| | Should I go for dating or GFE escortPage 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | I'm soon turning 26 years old and still a virgin, currently a junior a in college. I would like to enjoy sex like every other guys does, however, I'm considering of just using an escort. My friend is like no just go for dating escort is bad and risky because I can get into serious trouble. As for dating goes I never been on a single date my entire life, so I have no dating experience and don't know how to get a date. I don't even know how to flirt. I think the most common reason why I had never dated is because I never go out and try and I realize that is the biggest problem. My reason for not trying is because I still currently living with my mom, but I'm looking for a more steady job because the one I have now is mostly on call. It's hard to find a job to fit your school schedule and jobs are just not as readily available in this economy. This lack of not being on my own I feel it will always cause me to get rejected for a date/relationship if I were to try. I would get out of school faster but school is expensive especially if its a4 year university like I'm attending, I have goals and I know I will accomplish them.
If I use a escort I can have intimate connection without have to worry of her judging me because I live at home. I know using a escort is bad though for some people but when you lacking intimacy pretty much all through your 20's, it hurts and makes me realize I'm missing some of the affection in my life.
What you men would do if you were in my position, go for dating or escort? | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/23/2012 7:45:57 PM | | My advice dude is go for dating. Escorts are very risky, don't do it bro. Keep trying dating sites, and maybe meeting girls at school. Most people won't hold it against you bro that you live at home. Times are really bad economically, not your fault dude. Don't be so hard on yourself dude, nothing wrong with being a virgin. You'll find the right girl, it all takes time dude. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:35:37 PM | | I know you asked for a man's opinion, but the reason you can't get a date is you have no confidence. dating is nerve wrecking and I think you should try just being friends with some girls first to get comfortable, then just ask one out. Rejection is a part of life and being scared of it is useless. | |
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kja71
| | Joined: 12/21/2011
Msg: 4 | |
| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:09:53 PM | | Get a real date to lose the big V.....Do you wanna go for the rest of your life and remember that you had to pay someone to lose it and that it meant nothing????????? Seems like a no-brainer to me. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:30:14 PM | | I would date, but the issue is me living at home as I feel that will ruin my chances to date anyone unless I lie to the potential date. I once looked for dates on Craigslist and found most women always say he must have his own place. It is something I'm working on but its not a easy process as I will need to find a roommate and a slightly more stable job than I have now. It's the living at home that is holding me. I just have thoughts running through my mind wonder what she will think if I told her I currently live at home. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:46:50 PM | | Do you mean hookers by escorts. You said you have finance problems and your job is not steady. How are going to pay for it. Why not just be a friend with a woman for now and drop the ex from your agenda until your situation change and graduate. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:51:58 PM | | She'll think a whole lot more of you for living at home while working and going to school than she will of you paying for sex... that I can guarantee. Seems to me that you haven't given anyone a chance to make that decision. Put a picture on your profile and make an effort at least. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/24/2012 4:19:10 AM | I've been your position. I can only judge from my experience and your post, but I think this is mostly right. Firstly, your issue probably isn't sex. Your issue is getting out of the house, meeting women, flirting, kissing, dating, and the whole nine yards all the way up to finally having sex. It's about whether you can get a woman in the first place. It's also going to age 26 without proper physical and interpersonal intimacy, which will make you a bit depressed. Truthfully, you so much as go on one real date and/or make out with a woman, no sex, your problem will be half fixed and you'd still be a virgin. So it's not about sex.
What do YOU want? I mean really, deep down. I'm guessing it's a relationship and someone who likes you. It's also the confidence of knowing you are someone a woman would want to be with. You don't want an escort. You want to be cured of your virginity. You want a girlfriend.
That said, if you go to the escort, that's your choice and I fully support your decision. I endorse you doing whatever helps get you past this.
Let's assume you don't go for the escort. You need help getting past this. Here's what you do:
(1) You already did this but sign up for online dating. There are better sites than POF. DO NOT expect ANYTHING from online dating. You will mostly have rejected messages and pointless coffee dates. But coffee dates are something and you never know. Put yourself out there.
