| | Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | I’ve known this bloke for just over a month now we’ve only met twice and hardly talked. I’m no dating expert at all. I’m also over sensitive and over think things, so I maybe all wrong here but I’m a bit confused. It was 2 week before we met. We were going to meet earlier but he had a disaster at work and couldn’t make it and then we were both going away so decided we would meet when we both got back 2 weeks later. We just texted and I suggested we could have a chat on the phone before we met and we did. Then we met in café and had a nice drink and a chat. I wasn’t sure about him after the first date but he seemed nice and I wanted to see him again so I said " it would be nice to meet again" and we arranged to do that and I think we had a week before we met again but during the week we didn’t really talk much, just one text a day. I didn’t want to text to much in case I came across as desperate or scared him off so I just text back each time he texted me. So he would text then I would text back and then I wouldn’t hear from him until the next day and he mostly texts at midnight. He said he’s been really busy at work and working late so I can understand. We met again for the day and went for a walk, got a drink another walk then something to eat etc. Had a nice time and I found he was starting to grow on me but I still wasn’t sure but enjoyed his company and wanted to meet him again but I decided to see if he would arrange a date this time, which he did later. Again in-between seeing him just heard from him once a day but felt it would have been nice to talk on the phone. He suggested meeting on Monday if he could get the time off work, as he was going to be away all weekend. Unfortunately he couldn’t get Monday off. He texted me on Friday and I texted him back but then I didn’t hear from him for the whole weekend until Monday and I felt like surely he had a moment he could of texted or called at the weekend? On Monday he asked if I was free during the week and I said yeah so hopefully we will meet in the week. But I’ve felt like maybe he’s to busy or not that interested in me. With him being so busy and not talking much in-between, it feels like it has been difficult to get to know the bloke. I don’t know am I being silly? | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/2/2012 3:13:58 PM | Some people just don't like texting and talking on the phone. Maybe he doesn't want to appear clingy also.
it all sounds fine to me. Give it another few weeks and if you feel the same, move on. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/2/2012 3:19:54 PM |
If one was a suspicious soul it could be said he seems very something else too...
Attached maybe?
Definitely sounds married/attached to me ................... or on a very cheap pay as you go phone and he's a tightar$e that won't spend more than 10p a day texting you.
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/2/2012 3:29:09 PM | I knew i should have added the "don't quote me" rider to that!
I did say IF one was a suspicious soul. Personally i think it could be love, but he's scared of overstating his ardour (that's ardour folks...read more slowly... ;-P) in case he frightens the lady off.
Or maybe he's a Mr Grey type...exerting his control early by rationing contact until the desire meter goes through the roof...I haven't read the Grey thing by the way...but women do insist on banging on about it in every conversation...
:-)
@ msg 9
I do believe the term for a female cat is "molly". So may I formally annoint you Cynical Molly
Mee-owch (anticipates a swipe)
;-) | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/2/2012 3:35:07 PM |
Sorry wrote it in a bit of rush and dyslexic.
No needs to be sorry, take no notice of the grammar police, I see somethings never change on here, someone asks for advice and gets jumped on by a wannabe mod.
Maybe give a while longer OP and see how it go's on next date or 2, time will tell.
Good luck. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/2/2012 4:25:22 PM | | I don't see any cause for concern. Not everyone is text mad. Especially people past a certain age. For alot of people I know, texting is purely a utility, not a source of small talk. And not everybody has free messaging. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/2/2012 11:04:42 PM | | I'm much the same with texting, live in an area with no signal and work in an an area the same, so for me to send a text involves jumping in the car and going somewhere specifically to do it! So for a lot if people it's not a great form of communication. The fact he still wants to see you is a good sign I'd say. I'd only be suspicious he's married if he starts trying to make the relationship sexual too soon. | |
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_roxy_
| | Joined: 3/16/2012
Msg: 13 | |
| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:06:26 AM | This guy could be me!!!
I'm not married, but I do have lots going on at the moment and I imagine as much as I want to see someone again, it has to 'fit' in. If he's been single a fair time and built a life round that then it sometimes takes a while for someone to penetrate it. I've a cheapo pay-as-you-go phone too, like fvck are 02 getting anymore of my hard earned cash! ration those texts and calls.
If you have a good feeling about it....go with it, if not....knock it on the 'ead. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:10:21 AM | m much the same with texting, live in an area with no signal and work in an an area the same, so for me to send a text involves jumping in the car and going somewhere specifically to do it! So for a lot if people it's not a great form of communication. The fact he still wants to see you is a good sign I'd say. I'd only be suspicious he's married if he starts trying to make the relationship sexual too soon.
