| | SIngle dads with kids full time.Page 1 of 12 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) | | I am wondering why it has been so hard for me to meet a decent women who doesn't mind the fact that I have 2 kids ages 10 and 11 full time. Is there something wrong with a man that actually takes care of his kids, or is it just that women now a days are changing and do not want a responsible man. This is my whole problem with finding someone. Anyone have some incite on this or maybe some experience from a male point of view? | |
|
| |
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/28/2012 10:02:06 PM | | They have told me this is the reason and I guess I can understand to a certain degree. I have been raising my kids on my owe for sever years now and we do just fine. I am not looking for a women to be an instant mother or anything like that. I am just looking for someone that might be willing to be a role model as I have 2 girls and I am in no way good at teaching them how to be women LOL. It would just be nice to meet someone that doesn't run at the first sign of kids. I though men only did that LOL | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/28/2012 10:43:01 PM | | I had the same problem when I was a young single mom. Most men did not want to deal with raising my kids. It's tough out there.... | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/28/2012 10:58:19 PM | to be truthful, women are extreamly hyrocritcal....
a good one is really hard to find...I am shock and at awww that there are very rare...(a good woman)
sure they say they are a good one, but again I am shocked they are just not around....i do have faith and hope I might find one...but i am not holding my breath....
Im in the same boat as you, Im a single father.....I hope and pray you find a good woman...but dont hold your breath, just focus on the kiddo's | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/28/2012 11:48:37 PM | I have no problem with single dads raising there kids.
its nice to see men who care about their kids.
but I do prefer if they have kids around my son's age(16)
at my age I don't want to be dating a man who has young kids. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/29/2012 12:15:57 AM | | I prefer dating a man with kids, personally. They do not have to live with him, but he does need to be involved in raising them. I prefer this because 1) he knows exactly what he is getting into with a single mom who's ex is not involved 2) I can judge the type of parent he will be to my children by the way he raises his own and 3) he will be more understanding of the difficulties of balancing kids and dating. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/29/2012 4:16:31 AM | Really, it's difficult simply because anything that's an additional challenge for a potential mate to deal with, will reduce the number of people who are willing to take you on. Simple math.
In this sense, having children is no different from things like being bald at an early age, working the night shift, being away from home a lot because of how you make your living, or anything else you can think of.
No one who is no longer an independent, young, healthy, unencumbered person, is ever going to find it as easy to locate mates as they were before. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:50:32 AM | dude I feel ya, I've had full custody of my daughter since she was three months old, now she is three.
I don't have issues getting woman, but keeping a woman that wants a relationship is another story.
They claim they don't want to be stuffed around, that they want no games, a guy that has his head screwed on and isn't out to cause dramas.. you throw it to them on a silver platter and they give you the games etc. | |
|
| |
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/29/2012 4:33:51 PM | A. It's all a preference.. there are plenty of women who will date single fathers.. maybe you just aren't finding them..
B. Focus on your kids and not dating that's what's important
C. Individuals run from kids and responsibility not specific genders...
D. Single mothers are told to quit complaining and deal with it... maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander??
E. D is sorta a joke.. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:56:27 PM | | With so many single moms out there, I have a really hard time believing that you all are having a hard time finding each other, especially with activities and such. I don't know if Parents without Partners still exists, but I suggest that you look for it. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/30/2012 9:34:17 AM |
D. Single mothers are told to quit complaining and deal with it... maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander??
I have no problem with this advice! And as the primary custodial parent you have financial requirements and probably like the majority of custodial fathers no child support. What you might find interesting is single mothers with children complaining about what they do not have in terms of financial resources why they expect the traditional dating partner where you pay to take them out....as they may have problems even putting food on the table...or they might ask for some help paying the sitter costs....for the privilege of taking them out!
But there are those who will suggest you do not need to pay for their children....you just need to pay for them for the privilege of taking them out! After all they have children at home they have to provide for!
Traditional is great when they can get out of finacial contributions....but when they see it in the society they cry discrimination and talk of gender equality and accountablity! Well at least some do. What I found out were the ones who were unable to actually develope a career or work full time...which is based on the published numbers..50%
Given time you will meet a few incredible woman...I know I did...you just need to look through the chaff carefully. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/30/2012 9:53:52 AM | Funny how when a childfree woman expects this it's ok.. but a single mother does and it's wrong.. love the double standards. lol.
