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|Hey, so I have been chatting to a guy for about a month off and on, but, he does not start the conversations and his answers are short and time spaced. Should I spend any more time on him? I really like him and when he atcually does get into a conversation he is sweet, charming and funny. I don't know how to read him.|
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:00:29 PM
|Good questions. From my experience, it seems most men on the site are like that. They certainly do enjoy being chased, that's for sure.|
Posted: 6/26/2012 1:18:10 AM
|It reminds me of a book I've never read: "He's just not that into you."|
If he was, you'd be dating by now.
Reason as I say this is that you have already broken the ice, there is conversation, but he's seems "busy" (busy chatting with other women?) and he hasn't actually asked you out for anything.
I understand you may like him, but that's all moot if its not mutual.
Posted: 6/26/2012 4:37:40 PM
|Wouldn't be nice though if either or (cuz I'm sure it can be said the other way around too) would simply come out and tell the other they aren't interested/don't see any potential/connection?|
Posted: 6/27/2012 11:26:39 AM
Wouldn't be nice though if either or (cuz I'm sure it can be said the other way around too) would simply come out and tell the other they aren't interested/don't see any potential/connection?
Yes, that would be nice, however it rarely happens. The one usually strings the other along while they are 'busy' checking out the rest of the field. The one will only become chatty with the other once they are sure that the one is the best they can get at the time. It's sad and it's shameful and right now the women outnumber the men here so it's the ladies who are kept dangling.
Get smarter with the process, maintain a distance and keep your composure, if he's worth it he'll come out of his 'shell' and respond more. If not, you check out the field yourself and cast a larger net.
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:37:47 PM
|i've had the same opinion as fauz basically from the time i first seen this topic, however my bluntness can often be mistaken for rudeness and i could not think of as polite a way to word that opinion as he did. |
I also agree that yes this world would be a better place if more people had the ability to simply say "i'm sorry but i'm not interested" ... however most people lack the "stuff" to be that honest. I'm not sure why some feel it is a better option to continue stringing a person along when they have no intentions of building a life with that person, this is a huge reason why i have become so discouraged with dating in recent years. many of us are quality people who deserve better than to simply be kept in the back pocket in case something better dosn't come along, i for one have no desire to be the "back up person" who will "do in a pinch" or who will do if the other one they really want dosn't happen to be available on that specific day or whatever the case may be.
if they are interested, they will let you know, and if they dont you deserve better.
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:51:41 PM
|I can certainly understand that some people just don't like being/playing the "bad guy" by coming out and saying they are not interested. Let's face it, no one likes to be told that. I do appreciate it though when I am told that, for whatever their reasons are, at least they are honest and up front about it.|
Everyone is entitled to being happy. :)
Posted: 6/27/2012 9:56:49 PM
|I am unfortunately too honest. But then again, why give someone a false sense of attraction and have them think "Hey this person talks to me often, he/she must be interested" and get their hopes up when on the other side of the screen the other person know it will not go anywhere. Be honest but BE NICE about it. It's very simple. Lord knows i have messaged dozens of attractive ladies on here and never got so much as a "Thanks for the compliment, but i am seeking a different type of guy" reply. And being ignored hurts far more than being told thank you but no thank you. |
I think of it this way, if a woman was nice/interested enough to take time from her life to send me a message the least i can do is thanks her and reply. Lord knows i ain't worth many words from many girls on here. And usually with me we end up chatting after i admit there is no attraction. :)
Posted: 6/29/2012 11:20:46 PM
|Yeah, I would definitely agree that it doesn't seem like he is that into you. Don't waste your time .. next.|
Posted: 7/4/2012 4:22:58 PM
|not so true "Finch_Mctn.|
From this forum post, you caught my eye. I sent you a brief message, and after waiting for a few days now, I've received nothing.
Your own words were: "I think of it this way, if a woman was nice/interested enough to take time from her life to send me a message the least i can do is thanks her and reply"
I thought you were cute, but there's no excuse for rude, or conceited...
Posted: 7/8/2012 10:10:36 PM
|I posted a reply on the forum....but decided to reply in person as to not give others the false sense of whom you are like you have done for me......check your messages...|
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:27:12 AM
|my apologies for calling you out on this in a public forum. my bad. good luck in your fishing.|
Posted: 7/10/2012 6:29:12 PM
|I have been watching this thread for a bit and Gillyb I hate to say this but I have to agreewith the majority here as my good friends all stated it is time to let that sukka go....lol. There are plenty of fishies in the pond and you do not need someone who cannot make time to initate contact. If he was interested he would email or ibm. The sad part is that he couldn;t be up front with you and kept you hanging, and womdering.|
You are a beautiful woman and the right one is out somewhere but this is a good testing ground to determine what you can live with and cannot live without, or whether we consider acceptable and non acceptable. Life is a journey of self discovery and those who learned from failures are truly the winners.