(2) GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! This is the most important step. Get out there meeting people. Meet women. Meet guys. Meet people of all ages. Meet people until you meet the right woman. In particular, go to bars and clubs. Go with friends, go stag, I don't care, you MUST go to bars and clubs. Get hobbies. Go to coffee houses and bookstores. Just out of the house period. Go see a movie by yourself or something.
Note that the point is not just to meet women but to meet people and to enjoy being out. If you meet a woman, it probably won't be for sex. If you make out with someone, get their number and try dating them (if they are interested).
(3) If a woman smiles at you or seems interested in you, ALWAYS ask her out. Ask her for a drink or something, if she likes you it doesn't matter.
Eventually, after lots of awkward moments, lots of pointless coffee dates, lots of alcohol, etc, you will meet someone. So on to dating...
(4) When it comes to dating, you will probably do lots of coffee dates. That's fine, especially for a first meeting. But coffee dates tend to be boring and pointless. As much as humanly possible, do something more exciting, aquarium, amusement parks, bowling, dinner, etc. Don't expect a second date or a kiss from just chatting with someone.
(5) Don't worry about your mom's house. The economy sucks, the twenties are a weird period anyways. I have married friends living at their mom's and shagging. Your mom won't mind. If a girl likes you, she won't mind either.
(6) I know you don't think you can do this and are probably a little depressed. Life will get better. You can do this.
Best of luck. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/24/2012 4:51:21 AM | I would imagine there would be enough women interested enough to induct you in the halls of the non virgin
I can think of no reason to pay for sex under any circumstances so I cannot really advise you re this
If you can then consider it but i assume paid for sex is not the same as actual sex.
As others note your issue sound much wider than just sex and seems to cover all of dating. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/24/2012 10:14:19 AM | Ive read alot of the hooker blogs. What seemed to be a common reason for men to see them was the fact that they were not getting the emotional connection from their wives/gf or at all from anyone. In order to get the intimacy(not just sex) they needed from them they needed to see them quite regularly. So unless you have alot of money I would go the route of dating. You will most likely get more of what you are looking for from that than if you go the escort route.
BTW what does GFE stand for? Great ****ing escort? | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/24/2012 10:33:14 AM | Some great advice here!
Op - the consensus seems to be to keep at dating, and hope for the best. Dating sites like POF are really more for 'fun' than finding someone for the long terms (or even short term!).
You're going to have to put yourself out there if you want intimacy (physical or otherwise). The advice to ask for a date every time a woman smiles at you is good. Just be careful to be subtle, and take a 'no' as final and leave, so you don't risk a complaint.
Yes, you can scrape up the money and pay a woman to pretend she likes you. But, that gets expensive, and unless you're Donald Trump, who can afford?
Keep putting yourself out there, and eventually you'll find a woman who connects with you, and then the two of you can decide if you want to have sex together! | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/24/2012 11:32:16 AM |
BTW what does GFE stand for? Great ****ing escort? Girl Friend Experience
Oh great so you pay NOT to have sex? ;) j/k
Oh that reminds me.. they do have sex surrogates to help people with this exact problem. Its a real licensed thing. Maybe look into that? | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/24/2012 11:39:15 AM | Oh great so you pay NOT to have sex?
No, that would be a WEE...Wife Experience Escort. Not only does she not have sex with you, she expects you to take out the garbage, and WANT to do it without being asked.  | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/24/2012 3:54:31 PM | 1. ignore what you see on craigslist. The kind of women you want to date will not be on there.
2. Ask out other college students. They will understand where you live.
3. Your mom is a handy excuse . The real reason is that you are scared. admit it to yourself so you can conquer your fears.
4. My first love and also my first bf in college lived with his grandma. never once made me think less of him. He was about 25 at the time.
5. Don't try to run before you can walk. Start by talking to girls, see them as fellow humans, not sex toys. Befriend them, and I mean as real friends. Listen to them and get to know how women tick. We are a bit bizarre. Then learn how to flirt. Hey, flirt w/girls at a party, and pay attention to what works and what doesn't, like an experiment. Finally, figure out what types of women float your boat, what interests you. Look for a woman that interests you for what's in her head, not because she is a warm body with a vagina, and not because of her looks. Ask her on a date, and take all the experience you have gathered in befriending women and in flirting with women and apply it so that you don't totally f-ck up the first date. Work your way to a kiss...etc... and eventually you will be ready for sex.
