| | Does how much you spend on a date matter?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Its would be interesting to hear views.
I have run the spectrum of dates from the quick cup of coffee to the meet in the afternoon and end up having and evening meal. From experience however I have found that what impresses one ends up as being a joke passed around friends to another.
In general Ive found that the more you spend and think that it has been a great date with a follow up has actually been the opposite and have received a snotty email the next day.
On the other hand Ive also had situatins where we have gone for a 2 for a tenner in a lovely place and I have been laughed at behind my back for being tight fisted even though I paid. (not all men are as as well off as some ladies think )
Opinions.
Disregard the first date is a meet and a quick coffee. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 3:41:32 AM | | I'd say the "ladies" in question are shallow and bordering on the nasty and you've had a lucky escape. How much you spend is insignificant. In my humble opinion - first date = You do something you BOTH want to do at a place you agree on and you pay half. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 3:53:05 AM | Being unemployed makes that a tough question, on a first date I would normally expect about £50-£60 but I would only have that much because it being a first date would mean I had been able to save it up. Dates after that are harder as after bills, food etc I only have about £20 a week left over which would need to be spread over how ever many dates we had in a week.
I do wonder whether the lack of ladies interested 2 in 9 months is connected to the fact they realize I do not have the funds to spend more on them. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 4:49:37 AM |
Being unemployed makes that a tough question, on a first date I would normally expect about £50-£60 but I would only have that much because it being a first date would mean I had been able to save it up. Dates after that are harder as after bills, food etc I only have about £20 a week left over which would need to be spread over how ever many dates we had in a week.
I do wonder whether the lack of ladies interested 2 in 9 months is connected to the fact they realize I do not have the funds to spend more on them.
£50 to £60 on a first date in yours or any ones circumstances similar to yours is ludicrous IMHO, why would you even contemplate spending that amount on someone your meeting for the first time, why not just meet for a coffee and a chat or what about a pub meal, 2 for a tenner and a couple of drinks and go 50/50.
What you spend on a date should not matter, whether it be a first or a second etc, before even meeting someone for a date your cards should be on the table explaining your financial circumstances, if their understanding and still meet you, you may have a chance with them, if they don't want to meet you after you've explained, then were they worth meeting anyway ?, and you've saved a few quid. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:17:36 AM | Personally I preferred 2 go dutch - don't want to sponge or be considered 'bought & paid for'
So the two for a tenner should be a winner BUT somehow it does feel a little cheap ..
As ever I fear communications will be key, an explanation that you dont have money to burn & a negotiation to go somewhere you will both enjoy without breaking the bank is as good a way to get to know somebody as blowing your weekly budget lol esp if spending on a grand scale is unsustainable | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:10:01 AM | | For me it matters in that I hate both extremes. Showing off/desperate to please/impress in one end and cheap/stingy/tight in the other. I will find out by the second/third date and then its goodbye and good luck! | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:42:33 AM | Interestingly enough there are some people who like to impress but as is all to often shown on here there are the money grabbers.
In these economic times 2 for a tenner can produce some reasonable offerings in some varying locations but they are better than A McDonalds !! Ok maybe not a la carte and pretty standard fare but I know places where you could not cook that quality at home for the same amount.
I don't know about others but I am offered the Wowcher, Groupon and KGB meal discounts where you can experience an up market for a faction of the price. Does it really matter that much if you turn up with a voucher as opposed to £20 notes? I know it is an issue with some but in my opinion I would rather be taken to a better establishment on a printed off voucher than be stuck in greasy spoon because thats all we could afford.
Its not stingy...its common sense and those who think otherwise must more money than sense. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:49:57 AM | | I think those vouchers are a great idea and cannot see the difference with regards having money instead. It makes sense to use them, as you say a great experience at a cheaper rate, but not scrimping on the experience. I had a free voucher to the cinema and used that on a second 'meet', does that make me mean? We both enjoyed the film and I bought the refreshments, so I don't think it is scrimping on paying for someone. They didn't seem offended in anyway either! | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:57:38 AM | | The idea of trying to impress somebody is completely ridiculous to me. Spend what you can afford to spend. In these days when every Tom,****and Harriet has got a credit card, it's very easy to be misled about someones apparent wealth. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:53:40 AM | I think it only matters if someone makes a fuss. I will always offer to pay my half, but if he wants to buy me lunch, I'm not going to argue.. but if he insists we split everything to the pence or says "its your turn next time", then I might be put off a little.. but only in that I don't want to date someone who isn't generous about life in general.. if he nit picks at 30p on a bill, I can't see him being generous in bed.
Edit.. excuse me for missing out the "lol" or :) Good grief! I forgot there are forumers without a sense of humour. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:00:39 AM |
if he nit picks at 30p on a bill, I can't see him being generous in bed.
oh, good, grief!
i dont like meals on first dates as I am a very messy eater and rush food down before it goes cold ... and before anyone suggests salad ... no! | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:21:26 AM |
I do wonder whether the lack of ladies interested 2 in 9 months is connected to the fact they realize I do not have the funds to spend more on them.[/unquote]
no offense,but personally to me it wouldnt be less funs to spend on me,as i expect to go halves or alternate the cost,but with somene on benefits,even going to the cinema would be difficult,and i personally don't fancy sitting in watching corrie every single night because of money,and i say this knowing how easily any of us could lose our jobs the way things are at the moment | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:29:03 AM | i always thought the idea of a date was to actually see the person in question, not what people can get out of it in the way of a meal or what ever.
two meals for a tenner aint a bad idea or even just a sandwich in the park with a flask .... actually always suggest something like that and if they turn their nose up at it then just saves me hassle in the long run. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 10:11:32 AM | | I think it depends. Are you going out for a date or out for dinner? the latter would be more appropriate as things develop. Also if the opposite sex thought that spending less was "tight" perhaps they would not be worthy of a date! | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 10:36:08 AM | It is interesting that the independent ladies expect the blokes to pay.
