| | How to start a conversationPage 1 of 1 | | When I was 14, got my first job, started helping my parents pay the rent. Dated 2 girls in HS, neither very long. I never really had time or money to date. Therefore I never really learned how to catch her attention. I have tried complimenting, commenting on profiles, commenting on pictures, and asking questions. I highly doubt it's my looks. I'm no Brad Pitt, but I'm not Sloth (Goonies) either. I got a few profile reviews, but no real advice. I know it sounds sad for a 23 yo to be asking, but what is the best way to start an email or chat in order to have the best chance at a reply? | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 6/30/2012 10:03:37 PM | say somthing funny to her make her laugh
like tghis u see she has a dog or a cat in her pic
u send her a message says
hey, i wanna date ur cat can we negotiate the terms?
short if she got a sense of humor she might laugh she might even reply she might even pawn the cat on u
come up with some shtt make her laugh | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 6/30/2012 10:46:39 PM | You're wasting your time with online dating.
Go develop an interest and participate in communal activities
wherein women your age participate. For example:
-swing dancing
-church groups
-yoga
You need some old-fashioned courtship structure my friend.
Forget the online stuff. | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/1/2012 2:16:52 AM | | I think a lot has to do with pictures around here. Granted i'm no Channing Tatum, but some of my first messages to women have been nothing but GOLD. You know what, it's their loss, they are the ones losing out to awesome guys. Just wait till it dawns on them, and I can ignore them ^_^ | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/1/2012 2:42:39 AM |
I highly doubt it's my looks. I'm no Brad Pitt, but I'm not Sloth (Goonies) either. Sorry but this is exactly what I bet is the problem. Your just a very average looking guy messaging women you think are attractive and they dont view you in the same way. You guys WAY over think this stuff. Pics/profile are what get replies here.
Cowboy | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/1/2012 3:18:53 AM | Sorry but this is exactly what I bet is the problem. Your just a very average looking guy messaging women you think are attractive and they dont view you in the same way. You guys WAY over think this stuff. Pics/profile are what get replies here.
Cowboy
This from the bloke with the frostbitten face, and the comically camp poses. | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/1/2012 4:43:31 AM | Sorry but this is exactly what I bet is the problem. Your just a very average looking guy messaging women you think are attractive and they dont view you in the same way. You guys WAY over think this stuff. Pics/profile are what get replies here. Cowboy
This from the bloke with the frostbitten face, and the comically camp poses.
I EASILY get 60+ percent reply rate here and I get a couple first contact messages a day here from local women and I am AVERAGE LOOKING. I never had to come start countless theads going "OMG!! I have been on here for years and cant figure out why no one replies!!!!! What could it be as I know I am attractive????"
90 percent of getting replies here is based on your profile pics.
If I message a gal and she doesnt respond either she didnt like my goofy profile or more then likely SHE DIDNT THINK I WAS ATTRACTIVE. This is not that hard.
YOUR PICS are the most important thing but if your an average looking guy on here your friggin better make an efffort to write a killer and DIFFERENT profile. Your goal is that when a gal looks at 100 profiles tonight that she remembers yours for some reason. Its pics/profile that get replies. A gal can look at litteraly hundreds of boring profiles by average looking guys. READ your stupid profiles and ask your self WHY would any attractive woman contact me?
There is NO MAGIC FIRST MESSAGE HERE! If she likes your pics/profile she is actually looking for any reason to easily reply to you. If your clever YES use humor it helps. Based on most guys profiles I doubt humor is going to help you. MILLIONS of guys all say "I'm a funny guy" and then write a profile that in no way shows that.
An acceptable first contact message here is 4 or 5 sentences MAX telling her BRIEFLY what you liked about her profile and ask her one question about her profile/interests so she can reply easily. THATS ALL it takes because all that first message has to do is NOT SUCK.
Its pics/profile that get replies. Put up the best EIGHT pics you possibly can. Write an interesting profile and try to sound FUN and INTERESTING. You dont have to look like a rock star to get dates here. The gal does have to be able to look at your profile and at LEAST think "well he is kinda cute I guess". THATS ALL! If you also sound FUN and INTERESTING.
But average guys here with a couple pics and a boring 1 paragraph profile might as well just call escort services for all the action they will get here, especially if they are messaging hot gals.
80 percent of the guys are messaging the top 10 to 15 percent of the women. In my age range its almost 50/50 men to women. At the OP's age here depending on location its 8 to 10 to one. And they are ALL MESSAGING the same top 10 percent of the women I promise ya.
You HAVE TO STANDOUT.
