Mr O
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Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 1 | |
| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 7:47:42 AM | I think that if this was the way. We would see alot less divorces and affairs of opportunity. When you mess around it ruins so many lives.
what are your thoughts on this?
This is pertaining to married couples of course. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 7:58:10 AM | I agree completely. I also think assault charges should be applied. I found it very traumatizing to find out my wife was sleeping around. The betrayed trust was one thing, but to think that I might have been exposed to AIDS, hepatitis, or any STD was very difficult for me. I needed blood tests to ease my concerns, and that, in itself, is considered to be an invasive procedure, no matter how routine it is. The simple fact is, when she slept with another guy, that was equivalent to forcing me to sleep with him and the rest of his partners. To me, this is rape. I didn't consent to this.
Instead of sleeping around on one's significant other, how about doing the proper thing and terminating the relationship and then going about finding another relationship. I find it disgusting that people will sleep around and use economic excuses to stay with their spouse...either gender.
Separation is hard enough on the children. To add infidelity, which stokes the anger and has the potential to create an even more toxic environment at home is sickening. Indeed, I agree absolutely...infidelity should be a criminal offense. | |
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Mr O
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Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 3 | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:01:25 AM | | I disagree. If infidelity were a criminal offense people would just be more sneaky, not ever tell their partners, and STD's would increase because people wouldn't have any idea that they were being/ had been exposed to them. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:07:28 AM | I disagree, Bumblebee...
I doubt that anyone going into infidelity is saying to themselves, "Gee...I'm going to tell my partner when I get home."
I think they already have enough incentive not to divulge and are already doing whatever they can to hide the affair.
Where I might think otherwise is if that spouse discontinues having sex with their partner immediately following the infidelity so that there is no risk of exposing them to potentially life threatening diseases.
I just don't understand why someone wouldn't terminate the relationship before sleeping with someone else. Perhaps there are exceptions, such as a spouse feeling trapped in an abusive relationship, because there are other dynamics at work there.
I think the topic of this thread is great! It really makes one think. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:09:45 AM |
I think they already have enough incentive not to divulge and are already doing whatever they can to hide the affair.
Making it illegal would be even more incentive to hide it.
You'd also run the risk of making it (more?) fun and exciting thing to do for those who like to "live on the edge" so to speak. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:18:40 AM | | My wife of eleven years had an affair with our neighbour. They were in love (puke) so I didn't have to worry about disease. I, too, thought that it should be criminal or at least a breech of contract. But, like Bumblebee, I see how it would create a burden to prove infidelity. Here is how I look at it: All is fair in love and war. I don't want the state in my relationships. I need to grow and learn that people do bad things, make mistakes, etc. Particularly hurtful when it is your supposed best friend and confidant, but not outside the realm of human behaviour. Ending a relationship is hard enough without the betrayal. Read a ton on this once upon a time. I'm O.K.! | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:25:03 AM | And what do you say to the innocent partner who contracts AIDS because of the infidelity?
"Whoops...too bad, so sad. You signed a contract and made a verbal contract when you got married...but that means nothing."
I don't, however, think that everything is black and white, and do believe that every case should be looked at individually. Usually it takes two people to break up a marriage. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:49:23 AM |
And what do you say to the innocent partner who contracts AIDS because of the infidelity?
I'd say, "It's a good thing it's not illegal to cheat. If it were a lot less people would get tested for fear of being "found out" by their spouse, and there's be a lot more people suffering the way you are. I'm sorry it happened to you, but at least it's not illegal to cheat. If it were, a lot more people would've been affected." | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 9:36:13 AM | Mr. O & Victor .... The three of us all live in the same city .... and we all smoke cigarettes. It's illegal to smoke in public here, and it's the fault of people who thought that there should be laws against it that we can get charged for smoking (I have).
People are going to cheat, whether it's illegal or not ... just as the three of us continue to smoke regardless of the laws. Sure, we might not smoke in certain places now .... so that we don't get caught and fined. People who cheat would resort to whatever it took, and go wherever they could to avoid getting caught too.
Some things are just better left alone.
::lights a cigarette:: | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 9:44:46 AM | | People make choices that affect us. We can learn to move past them without the law intervening. Much too messy to involve them here. A certain special someone once said to love your enemies. This would be a good time. Way easier in the long run to wish them well and move on. I watched the other guy be a scout leader with my kids and help coach a team our sons were on. I hated seeing him places I still frequented. Finally it was over for them. Phew. But can't see how the law could come in. Is there a difference between how men and women handle this? At times it felt o.k. to paste him one. But as I said earlier, way easier to hope they find something better. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 10:44:25 AM | ^^ Well said.  I think your thoughts were normal, but the way you chose to react was much more mature and beneficial for everyone involved.
OT: Why give people another thing to drag each other to court for? | |
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Mr O
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Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 11:31:08 AM | I seriously believe that if you marry someone then cheat on them before you are legally separated or divorced that you should be held responsible. If criminal charges are the deterent people might think twice about what it is they are about to do. I feel there would be less crimes of passion and less divorces. There are way too many casuallties when one cheats.
More communication and less deception!