Personally i would be reluctant to date anyone who had not offered to pay half as it is not the last century...whether I insisted we did I am less sure....depends on the cost
If I did and they did not offer to pay at the second then there would be no third.
I believe the enders are equal and therefore we do the same and ould find it an unappealing trait to want to be equal when it suited but leave me to pay for everything. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 10:44:53 AM | It does`nt really matter too much, not that i`m "well off", far far from it !, but it does`nt matter if its a sit down on a bench with chips and a coke, or a proper meal in a carvery or such like,
The last time i met a woman online, we arranged a "coffee and chat" meet, that was 70 miles away, and about an hour and a half ish driving, it cost more to get there, than i spent there, but, that was irrelevant, it was an enjoyable 2 hours, even if nothing became of it, thats internet dating :O) | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 11:08:49 AM | | I've found a lot of women expect a guy to pay for dates. Expensive for us and they get a free night out.... Some of them seem to think that by agreeing to go on a date they are somehow doing you a favour and expect the earth. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 11:21:58 AM | I've found a lot of women expect a guy to pay for dates. Expensive for us and they get a free night out.... Some of them seem to think that by agreeing to go on a date they are somehow doing you a favour and expect the earth.
If you don't mind paying then fine, but before taking them out on a date if anyone expects them to pay half surely they should let them know what they do expect, it clears up any kind of confusion that may arise during the date.
If they expected a man to pay in full for a date especially a first date or one from a dating site, I personally would not entertain them. If I chose to pay the full bill without them expecting me to pay then that's a different matter.IMO. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 11:24:18 AM | | I pay because I feel it's just expected. I won't go on dates if money is an issues because I expect I'll have to pay for the night. Now and again some women do surprise me by insisting to pay half. But it's rare. They like the aspect of being 'looked after' It makes them feel more worthy. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 1:37:45 PM | | I just spent £60 quid on a night out dinner date - and because he didn't get his leg over at the end of the night, I have not even had a thank you for a nice evening out text - Oh well one lives and learns, won't be doing that again | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 2:03:35 PM | I can't say it matters to me. I was of the opinion that whoever asks the other out on a 'date' first should buy the first coffee/drinks?
Personally I always offer to get another one in before the drinks are empty (whether I'm out with friends or on a date) it'd be rude not to. I definitely don't expect anyone to pay for me. As for the 2-4-1 or 2 for a tennar places I love them, even better if it's a carvery for 3.99! I might sound boring but I'm not a big fan of fancy places, I prefer a cosy pub/restaurant with a nice atmosphere. Give me a cheap pub chain any day, it's the person I'm interested in! | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 3:06:34 PM | | One first date I went on, we met at a local beauty spot, and went for a walk, walking gear and all. Stopped off at a little cafe for a cup of tea, so not much money spent, but we had a lovely time. Actually decided at the end of the walk, to continue on to a country pub and have lunch. It doesn't have to be anything grand on a first date, do whatever you both feel like doing, sometimes simple is best. | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/29/2012 11:40:19 PM | ^^^^ Would meeting at a local beauty spot be in the countryside!?!! Not sure that would be my first choice of date...safety issues...but maybe that is just me...
For me, no food on 1st date...nothing to do with money, if things are not going well then you can make it a quick date.... but the problem I have is that I drink around 2 litres of water by mid- afternoon, I don’t feel that thirsty later in the day and although I believe my manners to be okay, I always forget to ask if they want a second drink...which of course means that I am then prompted, if I remember to get them, then I do (but must admit, by the time my last date offered, got up and turned round, I had full view of his backside :-)...and I don’t believe to be a shallow person but eyes and backsides are my weakness....and both of his were really nice! :-) and totally forgot to offer to pay......had to go for a 3rd drink :-) – which I had made a mental note to remember to pay for!!!) | |
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| Does how much you spend on a date matter?
Posted: 6/30/2012 12:54:56 AM | Would meeting at a local beauty spot be in the countryside!?!! Not sure that would be my first choice of date...safety issues...but maybe that is just me...
In answer to your question, no it wasn't deep in the hills lol. It was a popular reservoir, surrounded by pubs, eateries etc. We walked round the reservoir which only took an hour, Sunday lunchtime, loads of people around. Also I drove myself there, as I do with any date. Understand why you asked that though. On that note, I actually do alot of hillwalking on my own anyway, as the like minded friends aren't always available when I am.... which does send the shiver down some people's spine.
Back on topic ...... how the date is arranged should be up to the two people involved, and maybe some diplomatic negotation as to who pays for what. Personally I always offer to pay my half whether it's a first or subsequent date, but if the man insists, for whatever reason, then I let him, no more said. I always make sure I take my turn in buying the drinks, I think that's only fair. | |
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