| | One Line Replies (from Men)Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | Hi, I am very new to this site, and although I have felt very flattered and surprised by the amount of replies I have had from my initial profile, why oh why are so many just one line or even two words? I have tried to get into online conversations to try and get to know men before I agree to a date, but again it's just afew words which tell me nothing about that person. I have been advised to try and get to know the man who is interested in me as much as ossible before agreeing to a date. I have also tried to engage in chatting to men online, but again the replys are so weak and mostly uninteresting. As a newbie what am I, if anything doing wrong to expect a reasonable online chat?
Chessie xx | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:10:25 PM | | The first couple of messages I send to a woman are usually brief. At that point you are just trying to see if she is interested. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:15:23 PM | | I agree with message 2.To me there is no point in anything longer if i am not going to get a response back or that they are not interested | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:15:41 PM | There are alot of men just sending out lots of short emails to first get someone of interest.
Then there are alot of those men that don't really care to be typing and therefore are not the greatest conversationalists.
Everyone has to weed through alot of chaff to get to the wheat.
Expect more confusing questions on why it is what it is with online dating and good luck.
Oh...be on guard. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:20:30 PM | | I usually tell them everything including my foot size so they dont run into problems like this.... I also bring up ex girlfriends...... I usually do that on the first date too. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:24:23 PM | There's a setting you can choose that requires a certain number of characters are used before someone can send you an email. It's not a perfect solution, but it will weed out someone with little interest.
Women do the same thing. I hardly know what to do when I get an email that says Hi or Hello and that's it. I feel like they put no effort into it so why should I?
There's an old saying that you only have one chance to make a good first impression. Some people don't get that. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:46:56 PM | Guys and gals are both guilty of the one-liner.
I've had many gals send a very short sentence...goes both ways.
Men are women do this because:
They are simply "fishing".
They don't want to invest more than a sentence if you never respond.
They are expecting a witty reply or open ended question from you.
It's the 'ol cut and paste that 50 other gals got.
They are shy or socially inep
They are creepers looking to hook you with a follow up or seeing how desperate their target is
Don't let a short message stop you if their profile, overall, was appealing. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:08:19 PM | This is not gender specific. I have gotten "hi" as a message, or many similar things. Keep in mind a lot of people have technology at their fingertips so they are used to treating this like instant messaging and all that. Someone like me only accesses this at an actual computer.
Their messages may be "weak" to you but did you read their profile? If the profile is weak I can see brushing it off. But the messaging should be kept simple because people who message too long tend to get their hopes up about the other person and then one or both of them get disappointed when meeting in person because they formed their own perception of the other person. Online chatting is void of many elements that are needed in conversation to really get an impression of who you are meeting. You miss out on their tone of voice, how they carry a real conversation vs. an online one, their body language, and what they really look like. A lot of people online put up fake pictures and when you meet them it is horror. Many people also lie in their profiles so there is not much you can really get to know them. The initial meet is where you really start getting to know them.
I do not converse on this site for a long period of time. I typically give contacts 5 fairly simple messages max and if they don't want to talk on the phone or meet in person I move on. If they "want to get to know me better" they should actually read my profile(you'd be surprised how many people don't read profiles). It's allowed me to meet many people without the hassle of spending time at a computer messaging someone who will not meet me. If a person tells me they are unsure about meeting in person I typically don't think they should have a profile on the site at all because they're just going to say the same thing to everyone else anyway. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:11:56 PM | What do you want a damm shakespearian sonnet?
Personally I am done wasting any amount of time writing something that has a high probability of being unreplied to. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:16:26 PM | One of the main reasons is that most people are terrible at written correspondence. How many people still do penpals? Or even had a penpal while growing up?
Letter writing is a lost art in many ways.
Aside from that, the reasons above. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:20:27 PM | Some women do this to. I write a letter. Ask a few questions trying to strike up a conversation. And the reply i get is along the lines of "yes" "im good" "no"
i just figure they are boring people with no conversational skills and move on to the next one | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:31:17 PM | I usually reply back with, "Why such a long e-mail" ? lol
Fish is a great place to learn about all of the different personalities. What an opportunity to meet interesting
people and make new friends.
You just can't take internet dating too serious. It's really important to approach this with a sense of humor. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:36:14 PM | | I have my message settings on '300 characters plus' which means that anyone making initial contact has to write 300 characters or more. This doesn't always work e.g.an hour ago, I got a one line message from someone who incredibly copied some of my profile into the message in order to meet the character requirement - unbelievable! Anyway, I just delete one liners. If they can't be bothered to say anything more than "nice profile, if you like mine, shall we chat"', then it's obvious we would not be suited. What I find really weird is despite stating in my profile that I will respond to those who take the trouble to write a meaningful message AND the 300 character plus setting, I still get messges from people who ignore my request. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:42:01 PM | | I have always tried to send a first message in response to something in their profile. Usually a compliment and/or something we have in common. More than just a few words and have had some positive replies. One or two words to me speak "lazy." | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:00:48 PM | I can only speak for myself =)
I don't reply to messages that are short..."hi",'hey','whats up' etc.
It doesn't show me they're really interested...it feels like a
'meh whatever' vibe. I want someone upbeat and fun...not mehhh whatever. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:51:32 PM | Hi, I am very new to this site, and although I have felt very flattered and surprised by the amount of replies I have had from my initial profile
I am your age.
First - I don't think you are being clear. You are getting a LOT of initial messages based on the fact that you are "new" to the site. These "fishing" emails are not considered "replies."
MANY guys (particularly younger) will spam new women (particularly older) just to see if they can provoke a response.
