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 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 1
Be patient or move on?Page 1 of 1    
Ok, gist of the story: Met a guy from online .. we've hung out only twice. .... on the second date/hang out I tell him I like him and would like to see how things progress. (Not talking about going "exclusive" or anything yet. Just let him know that I saw some potential in him and would like to see more of him) .... .... He says he likes me too but he has a lot on his plate right now and wants to take thing slow .... Also said his weekends are booked pretty much for the entire month and can't do anything until after. Oddly enough he checks into his online profile every day. .. .. Myself, right now I have a lot on my plate too but I've also indicated to him that I am open to perhaps just dinner or something easy during weeknights.

My gut tells me this is simply an easy let-down and I should just move on. I mean really, weekends booked for an entire month? ... LOL .... At best, perhaps his interest in me is just lukewarm and is holding out for something better ........ Most guys I have met who have a concrete interest would make the time to meet up again no matter how busy , even if its just a quick, simple weeknight dinner or something ....


Perhaps I have fallen into the "making myself too available" theme here and should take a step back & be patient? Or should I just take this as an easy let-down and move on?

Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 12:34:11 PM
two dates and you're already stalking his pof usage and trying to manipulate him with an availability game. since you claim you're not concerned with exclusivity yet, why don't you just relax and date a few men and stop rushing to invest yourself in this guy?

if he's fun and you like him, make arrangements with him. if they can't be made, make them with someone else. surely you're not so starved for love that you can't let a month go by without shriveling up and dying. see where you are then. it may be on dates with someone without an impediment, schedule or otherwise.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 3
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 12:49:11 PM
on the second date/hang out I tell him I like him and would like to see how things progress. (Not talking about going "exclusive" or anything yet. Just let him know that I saw some potential in him and would like to see more of him) .... .... He says he likes me too but he has a lot on his plate right now and wants to take thing slow .... Also said his weekends are booked pretty much for the entire month

Hey, I am even more "unavailable" than him, and GU besides.. That ought to make you show some interest in me?

In the emotional mind game of creating intrigue between equally attractive/qualified wary potential partners,
the one who "states a price" or shows too much interest too soon usually ends up the loser in that particular game of love me love me not..

When someone says they are booked for a month, it is usually clear that the future will never include assignations with YOU... Lettuce hope it wasn't just another second-date "hit and run"...
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 4
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 12:59:13 PM

He says he likes me too but he has a lot on his plate right now and wants to take thing slow


If people "have a lot on their plate", I always wonder why they are even bothering to be on a dating site, then.

Take care of all the other stuff on your plate then, if you don't have time for dating, and don't waste people's time.

Sounds like a flimsy excuse to me.
 Shannon0918
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 5
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 1:16:04 PM
^^^^^^^^^ totally agree! it's one thing to have a busy week or maybe even 2 weeks but no matter what your schduele if he wants to see you he will make time! other wise why did he waste yours in the first place.
 curvesweetblonde99
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 6
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 1:28:14 PM
Never tell a guy (especially that early on) that you're interested in him. It kills the mystery and tension. And if he said his weekends are booked he is probably not interested and just trying to let you down gently. A guy who is interested will move mountains to be with you. Just stop contacting him altogether and let him come to you. If he is interested he will and he will find a way to see you. But from the sounds of it, he is not interested and you should just accept it and move on. If you think you made yourself too available, you probably did. Next time make sure you don't do that.
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 7
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 1:31:09 PM
Thanks guys & gals.


I think your opinions confirm what I already knew in my gut. I think its time to throw this fish back into the sea and re-cast my net ....
 BrentTX87
Joined: 5/10/2012
Msg: 8
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 1:33:39 PM
While I definitely wouldn't say he's wasting your time, he definitely gave you a pretty clear indication that he has a low level of interest in further pursuing this. This early in the relationship, he should be trying to make some kind of time. He's probably holding out.

I would recommend you leave this guy alone and see other people. If he decides to continue pursuing this and making time, then go along. If he disappears for a while and then comes back around without keeping in contact, don't bite. He's using you as a back up.
 smarternudumbernmost
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 9
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 1:43:35 PM

Be patient or move on?

Seems pretty obvious you want more than what he wants to give.

I mean why bring this crap up at all?

I tell him I like him and would like to see how things progress. (Not talking about going "exclusive" or anything yet. Just let him know that I saw some potential in him and would like to see more of him)

That either means you need to get everything out of your head as quickly as it enters, immediate gratification problems, or you do actually want him to start offering labels and living up to what you want from him.

I mean if you wanted to see more of him...why wouldn't you just, over the course of the next week, month, year, invite him to do more stuff.

Would you call a guy on the telephone and say "Hey, just wanted to let you know I would like to talk to you on the phone more often. I saw some potential for some good phone calls. Nothing exclusive or serious. I just wanted to call to let you know I want to talk on the phone more. So I'm going to go now. Bye. "
Do you know anyone that wouldn't assume you wanted them to call you more?
Otherwise, you'd just call more often.

If I were him I'd see what you brought up and talk about as you just playing games, and if I read this OP I would then believe you love playing games while denying that you are playing them.

Although, just because you like playing games doesn't mean he's not playing his own.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 10
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 2:10:43 PM
My gut tells me this is simply an easy let-down and I should just move on.


Take it easy; and go with the flow.

Thats how relationships develop.

Geez.

Find a second or even third guy to date while you're "dating", and see if buddy comes around. Dont wait for him; but dont completely burn the bridge either.


