| | If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?Page 1 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | Do you think relationships would be a lot easier or would it just become boring?
As we know, this generalization about "how men think" or "how women think" as an entire gender is quite commonplace ... what IF we could all of a sudden understand and relate to the opposite sex like we can towards our own sex?
I guess this could be a two-fold question ~
Perhaps from a different angle, what IF the opposite sex all of a sudden took on the SAME emotions & thought patterns as our own gender?? .....
My guess is: Despite the classic complaints of "All men/ women are such & such", many if not most heterosexual people would not want it that way. ... IMHO, the very fact that men & women think differently is also the very reason why we are drawn to one another. ...... As in the Chinese Yin-Yang theory, it is these two polar opposites that complement one another and need the other for balance.
Your thoughts?  | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:18:33 AM | I agree with her.
I am confused more by some women than men. There IS no thought pattern with women.
It is personality pattern. Introverts versus extroverts... those who think all women multi-task have not met MANY women I worked with (nor men who were AWESOME at multi-tasking)
many men pushed for relationships whereas the women were commitement-phobic..
Men wanted the committed sexual relationship and to wait until they knew women better; and the women wantedto jump their bones from the first date.
EVeryone's different. Women; men.
People have to quit trying to label to understand. They just need to learn the person themselves FOR themselves. Otherwise the labels make us see things in people we often manufacture so that they "fit" our label.
Not understanding we are retranslating their words into a language they did not intend | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:21:52 AM | Ahaha, you are kidding, right?
Men taking on the same thought patterns, and, God forbid, EMOTIONS as women? Oh heck no, one of the things I love about men is that they are straight forward and easy to understand, and, if they're healthy, their emotions are steady, solid, and in check. This is unbelievably soothing to my feminine psyche.
I love women, but I think a man is the perfect creature to balance me out.
It helped to read up some on them, but now that I have it's all become clear as daylight. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:22:51 AM | People have to quit trying to label to understand. They just need to learn the person themselves FOR themselves. Otherwise the labels make us see things in people we often manufacture so that they "fit" our label.
Not understanding we are retranslating their words into a language they did not intend
A major evolutionary default function of the frontal lobes IS pattern recognition, without conscious effort the brain DOES attempt to fit things/people into labels/types. It was how the tribal groups managed to survive socially and physically when strangers approached..
IF we *think* we can find enough commonalities with a stranger, then we can relax a bit more and not constantly fret they may rob/kill us with a rock or spear at the earliest opportunity.
many if not most heterosexual people would not want it that way. ... IMHO
Now many if not most people may understand why Finding and Maintaining a compatible long-term SO relationship IS
the second greatest challenge in life,
since success REQUIRES sharing about 50% power/control with another imperfectly understood, different agenda/possibly barely complementary mixed-up imperfect human being such as yourself... | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:24:30 AM |
My guess is: Despite the classic complaints of "All men/ women are such & such", many if not most heterosexual people would not want it that way. ... IMHO, the very fact that men & women think differently is also the very reason why we are drawn to one another. ...... As in the Chinese Yin-Yang theory, it is these two polar opposites that complement one another and need the other for balance.
I think not understanding someone and trying to is fine.
I absolutely and totally DESPISE, however, the attitude of some members of both sex, the inherent hypocrisie and resentment and bitterness displayed towards the other sex sometimes. That and the utter lack of politeness in people on the web. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:25:32 AM | I would like to think that everyone is different too. ... From my own personal experiences, ppl's behaviors and thought patterns are as individual as they come and perhaps can be effected more by how they were raised, educated and what they have been exposed to or experienced in life.
This question was meant to raise some thoughts for those who believe in the "all men are ______" or "all women are ______" principle.  | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:30:07 AM |
This question was meant to raise some thoughts for those who believe in the "all men are ______" or "all women are ______" principle.
That's fine, but the principle is flawed and untrue...
While it's true to say that "All chickens lay eggs" is it true to say "All chickens WILL lay eggs"? Is it true to say there are NO black chickens?
The all women are and all men are concepts have been propagated falsely for the last 2000+ years. Mostly by people who didn't want major social upheavals. Also by many of the men in power in their dfays that didnt want to see their power usurped by a woman.... | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:34:54 AM | LOL...priceless...my deepest and warmest regards to all the women who so far posted...god bless you all for being honest in your perspective.
Mixed feelings here.
