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| | Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?Page 1 of 21 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21) | Am I the only one bothered by this. I go to the gym to escape. I go alone for a reason. I run to forget my troubles, but I can't stand it when creeps stare. This man told me today "I see you come here a lot, I like the way you workout, I like the way your body looks". I smiled and walked away.
Isn't there proper gym etiquette? I hate to be bothered there, now I feel uncomfortable going. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/26/2012 10:34:52 PM | If this is how you feel then go to a ladies only gym or work out at home or take up something solo for exercise like hiking, running, paddling, or bicycling ... problem solved.
Where I live there are no men's only gyms a couple of gyms that have co-ed and ladies only and quite a few ladies only gym's. This is the same in quite a few of the larger centers in B.C and Alberta that I have worked in and visited.
Personally I go to the gym for some social interaction. If I want alone time I can bike or paddle or ski or hike or windsurf and just share a smile with those I pass by. I find if I have tunes on as most people do at the gym these days people do not bother to try and talk with you. If someone does try to talk you can always smile, say sorry I can't hear you and keep on going with your routine. I know that's kind of rude and unfriendly but I find that is increasingly what the world is becoming | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/26/2012 10:36:47 PM | Trying to meet and approach young women in the US often feels awkward and rude, as if you are violating some type of boundary. They prefer not to acknowledge your existence if you’re not in their clique. They are among the most cliquish, closed, and anti-stranger women in the world, and emanate an “unapproachable force field” around them. This anti-stranger force field/bubble says to men, "Don't mess with me. I'm unapproachable. I don't talk to strangers. If I don't know you, you have no business talking to me unless you are lost and need directions.” (Unless of course, you are or look like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.). You can sense some kind of shield as if you are violating some type of boundary. If they find out that you are speaking to them for purposes other than asking directions, they suddenly get defensive, upset, and act as though you’ve violated their boundaries. Attempting to penetrate their bubble elicits a negative response which causes an energy drain on men that discourages them from trying again. That’s why most guys in the US don’t have the guts to approach women. It’s unnatural, creepish, anxiety-provoking, discouraging and usually leads to no real result. What many guys, especially the ones involved in the PUA (Pick Up Artist) movement don't understand about the fear of approaching women is that the reason they are afraid is not because they lack guts. It's because they can sense that the girls they want to meet do NOT want to be approached, so that to do so would be rude and violating. Not to say that there are no friendly women in America, but there is definitely something peculiar that makes them and Americans in general unnaturally closed and paranoid. So the main problem is that they won’t meet you if they don’t know you, but yet you can’t get to know them cause they won’t meet you, thus creating a CLOSED LOOP against someone who wants to meet them. And that just plain sucks, to put it simply.
In fact, it’s widely agreed among well-traveled playboys that the US has among the most unapproachable and anti-social women in the world.
What sucks about America, despite its many ideal qualities, is that the only truly friendly open women are the large ones, while the non-overweight ones are generally stuck-up and unapproachable (though in many areas, such as LA, even ugly girls are rude and uppity).
On the other hand, in the rest of the world, women feel flattered and react warm and sweetly when you approach them, whether they are interested or not, whether they are available or not. They don’t get offended or see it as creepish. Many often giggle or blush in the process (how many American women nowadays blush or giggle?). In fact, the difference in approachability is greater than the average American who’s never left their country can imagine. Even if you approach a female movie star, model, or married woman in Russia, she never gets offended or defensive at your initiation like American women do, so you never feel like you are a creep for the attempt. It’s a total refreshing contrast. That’s how “real women” are, and it’s truly feminine. Basically, a guy is allowed to be himself abroad, rather than suppress who he is. But most guys reading this wouldn’t know this difference until you’ve left the Puritanical “Matrix” of the US, otherwise you have nothing to compare to.
To try to put it into words, an approachable girl looks at ease, relaxed, open and friendly. It's in her face, body language and aura too. She makes eye contact with others, smiles back at people, and has an open body posture. An unapproachable girl, on the other hand, has a closed narrow vibe and look on her face. She is uptight, serious, focused, does not make eye contact with others, and has a "don't bother me" look on her face. When you try to muster the courage to talk to her, you will feel a cold chill and an alarm will go off in you that says, "DO NOT! NOT ALLOWED! INAPPROPRIATE!" It has nothing to do with guts or bravery at all.” | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/26/2012 10:45:57 PM | | I dont get to go to the gym as much anymore. But, when I did, I would notice some guys hitting on women there. Some were polite and said they werent intested. Some were insulting and some ignored them. But the one thing I noticed was that all the ladies kept looking at the guys staring at them. To some guys, a woman making periodic glances at them signals interest. My advice would be to find a spot on the wall and stare at it, or move to another station. Men are going to look at women they find attractive. That is just a fact of life, thats how we are wired. Some of us just are better at concealing the fact that we are looking. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/26/2012 10:46:42 PM | As long as Men are able meet women in gyms, they will approach women in gyms.
As long as Men enjoy looking at women, they will look at women in gyms.
I've met women in gyms, gotten their numbers and ended up on dates. I've even had women approach me in gyms and ask me out, even though when I was working out I preferred to be focussed on the work out.
Still, when you're single, you take the opportunities when they came. I wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to meet someone interesting and attractive just to squeeze in a rep a little faster.
And there are Ladies only gyms in a number of places. In San Antonio (yes, I checked your profile) there ares 10 (TEN) Curves gyms (ladies only), and that's just a franchise chain. If you want to work out in a ladies only environment, go to a ladies gym. If you want some of the benefits of a co-ed environment, use the co-ed gyms.
