| | Ever think someone is "out of your league" and not messaged them? Page 1 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | I just wondered If I was the only person that ever came across someones profile, thought they were good looking, went on to read the profile and thought " oh wow, they sound amazing " but not gone to message them because they would probably reject me?
I only ask, I think the people of today have brainwashed me into thinking that because I'm a fat ( yes I say fat, instead of curvy, or voluptious etc, its just a word. ) I couldn't bag myself a hot guy, and that he would prefer some one thinner. I happen to think I look ok and I adore the junk in my trunk, but for whatever reason because I'm not a size 8 girl, I almost feel stupid to even message a guy that looks hot, because he would take one look at my pictures and not go for a large woman.
I guess until you message someone, you just don't know what they are into and everyone is different. So to any larger men or women reading this.. dont be afraid to message someone if you like the sound of them. If someone doesn't message back, or if you're not their type, dont take it personally... at least you asked :)
I have to keep reminding myself that there needs to be an initial attraction, So if someone doesn't like how I look, its not down to me, and it's not always about a guy/ girl being shallow.. We just like what we like...
This post is not intended to hurt anyone, nor provoke anyone to be nasty :) Sometimes its just reassuring for us larger ladies or even larger men to know there are still decent men and women out there looking for us and that we dont need to be like every other skinny model like barbie figure :D !
Would love to hear peoples opinion on the matter! | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/26/2012 2:49:33 PM | Yep, I've done exactly that.....
I saw the most beautiful man ever on here earlier, read his profile, and thought "wow, we have loads in common" except that I was so sure I was going to be rejected because he was so hot, and because I'm not hot.... | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/26/2012 2:55:06 PM | I am new to this online malarkey, and I am quite stupid when it comes to knowing who is out of my league etc. Therefore, if I like someone's profile, I will message them and, well, you never know! :)
I know I'm not visually Brad Armpitt or whatnot, but as the saying goes, there is someone for everyone - online is as likely as anywhere that I *might* catch someone's eye. Like the lottery - we keep buying tickets, am I right? :)
I reckon don't be too shy, but don't go overboard the other way - just try to be yourself. I speak as an expert of having a very poor track record, so take everything I say with a dose of salt. :) | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/26/2012 3:00:05 PM | Well Caroline, After visiting your profile ( the first girls profile I have ever gone on haha ) I actually think you are gorgeous.. You have a beautiful smile and your profile is great!!!
It's a shame that you didn't message the guy! You should totally message him and just put out the olive branch and see what happens! If he doesn't reply, then you are no better of then before hand!
I think sometimes its not that we dont like ourselves, but we worry others wont. I know thats how it is with me.. but then I think about it for a second, and I think, I KNOW I'm a great girl. I'd make an excellent girlfriend and quite frankly If someone couldn't see that, then they don't deserve to have me :D
xxxx | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/26/2012 3:05:23 PM |
I know I'm not visually Brad Armpitt or whatnot, but as the saying goes, there is someone for everyone - online is as likely as anywhere that I *might* catch someone's eye. Like the lottery - we keep buying tickets, am I right? :)
haha I loved this! We DO keep buying tickets and eventually one of the tickets pays out a few quid..
even though it was pointed out this was covered in another thread.. this was more about ( for me ) a fat woman, not feeling like I could message a hot guy. Not just oh shit they are cooler then me so i better not message them, which after looking mr gump, seems what half of those 9 pages are about.. | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/26/2012 3:11:24 PM | I don't buy lottery tickets and i don't message many people or expect an answer mainly because Its not cricket to ask a woman "do you date black men?". So dont feel too bad.. I'm consigned to the ugly bin for being black AND ugly so things cant be too bad for you.
Must say i have a lot of respect for the OP saying it the way she sees it | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/26/2012 3:18:21 PM | I've had a few messages that start with 'I'm know I'm not in your league............'
That has to be one of the most put off lines ever.... how does he know what 'league' I am in ... I would like to think I'm not in one atall but it just bugs me because I then think the fella isn't going to be assertive enough for me! | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/26/2012 4:08:10 PM | Hey Justlucie!
I do that everytime I check profiles and even doing the meet me bit, it might boil down to self confidence but I have this nagging in the back of my head saying the person is far too good for me and I am put off from sending them a message or even saying Yes to meeting them. | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/26/2012 5:34:01 PM | This is a interesting post because most people would have backed off someone at least once in there life that they considered themselfs "not in there league". But yeah there has to be a initial attraction but at the same time with what you message them could help it with trying to make a joke or something.
All you can do is try because its better to try and fail rather than not trying and keep thinking what if. | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:25:38 PM | OP it's a matter of self worth (not self opinion), as long as you feel good about yourself stuff everyone else!
And it's a matter if your both in the same league mentally.
Personally I'd not message anyone that was self proclaimed 'very attractive' in their profile as IM (not so H) O that comes across as ugly.
Just go for it!!  | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/27/2012 1:15:50 AM | | All the time! I assume everyone who takes my eye is out of my league so never message anyone. The one or two times (usually fuelled by wine) I've messaged anyone I've been rejected so I just wait to see if anyone messages me .. I'm not in a mad rush so am not too bothered. Also, still can't quite shake the old fashioned part of me that says it's a man job to initiate contact (wish I could) but that's for another thread ... | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/27/2012 1:42:30 AM | It would depend a bit - if the profile was all about the 'pretty face' chances are what they present is what they want, & that's not me nor is it somebody I'd be interested in
If the written part was funny/clever/interesting then I would message something relevant & see what happened | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/27/2012 1:47:50 AM | | All the time, but just sometimes i wonder if every other guy is thinking that to, and the lady is sat there wondering why she never gets any mail. So on the odd occasion i'll take a chance and say hi, sometimes i'll get a nice friendly reply, sometimes i get the icy cold one word reply | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/27/2012 1:52:44 AM | I dont regard anyone as "out of my league". Ive seen some profiles where someone has looked good but their lifestyle is very different - for example if someone had their own business , is obviously very wealthy and tends to go off on exotic holidays all the time then I'm not going to fit into that lifestyle - so I woudlnt find someone like that suitable as I woudl feel that I couldnt keep up and would hate to be "paid for".
Couple of years ago at New Year when I was a wee bit worse for wear , I decided to send a silly fun message to whoever I thought was the best looking woman on the "My Matches" page where you have 40 pictures. then I got carried away and ended up sending the same message to over 30 women - just picked whoever I saw was the most attarctive on the page each time.
Results surprised me - I got replies from about 2/3rds of the women - half just said thanks for making them laugh and that was the end of it but the other half wanted to continue conversing with me. Now some of those women were ones that I would ordinarily have thought "no, she probably wouldnt ever reply" - so from then on my view is "stuff it - nothing to lose" - so what if someone doesnt reply - I actually prefer that to a "Thanks but no thanks". | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 6/27/2012 2:08:37 AM |
^^^^^ You get REPLIES? - please pm me with your secret cunning plin.......
(self pity threads this short may not be posted)
most of the time yes, in one form or another. But then again i'm not after anything other than chat and my profile clearly says that, so really there's no pressure on the lady if they decide to chat to me. does that make sense? They dont have to worry about me building my hopes up, or giving me the wrong impression. it's just chat
the opening mail i send most these days are 'you look awfully familiar, have we spoken before?'. It usually gets a response of some kind | |
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