| | message length vs. contentPage 1 of 1 | | Hi, I'm having some trouble with what to write in messages. I have enough common sense to that writing "hey cutie, what's?" isn't going to get me anywhere. but sometimes there isn't much content to go on other then "hi, we both like to play hockey, how often do you play?". I keep reading in girl's profile they want more then one line messages but there isn't always that much to go on with out rambling or just talking about yourself. | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:13:25 PM | I'm having the same problem, especially when the ones that are asking for more than one line messages often provide less than a paragraphs worth of information about themselves.
It's already hard enough to know what to say without sounding foolish. I'd like to know where to go from here as well since I thing the reason I don't get any replies is because of the content of my messages. | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:15:45 PM | Hi, I'm having some trouble with what to write in messages. I have enough common sense to that writing "hey cutie, what's?" isn't going to get me anywhere. but sometimes there isn't much content to go on other then "hi, we both like to play hockey, how often do you play?". I keep reading in girl's profile they want more then one line messages but there isn't always that much to go on with out rambling or just talking about yourself. You never talk about yourself. Thats what your profile was for. Your pics and profile are what gets replies your message has to just not suck.. 4 or 5 sentences MAX telling her BRIEFLY what you liked about her profile and ask her one easy question to reply to. If she liked your pics/profile she will reply.
You are whining about what to write to the ones with a bare profile. A better question is why are you writing them ? If you cant figure out what made you want to reply then just dont reply.
I'd like to know where to go from here as well since I thing the reason I don't get any replies is because of the content of my messages. Actually its not the messages. Its your pics and profile most likely.
Cowboy | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:22:21 PM | I'd just like to ask, if you're wanting to message a girl who hasn't given out much about herself, why is this someone you'd want to contact? I don't know if you get my "vibe", but if there's not much in her profile, it's a decent chance she won't be that conversational about herself and it may be a tug of war to get her to say ANYTHING much. That is if she does reply.
"I'm having the same problem, especially when the ones that are asking for more than one line messages often provide less than a paragraphs worth of information about themselves. " Honestly, if this were the case, I'd just click past to the next one. I know both of you are a lot younger than I am, but I'm saying to you what I would say to one of my sons if they asked me. Some of the younger girls are immature and do treat dating like some type of game....ehhh I hate that word! But it really is true. There are young ladies your age who are sincere and genuine and glad to not put up any barriers to you getting to know them. That's what this whole thing is supposed to be about, so if they're making it difficult, they probably won't be worth your time. Call it motherly advice, it's from years of experience.
I hope that helps. | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:22:58 PM | Unless a guy is rude or creepy. I reply. One time the guy's message and profile were ultra creepy so I did not reply. Just so you know I try to be nice, but If I read a profile and I find things I don't like I try to tell them in a nice way I don't think it would work for me. I often get back very abusive replies. So many women might not respond because they were treated this way too often. I have no problem standing up to a butt head to me it is a free place to spew some of my anger.
You have to take it all with a lot of salt. It may be you, it may be the hundreds of guys that got nasty because the woman was not interested.
Woman are told you have to kiss a lot frogs before you find a prince. I am not sure what princesses are before you kiss them, but you might have to message a lot of them before you get a chance to find out if kissing them will turn them into your princess. | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:32:21 PM | I agree with the above posters. As they have said, make sure you are picking women whose profiles are giving you something to go on. Then message with a line or two about HER, about something that drew you to her from her profile. If it was mainly her looks, and you must comment on that, make it sweet and respectful. If you can inject a little humour, so much the better. And yes, adding a question is a great idea, so you give her an easy way to make a response. Keep in mind, that there are many reasons women may not reply to your message, and not all of them have to do with you. But if you think it might be your profile, have it reviewed in the profile review forum - can't hurt, right?
