| | Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned RingPage 1 of 1 | It's been four months since my breakup and I've dated, I've grown, and to a point where I thought I was okay with the breakup. In the last week I've started to feel somewhat like when it first occurred. I called a friend of mine and we talked. I was supposed to get the ring from him and not my ex. He told me, "Oh he asked for it back and pawned it to fix his car." Apparently he only got 20$ out if it and did it anyways! How should I feel about this?
We don't talk because last time we talked I kind of spit the truth at him... 1. He's almost 40 and hangs around people my age. That's fine but he does need SOME friends his own age. 2. I told him he needs to start taking care of his health as a diabetic and not drink/get deliberately drunk. 3. He really shouldn't be involved with a women that is taken. This is all true and needed to be said from a friend point of view and he basically got his****kicked in the dirt and told me he didn't want to contact me again.
So now our friends wedding next year is going to be all screwed up because we are in the wedding party. He doesn't talk to me and I drive by and see him outside ALL the time. And we have mutual friends.....
I don't know if I should contact him and try to make amends AGAIN, I don't have his number. Or leave it alone, what should I be doing and feeling here? I haven't cried over this in months but today I did. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:48:24 PM | You need to detach. None of what he does is any of your business anymore. Stay away from him, and have no contact for six months or so.
You'll think more clearly then.
Don't worry about next year, live today.
If the world ends in December, you'll have wasted the last five months of your life worrying for nothing. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:51:14 PM | I was supposed to get the ring from him and not my ex. He told me, "Oh he asked for it back and pawned it to fix his car." Apparently he only got 20$ out if it and did it anyways! How should I feel about this?
That you didn't get the golden ring? That you say you were engaged to a man, but are seeking a woman? That school is out and there is not much to do over the summer?
That you hang around with drunks and spit at them? That not much you have posted here is believable?
My advice would be to leave that older guy alone, sounds like he has enough problems.
Find someone closer to your age that you share common interests with, like writing stories.
Feel however you want but I feel like not paying any more attention or playing further.
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:51:20 PM | You're stalking him - STOP it.
It's not up to you if he drinks, abuses his illness, is involved with a woman that's taken, you driving by his house ALL the time etc. Leave him alone and get on with your own healing and life. STAY out of his life and mind your own business! You have broken up with him...get lost! You're on a dating site and you're listed as single. Move on!
You WILL get over this. This, too, shall pass. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:51:53 PM | I am kind of confused here.
Are you talking about your friend or your ex?
You broke up, and called your friend to get the ring back from your ex, and your ex pawned the ring.
Then you say "we don't talk."
But that was after you typed about talking to your friend.
But you were talking to your friend about your ex.
So now I don't know if you are still talking about your ex, or your friend.
I am assuming the OP is about your friend because he's involved with a taken woman.
If it is your friend you are talking about then you didn't really spit the truth at him, you simply ejaculated your opinion onto him.
It's not all true, and didn't need to be said.
Because as you say he is 40. Not 4. And probably not retarded.
Being his friend doesn't translate into being his mother.
So now our friends wedding next year is going to be all screwed up because we are in the wedding party.
Then maybe you should call him and leave a voicemail saying "I don't want our problems to affect our friends wedding. So one of us should recuse ourselves from the duties while they have time to find a replacement. If I don't hear from you by a week from today, then I am going to assume you aren't going to recuse yourself so I will contact (whomever) and let them know that I am worried about possibly hurting their ceremony through bad feelings so they should find someone else. I'll still attend, I just won't be in a position where trouble could affect our friends."
I don't have his number
Maybe Facebook, or contact one of your mutual friends and tell them you lost his number. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:04:50 PM |
I broke up with my fiancee
Sorry to hear that, abelian.
OT
Just let it go, OP. If your ex has things to learn, best he do it on his own and not with you blasting in his ear. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 6/30/2012 2:31:34 AM | | Next time you drive by him, shoot him with a paint ball gun, make it yellow for coward or black for his evil heart. Or you could just smile and wave, take the high road, you'll be looking down at him. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 6/30/2012 5:57:22 AM |
We don't talk because last time we talked I kind of spit the truth at him... 1. He's almost 40 and hangs around people my age. That's fine but he does need SOME friends his own age. 2. I told him he needs to start taking care of his health as a diabetic and not drink/get deliberately drunk. 3. He really shouldn't be involved with a women that is taken. This is all true and needed to be said from a friend point of view and he basically got his****kicked in the dirt and told me he didn't want to contact me again.
Wow. What a good little friend you were to "spit" all these things at him. And, why is the "women that is taken" involved with another guy, anyway??? You must be so proud of your clever self, kicking his ass into the dirt that way. Guess you showed him what's what.
What that was was his face going into the dirt as he dove into it dodging the big bullet that is you.
I do hope you can have enough respect for the friend that wants you in the wedding to be civil to the guy and not create any more drama during the wedding preparations and the wedding itself. Remember, it's their day, not yours. Try really hard to be mature and not obligate yourself to be someone else's dutiful friend and kick them into the dirt, too. Try to save it for after the wedding, though I know all those people there making up the audience must be soooo tempting.... | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 7/1/2012 9:44:16 AM | | I wouldn't put too much thought into the ring, your focus should be for you to be moving forward instead of looking behind you. Abelian, at least you got the ring back, pawn it if you change your mind about someone buying the diamond maybe it will make someone else life happy having it. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 7/2/2012 10:11:08 PM | | Don't pawn it until you are sure you are ready.. I sold my engagement ring and now wish I hadn't ...it was a good memory, too, in some ways. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 7/2/2012 10:24:11 PM | $20...that must of been some nice ring. Big spender.
Anyway, in your OP, you explain what a loser he was, why are you so worried about him. You dodged a bullet. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:23:17 AM | I stood on the seawall and threw my ring into the Gulf of Mexico. That was much more satisfying than pawning/selling it.
I hope some old fart with a metal detector finds it, make his day. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:05:59 AM | It is none of your business what he did with the ring unless you bought it. An engagement ring is a gift that has to be given back to the donor. They are a gift given with condition.
He is your ex move on... and really at 21 you want to get involved with a 40 yo man who frankly sounds like a train wreck.
Abelian... sorry to hear about your engagement. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:53:58 AM | I agree with Rockabilly et al- you're not together anymore. Get out of his life and start on your own path.
Abelian, I'm also sorry about the breakup. | |
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| Been 4 Months Since Breakup/Pawned Ring
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:16:01 AM | Dude, Abelian, sorry about your break up.
It happens. I broke up with my cancer surviving, ADD, bipolar, PTSD girlfriend. Since then I've learned about Kartman's Drama Triangle and it blew me away.
So life goes on. Even better. | |
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