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 BigSwede34207
Joined: 5/18/2012
Msg: 1
A night owl vs a morning person ... Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
ANYone make that work? .... I don't see how. To me it would be a deal-breaker.

I remember some years back talking to a girl ...seemingly perfect in every way ... but when she said that she had to get to bed ...at 9pm ...I said wassssupy ? 9pm was LATE for her ...normally she went-to-bed at 7:30 or 8 ....and got up at 3am .. to run 5 miles then drive to work 30-some miles.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 2
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A niteOWL vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/14/2012 11:13:56 PM
comically those relationships tend to work because your never around each other long enough to piss each other off.
 Dolphina
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 3
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 1:04:31 AM
It's no more a deal breaker than living with a shift worker. Sounds, anyway, like she is a kind of shift worker, maybe a nurse, or somebody who works long hours from early in the morning.

There's plenty of time between being awake and going to bed, and there are the weekends.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 1:41:52 AM
All potential matchups are technically possible. People are very complicated, which is probably so many of us spend so much effort trying in vain to find a way to simplify the search for a mate with likes and dislikes, imperatives and "red flags."

In this case, I have known people for whom the perfect relationship was one in which the mate was in and out of their space infrequently, but regularly and constantly. There are all manner of degrees of closeness, and amounts of togetherness that satisfy each person.
 BurtonGusterJr
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 5
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 1:48:47 AM
I'm a morning person hence why I'm up right now, I go work every morning at 5:45. I don't see that it should be that big of an issue as long as they don't wake you.
 CJinCentralPa
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 6
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 1:49:03 AM
The last woman I dated worked nightshift and I understood her reasoning which was to get away from the politics of her job.

However it totally helped to screw our relationship. On the weekends she played catchup with sleep so going away for a romantic weekend was nixed. Ironically I let her be during the day to let her get sleep and I was accused of avoiding her.

The only time we had together was from 10 p.m. to 11 p.m. when I would make coffee and she would have her "morning cup" and I would be having my "evening cup"
 Nerfmagnet1
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 7
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 2:14:54 AM
It's possible. You won't see each other more often than a few times a week depending on how far apart you live. The person I'm "talking to" right now has a completely opposite schedule from mine. We actually have to trade shifts with coworkers to make time to spend together and I recently requested my days off to be changed so neither of us are trading shifts anymore.

If you want it enough it's possible. I'm the night owl, she's the morning runner (literally). I'm trying not to thread jack you here but I was also recently offered a position at the post office and soon our schedules will match up and with me changing jobs and working closer to her, there will be more opportunities to get dinner and hang out than there are right now. I too will be like the person you described. Up at 3-4am to run and get ready for the day, when now I just do my working out after work.

So yes, it's possible.
 lightbrownsuga2luv
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 8
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 3:23:37 AM
I'm a morning person too. But, going to bed late is not an issue for me. I don't do it often, but my time to hit the sack would be around 10, maybe 11 depending on what I'm doing.

However, my body wakes me up sometimes an hour before the alarm "6". I don't see how it would cause a problem for couples. My ex worked nights, he slept while the kids and are were up. You make it work if the relationship is a compatiable loving situation.

Maybe that person was making an excuse of not dating you.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 9
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 3:23:55 AM
If there is a love, there will be a compromised. Unfortunately, not all jobs offer only day time working hours unless one whom make more money willing to support another to have a match waking hours.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 10
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 4:01:59 AM
It would work perfectly for me since, well, really, I don't enjoy people and their company too much. An hour or so a day with an individual would be just about "right". Preferably with both of us being nakey. Yep, an hour sounds about right.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 11
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 5:38:54 AM
This wouldnt bother me, unless the other person was always nattering at me for our differences.
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 12
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 5:41:37 AM
I'm a night owl. I go to work, then collect my son from school, come home cook dinner, clean the house, drive my son to kick boxing and so on...There are never enough hours in a day for me.
At around 9pm I am ready to have some 'me' time which is usually talking to friends or computer stuff...just so I can wind down the day and relax.
My former boyfriend was an 8 o'clock person and if I didn't go to bed when he wanted me to then he would 'hang around me' until I went to bed then give me a lecture on how I wasn't being fair to him!
At no point did I ever stop him from going to bed when he wanted to.
I was solo for 15 years before I met him.....This was MY routine and MY house.
Perhap's IF he had a job and cooked the odd meal and cleaned the dunny now and then he might have had thing's HIS way, but he didn't which is why he is an ex!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 13
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 6:45:08 AM
I suspect it's like anything else. If the two people have enough in common, like each other, they will figure out how to carve out togetherness time. This situation would be highly suited to the types of people that often feel crowded by the presence of others in their lives when other people wouldn't feel any angst.
 _Iconoclast_
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 14
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:10:14 AM
I tailor my schedule around my job and nothing else.

