| | Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | I'm "divorced" and I've noticed that women look at me like I'm tainted when they find out. How is it any different than people that went through a long term relationship and maybe even lived together? I wanna be honest about it just because that's the way I am. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:10:56 PM | | To be completely honest, I feel like there can be some emotional baggage to dating someone who was divorced but I feel the same way with some being in a long term relationship and they haven't been broken up too long. Not everyone has that hang up as I do. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:19:20 PM | I have to wonder how old these women are.
It's a sad fact that many marriages end in divorce. Many people find themselves in their 30's, 40's and 50's divorced. This is not a rare event. It's very common these days.
So, I have to wonder why women steer clear of you and if it's true that the reason is your divorced status. The only time I can see that might be the case, is if you are dating much younger women, in their 20's, who would perhaps be less inclined to enter into a relationship with someone who has already experienced marriage and divorce and maybe hopeful of sharing this experience with a partner where it will be new for them both. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:21:57 PM | | I'm saying its emotional baggage both ways, it all depends on how long the person has been divorce. I've tried to date guys who were divorced and all they talked about how much of their ex wife was a (insert vulgar phrase) and how she took everything. And some don't want to get married again.. Its almost the same with a long term relationship but some of those wounds aren't as deep as splitting from a marriage. By all means saying you're like this because I'm NOT but thats what I've personally dealt with that. And as me never being married its kind of hard to deal with. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:26:58 PM | | I understand what you're saying but I've had this experience with all age groups. I've dated women in their early 20's to the same age as me. Even the women that have actually dated me said if they had known about my divorce before they got to know me they may not have tried. Once they got to know me they didn't have a problem with it anymore. It's just odd to me that there's this stigma that someone who's divorced has more baggage than the person who got out of a 8 or 10 year relationship that wasn't married. Just doesn't seem right. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:43:09 PM | Some people want to marry someone who has never been married before so they can experience it all for the first time together. Some people don't want to date someone who is divorced in case it ends up serious and then they can't get married in their church or for whatever religious reasons.
There are a TON of reasons. Just because you don't see the big deal doesn't mean there isn't one. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:18:50 AM | Unfortunately, POF won't allow a guy to say how his wife was a lush, slept around, emptied his bank account to feed her gambling secret, was a guy (lmfao), was addicted to POF and kept a shoebox full of love letters written to Katy Perry.
They kinda suspect that we may have learned some things about women. They don't wanna compete with a father's love for his kids. They are doing us favors, really.
Personally, I will never share a bank account or company with my next significant other. I'm divorced, I love to shop for myself. I may never in my life buy a woman a pair of CL's again and I've learned to live with that fact.
I met a girl on here who was young and pretty and thin and game for getting married even though I had been married twice before. She let me explain how I helped both wives establish themselves and she understood that I love to work but if she was chill about herself and had goals, she would benefit more than the previous wives.
She had no real dating experience and on our first meet she was scared to death that I was so experienced and was willing to give her exactly the wedding she wanted, which including being married by her father, a minister.
Meeting online for her was a bit much and I've quietly given her time to finish her schooling and continued working. I should be afraid to court her more because she told me she had a relationship with a female who was stalking her.
Women are afraid of their own shadows lol. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 3:10:59 AM |
I'm "divorced" and I've noticed that women look at me like I'm tainted when they find out. How is it any different than people that went through a long term relationship and maybe even lived together? I wanna be honest about it just because that's the way I am.
Lol, on another thread, if you have never been divorced, it's a "red" flag......you can't f*&king win. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 5:18:24 AM | I think it can be many things. For me I've experienced the same questions from guys when I first start talking to them.
1. How long have you been divorced? (this to me only matters if HE wanted the divorce. Seeing as it was ME, I was ready to date right away cause I had no issues)
2.Why did you get divorced? (I've actually asked the same question to men who were divorced...everyone wants to know "Did someone cheat"...)
3. Are you over your ex? (I've noticed when there's kids involved people are always very paranoid that you will go back to your ex for that purpose. )
When it comes down to it, we try to protect ourselves. So anyone scared to date a divorcee is only trying to do that. They don't want to get hurt and you have to be understanding. If you have someone particular that you feel may be doing that then talk to them and explain why none of these things should be worried about. I'm very open to the people I chat with so they know there's no chance of me getting back with my ex. I will say though, that a person who has been divorced twice is a red flag. Cause after the first, you should have learned from your choices and learned to make better ones. I know I have. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 5:33:29 AM | Cause after the first, you should have learned from your choices and learned to make better ones.
Well, you can say that about women and their relationship choices. Having a bunch of "bad boy" ex boyfriends isn't any better than someone who has been divorced multiple times.
