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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?      Home login  
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 Azream
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 1
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Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Looking back, I'm starting to regret the fact that I never got into the whole dating thing back when I was young. I was the type to always had my face in the books, playing video games, or drawing and making animations. Because I haven't indulged into the art of dating when I was young, I feel like I have missed some crucial dating knowledge and experience which would have carried over through adolescence, ultimately making me more susceptible to successful dates. I regret the fact that instead of having a girlfriend, I was building websites and databases at the age of 13. In addition to that, and I know it's pretty silly, but I actually skipped the Highschool Prom.... lol. Boy, do I regret that. Even if I didn't have a date, I now feel that I still should have gone as it was one of those once-in-a-lifetime type events. Although, with regards to dating, I don't think it's because I felt I couldn't do it. I believe it's simply because I had no interest in doing it.

Anyhow, /pof/, is it really that bad to have never asked or been asked to go on a date in high school? Am I doomed for never having acquired such experience?

Arigato~
 JonnyHighHair
Joined: 1/6/2009
Msg: 2
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/19/2012 10:16:14 PM
I can mostly relate to what you're feeling, but I like to think that a lack of experience is better than bad experiences, and it's easier to learn new lessons than to unlearn bad ones. I hope that makes sense.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 3
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Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:01:03 AM
I don't know about "normal" but, I very rarely went out with just "a girl" on my nights out during highschool. I was into sports, drinking,partying, and having a good time, and when I went out, it was with people. Usually quite a few people, but not one person in particular.
Lots of people where in the same boat. Having friends,but not one particular friend,going "steady" or whatever you wanna define it as. I still think it's actually the best way to go for the young ones. High school is not the time to gain an anchor.
 smarternudumbernmost
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 4
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:11:48 AM

Anyhow, /pof/, is it really that bad to have never asked or been asked to go on a date in high school?

No.
In every teen movie there are always characters that never dated in high school.
Remember Weird Science? They had to create a girl. Then they magically acquired girlfriends and love.
Movies tend to try and create characters their audience will relate to, and give them their fantasy.
Lots of people didn't date in high school, it didn't hurt them.


I feel like I have missed some crucial dating knowledge and experience which would have carried over through adolescence

You could also see it as having missed creating bad behavioral or dating habits in your formative years based in large part on hormones that would carry on and affect you now, making dating even more difficult.


it's pretty silly, but I actually skipped the Highschool Prom

Me too. I had a job. My best friend didn't. He got drunk, a hotel room, laid, left the used condoms in a bag in my mailbox, and never saw her again.
Some rituals really are meaningless now.


I now feel that I still should have gone as it was one of those once-in-a-lifetime type events.

You could take out a second mortgage on your home, hire a bunch of hookers, and recreate the prom.
That would be a once-in-a-lifetime event too.
You will never be 16 again, or 24, or 20, or 2.
You will never have to relearn potty training.
It's not the first time people get laid, college is the new high school, far fewer people are meeting their mates in high school anymore, 25, maybe 30, is the new 18 (socially, possibly mentally, rather than legally).
It really has lost it's relevance as a ritual to denote a right of passage and anymore is simply a tradition.
 pitufina_77
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 5
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Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:42:28 AM
I didn't.

I was busy doing what I was supposed to do, ie, study, obtain good grades and an education.

I look back on those years, when I was the ugly unwanted nerdy of the class, and I don't regret anything.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 6
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:21:14 AM
Yes you are doomed.

Very doomed indeed. But not for having missed those experiences. Who cares about them. The problem is that you are living your life through "regrets", thinking that some how it would have given you some magic bullet that would solve all your current predicaments. You are so wrong there. Be happy that you spend your youth being happy and slightly naive, instead of having the problems that most other teens had.

What you need to do is realize that if you live in the past, you will stay in the past. If you live through regret, you will continue to regret. Start thinking what is it that you would like to do or enjoy. Look at yourself and ask what social skills are you lacking. Why? What makes you think that there's some magic won that will now turn you into some super social thing? THERE's not. You start by first get in your mind that you want to be different. Then start with the obvious. Get books that address this. Get the Dale Carnaguie book. If you think you are spending too much time indoors, go out doors!!! Pick up beach volleyball, bowling, kajaking, cycling, running, whatever puts you out there meeting people that do the same. If sports are not your thing. Look at what you are good at and find those with the same interest and meet them in person. Even hang out at bookstores!!

Get out of your comfort zone. Realize that the first thing to change is YOUR thinking and then everything else IS possible.
 grantfl80
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 7
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 10:52:48 AM
Oh man, yes it is horrible that you didn't date in high school! It's probably the reason you're on POF now! I know everything I ever did or didnt do in high school completely dictates who and what I am today in my 30s. Get real, dude.