All the best! | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:13:07 PM | | 3 or 4 sentences max. I made the mistake of writing 10 to 12 sentences at first, and it was mostly a waste of time. Remember, an attractive woman probably gets a lot of messages, and she may not want to read a 5 paragraph essay ;) | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/29/2012 11:48:26 PM | | send something funny and ridiculous. It almost always gets a response and ends up in chatting and a number unlike the booooring nice guy profile 'liker' routine. | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/30/2012 2:56:18 AM | You can always choose to simply not write to any woman you feel demands a lengthy and detailed response but gives you, what you feel, is not much to work with in terms of starter material.
If a woman likes how you look ( she can imagine you naked and licking whipped cream off your chest) and she thinks you have a good career or job ( money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, you get the point now right?) and you are taller than her in heels and you live within 50 miles of her, then it won't likely matter what you write.
She likes how you look naked + You have money + Height over her ridiculous heels + You don't live too far away + a message that says, "Dayum gurl, dayum, youse beisn purdy. Youse sez damnn purdy. LOLZ. ROXOR. Depeche Mode 4Evar" = Response
She thinks you look like her creepy 8th grade gym teacher + She doesn't think you can buy her all kinds of free swag + You are shorter than her ridiculous heels + You live 10 towns away + a witty and thoughtful message written and crafted for you by Oscar Winners Joss Whedon, Aaron Sorkin and David Mamet = Unread Deleted or Rot in hell.
Here's some help. Worry less about what you write and more about getting the best pictures you can of yourself on your profile and tailor your profile to indicate signs of potential earning power or earning achievement.
Good luck. | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/30/2012 8:46:33 AM | | The photos and profile are much more important than the email. A "How are you? type email" might be a turn off for some women. But an attractive man can write that and still get many replies. | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/30/2012 10:34:48 AM | The problem is that natural conversation doesn't happen like how people expect you to message them. When is the last time you walked up to someone in a bar and started telling them what you're looking for in life and what your goals of dating are?
Out in the real world. A one word sentence: "Hi." is all you need to start a conversation... On dating sites, some people expect a 500 word essay on yourself.
There's no right or wrong answer to messaging someone. It all depends on the person. Sometimes you'll say the right thing, other times, you'll send the exact opposite of what they want to read. | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 13 | |
| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/30/2012 1:16:15 PM | You're writing a special, one-off computer program.
Write it top to bottom -- don't move that cursor backward for anything, until you have the first impulse to hit the SEND button.
Check all your spelling. Every word has a spelling. Find it.
Check the box for exactly one image of yourself. Should function about the same as your main pic (stock portrait).
Now:
Copy the entire message into a text editor.
Break long paragraphs into separate paragraphs.
Shrink the font until the whole message fits on the screen.
Decide if it's too long.
Identify nervous rambling -- should be similar to stuff that comes out of your mouth in a real conversation you wish you hadn't said (functions like nervous laughter).
Identify the most forced thing you said that still remains. Get rid of it.
Still too long? Keep looking for things that don't really need to be in the message.
Too short? GREAT. You can always start over; this was good practice.
When you get it where you want it, remove all the text from the original, and replace it with the one from the text editor. You'll have a copy if the web browser eats the one you meant to send.
Let it sit for five minutes -- there may be something of the context that bothers you, such as having written it at 3 in the morning (bad form). Things like that.
Check all facts.
Read through as though you were the recipient.
Give yourself permission not to send at all, at least once in a while.
Now:
Be me -- because this only certainly works for me. Can't do that?
BE YOU. Find what works for you. | |
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| message length vs. content
Posted: 6/30/2012 1:44:31 PM | Thanks that might be some of the best advice I've gotten. Funny for the ask women section, there a more guys replying then girls.
For the one guy who posted that equation that its all about looks in money. My best features are my height and my intelligence, typing a message that makes my sound like an an illiterate man-child, probably isn't showing my best qualities. Besides if she so shallow that its all about money and a hot body, my poor ass isn't interested anyways. | |
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