| | why would someone do this in such a shor timePage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Let me explain my profile before people get into to well you are just look for sex when this incident is what acually led me to go the route of just find a fwb instead of branching out into a relationship right now.
With that said. Met a girl on here a short while ago. We had 3 dates over the span of 1 month. They were good dates, she seem to be a great and stable person but I just was not feeling it. We did not even kiss and that is fine with me when looking for an acual. It was 6 months before my ex and I had sex I do not mind waiting at all. Back on topic when I told her that I was not interest in pursuing further she went crazy about why did i even message her and why is she not good enough and just on and on. well the last corespondance was supposidly from her parents that she attempted to kill herself by downing a bottle of pills. I say supposidly because it was a text message from her phone but why after only 3 dates with someone no kiss or anything of that sorts would someone try to kill themselves or even think they are in love in such a short time. I could maybe see a teenage have suck quick false hopes but she was in her 30's? | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 9:35:09 AM | Some people just have psychological issues. Those issues can go under the radar for years if there is no history of violene or public outbursts.
If she actually committed suicide and the message was not her posing as her parents to make you feel bad, then she was on the edge already, and if it wasn't you it would have been something else.
Her suicide "attempt", whether real or not is a cry for help. Hopefully she will get appropriate treatment. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 9:39:32 AM | You had nothing to do with her psychological past/present. It's been there for a long time, likely. I agree with the above poster, "and if it wasn't you it would have been something else." OR someone else.
Don't attempt any correspondence with said woman. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 9:46:59 AM | Let it go, or you will be too "gun shy" to ever have a good relationship.
Her mental health issues are just that--hers. I seriously doubt she tried to commit suicide--it was just an attempt to manipulate her into contacting her. Don't.
I may sound harsh, but I have been in your shoes and had to gut it out to release myself from the manipulative hold of someone like her. Totally accepting that it is not my fault or responsibility was essential--I now feel absolutely nothing but a bit of pity for said person, and his antics are no reflection on me. It took me too long to get by the guilt, but once I did-such freedom.
Of course, that does not mean you should be callous and lie to people to get what you want and feel no guilt, ever. Just be honest, and let others make their own choices, and you will know you have done the right thing. Good luck. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 9:59:33 AM | Talk about short time and age, let me tell you I met whats seemed a wonderful 44 yr old Doctor who had 2 books published on working with woman with low self esteem. We met for 3 hrs only over coffee and I must say we hit it off really well. Thought after having my share of crazies this woman was the most stable I had met. we agreed to talk over the weekend however my mum got sick ad I did not call her.
First thing Monday morning I got two dozen horrible texts from her. OMG I have never had anyone talk to me like that ........she even started bad mouthing my daughter.
All I can say it remember it is not about you......walk away knowing its not your problem. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 10:01:29 AM | Face it, it was all your fault.
You could have prevented this by taking her to Disney World, then to NY, then to Paris, to then do some transcendental meditation on the Ganges.
Okay, get my drift.
You could have said to her that her hair was too long, short, whatever. She had psychological issues. A lot more to do with why she did that was her parents. In fact, think about it. The parent instead of looking at family of origin issues, goes and tries to find blame outside, so they blame you, or inform you, perhaps in a way to make you feel guilty.
Have no guilt. You have not done anything wrong. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 10:18:34 AM | to "U make it entertaining"
Come here looking for sex... you're gonna meet a lot of crazies!
As I stated in my post at this time I was not coming her to look for sex. It is because of this incident that I dropped trying to look for an acual relationship and my profile is what it is today.
Thankyou to all other replies that helped with insights from personal experiences. I really appreciate it! | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 10:47:18 AM | this incident is what acually led me to go the route of just find a fwb instead of branching out into a relationship right now.
Really?
Ok.
A-ha.
Whatever.
Sorry Op but *I* am not buyin' it!! *roll eyes*
(So you're looking now for an intimate encounter because of this one girl.......) | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 12:00:46 PM | Pinky
You don't have to buy it because its the truth. I have not met someone for a one night stand and I won't. Not looking to see how many women I can sleep with. Hell not even actively looking to find something just changed the profile and removed picture. We all know how many people are going to send someone a message looking for an ie w/o a pic. plus i think i even have my profile hid not sure of that though. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 12:19:59 PM | I've met some crazies through online dating. This woman has psychological issues. Three dates/no kiss followed by a "just not feeling it" message would trigger nothing more than mild disapointment in an emotionally healthy adult. I might expect tears from a fifteen year old with little experience dating but nothing more.
I think the average is seven to ten people before you meet someone where the both of you hit it off. The number may be even greater online because these are essentially blind dates.
You did nothing wrong.