They are not interested in you, personally, they are just spamming and most likely not reading your profile at all.
Let me guess ... Your "replies" say stuff like:
UR Hott
hey, sexy
I'm down, RU?
U like d!ck?
I have 10 inches
etc.
One way to avoid these types of messages is to hide your profile for a month, then re-emerge after the "bloom" has worn off.
In the other case, if you are actually sending out messages and only getting 1-2 word responses, they aren't interested.
Don't waste your time.
P.S. You are "separated." That may be off-putting to potential dates. Also, go get a profile review (you have some misspellings and can improve your profile). Good luck! | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:18:51 PM | | Brief seems to work better to start. People who use online a lot in other ways are used to short messages. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:41:20 PM | When I was on another dating site, most women that contacted me first sent me "winks" or brief generic emails such as "How are you?" or "I liked your profile". The short initial emails didn't bother me. I think the intent of the first email should be seeing if there is any initial interest in the profile and photos. If I liked their photos and there wasn't anything in the profile that is a dealbreaker, I would send a positive reply.
Some people ( especially people that are new to internet dating ) might not be sure what to say in a first email. Other people might have written dozens or hundreds of longer first emails got very few positive replies. I think many people will open up and write longer / more detailed 2nd emails after mutual initial interest has been established. Having said that, if the subsequent emails were boring, then I would lose interest. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/30/2012 7:29:45 AM | If you're going to go the route of requiring men to write men to write you longer messages (either by request in your profile or using the automated way), then it would be REALLY nice if you respond when one sends you a high quality long message -- even if you're not attracted to him at all, you should at the very least acknowledge his effort.
Not once has a woman who has requested or required longer emails in her profile ever responded to one of my long emails, which is just ultra-frustrating and why I now tend to shy away from women's profiles who demand that -- I mean, there are 30,000 women in my area and it takes a considerable amount of time to write a truly creative email that I could be using to write 10 women that don't care how much I write so to have an email like that be treated the same (or worse) than a one sentence email? Just think about it.
Obviously I could write most men under the table but it's never worth it for a first contact email. I never stoop to "Hi, what's up?" even if a woman's profile has literally nothing in it (I will say something about her location or occupation if I can't come up with something else original), but I learned a long time ago that sending lengthy messages is no more likely to get you a response than one or two sentence emails. Attraction is the single most important component of online dating and if it's not there, then there is no Pulitzer Prize-winning prose that is going to get you a date.
You also have to ask yourself: in real life, do I care about a man's writing skills when deciding whether to date him? Of course not. Nobody does, not even professional writers (I'm a professional writer and couldn't care less and have very rarely dated another good writer).
All that said, if you respond to a one word email from an attractive guy, and all he responds again with a couple of words, I'd move on to the next one, because it's one thing sending out short initial emails because the numbers game on POF is brutal, but it's quite another when you actually get a fish on the line and don't know how to "play with it." I have extremely high tolerance and patience for such nonsense because I'm a pretty desperate guy and don't have very many women writing me anyway, and even I sometimes eventually give up on a woman (especially if she's not very attractive) if all she's sending me is a string of one sentence disinterested responses. You're not desperate and you don't have to put up with that for even a second and any guy that doesn't know how to communicate with a woman after discovering that she's actually interested in him is undoubtedly obtuse.
For the record, I've been on here continuously for 5 years and have never once gotten more than a sentence or two as a first contact email from a woman, and more often-than-not, 1-3 worders. Which on rare occasion are misleading -- my longest POF email dialogue started with a woman who just said "How was your weekend?" All of her emails after that were paragraphs to pages long. (Strangely, I never ended up meeting her -- she was super-flaky, and arguably wasted a year of my time on here -- but she was definitely the best writer I've encountered on POF! Which just proves being a good writer means nothing in dating.) | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/30/2012 7:44:17 AM | | It is a two sided coin...Sometimes send out long message board type messages and no response, shorter one liners sometimes I get no response....wait what was the point ohh I get no responses... :( | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/30/2012 7:53:38 AM | A good message does not have to be long.
I want to know that the person has read my profile, but other than that, I don't care much. I'm going to read theirs and decide if I think I might be interested, and then respond accordingly. A message is just an indication of interest, and for lots of us, that interest should be more than simply photo-based--so some attention to the profile (which can be a pack of lies, but it is all we have to go on), is de rigeur.
If a guy is just messaging every girl he thinks he could shag (ie, no attention to profiles in their message to you), then he does not really merit much consideration. If he has at least taken the time to read the profile and mentioned it, I would do the courtesy of the same, again, at the least.
So don't worry about those not reading/mentioning your profile, and happy fishing. | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/30/2012 7:55:47 AM | It goes like this.
"Hey, what's up? How's your day going?'
She responds:
Then I reply:
"Hey nice jugs. Would you like to meet?"
She responds:
Then I reply:
"Look I think we have awesome chemistry. Can I send you a photo of my penis. I swear to god it has not been photoshopped."
She responds: | |
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| One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 6/30/2012 8:20:04 AM | I want to know that the person has read my profile, but other than that, I don't care much. I'm going to read theirs and decide if I think I might be interested, and then respond accordingly. A message is just an indication of interest, and for lots of us, that interest should be more than simply photo-based--so some attention to the profile (which can be a pack of lies, but it is all we have to go on), is de rigeur.
What you are saying isn't good enough for some women though. Suppose a man wrote this on his initial email. "Hey I noticed that you like rock music. What are some of your favorite bands?" This message clearly shows he read her profile and asked her a question about something in her profile. However it wouldn't pass some women email filters because there are less than 100 characters in ths email. | |
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