I don't know about the expecting the man to pay for a sitter.. i know men who have offered..but never one who was expected to. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/30/2012 2:18:56 PM | | Thus far it has been my personal experience that women who has child(ren) within a few years of age of your minor children are the best bet. With only two exceptions, every lady with whom I have gone on a date since becoming unattached has had one or more children in the 5 to 11 range (my daughter is 8). One exception has custody of her 7 year old granddaughter and the other had older kids but was interested in me because of my guitar collection. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/30/2012 3:43:44 PM | | I am also a single father full time and outside of my looks I know that's the reason why i can't find a good woman. But i guess theres no time for ****ing. Keep plugging along and hope | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/30/2012 5:01:16 PM | Tealwood, what the hell was that rant all about?? He didn't ask if he should expect his date to pay, he said he's having trouble FINDING WOMEN who want to be in a relationship... clearly you have some resentment issues.
OP- we're out here, looking for men who take care of their kids.
I am a single mom with full custody, and dating men with no children just doesn't work for me. Granted, with a full time dad finding a day and time we can both go out is more difficult... but anything worth having is worth waiting for. I'd rather date a single father once or twice a month that deal with a guy insisting on seeing me 2-4 times a week with no regard for my responsibilities. keep looking, there are women who want exactly what you are offering. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 6/30/2012 10:43:50 PM |
I am a single mom with full custody, and dating men with no children just doesn't work for me. Granted, with a full time dad finding a day and time we can both go out is more difficult... but anything worth having is worth waiting for. I'd rather date a single father once or twice a month that deal with a guy insisting on seeing me 2-4 times a week with no regard for my responsibilities. keep looking, there are women who want exactly what you are offering.
Completely agree with all of this. Keep looking and eventually you'll find her. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 7/1/2012 1:08:00 AM | | i would say your probably attracted to the wrong type of woman.(due to my psychology training)youre probably going for someone that is thin, younger and attractive. These types tend to be more monetary and self-centered,so since they want to be the ceter of attention they dont want to compete for your attention. I would suggest you broaden your search to someone a little less physically attractive and more family orientated like a single mom. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 7/1/2012 1:32:19 AM |
i would say your probably attracted to the wrong type of woman.(due to my psychology training)youre probably going for someone that is thin, younger and attractive. These types tend to be more monetary and self-centered,so since they want to be the ceter of attention they dont want to compete for your attention. I would suggest you broaden your search to someone a little less physically attractive and more family orientated like a single mom.
Whoa!! I'm sorry, but for someone with psychology training, you're viewpoint is exceptionally skewed and judgmental. Being young, thin and attractive are not character flaws, nor do those traits define who wants to date a man with children or who does not. The vast majority of single mothers in the US are between the ages of 14 and 30. They may or may not be thin/attractive, they may or may not wish to date a single father. Preferences are just that. And where are you getting your information that these young/thin/attractive women are more monetary based and more self-centered than women who are in their 40s? I think you've got it exactly opposite. Most of us in our 40s have raised our children or don't wish to have children, are centered on our careers and have likely many more personal preferences regarding those with young children than the ladies who are younger. I'm just really baffled by this whole statement. ****shaking head****
~OP~ I can only answer for myself. I am not step-mother material. Period. I'd be lying if I ever said to anyone that I'd be OK dating a man with children, especially small children. I respect all that single parents go through, as I was once a single parent myself. I'm having a hard time believing that there aren't many single Moms out there that would love to meet/date a man with children of his own. I read it all the time in here ~ most single Moms would not be opposed to single Dads. Maybe something else is going on that you're overlooking. Maybe your interests just are in line with those you are attracted to. Maybe you just haven't ran across someone who shares an equal physical appearance attraction. Maybe you need to focus more in your profile on the things you enjoy than to tell the ladies your troubles meeting someone because of your children. It could simply be that your approach is off. I seriously doubt it's only because you're a single father. Good luck to ya.  | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 7/1/2012 4:35:34 AM | | I just wanted to say that it's hard for everyone whether you are a single mom or single dad. I haven't been on a date in almost a year. Sometimes I actually prefer a single father because men without kids can't relate to anything I have going on. It can make it a little rough though finding free time together. I'm also surprised you have such a hard time because they are older and can take care of themselves. Usually it's the people like myself with younger children that have such a rough time. Try to stay possitive. I know it's hard...trust me. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 7/1/2012 7:23:00 AM | I'm beginning to wonder if this situation isn't part of the reason I don't get many responses as well. I have custody of both my teenage sons.