It's a crime to steal and when you become an adult and are able to think rationally you don't steal (for the most part). I think that if cheating was looked upon the same way, you would be less likely to do it! If theft wasn't a criminal offence you can bet that there would be just as many people (if not more) thieving as there are cheating!
It's simple really! Why get married if you're gonna cheat!
that's my point.
Nothing anyone can say will change my view on this.
I just started this thread to see how many people would actually agree with the idea with no real reason. the only reason i have seen so far why not to do it is disease!
If this was law I really don't think that diseases would be as much of an issue in society. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 11:56:15 AM | When you sign the marriage cert it is a legal contract stating you are married.
When there is a divorce people use said contract to get money from each other, etc.
I would have to agree. When you break that contract, especially when you put your spouse at risk for an STD, you should be held criminally repsonsible.
It might make people keep these things secret more, but I doubt it.
It could possibly make it seem more of a taboo, thus more exciting.
But, only a small percentage of the population are criminals, or have the mind set to be criminals. I think it would make the average person stop and think.
I do not think it would change the divorce rate, but I think it would make more people initiate divorce proceedings and air the dirty laundry if they know a criminal charge could be pending if they cheat.
Another factor is, once you have a criminal record the family court will look at you in a different light. It could end up deciding a custody battle, hence discouraging the act even more.
The hardest part would be proving it. Proof beyond a reasonable doubt.
It would require you more or less hiring a PI because the police are way to busy with more important things to handle some-thing like this, and getting them to enforce it would be a challenge.
I think it would be the right thing to do if you could get around the logistics of getting a solid charge against some-one. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 12:00:30 PM | I agree. Society has become to accepting of this sort of thing, and if it were illegal it would bring it way down. Who would be stupid enough to cheat on their marriage vows if it might mean heavy jail time or worse? Some would, but most would not.
Marriage is the basic building block of society and we need to stat to do something to protect it, as we might not like the end result. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 12:03:32 PM | There'd probably be less marriages. Could be good or bad, depending upon your view of marriage in the first place.
Mr O .... what kind of proof would you suggest that someone get to charge their spouse with cheating? It can't be based on an admission because that woud merely be hearsay, and I doubt that anyone is going to admit it in front of a group of witnesses. Would everybody be required to hire a private detective to follow their spouse around just in case they cheat? Who should pay for the cost of said detective?
It would never work, but it would give people more to complain, b*tch and moan about when their cases were dismissed. Yay! Not. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 12:24:46 PM | We can't keep the real criminals in prison and you want to add more?!
Lets say two people are married. One of them goes out and has an affair without telling the other. Due to this affair the cheater contacts aids. They come back to their spouse have sex and give their spouse aids. Because of their infidelity the inocent person gets a death warrant.
Whats even worse, if there are children involved, you could now end up in a situation where the children lose both their parents to the disease.
Furthermore, the inocent person cannot pursue another relationship because of their medical condition.
Would that not make the cheater a criminal?
Had they just been open about the situation in the first place, it would have given the inocent person the option of leaving the relationship or no longer having sex with the cheater, thus reducing or eliminating their chance of contacting the disease.
I dont think it would be easy for the courts to enforce, but I think it would be the right thing to do if they could figure out how to make it happen. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 12:29:21 PM | ^^^ There are already laws against knowingly transmitting AIDS, regardless of whether the person was cheating or not. Beyond that, everyone should use protection and communicate in their relationships.
Or should they be charged if they refuse marriage counciling?
Yeah, yeah... they should .... and they should join the stupid people who get 10 yrs, eh? (good one hotbush. lol)
Sheesh. People should have their own lives in order and not worry about adding more laws. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 12:32:48 PM | ^^^^
We are talking about married people who have signed a legal document to be true to each other.
Due to one of them breaking said contract the inocent person's life is at risk.
If that contract is used for other legal purposes it should be applied here also.
When the inocent person signed that contract and was faithfull they essentially have done every-thing they can to eliminate contacting a deadly STD.
You should break the contract through a divorce before putting some-one else at risk.
Its simple common sense.
People should have their own lives in order and not worry about adding more laws.
Agreed. But then if every-one had their lives in order there would be no need for police, courts, etc. | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 12:33:15 PM | The charge in the states for knowingly transmitting AIDS is attempted murder up until the person dies and then becomes a murder charge............
I think that law is pretty good as is and doesn't apply ONLY to those who are married........ | |
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 12:36:40 PM | Hotbush please read my statements again.
It is pertinent only to married couples because they signed a legal document stating they will remain faithfull. Again, that document is used in a court of law to get spousal support, etc in the event of a divorce. If that document is used for that, it could be used for this to.
Unmarried people are not relvent in this discusion as they have no legal document they signed.
If you openly tell your spouse that you now want to break said contract because you want to pursue other relationships, you now give your spouse the option of protecting themselves.
You should never put a spouse @ risk because you cant keep it in your pants.
If you do, you should be held accountable, especially if that spouse contacts a disease because of you.
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| Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 12:39:19 PM | | So everyone should write their own wedding vows and not include anything about fidelity. Problem solved, and no need for a law regarding it. They'd trust each other just as much whether they said those words or not, and there'd be the same probability of cheating. | |
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