And if you don't want any attention, put on headphones and nobody will bother you most of the time. Also, most gyms have policies regarding the harassment of members. If someone crosses the line, just say something. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/26/2012 10:49:59 PM | It's a public area; the only difference is you're probably wearing tighter and shorter clothing than normal. I'll admit that old guy was a bit creepy, but you're acting asilly if you're worried about your safety or continue to feel uncomfortable at a public gym.
If it's any consolation, it's much more annoying to have the old guys walk around completely nude in the locker room. For some reason, it's only the young guys that seem to have any etiquette (it's a bit annoying to round a corner and get a glimpse of a guy's junk). | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/26/2012 10:52:36 PM | | Funny enough, I had a coworker who was telling me a couple of months ago about a guy at the gym she goes to that she thinks is cute and how she wishes he would talk to her. Trying to meet women is a lose lose proposition apparently. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:01:31 PM | Some women go to a gym to exercise and are not open to socializing and/or meeting someone there... you seem to fall in that category.
Some women in gyms are open to socializing and the possibility of meeting someone there. It may even be one of the reasons they are there, they want to meet someone who is into fitness.
You have to accept that there is a mix and simply make it clear to those that approach you, where in that mix you are.
As far as the method a guy will use to approach a woman, they vary greatly (lol) That is true regardless of venue.
C'est la vie! | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:50:27 PM | | OP look for a women's gym only or go into the women only work out room. Most females in our gym like the attention and don't really care. Especially the regular people that always go to get a work out in. Personally I would not bother a woman at the gym while she is working out, I also don't like being bothered while I'm working out as well. Cuz I just want to do my thing and get out. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 12:55:51 AM | @roger33...
That was one of the creepiest posts I have ever read. If a woman is giving you a "don't approach me" vibe, its because she doesn't want to be approached by you. You appear to want to be able to approach women who are not interested in your approaches.
I live in a small place where its quite natural to smile and say hello to people as you pass them in the street whether you know them, or not, but some men really bring out a "don't approach me vibe" from me because its so goddam obvious they're not just being friendly, they're being lecherous old goats.
Maybe foreign women just aren't as good at reading you and don't realise you're the kind of bloke who expects to be able to intrude upon women against their wishes. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 2:30:45 AM |
Am I the only one bothered by this. I go to the gym to escape. I go alone for a reason. I run to forget my troubles, but I can't stand it when creeps stare. This man told me today "I see you come here a lot, I like the way you workout, I like the way your body looks". I smiled and walked away.
Isn't there proper gym etiquette? I hate to be bothered there, now I feel uncomfortable going.
Lol, I am wondering what this dude looked like, I can imagine this dude must have looked like a gremlin on something saying that. I also wonder if he was your "ideal" match or really attracted to him would you have started this thread.
Personally, I think it's getting harder and harder to approach people anywhere other than a club or where alcohol is flowing freely...who knows. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 2:33:21 AM | I honestly don't like some of the replies. S0 a girl needs to change her exercise habits or looks for a woman only gym because some guys don't understand the meaning of personal space?
I personally don't like women only gym, there are not hardcore enough for me.
I can assure you that most is just an impression, it is what I always said to a new girl when she join the gym. Most of the men that are in a gym are really focus on their routine and even if it looks like they are staring at you their are thinking about themselves.
Use the headsets and don't wait around doing nothing for too long. If you are really busy just few people will bother you and when it happens just smile and move on.
Or just go swimming, with the head under the water is really hard to chat someone up. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 3:37:54 AM | Buy some home exercise gadgets they advertise on TV and work out at home. There's a new one everyday it seems.
Or, since you're young, probably really attractive so why not enjoy the attention you're getting while you have it. When you get much older you'll look back and wish they were still looking at you like they used too. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:25:14 AM | After working in a gym for awhile, I decided I'm much better off just getting some equipment and exercising at home.
I never witnessed anything like you mention, OP, but the environment overall wasn't very comfortable (very busy gym, packed floor to ceiling during the afternoon and weekends, and man did some of those guys sweat, ugh!), and um, our cleaning staff wasn't exactly very diligent, let's just put it that way, which is what turned me off the most. But we had a nice mix of men and women there.
If you aren't in need of the more expensive equipment, you could always just try taking some fitness or dance classes here and there but do the bulk of your exercising at home. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:43:25 AM | "In fact, it’s widely agreed among well-traveled playboys that the US has among the most unapproachable and anti-social women in the world. "
On the other hand, in the rest of the world, women feel flattered and react warm and sweetly when you approach them, whether they are interested or not, whether they are available or not. They don’t get offended or see it as creepish.
Msg. 4 --- Ironic that you didn't notice it's a woman from another country (not from the US) who is not wanting to be approached by strangers and didn't appreciate his creepy comments about her body, while you are saying it's only American women who don't want strange men to approach them. Some people obviously just don't get it. Women are receptive to men they want to meet, not men they don't wish to meet... simple as that. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:53:16 AM | OP, When someone gives someone else a sincere complement, the polite thing to do is to say, "Thank You".
The chap in question may well have been a genuine buffoon, but its not polite to go up to a random stranger and comment on their body.
The OP was over polite as it was, as mentioned by Gourmetchef.
I would have told him to bugger off, wearily.
Don't dress HOT at the gym.........solved.
I do believe you just implied she was asking for it, Petunia.
Oh, my giddy aunt.
*Jac shakes head in exasperation* | |
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