|Quick questionPage 1 of 1 |
|Is the last line of my profile a turn-off? |
I mean I'm looking for a relationship but I also want a man that is already ready to be a father?
Thanks to all the help I got from you lovely people on my first post in this forum, I got a lot more messages and interest. Since editing my profile again I only get profile views. I did get a message but from that message I can tell they were referring to my profile before the edit.
Posted: 6/29/2012 12:33:48 PM
|Were do I start... Let's see remove the 3rd picture or cut your friend out, you only want guys from 20 to 25 contacting you and you want them to be ready to be fathers..|
Good luck w/that.... Guys that age don't want to be fathers are you kidding me?
And you are to young to be looking on line for dates you should be going out w/friends, or meeting guys in school..on-line dating is not the same as RLD
It requires you to have tough skin, you seem like a very nice girl stay in the forums and learn there is lots of knowledge here that will help you out. I would remove that last line no doubt :) happy fishing and good luck.
Posted: 6/29/2012 2:21:48 PM
|Agreed. Not a lot of guys in your limited age range are ready financially or emotionally for that. And for the question 'Do you want kids' you've answered Undecided? That should be corrected.|
Why not try dating a guy with a child first and see how that works?
Posted: 6/29/2012 2:37:36 PM
|Ahh. My ex was always saying about not being financially ready and keeps telling me in 10 years he will be ready. Which he has been saying for 3 years. First he said he would be ready at 25, then it was 30(this was when he was 20) he is now 22 and all he ever says now is in 10 years. I can't buy the money excuse from him now. He even told me he has over 10k and is only 22.|
I've gone through a confused period with wanting children. I've always wanted them. Then after 2 years of having sex and not getting pregnant, it's got to me and with him also changing his mind on when to have them, I once decided I don't want them at all. That feeling only lasted around 2 months. I want to have them if I can have them.
I don't really know any guys with children except for friends of a friend. I know lots of people my age and younger are having them and a lot of them actually have the father stick around.
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:46:45 PM
|It really sounds like you're desperate to pop out a baby no matter who the father is. There is never a guarantee the guy will stick around. |
I also know a lot of girls your age having babies and they all - without exception - say they'd rather have waited. Do you have your career set up? Or are you expecting the guy to support you and your baby indefinitely? Guys in your age range just don't have the career backing for that large a commitment and 10k is nothing. Latest stats indicate it takes about a half-million (US) dollars to raise a kid to age 18. Unless you AND the Dad have careers, you'll be stuck on the dole or living with your parents forever. Whatever. It's just too much information for any guy at this level - you haven't even had coffee yet!
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:11:12 PM
|To me it seems rare that the meat and potatoes of a relationship can be guessed from the start. I've ended up in the Friendzone when both of us wanted the opposite. Had children and settled with a women I thought was only for the night. She was commited to not having kids. Had an operation to make sure; we had to pay several thousands to reverse that. |
Apologizes for pointless analogies. What I mean is because the end zone isn't easy to anticipate its better to take each step of the relationship seriously, even if a specific goal is imagined. That way the unemployed dude who says he'll never settle won't be such a surprise when he lands a position managing a plant and buys a mansion for you and the pooks.
Also "student", simply as a profession, isn't such a great start to hunting for a father, not even a boyfriend, but just a guy who'd like to be a dad. It comes off as a mechanism for weird interdependency. That doesn't mean put things off - cause (another life lesson) I started a family unemployed, was just very lucky to land a job 20 days before the first child was born.
Its better to use pof for what its good at - simply making contact with compatible strangers. The guys most likely to seriously consider the children situation will be scared off by bold and direct plans to hike down that path immediately.
What I'm trying to say is that you'd be best to get more and better photos. Liven up your about me with real info. Be clear about what you're doing so a picture emerges of your situation, hopes, dreams and dislikes. Allow the viewer to gain a perspective of you in 4D. That will bring in more interest, generate contact points and allow you better opportunity to find a guy that you can be passionate about, maybe also shares some goals.
Posted: 6/30/2012 10:18:41 PM
|Speaking as a guy in the age range you're looking for, the last line of your profile is a little off-putting. It sounds like you want to have a baby ASAP, and very few guys are looking for that (which may explain the lack of messages). |
You might consider revising the last statement to say something along the lines of "I'd like to start a family down the road and I'm looking for a guy who wants the same". That's just my opinion, but I think it gets the point across without scaring most guys away (hopefully).
Hope this helps! Best of luck in your fishing.
Posted: 6/30/2012 11:52:54 PM
|It's redundant because it already says in your info that you want children.|