| | Is a picture worth a 1000 words?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | Have you ever looked at someone's picture and was not particularly attracted to them, however you had many things in common? I am sure you have, did you go out with them anyway? After all, looks do change after getting to know someone or they may not photograph well....right? | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 11:06:17 AM | | Yes some people come across better in pictures than in real life.. and vice versa. Best not to decided how you feel about someone till you meet them. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 11:07:08 AM | I don't base my replies on here by looks. As you said, people look different in person anyway.
I also find that I am more attracted to people (or less attracted) once I see that they have a brain and aren't afraid to use it and how they generally treat people they interact with. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 11:16:17 AM | | Yes I've tried that, since I often am attracted to men that others don't consider 'all that'. But it has NEVER panned out and I always feel like a jerk after. Good on paper is just that, good on paper. You have to have some sort of physical attraction. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 11:23:39 AM | A couple months ago my horse calender (the month with the gorgeous palomino) told me that "It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart".
And I agree with Shakti ( who has very pretty eyes, by the way) that you do need some physical attraction to get the ball rolling. And I would agree that not everyone photographs very well.
But to get to the meat of your question, if I met someone who I was not particularly attracted to, I would probably go out with her anyway (as I have done in the past) if we seemed to hit it off on a non physical level.
My pictures are only worth about a hundred or so words. Collectively. LOL. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 11:27:22 AM |
"It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart".
I like quotes and I'm stealing this one. Yes - that's exactly how I feel/view things. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 11:42:27 AM | | What I find fascinating, and vexing - lol - is that the better-looking women tend to see with different eyes than the homely-looking women. I get many messages from homely-looking women wanting to meet because they like my photos, while the better-looking women are not physically attracted at all. It's almost as if they are looking at two different guys. lol. You'd wouldn't think that somebody's own physical attractiveness would affect how attractive THEY find other people. But it seems to. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 12:07:28 PM | | Nope. I don't bother going out with guys, whose profile pics I dont find attractive. I would feel it was just a waste of my time. There are some people that look better in person than in pics, but I dont want to take the chance. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 12:20:03 PM |
What I find fascinating, and vexing - lol - is that the better-looking women tend to see with different eyes than the homely-looking women.
Is that really how it works or is it that's once you have glimpsed the personality of a woman, and whether you like her as a person, that their appeal increases or decreases ? That input of attraction towards the person rather then the features might be the basis of your theory that appealing women are better looking.
For me, I find most people ordinary looking. Certainly most everyone has at least one great feature but the proportion of head-turningly attractive people and look-the-other-way unattractive people are very small when considering the entire population. When I learn about the person, their core values, their strength of character, then I find I cannot separate the personality from the looks. A person becomes very attractive based on the entire package or very unattractive based on the entire package. Someone might fit into that group of elite with regards to their looks but if they are selfish, cruel and rude, they have zero appeal. Their looks will never compensate for a nasty personality.
Consider your good friends. People who stand by you when you need them. Who you know you can rely on. I'll bet you don't consider even one of them to be unattractive. IMO that's because the knowledge that they are good people blends with what might be very ordinary features and makes them attractive as a whole.
Wow - that was harder to explain that I thought it might be ! | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 12:25:27 PM |
Nope. I don't bother going out with guys, whose profile pics I dont find attractive. I would feel it was just a waste of my time. There are some people that look better in person than in pics, but I dont want to take the chance.
I just can't stop laughing at this. May I ask where you are hiding your pic? Or is a double standard normal operating procedure? | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 12:37:19 PM | | Not hiding my pics at all. I have pics-just don't have pics on this profile-which is for forums only. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 12:51:30 PM | POF is a picture game, we keep playing forever until we get the hot ones, but that never happens. In real life people fall for each other all the time regardless of what a pic would look like, if you had seen one before you met that person.
On the other other hand some pics speak for themselves and you can tell right away that it's not your type.
My self for instance, am much better looking than a camera is capable of rendering me. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 1:02:47 PM |
Not hiding my pics at all. I have pics-just don't have pics on this profile-which is for forums only.
