| | Girls who message me first, then don't reply.Page 1 of 1 | So I've been on here a few weeks now and have sent out a few messages and received some. I message people I'm genuinely interested in, and always comment on something in there profile to show I've read it.
My problem starts when girls message ME first, then don't reply to my follow up e-mail. I mean what can I have possibly said that put them off? Like I say I always comment about something they put on there profile. Why do they not get back to me? Surely they are interested enough in the first place to send me a message.
Do you women know what I'm doing wrong? Are they after a little bit more? If you messaged a guy what kind of response would you want?
Many Thanks any advice is appreciated. | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 6/24/2012 4:33:02 PM | | We are not in their heads so can't speak for individual people. Could have been their best friend dared them to write you, they started the pursuer role and don't know how to continue, re-read your profile and decided you are not for them afterall, chickened out, was bored and decided to try something different, got busy with other things in their life and forgot about replying back, lots of possible reasons. | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 6/24/2012 5:55:46 PM | There was another thread about the same topic. I will copy and paste what I wrote before.
This happens fairly often on dating sites. Most likely it had nothing to do with what you said in your email. Some possible reasons. They were bored and wanted to see how many men would respond as an ego boost. They got an email from a man that they considered to be more attractive. They decided to take a break from internet dating. They noticed something in your profile that was a dealbreaker to them etc. | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 6/24/2012 6:13:39 PM |
My problem starts when girls message ME first, then don't reply to my follow up e-mail. I mean what can I have possibly said that put them off? Like I say I always comment about something they put on there profile. Why do they not get back to me? Surely they are interested enough in the first place to send me a message. Look lots of folks on here are "scattershooting" and send out lots of messages and then may get all excited about a couple so a bunch fall through the cracks. Quit worrying about non replies. Try and use humor in your replies.
Cowboy | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:05:30 PM |
Surely they are interested enough in the first place to send me a message.
here's a big part of your problem: the assumption of interest. they're not interested in you. they're CURIOUS about you. they're waiting to see whether you MIGHT prove interesting, and sometimes all it takes is one message to show you're not.
I always comment about something they put on there profile.
if you're following a formula or template, you can come off as stiff or dull. do you always ask a question? women get a lot of that and it can get repetitive. statements related to her interests, and yours as well, are just as valid conversational fodder. | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 6/24/2012 9:38:45 PM | | I don't know. I get this a lot, too. Everyone above makes valid points. The best thing is to not think about it, and just move on. I never was that much of a writer in college, so sometimes I have a hard time communicating myself through emails. One wrong sounding message, and it will cost you. The messages will just stop. I guess the best thing to do is move on, learn from your mistakes, and try to become a better writer. Women online tend to like creative messages. | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 6/25/2012 3:41:32 PM | | Alright guys thanks for your help, I'm not too concerned I guess. At least I'm getting some hits! I'd like to hear from the ladies a bit though, personally what type of response would keep you keen? Or do you just feel something is right? | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 6/25/2012 5:19:32 PM | I'm not sure... I message guys first a lot, and I don't think I've ever not responded to a follow up email.
Do you ask them questions? more so then hey whats up? I find I am more receptive to guys who saying something funny/sarcastic (I know cliche, but sense of humor is always a plus).
All I can think is that maybe how you come off on your profile is not how you come off in your messages? Either way you're a good looking guy who seems pretty normal, I'm sure you'll do alright. | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 6/26/2012 8:44:01 AM | | That is sort of weird. If I message a guy first, usually it's because I'm really interested and I will of course answer their follow up email unless it says something I'm totally not expecting (like something too sexual for a first conversation). Maybe these girls who are messaging you message a lot of guys and have trouble getting back to you all, so some guys get lost in the shuffle. | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 6/30/2012 3:31:53 PM | Well I guess I'll just keep trying. Someone will message me back and it will be the start of something beautiful!
I also get a lot of "so so has expressed an interest in you (this is a flirt option for women)" When, if ever, would you ladies use that? Its much more impersonal than a message but then they could just not know what to say... | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 7/2/2012 3:41:56 AM | I have done this when I can't remember messaging the person - because of time or minimum level of interest.
Its totally possible to message a bunch of guys and not one reply back because of some reason or another so if I don't get a reply in a decent time frame I shrug and move on.
Timely reply - if its not within a day or so of my message then he's not interested in me or doesn't check his pof regularly enough to care.
minimum level of interest - I message guys who I find attractive and there is something in their profile that I find interesting, if there wasn't too much to go on I will message and if their reply wasn't something that also interests me then I might not be inclined to continue the conversation. | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 7/2/2012 7:47:56 AM | | maybe within the time frame that it took you to reply, she found the fish she was looking for? just a thought. chin up. there are plenty of nice women out there besides the few rude ones who disappear without reasonable cause ;) | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 7/2/2012 7:03:41 PM | Meh. It happens.
I had lass click the "meet me" thing, then favorite me, then message me. So I sent a reply back, got nothing in return.
A week or two later I got a message from the same person that started along the lines of "I can't believe I've never talked to you before..." etc etc.
I don't know why, but I replied back again. No response. lol
Stuff happens. | |
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jeni99
| | Joined: 6/12/2012
Msg: 18 | |
| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 7/2/2012 8:08:18 PM | I look at the initial communication as a form of get to know the other person kind of thing.
For me one of the fastest things that will drop a conversation is when it's one-sided. Such as the guy only wants to tell you about himself and his interest, without requesting the similar information.
Another is the "Hi" or "How you doing" kind of introductory and/or replies.
It's also great to point out the obvious, that which is on the profiles and/or common interests, but can become quickly redundant after you've received numerous messages proclaiming "common interest". You might want to try asking about things that aren't on their profile.
And lastly, and my personal favorite, is when someone can find something quirky/odd in my profile and respond to it.
Hope that helps some.... | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:25:23 AM |
Look lots of folks on here are "scattershooting" and send out lots of messages and then may get all excited about a couple so a bunch fall through the cracks. Quit worrying about non replies. Try and use humor in your replies.[/
imo that's such bs.
it just makes me want to believe people are just a bunch of desperate sex starved animals.
give me a break, where are the people with dignity or some sort of decorum? Sure I have a very very limited dating history. But lonliness is preferable to being a sex craved monkey. | |
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| Girls who message me first, then don't reply.
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:40:30 AM |
here's a big part of your problem: the assumption of interest. they're not interested in you. they're CURIOUS about you. they're waiting to see whether you MIGHT prove interesting, and sometimes all it takes is one message to show you're not. | |
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