| | Is anything private and personal after the break-up?Page 1 of 1 | | After you break up / divorce, why do some women thinks it is OK to talk about private relationship information to others? Do women think all our friends really need to know my sexual likes, my personal finances, my habits, my insecurities, ..... Women all want someone honest, I'd like someone discreet. Is anything private and personal after the break-up? | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 8:35:10 AM | | Absolutely - there are things I never want my children to learn about their father and I will never voice those things. If no one knows, no one can tell the children. There are other things which are between two people. I feel that is equally valid during the relationship and if it ends. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 10:58:57 AM | Studies have shown that women disproportionately speak more and talk more than men do. Dramatically so. Most women like to talk and like to talk a lot. They are going to talk about something right?
My best advice is, as a guy, assume anything you tell a woman will be repeated to someone else. And if it's a concern, never tell a woman anything you would never want repeated. Something you can key in is this. Anyone who gossips in front of you will gossip away from you. What that means is, if you meet a girl who talks about others people lives and finances and habits and what kind of dildo they like is probably going to talk to someone else about those same issues regarding you ( well maybe not the dildo part, or maybe so, I'm not judging, live and let live) If you find that something you don't like, don't date women who show you that card from the start.
IMHO, part of a "male" makeup is the inherent need to protect. This is how the human race has survived. Men organize, consider threats and defend their mates and children and the community. Many women don't think this way. They don't see talking about your money or private information as a possible threat to you.
Try to see the clues that are there to start and try to avoid people who don't share your views on privacy. Best advice I can give you. ( Although, IMHO, trying to find a non gossiping woman would mean probably eliminating 95 percent of all women on the planet) | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 11:04:15 AM | | The only thing that is personal and private to a person who talks after a break up, are their own faults that contributed to the break up. Most people know this, including your friends whom she is talking. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 11:08:14 AM | I have a friend who thinks that nothing is personal, she tries to tell me everything about her relationship. When they first had sex she stayed the night over at his place and in the morning he wet the bed. She told me this in front of him while he was trying to tell her to stop. I was embarrassed for him and for me.
For most women, after a break up, they're upset and want to be comforted and their friends will be sitting there telling them "Oh, you can do better!" and "He was horrible anyhow!" and she will try to justify him breaking up with her by telling her friends all of the bad things about him. Some men do it also. It's a kind of coping mechanism, a way to move on.
However, I 100% agree with you. I don't want his guys friends to know about everything that we do together just as I don't want my girl friends to know about every little problem we have, whether we're in a relationship or not. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 11:12:46 AM |
I have a friend who thinks that nothing is personal, she tries to tell me everything about her relationship. When they first had sex she stayed the night over at his place and in the morning he wet the bed. She told me this in front of him while he was trying to tell her to stop. I was embarrassed for him and for me.
^^^ And you just told everyone else. Just saying. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 11:25:58 AM | You're venting because you're upset about your privacy not being respsected. That's certainly understandable.
There's nothing you can do about it, you can't control what anyone else does. Since it's an ex, you don't likely even have any influence over her behavior. What I'd say it to ignore it, as best as you can. She's doing it to poke at you, to try to get some twisted pleasure.
I look at it this way, the people who know me, are close to me and I care about wouldn't pay any attention if someone did this to me and even if they heard something, they would only think less of the person shooting off their mouth. Your ex is likely enjoying whatever attention she can get, which won't likely last long. If she finds out you're ignoring it, she won't be able to get her jollies and will stop.
Don't fan the flames, ignore the potential Springer Show blabbermouth. It'll likely all blow over if you don't feed into it. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 12:05:47 PM |
^^^ And you just told everyone else. Just saying.
Do any of you know him/her? No. Did I tell you his/her name? No. Have I told anybody who knows them? No. [not that she hasn't told them herself]
It's a story to exhibit how some women think that nothing in a relationship is personal, which relates directly to the thread. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 1:03:40 PM |
Do any of you know him/her? No. Did I tell you his/her name? No. Have I told anybody who knows them? No. [not that she hasn't told them herself]
It's a story to exhibit how some women think that nothing in a relationship is personal, which relates directly to the thread.
Lol, Import was right. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 1:58:06 PM | | same story every time. youre the man of her dreams as long as shes happy, but once she starts to have doubts...its on. she will tell all of your business to all of her friends, in the most negative way of course. then when shes heard about people say she can do better, she will go out and try. i dont tell secrets to women anymore. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/8/2012 2:21:00 PM | | my wife cheated on me i left everything even my kids but when i started meeting lasses again my ex told my 12 year old son i was sleeping with people why ? and hated all lasses i got with again why she said it was so son didnt think she broke family up , she slept with me loads of times after split while still with the lad she cheated with but told him we didnt sleep together haha ah well | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/9/2012 2:01:18 PM | "maybe a non-disclosure agreement is in order? Ladies would you sign one?"
I respect myself and my privacy too much to blab about the personal details of a previous relationship. As far as signing an agreement, I think that's kind of out of line because it's simply not necessary. How would you enforce it? Really. Plus when someone comes to me after breaking up, I don't put a lot of stock in what they say anyway. I'm not one for gossip...ugh. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/9/2012 6:16:41 PM | Just about every man I've ever dated has told me private/embarrassing stuff about an ex. I know they now do the same about me.
Woman I know likes to sleep with a variety of co workers, her business, doesn't bother me. What does bother me is she shares size and skill with everyone. I really don't want to know this much about my co workers, shows an absolute lack of class. | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/9/2012 8:02:57 PM | Sharing personal info after a break-up is just a douchey thing to do.
Although, if it's just her best friend that's normal.....women talk about EVERYTHING to their best friends. Beyond that is douche-zone... | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/9/2012 9:13:03 PM |
Do women think all our friends really need to know my sexual likes, my personal finances, my habits, my insecurities, .....
you only found this to have happened to you POST divorce ?
lotsa women will do this and run their mouths to their friends everything bout you when you are with them... | |
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| Is anything private and personal after the break-up?
Posted: 6/9/2012 9:35:26 PM | One of the things that used to annoy me about my ex was his habit of telling friends/family/co-workers our business and that was while we were together. Gawd only knows what he was like after we split.
No, I don't think your friends need to know all your business but then I'm a very private person.
Don't think the confidentiality agreement would work unless it was done legally and you could afford to take her to court if it was broken. | |
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