POF policy prohibits having more than one profile. They ban people for that. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 1:05:15 PM | | Research has shown that people tend to pair with those who are equally attractive. I tend to pass on photos that are truly unappealing to me but I will respond to messages from less attractive men. It's sooooo awkward to meet someone who's more attracted to you than you to them. I wouldn't want a guy to meet me if he weren't truly interested. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 1:14:08 PM | Is that really how it works or is it that's once you have glimpsed the personality of a woman, and whether you like her as a person, that their appeal increases or decreases ?
No, what I'm saying is that for me, whenever a woman has contacted me and told me how great my profile is, it has invariably been a less than average looking woman. And this goes back years to when I first discovered POF in 2004. So I can say this with over a hundred data points to back it up. And in real life as well. Many unattractive women have shown interest, but no attractive woman ever has. Same thing with the favourites list and the Meet me. All the women who have favorited me or wanted to Meet Me are distinctly unattractive. And while "attractive" may be a nebulous term that may be hard to define, let's just say they are in Roseanne Arnold territory. And it's a shame too, because some of them have great profiles and seem to have good personalities, but there is just no attraction at all. So it seems that women view men as attractive or unattractive depending on how attractive they themselves are. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 2:34:41 PM | have you ever seen a dress on a hanger that was so beautiful but when you put it on it was lke UGH!
have you ever seen a dress on a hanger that wasn't that cute but you tried it on anyway because it was the right color, style and you were stunned to find that it fit your curves perfectly?
Same way with men :)
So it seems that women view men as attractive or unattractive depending on how attractive they themselves are.
I respectfully disagree. Take for instance your pic/profile.
Another poster commented on how great it was. I don't particularly care for your "look" because I am universally attracted to men with dark hair but then I read your profile. Your personality is very strong and comes out clear in your written word. By the time I was done reading I found you to be incredibly handsome. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 2:43:49 PM | | yes and he was 10x more attractive IRL than in his pic. Unfortunately, 'inner beauty' wasn't quite on par w/ that one... | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:08:14 PM |
Nope. I don't bother going out with guys, whose profile pics I dont find attractive. I would feel it was just a waste of my time. There are some people that look better in person than in pics, but I dont want to take the chance.
nailed it. This woman is saying what everyone thinks but doesnt want to come off as "I only look at pics" when actually THEY DO.
I have never come across a pic and say..."well, she is overweight, not that attractive (to me) but you know what, lets give it a shot!!!
if anybody tells you that you go out with someone who isnt physically attractive to them...THEY ARE LYING...or...plan on just being friends anyway... | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:15:26 PM | There is something called the halo effect, if we r attracted to a person , we "see" wonderful attributes & if r not attracted...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect
The halo effect or halo error is a cognitive bias in which our judgments of a person’s character can be influenced by our overall impression of them. It can be found in a range of situations—from the courtroom to the classroom and in everyday interactions. The halo effect was given its name by psychologist Edward Thorndike and since then, several researchers have studied the halo effect in relation to attractiveness, and its bearing on the judicial and educational systems.
Role of attractiveness
The halo effect isn’t limited to individual traits or overall likeability, a person’s attractiveness has also been found to produce a halo effect.
[edit] On personality and happiness
Dion and Berscheid (1972) conducted a study on the relationship between attractiveness and the halo effect.[2] Sixty students from University of Minnesota took part in the experiment, half being male and half being female. Each subject was given three different photos to examine: one of an attractive individual, one of an individual of average attractiveness, and one of an unattractive individual.
The participants judged the photos’ subjects along 27 different personality traits (including altruism, conventionality, self-assertiveness, stability, emotionality, trustworthiness, extraversion, kindness, and sexual promiscuity). Participants where then asked to predict the overall happiness the photos' subjects would feel for the rest of their lives, including marital happiness (least likely to get divorced), parental happiness (most likely to be a good parent), social and professional happiness (most likely to experience life fulfillment), and overall happiness. Finally, participants were asked if the subjects would hold a job of high status, medium status, or low status.
