| | No reply or polite refusal?Page 1 of 1 | Guys, if you message a women and she's not interested, do you prefer she didn't reply at all, or would you rather a polite "Thanks, but we're not a match" so you know sooner rather than later?
I've done both and based on the reactions I've gotten, I'm not sure which is more respectful. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:16:44 PM | | Well, it hurts to get a message back saying something negative like "i'm not interested"... but, it's definitely worse waiting on a reply and NOTHING. Definitely prefer the "not interested" reply, I'd say. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:17:33 PM | | Speaking personally, I'd rather you just not reply. I don't handle rejection well. You can ignore me (i.e., not reply), and I'll merely hate your guts for a week or so. If you reply with some well-crafted rejection... I'll loathe your existence on my planet and gleefully wish you ill for years (perhaps forever). Either way, I'm not going to think happy thoughts about you. Just do a block and delete, and move on. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:18:20 PM | | Try a forum search on 'replies' 'no replies' 'responses' 'not interested' etc and you will find a million threads on this topic that will give you every possible answer to your question. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:19:54 PM | | No matter what you do, there are gonna be meatbags who take it personally and get mad at you for not-responding/rejecting. You're better off saving time and just not replying. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:24:17 PM | Better to get a response over wondering for days and days and thinking.....what did I do wrong!
How hard is it to be kind and say thank you but no thank you and I wish you be best with your fishing in this pond?
cd | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:27:00 PM | Since I have gotten some really rude "I'm not interested" replies, I now prefer no reply at all if they aren't interested. But I have gotten a few, "thanks but no thanks" too which I can deal with. Either way I wasn't what the woman wanted. The problem with no reply at all is you don't know if she even read your email. Some guys will get their feeling hurt if you email them back but aren't interested, then send you a rude email but I think most guys are just happy you replied and let them know so they can continue searching for the right woman for them.
No reply or polite refusal, either is better than being rude or blocking someone, IMO. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:32:21 PM | The problem with no reply at all is you don't know if she even read your email.
Horsehockey. Check "sent messages" and note when it was read. If it still shows "unread" after a week or two, to Hell with her, move on. If she reads it, there'll be a date/time. If you didn't get a reply after she read it... to Hell with her, move on. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:00:41 PM |
Horsehockey. Check "sent messages" and note when it was read. If it still shows "unread" after a week or two, to Hell with her, move on. If she reads it, there'll be a date/time. If you didn't get a reply after she read it... to Hell with her, move on.
Only works for upgraded members.
Though I do enjoy a bit o' horse hockey... | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:04:25 PM | | The nickname-for-Richard-ens you say. Well, Hell. Okay then. "I was wrong." (Which in this case, I really was wrong and I'm not just saying the words -- not at all like when I was married and said it.) | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:16:58 PM | | My feelings aren't hurt either way. I don't reply to girls I'm not interested in, so I suppose I expect the girls I message to do the same. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:25:06 PM | | i prefer to be sent a marriage proposal. no better way to get rid of me without hurting my feelings. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:35:01 PM | No reply works fine for me.
If someone replies I assume it's because they are interested in me and want to talk further. Plus when you send a rejection to them it becomes an open invitation for them to try to combat further with questions like "Why aren't you interested" and such so they can try to convince you otherwise.
The only times I really send polite rejections are when they have tried more than once which has happened. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:53:28 PM |
Well, it hurts to get a message back saying something negative like "i'm not interested"... but, it's definitely worse waiting on a reply and NOTHING.
Do people really wait on replies and if so, why? Either someone will respond with interest or not - don't people who get replies get kind of bummed out when they realize it's a no? Send a message, and then forget about it and keep browsing profiles. If it's gonna happen, they'll find you. I'd rather only people who are interested respond to me.
OP, it doesn't matter which one you choose. It's not your job to worry about how others take your response (or lack of it). Both mean "no", clearly. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:01:08 PM | | If you're getting too many messages from guys you're not interested in, try hiding your profile. Then you control who you initiate contact with. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:14:18 PM | An initial message on an internet dating site is best left with no reply. I have gotten a couple of not interested replies, and was fine with them both, I thought it was good manners and I had a great deal of respect for the responder for that, but either way, no reply, or rejection message, we're no going to meet, so it doesn't matter.
LOL I did get one rejection reply back that flamed me for contacting her. That was funny. She had said so much in her profile about her sense of humor and how twisted it was, so I sent her a taste of my twisted sense of humor. LOL. Bottom line, she had no sense of humor, and I ended up blocking her before she blew up on me again. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:22:02 PM | | When it comes to responding to your messages, don't worry about being respectful or nice or anything like that. Everyone on this site is a little too sensitive in my opinion. You are not obligated to reply to anyone. Personally, it would be nice to receive a pleasant rejection, but I wouldn't be expecting one if the person wasn't interested. All that does is encourage that person to send you more messages, asking why you aren't interested or just throwing insults your way. Keep in mind that words are just words. No matter what you decide to do, you probably will receive hate mail from some of those guys anyway. The best thing to do is ignore them. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:42:52 PM | | I try to get a "read" from the profile and if I think they won't go off on a nasty rant, I'll send a short not interested. I've been wrong a few times....haha. | |
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| No reply or polite refusal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:18:25 PM | I'm not replying if I'm not interested.
I had a woman mssg me whom I wasn't attracted to and she had kids, etc. Just not a match, but her profile explicitly said, "It's rude and immature for people to not respond to mssgs." Heaven forbid I be rude or immature, so I responded with the "thanks, but I think we are seeking different things." She took it as an opportunity to lash out at me that I didn't know what I was talking about, yada yada...
So yeah, that really solidified my choice to not respond any longer if not interested in any way. Sheesh. People is weird. | |
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