I would not suggest going the FWB route in response to this. There are probably a greater percentage of crazy chicks trolling for hook ups than those looking for a normal relationship. A good portion of the single women seeking intimate encounters are emotionally unstable people who have come to terms with the fact that their own craziness and drama makes a healthy relationship unlikely, so they are going the fwb route. But this does not mean there is less potential for drama. If anything, these unstable fwb's are more likely to show up at your place of employment and cause a scene. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 12:21:19 PM | Run dont walk but run far far away from this woman, she seems very unstable over 3 dates? It took me about 4months to fall in love and sleep with my ex so after 3 dates this is a little too crazy.
As for those texts from her parents, well thats total BS I am thinking she just wants someone and its a good thing you didnt sleep with her because she seems like the type to get "accidently" pregnant.
Leave her be and if she messages you just pretend your a new girl friend and tell her to fly a kite.
You owe her nothing, but you do owe yourself your safety. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 12:37:16 PM | nothing like getting to know someone... and you never know anyone until you argue or breakup.... Her reaction had nothing to do with you, don't let it affect who u are...
... best of luck to you.......... | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 12:57:23 PM | Triumph thx for the input and you do bring up a pretty valid point about the whole online for fwb type thing. Think i might just give up on the whole online thing and just stick around for the forums as on a slow day at work these forums can be entertaining.
HypnoticEyezzz
trust me I have been running far and far getting ready to get a plane tick to fly away from her. Just was trying to get some sort of understanding of this and I guess the general idea is can't under crazy lol.
reading a lot of these replies has helped to lift some of the down feelings i been having with this whole situation | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 1:04:49 PM | I think it was her overly dramatic way of telling you to go fu*k yourself. The return text was probably complete BS.
Can you seriously imagine a family member publicizing a suicide attempt to every "wasssuup" text message this woman gets? Highly unlikely.
FWB is supposed to mean you are actually friends first. The internet is not the best way to meet a woman with the expectations of a casual, no drama sexual relationship, as you have no idea who or what will approach you. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 1:06:51 PM |
Can someone help me with this sentence?
We did not even kiss and that is fine with me when looking for an acual.
TIA
sorry left out the word "relationship" I would edit original post but it does not give me that option | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 1:08:09 PM | ~OP~ First of all? She's either nutz, or nutz. And NO, it wasn't her parents contacting you (sheesh, really now??) You're going to allow one nutzoid keep you from pursuing something with someone else? That's as nutz as her bogus text message to you. JMO  | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 1:27:14 PM | | Because she is a crazy psycho! It was not her parents to text you that, it was her. Delete her # and block her from your phone if at all possible. That is just ridiculous. *__* | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 2:17:10 PM | Ahahaha sorry to laughing kirb32 but this post just made me feel a lot better, like a lot of other posts.
I though I had issues but you just made me realised that I am perfectly sane, thanks dude!
Good luck :D | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 2:41:30 PM | I'm not sure any of us are qualified, or have enough evidence to say whether she has mental health, or psychological issues, but from what you say she appears egocentric and manipulative to the point of being abusive. She appears to have little self-awareness beyond self-gratification and as a result has little other-awareness, or empathy.
We are all like this at times, its just that her thoughts and behaviours are extreme, probably as a result of some compounding arrests in her development and/or lack of knowledge.
Its plain she's not in a good place, particularly with respect to having a happy, healthy relationship.
If anyone ever pulls the suicide-because-you-(might)-reject-me thing, its time to walk away, assuming you're looking for a happy, healthy relationship (of whichever format) yourself. A person who does this needs to fill in the gaps of their development and knowledge for themselves. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 5:26:30 PM | | Women canNOT deal with rejection. They even play with their hair and pose when I ignore 'em - and look at me! You write like you're retarded but, if you look halfway decent, the girl was just being a girl: having a big problem with rejection, and then lying reflexively. | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 8:01:03 PM | | OP: You should have steered her here to the POF religion, where everybody is taught to be jumping for joy to be single and alone, happy to be divorced or in any other broken relationship and wear it as a badge of honor. Give her the POF standard advice that if she misses being in a relationship, get busy with a hobby. I still don't understand how a hobby is suppose to a substitute for a relationship, but who am I to argue with the POF gods? | |
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| why would someone do this in such a shor time
Posted: 6/28/2012 9:25:05 PM |
Come here looking for sex... you're gonna meet a lot of crazies!
That's an unfair correlation.
You know as well as any regular here that the crazies are equal opportunity daters and don't single out FWB/NSA opps.
OP, assuming the text was authentic, how do you know that the suicide attempt had anything to do with you?
Maybe her parents went through her text history and notified everyone in it. | |
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