Results showed that participants overwhelmingly believed the more attractive subjects to have more socially desirably personality traits than either the averagely attractive or unattractive subjects. Participants also believed that the attractive individuals would lead happier lives in general, have happier marriages, be better parents, and have more career success than the unattractive or averagely attractive individuals. Also, results showed that attractive people were believed to be more likely to hold secure, prestigious jobs compared to unattractive individuals.[3] | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:18:13 PM | No, what I'm saying is that for me, whenever a woman has contacted me and told me how great my profile is, it has invariably been a less than average looking woman. And this goes back years to when I first discovered POF in 2004. So I can say this with over a hundred data points to back it up. And in real life as well. Many unattractive women have shown interest, but no attractive woman ever has. Same thing with the favourites list and the Meet me. All the women who have favorited me or wanted to Meet Me are distinctly unattractive. And while "attractive" may be a nebulous term that may be hard to define, let's just say they are in Roseanne Arnold territory. And it's a shame too, because some of them have great profiles and seem to have good personalities, but there is just no attraction at all. So it seems that women view men as attractive or unattractive depending on how attractive they themselves are.
That is so true. I thought it was just me.
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I find that there are not enough Plain Janes in the lake. The ones I message tend to be perversely too young for me and really hot. The ones that message me all look my mother if twice as big.
Just give me a Plain Jane and I'm good to go. | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:26:35 PM | have you ever seen a dress on a hanger that was so beautiful but when you put it on it was lke UGH!
have you ever seen a dress on a hanger that wasn't that cute but you tried it on anyway because it was the right color, style and you were stunned to find that it fit your curves perfectly?
Same way with men :)
So, the moral of the story is we need to hang men before trying them ? LOL That seems rather harsh! | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:28:42 PM | lol@less than average looking woman... I don't recall seeing you on the cover of GQ ever... maybe less than average to you... anytime someone finds you attractive enough to generate a note you should be flattered... regardless of how they look....
as for the topic... I use to be on a meet up site that had parties all the time... I can't even tell you how many people I have met because of parties who looked better than their pics.... and then some that looked worse than their pics... there is more to attraction than just looks... looks can get you in the door... but a foul personality will get you kicked out.... just as an average person can become amazingly attractive when you get to know them... | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:33:18 PM |
just as an average person can become amazingly attractive when you get to know them...
I really dont think this is what we are talking about. I am bald and a big guy. 6'2 300 lbs weight lifter, I have a little gut, but im a huge guy.
there isnt a woman alive that is attracted to smaller, non-body builder types that are gonna be attracted to me. Doesnt work that way.
I am not afraid to say it. I dont like bigger woman. I just dont. There isnt a profile alive that is gonna "change" me to go out with a bigger woman.... | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:37:22 PM | | and these attitudes explain why some people are single.... and it is fine that you will never be attracted to a big women... as I am sure there are many women that will never be attracted to you.... but an open mind when looking is never a bad thing.... and keeping what we like on a list rarely benefits us in the long run.... ask anyone who has been married for 20+ years about the changes people go through.... and in that you hope that the person you marry... remains the same in their core values... as that is the only thing that time on its own can't change.... | |
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| Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:41:27 PM | I have tried to date men I wasn't attracted to. Only once did I become somewhat attracted to their looks overtime (we met offline) and things didn't work out anyway. So I have tried - many many many times and I know things don't change for me.
I can tell from a picture if I will be attracted to someone physically or not. There is NO WAY someone can look THAT different in person. If I am on the fence, their personality can win me over ~ but if it's a straight up 'ehhh don't think so' then sorry, no.
So it seems that women view men as attractive or unattractive depending on how attractive they themselves are.
Doesn't everyone kind of do that in one way or another? I think *most* people have a fair idea of their level of physical attractiveness and what type they can attract. If a woman is gorgeous and is told she is all of her life, she knows she can go after the gorgeous man... and vice versa.
Perhaps these homely women know they can't get the gorgeous men, so they email you. LOL no offense, but that's pretty much what you said yourself.
I don't consider myself homely, but I am attracted to some damn homely men in others opinions - Christopher Walken, Rob Zombie, Steve Buscemi and my list goes on and on... and it's really not their personalities; I like their quirky looks! | |
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