G
 newonthescene76
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 8
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Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:01:53 AM
You're 24 years old. Why are you worrying about what you did or didn't do in high school? Move on.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 9
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:12:23 AM
No it's not bad... just different. Some of the experiences people got they have to unlearn anyways; so you get to move forward without any switching gears :)
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 10
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:17:08 AM
Realize something else. Many of those geeks that were working, studying, developing a career, making money, making something of themselves eventually found themselves some very cool chick that liked them and loved them for what they were.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 11
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Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:34:48 AM
I never dated in high school, and although I was asked to prom I didn't go either. I had no interest in guys at that point in my life, and I don't regret it one bit. I don't consider it "weird" either. I think I'm better off for it.
 InMyOwnTime25
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 12
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:45:09 AM
I don't think it matters if you didn't date in high school. Some people I know didn't. A few people I know didn't even date in college. If you walk around talking about your lack of experience all the time, it could hurt, but if you don't say much about it, how would your potential date even know? If they ask about high school relationships, just say you were focused on other things (studying, hobbies) and never got into anything serious, mostly just went out in groups (the group thing saves you from them thinking 'nothing serious' means you just boned every girl who walked by but didn't have a relationship).
 GodsChild750
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 13
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 12:58:10 PM
I think it's great that you didn't date in highschool. It gave you time to focus on what was most important at that time.. school. Many people dont even consider the people that they dated any highschool as real boyfriends/girlfriends. Once you become an adult you realize it was all very different.
 seven15
Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 14
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 1:55:51 PM
If you went to my high school you wouldn't have dated the girls there either.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 15
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 1:59:26 PM
We're not the same people we were then, so any "experiences" gleaned back in H.S. wouldn't be applicable today anyway.
I went to the Prom (with a date.) Wish I skipped it or went solo. Ya didn't miss a THANG.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 16
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:21:07 PM

In addition to that, and I know it's pretty silly, but I actually skipped the Highschool Prom.... lol.


Lol, I didn't date at all in highschool, then again I had a girlfriend (for 3 months) longest relationship ever, on the flip side though these relationships aren't really real in the first place. Lol, I'll one up you on the no prom thing, I didn't didn't do any "senior"activities, grad night, skip day, graduation( got my diploma in the mail), no senior pictures, lol there's a blank spot in the year book for me, like I'm a ghost. The only thing I regret back then was I didn't transfer to the right school for the subjects I was interested in. Damn come to think about it, I didn't go to college graduation either. I felt like you did, none of that pageantry sh&^ was significant to me, at the time running around in the streets were more important and working.

To answer your question, I don't think it's weird because I did it. Some things work for people, some things don't.
 blueceleste
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 17
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Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:27:29 PM
i can relate as well. in high school, i didnt date but i wanted too because my moron of a mother claim i couldnt date at 16 it was 18 and that isn't true it was 16. good thing i didnt bring boys over because she would have scared them with no teeth and her rude nasty attitude towards people. i was called a lesbian back then because i didnt have a bf granted i do love women but i have a bf now. i would have loved to dated someone if that was an option for me in hs but it wasn't.

all my friends dated but me. i was always out having fun and playing video games still do to this day. no one in high school could prove i was a lesbian but only an ex friend of mine knew i liked girls just didnt have a gf. i barely had any crushes on anybody well maybe like 1-2 and never pursued it because i know what kind of humiliation i would get if i would have confessed.

so yea, i lacked a lot of experience from not dating back then and would have done online dating very differently if i had dates back then.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 18
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Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:14:14 PM
for women it is different, most like here did not want to date or did not date for personal reason, guys on ther hand do and did wan to date, never knew a guy who did not want to date in HS.

I was one of those short ugly glasses wearing pencil kneck geeks that no girl wanted, i tried hard to date even with just other geek female friends I was told it would be bad to be seen with me, it would lower their worth with other guys, not that it was high anyhow, never had a date or a kiss or an I like you in school,.
My prom date was my cousin, she was hot, everyone was amazed that a cute girl even talked to me, later that night I was being laughed at and embarrassesdas my cousin was making out with another guy at the dance floor then they knew she was my cousin, it was humiliating , I was told I could not even go out with a live girl, oh those times I miss them.

Dide, do not dwell on the past dwell on today, even though my memories are pretty bad I cherish them and laugh at them like a bad funny movie, my high school reunion was a table turning event for me, I saw alot of messed up people mentally, physically, economically. I came out smelling like roses and most were amazed and jealous pon how my life came out compared to them, will not go into the details.