It kills the mystery and tension


That stuff's overrated
 FC363
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 11
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 2:55:52 PM
It's time to move on. He's just too gutless to tell you he's not interested.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 12
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 2:59:39 PM

I think your opinions confirm what I already knew in my gut. I think its time to throw this fish back into the sea and re-cast my net ...

Or...you could cool your jets and slow WAAAAAAY down and pay attention to the advice people are actually giving you.
You scared him off. BIG TIME. Two dates? Just re-think everything you did and that should be a good start.
 tjl503
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 13
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 3:24:08 PM
Well you don't have any pics up so I can't tell what he was working with. If you wan't to meet guys post pics. If he liked you he would make time for you not say he's busy for a month. F this guy. Don't be patient, he's continuing his search for the right person and you're just not his type. What a BS excuse, he can't get away for a freakin hour to take you out? He's full of it, delete his contact info.
 Silent Steel
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 14
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Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 3:36:03 PM
The only woman that I want to hear " I see potential in you" is my mother. If a woman that I saw twice said that, I would see that as a red flag. If a woman that I saw twice said that, and stalked my online check ins, she would be down the road talking to herself.
 mtluggage
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 15
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 3:45:53 PM

Ok, gist of the story: Met a guy from online .. we've hung out only twice. ...

Here's the thing: You had two dates yet you refer to them as "Hang out" and you're already online complaining that he's not committing to you on weekends.

Sorry lady - you're a red flag!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 16
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Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 4:09:01 PM
Don't confuse being patient with just waiting around for nothing specific. Having a lot on his plate is about as vague as you can get, other than just I'm busy. It's just a chickenshyt way of saying "I don't see plans with you on my current schedule"....haha. If he talked about doing something in July....that's being patient IMO.

There was a time a few years back when I was raising 4 kids alone, going to grad school fulltime, working fulltime AND when these guys would talk about how "busy" they were I'd almost fall down laughing. I still managed to play tennis, work out AND had a full social life. Busy is BS, but some use it to sound important. Even busy people make time for things they really WANT to do.

Besides, you're still "available" until some guy makes it abundantly clear to you that he wants to be exclusive with you. You're free to talk to, go out with, "hang"...whatever until and unless that happens.

Do yourself a favor, don't tell yourself you're being patient because there's nothing you're waiting for or on. If there were he'd have made it clear there was. Sorry but that's the truth.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 17
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Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 4:19:17 PM
OK, it could be the nice let down deal.
so don't wait around for him or anything.
Check out other guys. Date. Live your life.

However....if you see potential....
send a chitchat email every once in a while.
See if he replies.
and after a month,
see then if he's as available as you.

Some guys ARE busy.

Good luck.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 18
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 4:30:05 PM
Be patient or move on?
....Move it.

we've hung out only twice. .... on the second hang out I tell him I like him
...Yawnsville. Get lost.

"I like him", doesn't scream, "I'm so attracted to him". You may as well be out shopping for a new entry way throw rug.

and would like to see how things progress.
....Its not going to get any better.

Also said his weekends are booked pretty much for the entire month


Yes, "Weekends" are reserved time, for the women will put out, for the women who do want to see him naked.

Oddly enough he checks into his online profile every day. .
....Thats not even close to odd.

Myself, right now I have a lot on my plate too but I've also indicated to him that I am open to perhaps just dinner or something easy during weeknights.
....Only if you buy your own dinner. No fukken way should he be spending any money on you , until you two can become physically intimate, and know what each other look like naked, on a regular basis.

My gut tells me this is simply an easy let-down and I should just move on.
.....Listen to your gut.
Notice your gut is not telling you to get him naked. Now get lost.

I mean really, weekends booked for an entire month? ... LOL ..
....Yes. Freaking deal with it. Get lost.

At best, perhaps his interest in me is just lukewarm
....Perhaps he walks his dogs at 9pm. We're not writing to him. YOU wrote this. YOU have no great desire to see him naked. You "Hung out" twice. Nothing happened. A third time isn't going to change anything. .....Get lost.

Most guys I have met who have a concrete interest would make the time to meet up again no matter how busy ,
.....Sure if they got the feeling you wanted to give him oral delights and rub your hands all over his body. But certainly not if you are looking at him as if you were shopping for a new throw rug.

even if its just a quick, simple weeknight dinner or something ....
......No. Only if you buy your own.

Perhaps I have fallen into the "making myself too available" theme here
.....No. You've fallen into the 7 yo little girl theme. Boys are icky!......Now, get lost.

and should take a step back & be patient?
....No, you should just get lost.

Or should I just take this as an easy let-down and move on?
..... You should drop your butt off a chair , get up , and get lost.
 rarestgold
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 19
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Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 6:41:22 PM
Move on honey and stop wasting your time. Rule of thumb number one "every person makes time for the things they want to make time for" you happen not to be one of those things in this case.
 shaka7225
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 20
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 6:56:27 PM
Your fine, not crazy or a red flag. :-) My two cents worth-give him the benefit of the doubt, you dont really know him. (I have met guys like him-he's Not abnormal, lol). Guys think differently, even from other guys. I'd say to dont "not" talk to him, if he text or calls. Keep the lines of communication open. He has done NOTHING wrong. BUT do get preoccupied with others out there. Date around. If this guy asks you out again, and your free...go for it. If not, you havent wasted anytime. GOOOOOOOD Luck!
 karst_56
Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 21
Be patient or move on?
Posted: 6/7/2012 7:45:41 PM
All things considered:
Sounds like the guy is married or otherwise involved.
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