| | what am I doing wrong?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | I' have contacted or been contacted by several men that I thought might be a good match. We exchanged some emails, decided (mutually I thought) to talk by phone so I gave them my cell #. Then nothing. No call no messages. Am I trying to go too quickly? Any suggestions for me? | |
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| what am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:59:23 AM | | walk away..if you gave him your number and nothing??? I would walk away, not worth your trouble or time....Your worth more than that! | |
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| what am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/18/2012 10:42:55 AM | | "gave them" your phone number......?? That is serial phone give away! Is not going to work. You should not be giving away your phone number to many men at once. You sound needy, easy and desperate. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 10:52:47 AM | | If a man takes your number and doesnt bother to contact you..dont bother..no your not trying to quickly those men just arent interested and its better you know now, so you can find someone who is. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 10:54:24 AM | Sassybroad, (ignore the negative comments), some men are just players or worse married, and this is sometimes just a game for them, and sometimes it just wasn't meant to be. I don't recall reading anywhere in the OP's post her saying that she gave her phone number to many men all at once, it was several men and it could have been over a period of time, what a rude and predictable response from BP, but then, that's how he gets his kicks, by belittling women, how sad. It is neither desperate nor needy, neither does it make her in your terms "cheap" erm....this is a dating site after all
Don't let it get you down xxx | |
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| what am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/18/2012 10:58:21 AM | I can't imagine why you would think you've done something wrong. You followed through with the conversation. He/they did not. Their loss. You may be just as well off. It's too bad Gastonia is so far. Your idea of the perfect first date seems just that to me, perfect.
Just a suggestion: before you give your number, make them ask for it. If you're suggesting a talk on the phone, say you'll send a number if they want to call. Then, if they do, ask for theirs, too. Tell them you just want to be able to recognize the call when it comes. The way they respond to that might reveal something useful. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 11:07:37 AM | Welcome to the wonderful world of dating. Back in the day when we scribbled names and numbers on a sheet of crumpled paper, the same poop happened. Some called that were interested, and some didnt.
I find from my experiences its best to wait until they ask. Im in the south too, and chivalry is alive and well here. | |
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| what am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/18/2012 11:16:24 AM | And why the phone number so early? Emails to find out how truthful they are, exchange many more pictures to make sure that they look the way they say, and cam if you have any doubt.
My phones are also a part of my business and I am private about who I give my cell number to, and in the past, I have had a stalker or two, so I am one to take my time with the phone thing. I do however, want to meet someone in a decent time frame, if they live close enough, and I will suggest coffee or a drink within a week of meeting, if in my area. If at a distance, then all the more reason to share more pictures, cam, skype, on and on and get to know them, and then, once you do, your phone number should be shared privately and used that way.
cd | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 11:25:33 AM |
I have had a stalker or two,
c_deacon, you had a stalker!? that's awesome! wish i had one... no wait, I do, it's my credit card company. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 12:21:37 PM | | Thank u all for the feedback. Someone asked why the phone # so soon; I have sort of a sharp wit which can seem mean sometimes. I prefer talking so the person on the other end can tell I'm smiling. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 12:24:38 PM | I have sort of a sharp wit which can seem mean sometimes.
And do you use that sharp wit in your emails? You're right – the smiles may not be coming across. Or some guys might not care for it, smiles or not. If somebody seems mean, why stick around? | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 1:07:55 PM | | It's not always cynical, and there is no conspiracy. Over the years I've been given plenty of numbers, I fully meant to call. For one reason or another, I just never made it. Didn't know what to say, how to get started, pity party, not a good time etc. I probably have as many reasons I haven't called those numbers, as number I have been given. I'm just slow to get started... there's been a few that picked up on it, and pursued a relationship with me, I thank God for them. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 4:43:45 PM | OP, looks like you and BountyHunterMike called each other before taking those pics in matching shirts, lol.
No, you're not doing anything wrong and I tend to agree, the lack of a call may be a win win for you :) | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 4:54:24 PM | | As it has already been stated...you are doing things just fine and its there loss. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 5:08:18 PM | | The problem is with them, not you, if they don't call, I forget about them & move on. Some men here are big game players, or are married or have a live in g/f, & this is how they play their game. It makes them feel good to have a woman interested in them. Ignore the comments about giving out your phone number. This is a dating site, how else are you supposed to talk, & set up a meeting? If he has your cell number, & has to cancel the meet & greet, at the last minute, at least he can call & tell you! I would prefer that over being stood up! | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 5:17:32 PM | | I'm really at a loss on here. I have a post-graduate education and I'm getting rejected in favor of high school drop-outs. lol. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 5:19:09 PM | | Really the only thing anyone does wrong is pick the wrong people. How are you to know, though? The thing you can't, a profile isn't any indication. What you DO know is that they fall away on the follow through, which, in my book totally disqualifies them from any further attempts at contact. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 5:50:32 PM | | men r confused about cahsing/stalking, so u got encourage em mre, v femneinsts scared most men away frm persuing women. gl. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 6:12:03 PM |
men r confused about cahsing/stalking, so u got encourage em mre, v femneinsts scared most men away frm persuing women. gl.
tensail, WTH is it with you and the "feminists" everything boils down to that with you. God get over yourself. Let's blame women for the woes of the world. No wonder you are single and past 40. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 6:15:51 PM | | No! You are not doing anything wrong. You are just having a timing issue. I wouldn't blame myself or take it personal if people seem to fall of the face of the Earth after an initial contact. I would say more times than not, it has nothing to do with you what-so-ever. Guys and gals on single sites like POF are sending out or receiving several messages a week to prospective potentials. It is a huge network made up of many thousands of people. Something probably just worked out for those guys somewhere else before they could focus their whole attention on you- that's all. You were not rejected. It was just a matter of timing Dear! My only suggestion is to never make the suggestion of exchanging phone numbers, let him ask for your number after he has emailed you several times. Then you decide if he is worthy of your phone number or interest. And then he calls you- you don't call him. At least for a while. Nature has to take it's proper course! | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 6:18:26 PM | You have done nothing wrong they were idiots. I would suggest using a service that forwards calls to your phone.. rather than giving out your real phone number. That way just incase you got a freak you can just delete that number.
Ive never used this service but Lifahacker recommended it so give it a go.
http://www.ringshuffle.com/ | |
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| what am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:21:31 PM |
tensail, WTH is it with you and the "feminists" everything boils down to that with you. God get over yourself. Let's blame women for the woes of the world. No wonder you are single and past 40.
...You forgot the low EQ (most of his posts have that and feminism as the cause of the problem)
One day tensail will tell us why...
(he has been asked before on the Aussie forums) | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 6:24:14 PM | | Just the name of the game unfortunately. Best thing to do is just keep it moving and not dwell on failed attempts. I personally find that the faster it moves to a phone conversation/texting, the better. Messaging on here is way too tedious. Others don't feel the same as us I guess. | |
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