It would be nice if we could speak the same language so to speak...but it makes me further appreciate those "one in a million" women who I can talk to for days on end without the "what the hell is THAT supposed to mean" that so often crops up.
Keep in mind I am aware as a guy I sometimes pull a "verbal inadvertant boner" and say something very stupid that I should be yelled at for...but some very unique woman laugh it off and say don't worry about it. They are a true blessing in my book and I am eternally gratefull. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:45:22 AM | Well, but.
If you enclosed 100 people of the same gender, together,
where they were forced to interact for a time --
would you really expect they'd all understand each other?
To me, there are a lot of factors inhibiting humans' understanding of each other which impact more than gender. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:19:03 AM |
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Who says you understand your own gender?
Mostly its just transferring yourself onto others believing you understand them because you understand some things about yourself.
Do you think relationships would be a lot easier or would it just become boring?
If everyone immediately and unquestionably "understood" each other, then communication would be no problem at all.
It would make "relationships" relatively redundant.
That's what most of a "relationship" is, just learning how to interact, how to communicate more complex needs and desires.
And if you can interact immediately, absolutely, clearly, and concisely (because we understand everyone), then a relationship would be unnecessary. We wouldn't have to take the time to interact beyond our own immediate goals.
All you would have to do is create a profile online clearly communicating what you want, and who you want, for that particular moment, and within a few minutes to an hour you would have that fulfilled. There would be no judgment, no guilt, simply understanding and communication.
Do you never read sci fi? The gaia group mind? Everyone can communicate and understand everyone else immediately?
As we know, this generalization about "how men think" or "how women think" as an entire gender is quite commonplace
I am not sure what you are talking about.
Because it's used in different ways.
You've got forum complaints polarizing by gender.
You've got people trying to sell books by marketing towards your stereotypes.
You've got scientists that will usually couch it in things like "generally," whereas the reader will translate it to an absolute.
what IF the opposite sex all of a sudden took on the SAME emotions & thought patterns as our own gender?? .....
It wouldn't really matter. Society would adapt.
Everyone would be the same though.
What IF everyone could all of a sudden have babies?
What IF all of a sudden no one could have babies?
What IF all of a sudden everyone's hair grew to exactly 1 meter in length.
Everyone (with the acceptance of people with undeveloped or damaged brains) have the same emotions.
They simply associate them with different things, and the amount of chemicals released upon triggering is slightly different.
And thought patterns? If everyone thought the same way then everyone would be Agent Smith.
many if not most heterosexual people would not want it that way
No. I wouldn't want it that way.
Simply because history to this point has proven there is a social hierarchy.
If we were all the same it would mean my position in society is completely arbitrary.
Which means stress and insecurity.
If I can believe I am better than you, more special than you, in some way. Or belong to a group that is better than your group, then my position in society is more secure than yours.
That means with any cuts, hard times, or lack of resources, means you go before I go, my needs will be met before your needs.
There is security in that.
If history and society evolved where everyone was the same, thought the same, felt the same, then a different society would have developed and I wouldn't want it any other way.
, the very fact that men & women think differently is also the very reason why we are drawn to one another
Are you talking about specialization?
The very fact that we have genders is why we are drawn to each other to mate and bond.
Because of the very fact that we are stronger and more resilient working in groups to fulfill self interest is the reason we are drawn together.
As in the Chinese Yin-Yang theory, it is these two polar opposites that complement one another and need the other for balance.
To me this kind of implies that human beings are more like separate species that are symbiotic rather than the same species with some evolutionary specialization. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:24:31 AM |
There are both men and women that are simple and read like open books---and conversely, there are both men and women that are more complex and difficult for me to read.
My take on it as well. I dont think it has anything to do with the gender. But people enjoy putting out neat little labels that identify stuff. I met some simple girls, I met some really complex and screwed up ones. Ditto for men.
I think people should learn to be a bit more open minded, and a bit less accepting of the preconceptions their parents and the outside world give them. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:27:20 AM | | No...I do not. Men are pretty simple creatures: just feed, give them nookie and let them have their space and they are happy. Women, on the other hand, I just do not get. And I am one. So I can't figure out women. Women are like exotic sportscars. Their parts are manufactured overseas and no one knows how to work on them. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:30:06 AM |
The all women are and all men are concepts have been propagated falsely for the last 2000+ years. Mostly by people who didn't want major social upheavals. Also by many of the men in power in their dfays that didnt want to see their power usurped by a woman....
