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| | Okay,back again...hopefully for the last time.Page 1 of 1 | Okay, here's what I've got...
First one should be obvious, you need a few more pictures. Well lit outside etc.
It's not that hard to describe what you want in a woman. Don't overthink it though. Avoid using terms like honest, trustworthy, cuddly, you know mushy stuff like that. Don't focus on what you want from the emotional side of things, instead think about lifestyle.
Maybe you want an active gal who runs or bikes, has that athletic drive that you maybe have. Maybe you want someone who's health conscious and focused on nutrition. Everybody tries to identify themselves with emotional trigger words, but not so many can ride a mountain bike for 20 miles through the woods. Get my drift?
Try to break it up into separate paragraphs. Description of yourself first, your hobbies/activities second, and what you're looking for last. What you have isn't terrible by any means, but its a little scattered. Try to move it around a little and consolidate similar lines.
Just my 2 cents :) | |
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| Okay,back again...hopefully for the last time.
Posted: 7/12/2012 5:12:14 PM | A couple of things would turn me off about your profile.
You're 31 and list yourself as "retired"? I'd think I wouldn't want to support you. You amend that to "semi-retired" in your text, but again I'm wondering, what does this guy do to support himself? Can you list what you do work at? I would try for a positive spin.
You list yourself as having a "few extra pounds," but I don't see that from your pics, unless they're old and you've gained weight. Your pics looks like you're athletic.
Your primary pic is great, but the caption smacks of narcissism. Caption it differently or use no caption, otherwise it seems like you're stuck on yourself. Let the women think that you have gorgeous eyes.
Too much talk in your profile about drinking. Now I'm thinking, ok, he's stuck on himself, unemployed, and a drinker? No thanks! List some more interests in the interests section, and then talk about them in your profile. For example, you list "poetry" as an interest -- would that be writing poetry to your lady, reading it to her on a date, and what kind of poetry do you like?
Hopefully these suggestions help you out. I'm sure others will chime in too. Good luck. | |
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| Okay,back again...hopefully for the last time.
Posted: 7/12/2012 5:28:32 PM | It's not bad. But i agree about the caption on the main picture. You are a good looking guy. Some ladies will be intimidated or shy already, no need to make it harder on them.
"Now,what do I want as far as a partner. Well first and foremost I want a woman. I don't want a man, boy or a girl, I want a woman and all the maturity that comes with one. I don't want a high maintanence woman nor one that spends her life in the mall,in clubs or getting her hair done every day. I don't mind cracked nails,split ends and not so perfect eyebrows(but please,have TWO of them,not one long one)."---I would remove all this. It's silly and feels condescending.
"Must not be looking for Activity Partner"--this always kills me. what if a really great gal came on here and was looking for people to join her Jenga tournament? But she stumbled upon your profile and thought she might like to take a chance. And now she can't email you? | |
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| Okay,back again...hopefully for the last time.
Posted: 7/22/2012 9:46:38 PM | | I'd change your body type to average. You definitely need more photos including some that show your whole body (in clothes). None of your interests really sound like things most women would enjoy doing. | |
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