You have to be careful about jumping to conclusions when it comes to divorcees. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 5:39:05 AM | Eh I get about as much attention from women now a year and a half after my divorce as I did when I was a bachelor IRL. But I'm sure my marital status works against me for meeting new women on a site like this, and rightfully so. I seriously doubt, however, that my divorce status is the single deal breaker for women on this site. In other words I doubt a woman on this site saw my photo, liked it, read my profile, liked it, started messaging me, and then stopped writing the message because they saw my divorced status. I think if a woman likes what she sees in your photos and profile context the divorced status won't inhibit her.
G
Hi redhead! | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 6:08:27 AM | Since divorce is so commonplace in this day and age, I find it really hard to believe that all the women who come into your life are looking at you like you are tainted. It's more like "divorced? yeah, you and everybody else..."
Are you sure you yourself aren't dealing with some guilt/insecurity/missing the ex/baggage so that you're projecting your own feelings onto other women? I suspect it's your own attitudes and personality, whether it's about the divorce itself or issues totally unrelated to divorce, that is turning women off, and perhaps you are subconsciously sabotaging your own potential relationships to stay in your 'safe zone'. Being divorced is just a convenient excuse.
I think you need to take a step back and really look deep inside yourself, figure out what YOU might be doing wrong in your relationships with other women that is holding you back from finding happiness. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 7:43:35 AM |
Well, you can say that about women and their relationship choices. Having a bunch of "bad boy" ex boyfriends isn't any better than someone who has been divorced multiple times.
I have to disagree. The decision to actually marry someone is huge. Dating the wrong person multiple times and actually marrying the wrong person multiple times is completely different. And you can't make this just about women and their relationship choices..plenty of men do the same exact thing us women are accused of. Lots of guys say they want a good girl with morals and so forth yet go after the easy fun ones they find at the local bar every weekend. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 9:15:53 AM | | There was a guy I'd been talking to a while back, was thinking of maybe even meeting, and then he told me that he was actually divorced (his profile said "Single", not "Divorced"). Yes, it bothered me and I chose not to meet him. I'm one of those "young 20-somethings" who wants to experience marriage for the first and last time with someone. I'd hate the feeling of "been there, done that" I'd feel in the back of my head from him and his family, whether they actually feel that way or not. I think that when you choose to marry someone, you're deciding that this person is truly the love of your life and you'll never look at another person that way until the day you die, and while I don't disagree with divorce, I do personally disagree with multiple marriages. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 9:53:21 AM | In reference to Texan...
When you are young you tend to think perfection exists... Then you realize life is just more complicated than that. A divorcee can sometimes be a better choice than someone else. I feel as though being through what I have, I probably know a lot more about what I want and need from a partner and a relationship than another female my age. You don't gain the same knowledge and experiences from just dating someone for a few years. So people who stay away from divorcees could be missing out on a way better catch than they realize. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 10:38:48 AM | | I know it's a factor for some but it doesn't bother me if she is divorced, I'm also divorced. Younger people might have a problem with divorced people, most people over 35 that are on dating websites are divorced so the pickings are slim for those who never married. The issue might also be kids or how many times you have been married, many people have an issue dating somebody with children. If a woman has four kids from three different husbands then that's a red flag for me. | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:21:32 PM | | Yes, young, head in the clouds, I'm aware of all of those things. I think divorce is totally fine, and I wouldn't hesitate for a second to divorce a man if he were to cheat on me, for instance. I just wouldn't ever get married again. At this point in my life, I've never been married and still hold hope for it some day, so I'm only looking to date someone I could potentially marry, and I wouldn't marry someone who's been married before. If, later in life, I find that I'm no longer looking to marry, I just may be willing to date a divorced man (given he's not looking for marriage either). | |
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| Why are some women afraid to date you when you're divorced??
Posted: 7/2/2012 9:47:03 PM | Exactly. Young love is great cause lets face it, ignorance is bliss. I don't mean to sound harsh when I say this but it's very true. If the world really ran on love there would never be a divorce but it's just not that way. I personally like a woman that's been through what redhead00507 is talking about. Women in her position tend to be much more confident, more easy going and don't get hung up on the stupid things that happen in REAL life. Women in her position are more concerned about how to move forward not dwell on what cannot be fixed. At least that's what I've experienced.
I don't talk about my ex wife unless someone asks me something specific but I try to be straight to the point and not go into details cause I don't want whoever I'm dating to have to know more than they have to if that makes any sense. I don't date any younger than 26 because women younger than 26 tend to have a lot of misconceptions on what real life is. Big generalization but once again it's what I've experienced. | |
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