Yeh thats fair enough and I hope that OP fella is just geniunely busy but from experience this is quite a common trait of a married man, I say this because I was seeing someone from another site for a while and he kept cancelling and not turning up saying he was ill or was suddenly called out for work etc would only text at certain times, he actually set his phone so I was unable to ring him and said he had network problems..................turned out to be married and a big liar than Pinocchio.
Just be careful OP is all I say xxxx | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:31:05 AM | | OP. He is not interested you at all. He could text you while on his lunch break or on his way to work, no matter how busy someone is, if they want you they will find a time for you. | |
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_roxy_
| | Joined: 3/16/2012
Msg: 16 | |
| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:38:35 AM | ^^^Thats very black and white but I guess there is some truth to it. And he has given her 'some' time.
Maybe challenge him about the things you've mentioned on here? you just may get some honest answers :) | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:43:06 AM | | I wouldn't necessarily write him off....yet. But I can understand the suspiciousness. It may depend what sort of work he does. For example, if you worked in something like the Police and worked some of their unusual shift patterns, it can be a nightmare. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 2:00:45 AM | Roxy, The world is Black and White but people get confused by reading too much into things and end up upset themselves for no reason.
OP...Trust yourself and stop doubt yourself as the answer is right in front of you. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 2:24:51 AM | Perhaps the answer is not to put all your eggs in one basket until you know you are actually dating someone. A couple of dates over a month doesn't make a relationship.. so you aren't beholden to him (or him to you). I would make yourself busy doing other things (and talking/dating other men), and when he makes time for you, you can see if you are free to go out with him again. If you are as busy as he seems to be, you won't over analyse so much.. and if he isn't single, you haven't wasted anymore energy on him.
I've had the experience of seeing someone who I thought was single and wasn't. And when I look back the signs were all there. Sometimes, you like someone enough to ignore the big fat flashing warning signals! I have to admit those flashing lights would be on for me now, if I were seeing him.. but I'm a cynical old bird these days. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:17:42 AM | Surprised that no one has picked up on the fact that you won't text him until he's texteded you first. 
If a lady expected me to do ALL the running I, personally wouldn't be that interested in pursuing her.
It just comes across as someone who's waiting for life to 'happen' to them IMO and these sort of people can be very draining and just a little boring.
So OP, either take the bull by the horns and pursue this relationship with more vigour if you're really interested or don't and move on to someone else who will inspire you to do so. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:32:46 AM | Msg 22
Bang on, i can't believe you're the only poster who's noticed this. If i was this bloke i'd have given up by now.
OP
If you're going to play silly "he must text me first" games then expect to lose. You've also said you weren't all that sure about him after both meetings, he will have picked up on this and your reluctant texting and taken it as a sign you're not that interested or you've got bigger fish to fry. Your teenage tactics are backfiring. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:33:25 AM | I for one hate txts. As said a txt is a message utility for when you can't reach by phone and its kids who constantly send half a question with no detail requiring a reply asking another question .
Example.
Hows u
OK thanks and you
Ok are we going out on Sat
Yep
Where to
Clubbin
Which club
Dont know
Who with
And so on it goes. Details which could be done in 10 seconds with a phonecall and you know if the phone is answered that the message has got through.
Watch people with phones these days. Always checking for txts. And Ive had txts come through a day late because of signal/flat battery.
As for being busy.
Some people are busy and have a life outside dating, My work is not just 9-5
I have to plan availability around many other aspects of life.
That said a busy person will always make time for you. | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:36:52 AM | OP - Best case, your whole profile screams non-committal. If you won't then why should he?
Worst case, the pair of you were getting on great guns, now he's gone all dark on the comms, with bloody odd texting times, he's married or attached.
Blow some clarity into this on both sides to get it moving , or to kill it dead. Life's too short for wandering around muttering "What's going on?" | |
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| Bloke seems very busy. Difficult to get to know him.
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:41:20 AM | I agree to a certain extent that the OP hasn't been texting the chap.. but (and I hate texting too, and prefer phone calls) if a chap wasn't very forthcoming on communication a) I wouldn't chase him down (if she had said she had sent lots of text I can see the "you are a bunny boiler" forum advice!) and b) if he was only texting me at midnight I would think he really didn't have time for dating and/or communication and leave him alone.
Sometimes we can get our wires crossed though, if one person wants more communication than another, so its best to be upfront about it. There is nothing worse than starting out with them texting you every morning, through the day and last thing at night, and then when it tails off, you start pondering if there is something up. I think its why I try to avoid the avid texters.. | |
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