Keep smiling and it is nice to see new faces on the forums, Welcome,
Also Thank you Moncton_finch for not derailing thos thread and keeping it on track and to both of you for not starting a flaming war.
Posted: 7/11/2012 8:50:38 PM
|Thx..it was settled like adults in private. I am glad we did also as no use having dislikes towards someone you do not know yet LOL|
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:16:21 PM
|Just a little research i been doing, as i like to see human interaction. Since my initial post on the 06/27 i have messaged 23 women in total on POF. Now not to hit on them, or be rude, or suck up. But just simply say a generic message that i thoroughly enjoyed their photos and they look wonderful. ONLY ONE WOMAN SAID THANK YOU AND CHATTED WITH ME. ALL THE OTHERS DIDN'T EVEN SAY THANKS, THANK YOU OR EVEN A SCREW OFF FATSO. I dunno..think it's time to leave POF....seems too many super models and girls looking for guys from the movie Magic Mike on here.....|
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:56:15 AM
I did about the same thing back in 2009 when I got frustrated to the lack of replies on here.. I took a long night of messaging 50 different ladies from around Moncton, wrote them nice messages related to their profiles and whatnot. and then waited.
If I recall correctly, about 42 of those messages came back as read/deleted (it was showing that back then), 4 of the messages came back as unread deleted, I received 3 replies and the last one stayed unread forever
Now, 2 of the three messages were useless like "thanks" or something as such.. the other person I found out was answering just to be nice in general.. after a few proper messages being replied with very few words I was like meh.
As part 2 of my test. I got my sister to sign up on here. She received over 250 messages in just over a week. I sat there and read most of those messages and I was pissed.
Apparently, any remotely attractive women on here get slaughtered by messages day in day out. and they are not the very useful kind.
So basically, they have more than enough choice and most of them prove to be garbage men.. and in turns it ruins the fun for the better guys on here.
One of my female friend said that her friend has pretty much turned into a very conceited little princess after receiving this much attention.. and it seems to affect a LOT of those women.
As an addition to this post, I have met very nice women on here.. but 90% of the time they are more interested in staying on this website and getting tons of other messages instead of putting any efforts towards settling down for someone.
I have also been on this site many times since 2009, i deleted my profile quite a few times and there are some ladies on here who have been seen on here every single time I came back.
Posted: 7/14/2012 9:05:53 AM
|Now as a reply for gillyb1987|
As far as I can tell, people who are willing to meet you will do so rather promptly..
My personal experiences is that if you do not meet them in the first 2 weeks, most likely not gonna happen.
Also, from talking to quite a bit of different people on here, it seems to be that the longer you wait before meeting, the less likely it is to happen. (I'd say from my experiences definitely true)
Of course everyone is different and we cannot generalize
Posted: 7/14/2012 12:04:58 PM
|wow konietzko you have summed this site up in a nut shell. it happens on the other side of the coin too, because there are sooo very many of the type of women you describe on here, attention hoes shall we call them, who dont seem to see anything wrong with letting a guy use them for an hour, or a night and then move on to the next, it has created a site full of guys who now seem to feel it is acceptable to treat all women in such a cheap and meaningless fashion. .... for us "good people with genuine intentions" on this site, both male and female, it makes our fishing pond rather small. more often than not any potential suitors with genuine intentions either live hours away, or if they do happen to be local usually have interests so far on the other end of the spectrum of your own that compatibility is almost impossible|
hmmm....perhaps its just that red is getting a little frustrated and loosing hope that this place has anything good to offer LOL.
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:48:21 PM
|But..on i must say on the women side. My roommate is on here, she is a 36 year old voluptuous female who is a blast to hang with and is an absolute cutie. She "use" to get bombarded by absolute pig men. The things these guy would say or lead to immediately would make me grumpy. So, a lot of guys on here make it harder for us guys who are generally nice guys.|
I would say i am about 80 percent fed up with this site. Too many people here not very serious about "Meeting or friendship" as their description says and just want to be here for the attention. I have been talking to a person in Fredericton for quite some time now, we have not had perfect timing to meet but it will happen soon, we are both making a viable attempt. And if it doesn't pan out i do believe i will take a break from the drama and BS of POF.
Posted: 7/15/2012 3:06:03 PM
|I would like to say I agree with you finch mctn,,,,I am not a bashful person, but some emails I have received in past were disgusting.|
I do also agree it makes it harder for the nice ones, and they don't generally stick around long.
On another note, non related to this thread,finch mctn I think that first pic of you is adorable. I couldn't message you to tell you that.
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:27:43 PM
|Why not? I don't bite..............hard|