6. Lastly, consider some books on non verbal cues, how to talk to women, how to date, etc, and not the books written by players. I know of guys who had good success doing this.
7. Never ever try to build a relationship via IM or online chat rooms or email. That is a pseudo-experience and it makes you think you are learning and communicating. you aren't. It's fake. Consider how easily a man could pose as a woman and completely fool you for months during chats...if that is true (and it is), doesn't that tell you how unreal chatting with a real woman is? Think about it. There is NO substitution for talking to girls in real life.
8. Lastly, start with college girls in your classes. Pick one that doesn't terrify you, don't pick the hottest fanciest girl, but someone normal , and chat about your assignments etc. just talk. No goals beyond that. And go from there!
]
Obviously, NO ESCORTS! I would not ever date a man who had gone that route, just sayin'. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/24/2012 6:19:33 PM | I will take most of your advices of not going to a escort, I think I might have regret for what I did. I know a casual acquaintance who uses escorts, but he just like the idea of screwing everything he sees.
I here a lot of people saying on here saying be friends with women, I actually have quite of few of women friends. I'm going making friendships with women but nothing more and for sure not asking on dates. However, late 2010 I met a Russian woman and I kind of got the feeling she maybe interested and couple of my friends said she was interested. But I was not sure because I do not understand the signs of interest from any lady. After all this Russian lady came up to me first in the hallway while waiting for class and started the conversation. That is how we met. During the time we go to know each other, she would always swirl with her hair we we talk, and she even broke the touch barrier but I never attempt to touch her back. She likes to touch the chest. LOL! There was one moment when I was with my friend and she came up to me to say a few words and tried to invite me to this science event, but I couldn't go. However, she was very nervous wreck with her clutching her hands, and that is when my friend tells me she likes you and I'm no she doesn't, we just friends. I will admit we do have things in common such as computer science and snowboarding. I have tried to go after shy, not so good looking girls but have not been able to successfully get a date. However, its weird I can get a good looking girl to come up to me just like the Russian lady which I soon found out does modelling for fun.
I will say I can make friends with women but its I'm just nervous to show her that I would like to take it further such as a date. As I mention on the original I had obligations that always stopped me from living with a parent and I believe some degree of shyness may play a role. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:43:11 PM | | LongBeach225- Dude, I was extremely shy throughout my High School years, and into my 20's. I never really dated in high school and regret it to this day. I am 50 now, and have never been married, have had one date in the last 10 yrs., mainly because of $$ issues, having a girlfriend takes $$ unfortunately. So since your virgin, which I wish I were yet actually, you obviously have fear issues, and do not understand women, and a certain percentage of women do not understand women. Lol's God made you to be respectful to women, and your own body. When I was your age, all I wanted was to have sex with every attractive woman I saw. Hormones drive certain men crazy! If you remain a virgin until your wedding night...you are going to be so glad you waited. Especially if you marry a woman that is still a virgin to. There will be great blessing on both of you if you wait. Women like men that can make them laugh. But you want them to laugh "with you"...not "at you". A sense of humor is vital. I realized finally in my 30's that rejection from a woman is not such a bad thing. Women always try to let us guys down easy when they are not attracted to us. They don't want to bruise our egos. If that Russian woman is still around, if you see her in the coming days, when she's alone, just walk up and say; " Hi Olga...(or whatever her name is) ...I want you to go have ice-cream with me! BOOM! it's that easy...the only way to overcome fear is to face it head on, dude! | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/25/2012 12:22:17 AM | I suggest you get a hooker and then decide if it was the right thing to do, or not. Some have liked a hooker while others may despised hiring a hooker. You won't know until you try.
If everything goes right you'll claim, "For everything else there's Visa" | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/25/2012 1:53:25 AM | | Son, this is a job for a cougar, and they are roaming the jungles for a fresh trainable hunk of man meat....trust me, they don't give a damn where you live, and they aren't hard to find. One found me for my first REAL sex. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/25/2012 4:53:52 AM | If you are out and about on campus or anywhere else and the women are single then they will notice that you are single and they will talk to you. Make dates from there.