If that's a problem, I don't see another answer. So, I've got to pass on anyone who expects me to do anything else.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 15
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:14:15 AM
so would you rather her not work? and be dependent on you for support? and just sitting from of the tv with no exercise while her body becomes obese? 30 miles is not far to drive?
Yes I believe it was a deal breaker but only on her part, she seems too good for you.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 16
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:24:21 AM
I`ve been having sleeping problems for years now, particularly due to being an incredibly nervous and stressfull person (even though I have all the expression of a guy who can negotiate a hostage crisis while drinking tea) and partly due to bad memories of past horrific and ultra-violent experiences of my youth coming back to haunt me. Only time I sleep peacefully or a lot is when I`m sleeping with someone next to me.
If not, I usually sleep anywhere from 2-4 hours a night. After a week I`ll drop for 6-7 out of exhaustion.

So, I guess I`m both LOL.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 17
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:34:58 AM
I work in the wonderful world of retail where I work weekends and holidays. This week I worked 5:30 am -3:30 pm, 10 am -7 pm, 3pm -11pm and a 12pm - 9pm. Not necessarily in that order. I don't have a sleep schedule, I sleep when I can. I only get one weekend a month on my rotation. We are only closed on Thanksgiving and Christmas, also only close early for a handful of other holidays as well.

In saying that I feel like it would be hard for me to date a Mon-Fri same shift everyday person. Between the mucked up sleep schedules, me not being off every weekend like them, not being able to go to a Memorial Day Picnic with family, etc. That relationship may not last that long.

But I guess I could/would give it a whirl if the opportunity came about. Why not?

Would I consider it a "red flag?" Not only no but Hell no! I would find them lucky to have the same schedule everyday. But other than that why not?
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 18
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:44:53 AM
The guy I"m currently dating usually gets up around 4:30 am to be at work at 5; and I'm frequently UP until 2 am...


So usually he goes to bed at 9:30 and I frequently don't even get home till shortly before then.

But it's working so far somehow...just know the few days a week we go out I know it will probably be earlier than typical for me. Just know we will go out after he has a nap; and that his pumpkin except for weekend dates will hit at 10; 10:30 latest... So we're making it work so far...



I`ve been having sleeping problems for years now, particularly due to being an incredibly nervous and stressfull person (even though I have all the expression of a guy who can negotiate a hostage crisis while drinking tea) and partly due to bad memories of past horrific and ultra-violent experiences of my youth coming back to haunt me. Only time I sleep peacefully or a lot is when I`m sleeping with someone next to me.
If not, I usually sleep anywhere from 2-4 hours a night. After a week I`ll drop for 6-7 out of exhaustion.



seriously? Ouch... sorry to hear of the recurring violent stuff haunting you; doesn't sound like a lot of fun. Hope you will soon find your human tranqilizer to help you sleep; your lack of sleep chronically can't be a lot of fun..
 undertheradar707
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 19
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:49:19 AM
I think some folks have too many 'deal breakers' that severely limits their dating pool.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 20
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:57:58 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Agree UTR


To me it would be a deal-breaker.


I don't think you need to worry about it honestly.

Someone doesn't want it to work if something so petty makes that big of a difference.


He likes it 65 degrees in the house, she likes it 72.
Dayum give her a sweater and take off your socks.
 Jac_the_Gripper
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 21
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:01:03 AM
It would solve the snoring deal breaker issue.
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 22
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:15:16 AM
^^^ lol!

I’m an early bird and the men I’ve dated have usually been night owls. I thought it was fine, even good, since I could get work done in the morning before he got up, theoretically. But some folks will pick and complain about anything. Relationship saboteurs. So maybe the key isn’t to find someone whose life mirrors yours so much as to find someone who doesn’t pick and complain about everything.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 23
A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:36:40 AM

and got up at 3am .. to run 5 miles


^^^ Crazy woman......................

Op,where there's a will there's a way!!!
Im a nightowl and so is my fella but he works crazier (is that a word?) hours than i do and we DONT live in each others' pockets.
It keeps our relationship fresh and exciting.
So,it certainly CAN work
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 24
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:13:03 AM
It would depend on if it bothered you or not. Some people want a person who runs on their same inner time clock, others don't care if their mate is sleeping late, etc.

I have worked for years at a time when I had to be at work at 5am-7am, and never did my body clock take on those times. The second I didn't have to wake up that early, I slept later and went to bed later. I am not and never will be, a morning person. I know morning people like to feel superior, but really, it's just part of who you are, nothing all that special about being up and about at 5 am. LOL
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 25
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A night owl vs a morning person ...
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:49:03 AM

It would solve the snoring deal breaker issue


too funny

Well I work nightshifts, you can make it work if both people are willing too, I've had my share of staying up and going to breakfast on dates or cuddling/talking for alittle while before heading to bed. Usually there is some overlap time when both of us are awake, so thats when you make time for each other or days off. I've also had to end a couple relationships because they simply couldn't understand that working a 12 hour nightshift meant that I was sleeping at 2pm in the afternoon because I worked all night not because I was lazy. I would always explain thats it's like me phoning you at 2am and asking why you are asleep.

So many dealbreaking issues to chose from it's scary these days.
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