| | cheating wife ???? now im here Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | Ya 11 year marriage is done. Now I am here, funny thing is I never cheated on her, I was blown away when I found out, it's been 10 months of trying but it's not going to work. Any advice? What do I do now???? | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/22/2012 10:42:26 PM | Hi Jimmy--
sorry about your marriage
Enjoy the forums for a while before you start dating... | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/22/2012 10:44:51 PM | | ive had girlfriends cheating on me. it happens...funny thing is...it was with a man 30 years older than me | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:27:52 PM |
try not to lose half of everything you own to her in the divorce. They were married for 10 years - he only owns half of it anyway. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:34:29 PM | I dated immediately after my divorce. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was what they call emotionally unavailable. You probably are too. It was a bit selfish on my part to enter in the dating pool at that time. I thought I was ready, but time showed me I was not. When I finally realized it. I took myself out of the pool. I felt I owed an apology to anyone I had dated during that time.
Give yourself some time alone to heal. It can take awhile. For everybodies sake. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:41:23 PM | | I'm okay with losing the half, just want to start over. I hear you on the dating advice, I'm Going to take it slow. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 12:35:14 AM |
gcdeb: youre gonna have to explain that one to me. does that mean anything he owned before they were married then became hers?
Not trying to hijack the thread but good question.
As for the cheating wife (if you can call her that). If she was cheating IMO she shouldn't get anything from the divorce. Isn't that what women get told when the husband is cheating? I think the marriage was null and void when she cheated on him. If she really valued everything she shouldn't have cheated on him. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 3:26:03 AM | | No, I'm not going to drag the thread off topic with a subject that has been debated to the ends of the earth already. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 3:49:01 AM | | Give yourself some time to work through this before you jump into anything else, even if it doesn't materialize. People don't realize when they enter rebound relationships, that they not only hurt themselves, but they drag everybody else into their mess. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 3:59:15 AM | I divorced my wife on the grounds that she had a serious problem with her legs, most of you will think that it is cruel. Her problem was keeping them closed while I was away.
The best advice I can give is that a fundamental part of any relationship it trust, she has abused that in the worst possible way. Draw a line under it, remember the good times and move on. Everything happens for a reason, me personally I have made some really good friends that I would never have met otherwise.
With my past I firmly believe that everyday is a good day and life is there to be enjoyed, just saying :) | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 4:23:04 AM |
Ya 11 year marriage is done. Now I am here, funny thing is I never cheated on her, I was blown away when I found out, it's been 10 months of trying but it's not going to work. Any advice? What do I do now????
You've already done it.
You've decided you're worth more than being crapped on from a great height.
Now your task is to shuffle it all about in your head so you don't end up like one of these people who panic about the red dot next to the green chat thing meaning so-and-so's talking to someone else on the IM facility and that means the end of human interaction as we know it.
So, what did you miss in your ex-wife's psyche in the past 11 years that would have lead you to realise that she was capable of screwing you arse backwards? What part did you play in the dynamics? Not to say that you're to blame for your own abuse, but working out what you missed would be invaluable to you in the future. | |
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knt3
| | Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 13 | |
| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 4:25:58 AM | | All you can do is go through the divorce, child support thing and get on with building a new life. It's a process...doesn't all come together in one day. | |
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A_Gent
| | Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 15 | |
| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 4:29:44 AM | | Well, bud! Painful though it will be, it can also be a time of huge personal growth if you are willing to look into yourself as well as your ex's faults. And if you have to go through all this... you can turn it into an adventure and time of renewal. Be an interesting person by doing interesting things and you are more likely to meet other interesting people. Get your baggage sorted out and zipped up and stored neatly in the corner, instead of being spread all or carrying it around with you.... BEFORE you have any intention of finding a committed relationship again. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 4:39:40 AM |
Any advice? What do I do now????
1. Get your divorce going
2. Don't be surprised if women are not enthusiastic about dating separated men
3. Try to get your head around the fact that not ALL women are cheaters
4. Try not to become bitter.
Good luck!  | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 6:19:10 AM | If it cant be fixed, accept the reality ,find someone else ,
unless you want to sign a contract with worry again , good luck | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 6:51:42 AM |
1. Get your divorce going
2. Don't be surprised if women are not enthusiastic about dating separated men
3. Try to get your head around the fact that not ALL women are cheaters
4. Try not to become bitter.
I'm in the same boat as you with the cheating ex-wife and Kayla58 is right on all four points. Even if you're about as emotionally divorced to your ex as can be unless your status is divorced be prepared for not a lot of women being interested in that. I'm learning that quite quickly. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:28:18 AM | Spend a lot of time alone, and reflect on things - trying to avoid this won't work and you'll need to do it to move on, so just deal with it. When you really enjoy being alone to the point where you look forward to it and find it peaceful, you're ready to start dating.
If at any point you feel yourself dating because you don't want to be alone, stop immediately and postpone it, that's a sign you're still reacting to your old environment, and what's happened. Instead, do something for someone else - help a friend who needs it, volunteer for an organization, be a big brother or something similar. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:37:00 AM | | First thank god ...you got rid of that cheating? ________, now date a woman who respects you. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:47:42 AM | Okay, so you tried for 10 months and now you realize it's over and you are on here.
Here's my advice. It's free, so remember that.
What you do is you get your divorce.
You give yourself time to heal from this.
You rediscover who YOU are as a single person.
Finally?
You put off dating until all the above are in order.
I had a very dear friend tell me that it would take at least 2 years to be ready to date AFTER the divorce was finalized. He said even if you were separated for 2 years it isn't until the divorce is finalized you start the process (because it is a process). Gosh, was he right. Not everyone heals at that pace, some take longer, others a shorter amount of time.
Take your time and enjoy the forums. They're fun. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:51:24 AM | heart breaking isn't it??
take some time to heal. More importantly, rediscover yourself. This is your best opportunity for growth,and refinement. forget dating, and start looking within. the things that make you happy. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:21:16 AM | | Sorry,man!just lay low and lick your wounds for now.Take some time for yourself and think about what you want to do.Don,t worry about dating just yet. | |
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| cheating wife ???? now im here
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:29:08 AM | I agree with NHRA... Nice car OP.
My guy has a 1969 442.. In saffron yellow. It is a nice ride. He isn't sure if he is keeping it yet....lol.
As for your question you just have to live life day by day. Put on foot in front of another and not dwell in the past. | |
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