| | PoF messaging advicePage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | This is probably somewhere in the forum but I don't know where to look/post this...
Im a single guy, 26, and I thought this site would be a good way for me to talk to the opposite sex (in this case women) because Iam pretty shy and find it very difficult to speak to women.
However, putting the PoF messaging advice section aside, I never know what to put in a starter messaging to someone. There are plenty of women I would love to chat to but after reading their profile (harder when they haven't wrritten much) I don't know how to message them?
Guys, what do you say in your first messages? and Women, What do you like to read or you respond well to in your (first) messages?
Any advice will be greatly appreciated thankyou. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:42:47 AM | | .......... If they like your pic they will answer ... | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:57:18 AM | Have you got paypal?,I offer a message writing service, eighty percent strike rate.
tips on how to find winners ,how to beat the odds,lay the favourites, subscribe now at.....smasherbackdoorsin.com. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:36:47 AM | Jame, pick something from their profile that you have in common and message them about it, doesn't have to be hilarious, just shows you have taken the time to look at their profile.
Ignore this lot! | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:39:30 AM | | Just write the alphabet. If they see what they like they will pick 'U' | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:43:22 AM | Thankyou for the advice x_kags_x and to the others you made me laugh.
I do usually mention something from their profile. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:56:13 AM | | Just send her an obscure message...intrigue her, mystify her, woo her :) | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 11:21:46 AM | | just be yourself. we all get a share of no replys! thats down to the person receiving mail. u dont want to start changing to suit a prospective partner nd loose your own identity! sorry if this sounds bit heavy! lol | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 11:26:15 AM | Just keep it short, mention something from her profile, and you're sorry you have to keep it short, because just looking at her pictures has made all the blood rush to your little head and you're about to faint.
Attention, vulnerability and flattery in a short chunk. They'll be beating a path to your door. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 11:47:54 AM | ^^ lol
@OP: don't get down if you don't get replies, that seems to be how this place works. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 1:18:58 PM | Ask them their bra size lol
On serious note be yourself, keep it short and try to end your message with a question so they can at least respond with an answer.
If they like your profile and pic then they will respond with even "hello" message. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 1:50:46 PM | | Romance, woo, and intrigue them, be different from the crowd. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 2:32:55 PM | Take my advice, don't send first messages with the hope of getting one in return........ On POF "Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment" (and no im not a space marine).
No matter how great your first messages is, most women are not here for dating and there are some 200 men to each woman.
Some are here for attention, some are here for an ego boost, some are here for "a bit of a laugh" (ie your messages are being shown to their friends and used as an evenings comedy), some are here to get revenge on men, some are even here to be picked up by modelling agencies (I kid you not).
For those who are more inclined toward dating, It's like a candy store for women, they generally join and immediately go all googly-eyed at the sight of the unobtainable top shelf "perfect man" (who's actually just a male model, here to pick up women for sex), then after 6 months of sh*t, they write on their profile how POF is such a waste of time and how they can't find any "genuine men"..... Go ahead try telling me im wrong ;)
The best approach is to write a good profile, post some decent photo's (difficult if you hate self photo's, like me) and just wait.... Sure send out a few messages, but don't be disheartened when the replies don't come flooding in.
Make sure you log in regularly during times when women would be on the internet, that's before dinner time and late at night. You really don't want to pick up the attention of a daytime TV watcher, they're f*cking nuts, all that "loose women" and stuff sends em loopy..... I've been unemployed, i've been there and daytime TV was the reason I got another job soooooo quicky.
For messages remember "comedy" and "fun", look at the type of person your messaging and aim your humour appropriately. If she looks like she watches "Friends" or any American sitcom, then you need to be quite obvious and slap stick(ish), if she seems intelligent, you need to be quite clever and use good old British humour.
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/17/2012 3:17:47 PM | | Thankyou so much for that advice. That's really helpful and also gives me a better stance on the kinds of people that are on this site. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/18/2012 1:34:09 AM | Strider, your post has been most useful and enlightening.
No wonder I never get any replies.
Over 100 messages sent out and about 2-3 replied.
Totally disheartening when you aren't feeling the most confident about yourself and just getting back on the dating scene. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/18/2012 1:43:27 AM | Lot of negativity on this thread. Im not Mr Gorgeous but I get replies from about 40 per cent of any messages and I get people contacting me too. I like to think that I have decent standards and would only message anyone whose photos I really like but I'm quite selective in terms of profiles - lots of things put me off and I just think that they wouldnt be suitable.
basically I'm contradicting this viewpoint that most of the women arent playing the game. My view is that there are far more women genuinely ready for dating than men.
Oh aye - funnily enough Ive never been interested in bra sizes either - big harry holas for me - but Id rather discover that than ask cos its not a deal breaker. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/18/2012 1:48:31 AM | | you could try doing an advanced search on women that match your needs, go through the results looking at every profile that catches your eye, (they will know you've viewed them), then sit back and see how many mail you. women aren't as shy as you think and you'll get a few who will mail you and you can start that way. if you get no mail try changing your profile content and then try it again | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/18/2012 1:49:39 AM | Spot on Strider !!
I recently read a profile on another site which said ''please ont add me to your hotlist. Ive already been added 700 times'' !!! | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/18/2012 1:59:41 AM | Whilst some of you men might think Strider has got it spot on.. I do think that it shows more about men reading their "advice " replies than it does actually receiving a message from them!
I am at home sometimes during the day (although don't watch daytime tv), but because you are home during the dayyou are a layabout or unemployed/watching Jeremy Kyle and/or loopy? Some of us work at other times.
Makes me laugh how you have got us women down to a T.. you think eh?
And most American sitcoms aren't even slapstick!! I would say British comedies are more so. | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:59:19 AM | No matter how great your first messages is, most women are not here for dating and there are some 200 men to each woman.
I've seen similar claims before, and whilst choosing to believe this may enable some men to 'feel better' about their own lack of success, it's actually total BS. 
You can verify for yourselves, exactly what the ratio of men to women is, on this site, by changing your search to the opposite gender (within your age group) , and narrowing the radius.
When I tried this, the reality was, about 6 men to every 5 women (1: 1.14) in my area, in my age range.
Hardly insurmountable.
Obviously this will vary from postcode to postcode, but "200 men to each woman", is just hysterical BS.
The last two paragraphs were good advice, apart from the diagnosis of the "loopy" daytime TV watchers. I note that the poster excluded himself from that diagnosis, during his own brief foray, because clearly, he was the exception to the rule.
If you can 'chat-up' women in real life, if you look attractive to the opposite gender (Or the gender you are trying to attract), are interesting, intelligent, and amusing, you will have no problems.
If you are as dull as ditchwater, unattractive, boring, negative, and blame everyone else for your failures, but yourself, (eg 200 men to every woman), then you'll probably struggle just as much here, on a dating site, as you would in real life.
Don't forget to have a picture holding a fish though.
Chicks dig that sh1t.
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:38:22 AM | Don't go deep or meaningful, it just confuses them, remember you are dealing with many women on here who's world view is formed from Reading Take a Break and watching quiz shows.
You are taking them way to seriously
That would be "whose view" and "too seriously". If you must persist in making these daily attacks on our intelligence I'd suggest you do it in a grammatically correct manner.
After all, you don't want to appear stupid... | |
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| PoF messaging advice
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:47:56 AM | | More sweeping generalisations about someone you have no knowledge of....how very tiresome this is becoming. Groundhog! | |
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