Live for now , do not dwell in the past be better today and tomorrow, yesterday is just an experience bad or good, it makes what you are now. It is not bad never been kissed or not having a date in high school.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 19
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:12:16 PM
I went to an all girls school all my life, and I never had a boyfriend in my teen years as I was not the hot chick that boys wanted nor would I put out, just to be popular. So no. Once I went to Europe though, whole different ballgame.
 Fadedrainbow
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 20
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Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:04:51 PM
Its not normal but I think it is more for guys than girls. I dont know any girls who didnt date i started at 14 and never stopped although in college all the men i dated who were lovely guys never dated in high school so I guess its not so bad to be a late starter
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 21
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:56:03 PM
Boy, do I regret that. Even if I didn't have a date, I now feel that I still should have gone as it was one of those once-in-a-lifetime type events. Although, with regards to dating, I don't think it's because I felt I couldn't do it. I believe it's simply because I had no interest in doing it.

You regret not doing something you had no interest in doing?
Do you also feel this way when you see a herd of cattle?

If I were you, I'd focus on the idea that while everyone else was doing the usual, you were doing the unusual.
That's a selling point to me--not a mark against you.
But if I was on a date with you, I'd probably see it in the dim light that you present it, not the bright way that it *could* be presented.
 GurugiGets
Joined: 6/1/2012
Msg: 22
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:23:56 PM
When I read the topic it reminded me of me. I like that. I've always preferred me over silly high school girls who don't like nerds.

Actually, I had sexy rocker hair in the 80's and carried a tube of engineering plans around school all day. Once school was out, I went home and tended to my video game vending business, which meant, I got to drive around town and collect my cash from the bellies of my 43 classic arcade games. Girls weren't interested in me when they had cheer practice and after school shopping to do. It wasn't until I graduated that one my female friends arranged a date with this pretty blonde cheerleader who was into brown guys with money and nice smiles. I always lent out my games to friends so they could have fun on the weekends but wasn't interested in attending the social events for more than a hour or so.

High school can be so... Ew. I ran into my HS team mate in Vegas while we were sitting having breakfast in a tiny casino cafe last week. I was nice about his recognizing me and it took a few minutes for me to place him. But when I did, all I thought about was what a nuisance he was to me during football practice.

Sounds like you need to go out and experience your first 2000. hooker and get all that other garbage out of your mind.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 23
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:10:37 AM
Sounds like you missed out on a couple of things, OP. Prom night might have become a nice memory had you gone. But as far as once-in-a-lifetime experiences – I don’t think it’s a closely held and cherished memory for everyone, not one that has much impact on their happiness after a few years.

I suspect it may carry some symbolic value for you though. You weren’t dating at that time and now you’re considering what else you might have missed. You did indeed miss out on some experiences, and you missed out on gaining certain social skills from that dating experience, but otherwise I don’t think prom night is all that significant, in and of itself. And, by the way, not everyone’s experience of prom night was golden.

Consider what you can do now about some of your perceived deficits of experience. And consider the assets you have accumulated as well. You’re a handsome young man with talents in several areas – technical, musical, intellectual to name a few. And your life is relatively drama-free.

A woman who shares your faith might very well appreciate your kind of maturity and personal responsibility and be not-at-all dismayed that your breadth of experience in the world of sex, love and dating is less than exhaustive, or that your 'meeting-women' skills are less than smooth and masterful.

And I hasten to add, you are far from alone in that level of experience. Even at twenty-four, many young people have dated very little. They just don’t make the news.

My advice would be to let your natural sincere self shine through in your meetings with women. Learning to listen attentively without pushing any particular agenda of your own will net you much positive experience and understanding, and probably some female appreciation as well. Just being yourself will provide them with much good company. It's a good place to start. G’luck


by the way – your screen name here… maybe find something that trips a little more pleasingly off the tongue? Could just be me, but Azream just doesn't 'sound' like you.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 24
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:51:18 AM

Looking back, I'm starting to regret the fact that I never got into the whole dating thing back when I was young


I was busy studying.
Since in retrospect, it didnt have much impact anyways, I should have bangned more teenagers
 BlackJacket87
Joined: 4/13/2010
Msg: 25
Is it normal to not have dated in highschool?
Posted: 6/21/2012 11:29:20 AM
Before I became this embodiment of black godliness (+20 BS points), I dated very little in high school even being the most socially awkward, bi-polar kid in the school (-10 BS points). It was interesting to say the least, and the worst dates and girlfriends I've had in my life. I didn't go to prom because I was B-R-O-K-E and I wasn't one of those kids other kids want to see at prom (frankly because half of them avoided me because of the bi-polar thing). When I look back, the only thing I regretted is that I dated when I really wasn't ready, and definitely would've held out to grow up and deal with my issues more when I became more mature. Some of my friends who haven't dated more or less did regret it, but I tell them from experience "you didn't miss much."
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