| | Speaking of celibacy, how soon would you want to know . . .Page 1 of 1 | . . . if a woman was waiting for marriage?
If a woman is saving herself for marriage, how soon do you think she should tell the guy? Should she flat out put it in her profile or wait until she gets to know someone a bit and see if there is long-term potential before sharing such a personal decision? Half of me would say it'd be kind of weird and presumptous to tell someone on a first date "Hey, just so you know, there's no access to the goods without a wedding ring." On the other hand, many guys would probably want to be "warned" (for lack of a better word) if their choice in life includes being intimate without making a marital committment.
So what's a guys perspective on this [not the choice to wait itself, let's be clear] - when to share that information? | |
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| Speaking of celibacy, how soon would you want to know . . .
Posted: 6/19/2012 12:50:55 PM | Touchy subject.
But it might be best to air it out there. Then you have a better shot at finding someone who is on the same page. It will be harder because there will be less available candidates for dating, but that comes with the territory.
There are many religion based online dating sites where this issue is common, someone who is against premarital sex might fit in better there. | |
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| Speaking of celibacy, how soon would you want to know . . .
Posted: 6/19/2012 12:51:09 PM | So what's a guys perspective on this [not the choice to wait itself, let's be clear] - when to share that information?
ASAP for less time-wastin on both sides, paste a postit note on yer forehead so that most every guy winkin' at ya can clearly see it and head the other way..
As another said, there are specialty sites where that may be considered more of a virtue than here.
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| Speaking of celibacy, how soon would you want to know . . .
Posted: 6/19/2012 1:06:31 PM | | I think she should put it in her profile. But, I think she should put it at the bottom of her profile after she's mentioned everything else that she wants to mention. That way, if he's already interested in contacting her, he'll not be put off by her mentioning that. | |
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| Speaking of celibacy, how soon would you want to know . . .
Posted: 6/19/2012 3:56:43 PM | I'm of the "wait until the subject comes up" mindset. Putting it on your profile is asking for trouble and can pretty much guarantee that no one will contact you. Why would they? They don't know you and aren't invested in you at all.
I think your best bet is to address the topic when it comes up in conversation...in person. This way, there's the possibility that the guy will have found you to be worth the wait...possibly. | |
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| Speaking of celibacy, how soon would you want to know . . .
Posted: 6/19/2012 5:51:45 PM |
If a woman is saving herself for marriage, how soon do you think she should tell the guy?
When spider webs begin to form around and bats fly out of her nether regions. I mean, give us some warning, please... | |
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| Speaking of celibacy, how soon would you want to know . . .
Posted: 6/19/2012 5:55:15 PM |
Speaking of celibacy, how soon would you want to know . . . if a woman was waiting for marriage?
IME every woman I ever dated that said/believed this either
1. made it absolutely clear via her beliefs or her behavior without ever having to tell me directly that she was waiting for marriage.
2. Gave up that idea because it's really not defensible.
If a woman is saving herself for marriage, how soon do you think she should tell the guy? Should she flat out put it in her profile or wait until she gets to know someone a bit and see if there is long-term potential before sharing such a personal decision?
IME it really doesn't matter. There are pros and cons to them all.
No matter how you do it, it's going to back fire with someone.
1. Flat out tell them - seen as controlling.
2. Wait to tell them - seen as lying, or they pick it up indirectly and drop you and you don't know the reason why.
presumptous to tell someone on a first date "Hey, just so you know, there's no access to the goods without a wedding ring."
Not only that, but you are pretty much commoditizing your vagina from their perspective...if you care.
Plus all the people that are anti player players that have convinced themselves they are "nice" guys, and actually want relationships, will be drawn to you like flies to honey, because you validate their false self image. So you will get into a lot of pseudo relationships that end in tears and drama.
So what's a guys perspective on this [not the choice to wait itself, let's be clear] - when to share that information?
It doesn't matter.
No matter how you share it, there will be problems.
There are no guarantees.
The only way it's really going to "work" is if you simply live it, at best talk about it when it's a natural part of conversation, and discuss it in hindsight. | |
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