There are of course no absolutes, but with that said, there are behaviors and tendencies that tend to be more common in one sex than the other, and hold more often than not to be true.
It's like saying that all women are shorter than men. Percentage wise women tend to be shorter then men, but there are also women that are over 6 foot tall, and there are men that are 4.8 and so on.
Men tend to be attracted by visual stimulation, while women tend to be attracted to character. That does not mean that women does not like a good looking guy, or a guy attracted to how a woman handles herself. Or when you hear that women do not want you to solve their problems, they just want your empathy. They are generalizations that for the most part tend to be true, yet there are always exceptions to the rule. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:41:43 AM | There are of course no absolutes, but with that said, there are behaviors and tendencies that tend to be more common in one sex than the other, and hold more often than not to be true.
Respectfully, Outmind, I disagree. This is something that has been placed in our collective subconscious over CENTURIES of false believing. The only differences there are between men and women are biological.
It's like saying that all women are shorter than men. Percentage wise women tend to be shorter then men, but there are also women that are over 6 foot tall, and there are men that are 4.8 and so on.
Those are physical characteristics. There is truth in saying "all women are USUALLY" in those cases, because its based on observations. It's like saying most Swedes are blonde or redheads, which is true, because its part of their genetic makeup. Not in ALL cases, there are brown haired Swedes, but usually. It`s biological and observable, and can be based on facts.
Men tend to be attracted by visual stimulation, while women tend to be attracted to character. That does not mean that women does not like a good looking guy, or a guy attracted to how a woman handles herself. Or when you hear that women do not want you to solve their problems, they just want your empathy. They are generalizations that for the most part tend to be true, yet there are always exceptions to the rule.
Those are behaviorism given to us by our parents. Or MAYBE, if one would dissect the brains of a man and then of a woman, or if we were more scientifically advanced, we`d discover that the brain of the woman and the man function slightly differently in certain areas. Again, this is biological. Traits of character are given to us by our parents, our schools, our uncles, all during the first few years of our time on Earth. Take an example; if you were 6 months old, and all throughout your years, I raised you in an abandonned house, away from everything, and teach how to "act like a girl". Put emphasis on picking a husband with character, that its personnality that counts, that winning at a sport isnt important participating is, etc and so on and so forth. Plus I dress you in dresses and stuff. When you hit 17 and you leave the shack and enter the world for the first time....will you KNOW your qa girl? Will you automatically act like a man, or like a girl, think like a girl, enjoy the same things and activities as a girl(well, as our notions of what women are is conceived)?
I`d MUCH rather have someone give me empathy than solve my own problems. This is a "definitive girl trait" according to rumors...does that make me "girly"? You'd know me, you wouldn't think it 
Anyways, sorry for the long post. None of this is really provable or anything, but its the way I see things. I wish more people DID see this, I get the feeling that relationships between people would be better if we really all dealt with it on an equality basis, instead of always seeing the other sex as an "alien" entity. After all, we all came from the same Original pool of Muck  | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:45:00 AM |
No...I do not. Men are pretty simple creatures: just feed, give them nookie and let them have their space and they are happy.
You`d treat me like a household pet, you`d probably be out of mine in about an hour LOL. No offense meant, but I`m different than that. And in the province (read Country ) I`m at, I`m a majority rather than a minority | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:05:02 AM | The same genders are just as much alike as they are different, and so is the same true of opposite genders. People are not alike because of their gender anymore than they are different because of their gender. People are individuals, you can't lump people together like that.
Some people like the conflict of being with someone they find hard to understand, others like the comfort of being understood and understanding who they are with. It's the individuals choice to pick the kind of dynamics they enjoy in relationships, no one is going to stick around unless they are getting something out of the dynamics. Positive or negative, it's always the choice of the individual, no matter how they may protest. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:07:43 AM |
Perhaps from a different angle, what IF the opposite sex all of a sudden took on the SAME emotions & thought patterns as our own gender?? .....
OY! If this were to happen, I'd join the Catholic church and become a "Bride of Jesus" (as in a Nun.) There is no way I'd want to even attempt to understand men if they suddenly turned chic-ish. I get men, women on the other hand? I stopped trying to understand them near puberty. It's just too taxing to try (at least for me.) JMO  | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 12:47:23 PM |
Perhaps from a different angle, what IF the opposite sex all of a sudden took on the SAME emotions & thought patterns as our own gender?? .....
"We are the Borg. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile." | |
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