But if I had a nickle for every very average (at best) guy on here that is sure it cant be due to looks (because he thinks he is attractive) I could buy this whole forum a round of tequila shots right now. Guys WAY overrate how attractive they are. And when you are 21 its based WAY more on physical attraction then as gals mature.
And average looking guy like me with a great profile at MY AGE will do better then an average looking guy at 21. Its simple math combined with gals do actually put more emphasis on your text profile then guys do. But it doesnt matter because if she doesnt think you are attractive at all it doesnt matter WTF is in your profile or in your message here.
But the point is I know EXACTLY why if they dont repond. Its probably my pics or could be my profile.
I dont do this to make fun of anyone. I may not exactly sugar coat enough for some peoples tastes but at least I am honest and do know exactly how this site works. Guys if your messages are just not lame its not the messages killing ya here. Its profile/pics everytime. But average guys with a interesting different profile can do just fine here.
Cowboy | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/1/2012 7:43:34 AM | | "guignol" has given you the best advice so far. At your young age, you should be out in the real world meeting women. Especially if you are worried about your conversational abilities. Go out, join some activity groups, learn to be comfortable around women, talking to them, interacting with them. | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/1/2012 7:44:49 AM | Besides everything stated above, you’re in the navy, too.
I would imagine a very limited amount of women are interested in the military lifestyle, especially at your age. | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/1/2012 3:42:13 PM | | Thank you. You are the first and only woman that responded in the "Ask a Girl" space. Appreciate it. | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/2/2012 3:10:54 AM | | I'm a lesbian trapped in a mans body, does that count? I hate taking pictures of myself, that is why they kinda suck, I don't think of myself as "photogenic" But I am funny as heck :D | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/2/2012 5:43:12 AM |
You're wasting your time with online dating.
No, he's not. You only get out of online dating what you put into it.
OP, you should be able to find some "tag-chasers" around where you're stationed at. Your shipmates can help you with that. | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/2/2012 11:23:42 AM |
-swing dancing
-church groups
-yoga
I don't know, the hell-to-results ratio actually seems a lot higher with those activities. | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:44:45 AM | | I kind of have to agree with the first poster here online dating is a waste of time. Messages are about as obsolete as snail mail. | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:06:35 AM |
Thank you. You are the first and only woman that responded in the "Ask a Girl" space. Appreciate it.
Probably because the other women won't waste their time.
Read the rules, kiddo, then try to use the info given to you. | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/3/2012 4:46:50 AM |
Probably because the other women won't waste their time.
Read the rules, kiddo, then try to use the info given to you.
Exactly - we answer this question every,single, freakin' day from the same 'nice' guys who think that neither their profile or photos are the problem.
Common sense should tell you that when all you are presenting to strangers are images and text, that if you aren't getting the response you expected, then the only cause can be images and/or text ! How hard can this be to comprehend ? | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:38:15 AM |
but what is the best way to start an email or chat in order to have the best chance at a reply?
Listen to Cowboy. He knows what he's doing.
Be authentic in your messages. Don't try to be funny or contrived, etc. Just be yourself- then you attract people who are actually attracted to who you are.
It may take time to get responses from someone of interest, but it will be worth it.
Online dating works if you use it to its best ability- ( good pics, profile, etc). | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:50:20 PM |
Probably because the other women won't waste their time.
Unlike most of the guys who post AAG questions, this OP was respectful to me and PLENTY of other guys receive responses from women to their incessant whines and rudeness.
OP, it was NOT a waste of my time to respond to you.
You’re welcome. Good luck. :)
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/3/2012 10:16:08 PM | Here are a few ways to initiate conversation with females:
Hi (informal)
Hello (formal)
Good morning (7AM - 12PM)
Good afternoon (12PM - 5PM)
Good evening (5PM - Late)
(Easier than you thought right?) | |
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| How to start a conversation
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:22:37 AM | While I know that online dating is completely different than initially meeting someone in the flesh, I've always thought of online communications much like real life communications. Don't overthink it and talk like you would if you were to approach a woman when you're out somewhere.
If you were to meet a woman out at the bar or the grocery store or wherever, how would you approach her and introduce yourself? What sort of conversation would you start that could lead you down a road to get to know her and also allow her to get to know you a bit? Be yourself, be natural. And another helpful hint....if a woman doesn't respond to you here, it's because she's not what you're looking for. The women that could be right for you will respond and will get into a flow of conversation with you that should be quite natural. Don't see a lack of responses as rejection or failure, see it as the two of you not being compatible for whatever reasons she had. Same goes for you when a woman emails you and you're not interested--incompatibility. | |
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