That said, It's probably a good thing if a woman who has a problem with a dad with custody not responding. It probably saves a lot of drama in the long run. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 7/1/2012 7:27:23 AM |
Anyone have some incite on this or maybe some experience from a male point of view?
Great post Green eyes....
Tealwood, what the hell was that rant all about?? He didn't ask if he should expect his date to pay, he said he's having trouble FINDING WOMEN who want to be in a relationship... clearly you have some resentment issues.
And then he asked if anyone had experience from a males perspective....now I have met the profile type suggested by greeneyes....and easily understood why they felt that way and supported why they felt that way. As I will also not want to date somone who has younger children....not that anyone in my age bracket would have that problem.
I also have met single woman who were looking for financially stable established men who could be prospective partners in the next stage of their lives....they had successful careers and were established and did not want to be primary financial providers. Or they did not need a free loader!
And I have no problem with that rejection or dismissal either. After all I have a teenager who is still a year away from university and the associated costs and financial commitment that requires.
And then you have the single mother with no viable financial resources herself who might take on any single father or male who can provide for herself and her child or children. One can always suggest the primary attraction was the $$$ they were not providing themselves!
I would suggest any custodial father would have great problems dating a single mother still a student or a student again as he already has financial responsibilities and might be reluctant to assume hers.
All scenarios and potential issues that a father with custody can encounter when he is looking for prospective new long term partners.
The other problem for custodial fathers over non custodial fathers is time. The non custodial is only commited to his children every other weekend where the custodial father is either full time....or only has 2 weekends a month free. Difficult to co-ordinate with two custodial parents when you desire keeping the children out of the loop.
And the money is all part of the dating scene just like it is when married. I have known a few custodial fathers who struggled to date as they just did not have the resources after they had finished paying for the things that was required as a custodial parent. It is all part of the struggles custodial fathers experience when dating.
Whoa!! I'm sorry, but for someone with psychology training, you're viewpoint is exceptionally skewed and judgmental. Being young, thin and attractive are not character flaws,
One can also look at the pics and profiles of those who make comments. One after all can come up with plenty of rationalizations and excuses.
One can look at the suggestion of occupation or career or lack of a career when trying to put perspective to why or where they are comming from in their views.
There is no problem finding single woman to date...what can be challenging is finding suitable or viable woman to date...just like it should be in finding suitable employed and financially capable single men in which a woman can date and have a family with. | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 7/1/2012 8:34:11 AM | | It's a shame you live in another country or I would pursue you....I find it to be a strong quality when a man takes the responsiblilty to raise their own child. I wish more men would step up and be a part of their childrens life. My daughter is lucky if she sees hers 1 time a month!!! Single dads: pat yourself on the back- and realize that there are women out there, like myself who finds your parenting admirable!!!!! | |
|
| SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 7/2/2012 11:55:56 AM | I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to find a wonderful male role model for my daughter and a wonderful stable man for myself. Blended family, no family, I don't care. All I want is someone to treat her as their own daughter, show her that there are decent men in the world and how she should be treated when she gets older and starts gasp dating. How a bad situation can turn good. Obviously more to this but I won't list it here.
I think every single parents is looking for that co-parenting when you're doing it alone. You don't want an insta-mommy/daddy but someone who's willing to step up to that plate and play the role to an extent with your children. Ok, shouldn't say every single parent...but I do.
I guess its to each their own. I want a wonderful man who's willing to take on fatherhood in the coming years-even though its kind of contradicting itself-I'm not saying be daddy just accept the role that you have to be a good father figure. Some want a fling and attachment and get scared when kid is mentioned. As I keep seeing everyone posting...weed em out. It gets old and tiresome but I'm hoping in the end it makes it for better. Good luck! | |
|
Home
login 