If all else fails take care of business manually. Free porn will help. The great thing is nobody can give you a hard time about it unless they are introducing you to single women.
Never get the escort. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/25/2012 5:03:05 AM | OP - if you keep waiting for a ""date"" to get sex, you might wind up being 30 before you lose it...
you have zero confidence and it gets worse by the day....
go find someone who knows how to help you get a girl that you get to pay for some fun and then just do it and knock the dust off
you need to chill about it and not build it up so much in your mind...
sex ain't a big deal till you ain't getting none !! | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/25/2012 8:13:12 AM | Longbeach225,
The advice about meeting people is partially to meet more women, which is a problem for many men like you, but it is also about focusing more on enjoying the company of other people and less on the fact that you are a virgin -- specifically your insecurities about it and your desire to rectify it. You don't go to a nightclub or join a cooking class just to meet women, you do those things because you want to and because you enjoy being around people. Getting a girlfriend and having sex should be a bonus from your social interactions, not the end of your social interactions, or you will be just frustrated and disappointed. Point is, it's mostly about how you focus.
Clearly you do understand the signs of interest from a woman. You had a Russian woman who you noticed was swirling her hair, touching your chest, nervous, etc. If these aren't indicators of interests, I don't know what is. Clearly she was likely interested in you. Clearly you at least took some note of her behavior. That said, women don't always give such clear indicators of interests.
Here's a secret you probably don't know. Every guy is as blind to indicators of interests and is as nervous about showing interest as you are. Every guy, with few exceptions. They see someone they like and then... they get nervous, over think, and never make a move. Making a move is easy. You go up to a woman and ask "Would you like to go out some time?". She will then say yes or no. Most of the time she will politely decline, often because she already has a boyfriend, and you will feel good for having at least asked.
If you know the Russian woman still, you need to ask her out.
Any time you meet someone like that Russian woman who likes you or you like them, ask them out. Just make that a rule for how you live your life. Follow this rule, every time, without exception. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/25/2012 2:47:56 PM | @ OP:
Dude! you do what you think you need to do..An escort (not a street hooker!!) may be the way if you need to experience everything ..A good one will take it slow and show you the ropes... And if you can't afford an escort then you surely can't afford a girlfriend...Trust me a girlfriend is a lot more expensive than an escort..haha...
Cheers and good luck! | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/25/2012 9:20:37 PM | | Do I still talk to this Russian woman? Yes I do. We have a friendship, but my friends tease me saying she maybe looking for more. She is so pretty its a reason why I won't ask her out if she did like me. Yeah, she have kiss me before on the cheek but other than that its nothing at least to my knowledge. Her looks her are way above me. I did like this Chinese girl but she was not interested. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/25/2012 9:23:17 PM | If you're not asking out a woman because she's TOO pretty, you need a smack on the head... with a bat.
If you're good enough in her eyes, who are YOU to question that judgement? Stuff your insecurities where they belong... in a closet.
*sigh* ... youth is wasted on the wrong people. | |
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| Should I go for dating or GFE escort
Posted: 6/25/2012 9:55:35 PM | | So does this Russian woman have a boyfriend? Don't think that you are not worthy or deserving of dating a very pretty woman. There is a woman where I work, I'll call her Dawn...she is about 15 - 20 yrs. younger than me, well the first conversation her and I had she opened up about her concerns about her Fiance's soon to be ex-wife, that this woman would be a future problem. I told her that once the divorce is final, don't worry! I shared with her that she should pray and ask God to show her if this guy she was currently engaged to at the time was "the guy" she should marry. I told her that when you make a "vow"...you better keep it. After that conversation she started paying me lot's of attention, she was interested in me, and because I knew she was engaged to be married, I backed off. I made a mistake...I should have asked her out...she would probably be my girlfriend for the past couple of years. Dude...just go ask her out...be "bold" about...just walk up and ask her out for ice-cream or somethin'...tell her straight out; "Im going to take you out for ice-cream...whether your with someone right now or not..."! | |
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