| | is online dating self defeating?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | i am asking this because lately i am feeling that instead of getting out there and doing activities and possibly actually dating(!) i find myself here, answering emails, viewing who's viewed me or whatever.
i see that some people - and i don't mean those that are in relationships but choose to post on the forums- have been here for years! and i rather thought that this online dating thing is supposed to be temporary. or at the least an aid in helping one find a partner.
i'm thinking of deleting my profile and getting into activities, seeing plays, taking in events, going to restaurants alone or with my (grown) children.
but i enjoy reading the forums..so can i delete my profile and still be able to see/post on the forums? | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 6:05:43 PM | I've been here on and off since 2006. I have had some relationships that didn't last, thus why I am back on POF. I do, however, enjoy the forums and have made some good friends here, too!
You need to be a POF member to be able to read/participate in the forums. | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 6:10:11 PM | | Online dating shouldn't replace meeting people in real life. I use the forums to pass the time when I'm hanging at home and can't get out for whatever reason & what unfolds on the forums sometimes can be better than reality TV. I think it can get a little addicting for some, if you find it's taking over your life, it might be time for a break. | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 6:33:37 PM | | I prfer online dating because Its less hurtful imo than me trying to talk to a man and him saying get lost fatty which happens all the time so thats why I wont go up to guys at all | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 6:41:23 PM | Honestly do both. Get involved in activities and leave the profile up. Just make sure your profile is neat and presentable.
I feel that being in America and this age of technology people are becoming less and less sociable and more into pixels on computers and cell phones. People are slowly losing the ability to converse with one another personally. Staying at a computer for long periods of time is easily a big cause of people's depression.
Leave POF as something to look at if you have time at the end of the day. If you look at the forums you will see the numerous rants guys make about messaging so many women and not getting responses. These people tend to be seeking out a partner to fill a void in their own life instead of making themself happy without the need of one. | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 7:11:14 PM | | I know a lot of people in my city due to the line of work I do, heck I have people that message me seen either one of the shows I performed in or an event I worked. I looked to POF to help me look outside of my circle (very large one) So I can meet someone new and a breath of fresh air. I'm not giving up hope yet! | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 7:27:52 PM | have been here for years! and i rather thought that this online dating thing is supposed to be temporary. or at the least an aid in helping one find a partner.
Dang people! Please define the terms better! Yes you defeat your purpose if you spend all your free time HERE!
There is NO "online dating", there IS online contacting/chat/flirting/mostly time-wasting without some intent and RL plan to actually MEET!!
ONLY AFTER A RL MEET does anything happen that can ever be defined as "dating"...
For best results, spend at least as much time out IRL at your local social meetup groups, as you spend chatting online or profile surfing...
(Speakin of surfing, a 14ft great white was spotted by a lifeguard and other people this afternoon about 150 feet off La Jolla Shores, one of our most popular local beaches, so everyone was called out of the water for the rest of the day.) | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 8:17:24 PM | | you can better appreciate lol online dating if you use other sites at the same time. I follow a 6 weeks active rule, then delete my profile and stay off sites for 6 months. What I found was that in May and June women are easier to meet, also in November and December. Most people are used to managing their time across many social/blogging platforms but meander into popular dating sites and wind up wasting lots of time and resenting it. There are a combination of negative feelings going back and forth with prospective friends and dates. | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 8:30:30 PM | thank you all.
tall, i understand now.
p.s. yikes about the great white.
we also had a shark in the shallows off the coast. a blue shark. beautiful as it is frightening (to me) | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 8:31:46 PM |
.Online dating shouldn't replace meeting people in real life.
+1
online dating is just ANOTHER avenue to meet people.. not the only one. | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 8:55:48 PM | | To defeat online dating is too tell people how you feel in person..See I believe that online dating are for the people who hide if that makes sense I do it and most do it.....But to defeat it is to in public communicate to another human and form some sort of relationship and not worry about what happens......If we all could shut are computers and go f it I am not going to care if that person likes me or not I am going to live than I think we have succeeded in defeat online dating..................... | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 9:18:58 PM | OP: I know that a person USED to be able to read the forums without having a profile. I did it for quite a while before actually joining. You can't "participate" in the forums but you can read them. I actually joined because of a forum post that I HAD to respond to!! :)
I don't know if this is still true but it used to be. (So, this response was of absoluetly no use to you....sorry! :)
Maybe ask a moderator? They would know. | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 10:42:06 PM | ~OP~ Yep, some of us have been here for years. I found myself using this as a replacement to real-life in the beginning. That stopped years ago for me. This is a load of time wasting for the most part. It may be a way to meet people but it's no quick fix nor is it the best way to meet someone (again, just my opinion.) This is really just a meat market (human buffet) in which you don't need to get out of your jammies to participate in. I've met a couple of men over the past 12 years that ended up being short-term relationships, but I've done much better off-line than on when it comes to my personal endeavors. JMO  | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/2/2012 10:53:38 PM | | Hey, you can access this site while I out in real life from your smart phone.. no self defeating going on there... lol | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/3/2012 2:57:43 AM | | You take a certain amount of time with emails and online chat, but if you get a connection, it should move to phone, and doing those actual activities from there... | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:00:44 AM |
You take a certain amount of time with emails and online chat, but if you get a connection, it should move to phone, and doing those actual activities from there...
What activities? Like necking? | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:38:56 AM | ----What activities? Like necking?---
That apparently and from the last post I was on breast handling as well,lol... | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/3/2012 4:15:06 AM | | I find I enjoy the forums more. I only met one 'Lady' from POF and all she wanted was sex on the first date. While she was attractive I did not fu*k her. I find I meet more genuine ladies at normal social events | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/3/2012 5:43:57 AM | Do both.
The forum dwellers, you will find out, that they majority of them ARE in relationships. They come here, because it's the best forum environment where the human condition in all it's stupidity and grandeur is discussed. | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:38:23 AM | | Also, I check stuff like this -while- I'm out. I'm at a bar, I get an email, look on my phone, ignore it or "save" it to my mind to reply later, go back to my drink. I'm only reading forums, etc. or replying in depth while I'm at work or down time at home. I don't see any possible way why checking a website would preclude any real life activities. I'm more active now than I ever was, and I'm on most dating sites to varying degrees. | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:49:21 AM | Well, more people are going online now. Being on here for several years should give you somewhat of an advantage over the guys who post, "I'm laid back, and like to have fun" on their profiles.
Online dating makes people more "choosy". If your only option to get get dates was to meet people in IRL, would you care as much if a woman weighed a few more pounds, or a guy was a inch shorter than you? Probably not. | |
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| is online dating self defeating?
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:24:22 AM |
Online dating makes people more "choosy". If your only option to get get dates was to meet people in IRL, would you care as much if a woman weighed a few more pounds, or a guy was a inch shorter than you? Probably not. Such a good point! | |
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