| | heres a funny one /risquePage 1 of 1 | | A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and says: "Hello!"He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says,: "Do you Know me?"To which she replies: "I think you're the father of one of my kids."Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says: "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that got me so excited I had to lay you right there on the pool table with all my buddies spraying whip cream on us?"She looks into his eyes and calmly says: "No, actually I'm your son's maths teacher!" | |
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| heres a funny one /risque
Posted: 6/13/2012 10:09:25 PM | and another
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".Again, there's a bright flash ... and then his legs fall off! | |
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| heres a funny one /risque
Posted: 6/13/2012 10:11:41 PM | The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You **stard!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten **stard!"
The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, a Newfie ,
Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"
The Newfie in the back of the court stands up and says,
"I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that ***hole, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said that he didn't have one. | |
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