| | Fooling around while dating.Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I have no problem waiting for the sex, but to me, dating without any physical intimacy whatsoever (kissing, touching, breast play) is just friendship and no different than me hanging out with one of my guy friends.
I'm wondering when you hear women, especially on here complain about guys wanting sex, if they are talking about actual sex/oral sex etc., or they mean any physical intimacy whatsoever?
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:03:22 AM | | For me, most women if they are at all attracted/interested will kiss, but getting to second base, at least on a first or second or third date, is another matter altogether. I seem to meet Donna Martin types or born again virgins. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:10:08 AM | | Breast play,lol...I applaud you...I think on POF guys are complaining about initial sex hook ups, but, yeah, no physical intimacy amongst us civilized POF'ers in a relationship would be tough I would think... | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:11:15 AM | I tend to agree with Abelian -- when there is a physical attraction, there isn't much 'fooling around' prior to taking things to the next level...
(though, I don't speak for all women)
The first kiss may indeed be a separate entity, but I find that the attraction takes hold and fooling around is indeed foreplay. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:44:30 AM | | My problem is being attracted to the person but not being comfortable being physical on the few dates (by the 3rd or 4th date I'm fine), normally the guy wants a kiss when I first date them. Which I'm not comfortable with, I have to warm up to them and a lot of guys take it the wrong way. I'm actually a shy person when I feel like I don't know the person well enough. So I wouldn't take it bad if the female isn't physical at first. But if there is that physical chemistry going on, then the rest should happen. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 4:17:31 AM | the first kiss should be within the first five minutes of the first date .. actually my personal record is about 5 seconds ..and within 5 minutes we were having sex .. but that is not the norm that was a case of extreme chemistry..the second our eyes met each other all we needed was a place
me thinks you people think too much .. all the firsts with me tend to work themselves out and most times they are sooner than later
guys are thinking how soon will i get it ..and women are thinking how long do i hold out ...stop your damn thinking and just enjoy each others company and sex will happen in its own time ..just saying | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 4:49:08 AM | I think that women on here must get so many opportunists that they put up barriers in their profile. That follows up through suspicion on dates.
I agree that people think too much. Also they place too much priority in sex.
Sex is only a small part of the day not the be all and end all.
In fact the best way I have found to get sex is to just be me and hardly make any moves. Sooner or later they will and when it happens its first kiss to full sex very quickly. Ive rarely had someone who will lead you on to second base and then stop. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 5:04:46 AM | If there is no affection displayed at all, then it's not dating. It's companionship.
“There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.” - Dear Abbey | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 9 | |
| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:04:12 AM | Holding hands is pretty intimate, for me. It's a nice way to
express affection, and if you're not in some very concerned
medical state, it means I like you very much, indeed, and
I'll have deep physiological responses to you, as well. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:55:49 AM | My last first date included a ride on the back of my guys Harley without the sissy bars. So I had to hold on to him at different points. It ended with a kiss that I will never forget.
Second date went a lot further than that...lol. But he is still seeing me and wasn't looking to hit it and quit it. The women are complaining about the men who are just looking for sex and disappear or just a booty call. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:10:39 AM |
I'm wondering when you hear women, especially on here complain about guys wanting sex, if they are talking about actual sex/oral sex etc.
I believe they are talking about full blown out coitus.
If you are just starting to date, then you build up the sexual tension slowly.
Most women here are not pleased with men who are only interested in adding them to their notch on the bed post.
However if you are meeting women who are not displaying any type of physical intimacy (hand holding, touching, kissing)
then yes there is just a friendship forming. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 8:17:12 AM | You've mentioned the first or second date. Get a grip. Most women want to date a bit and see what a guy is like, not just hop into bed together.
The guy I'm dating- we didn't kiss until the 3rd date and took things slow and really got to know each other. Perhaps you should try that instead of just being focused of how fast you can have sex. Sheesh. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 8:37:32 AM |
Which I'm not comfortable with, I have to warm up to them and a lot of guys take it the wrong way. I'm actually a shy person when I feel like I don't know the person well enough. So I wouldn't take it bad if the female isn't physical at first. But if there is that physical chemistry going on, then the rest should happen.
Zing zing .. same here
I recently had a second date with someone who is quite sexually forward. He lost that part of me that could be gf material because then to me...he wasn't bf material. I was very attracted to him but the thing is if he had just respected my space for the first couple dates until I got to know him and be comfortable enough to not be so shy.
Although I may appear it in the beginning, I am NOT a Donna Martin or born again virgin. Not every women who don't "fool around" in the first couple dates are. That's an assumption.
Therefore, this date I had lost out on both aspects of myself. The good and naughty girl.
I'm quite sure I'm not alone in this boat???
Anyone, anyone... bueller? | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 8:59:36 AM | The problem with this ^^^^^^^^ is that it seems like when this scenario happens on a first date, it's all "yippee!" at the time, but then the next day, thoughts like "Geez, if she does that on the first date with me, she must do it with every guy who comes along, what a slut!" start creeping in.
That could be a big reason why some women will bring things to a halt if they're happening too fast. Some of us think that if we "make" him wait a little bit, he'll respect us more. That may or may not be true, but it does run through my mind. :) | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:00:38 AM | | If a man said the words "1st base" to me.......I'd laugh myself right out of there!! | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:08:05 AM | I'm not into head games to win some sort of phoney respect contest, if there's genuine attraction sexually and mentally it's all systems go.
CharmicC- Yeah, I'm not scared of the old "if she does that to me she does that everyone" double standard. Takes two to tango and I'm not that insecure.
I wouldn't be attracted to a guy that thinks he's opinion of me is worth more then my own, so there's never been an issue. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:09:58 AM | but then the next day, thoughts like "Geez, if she does that on the first date with me, she must do it with every guy who comes along, what a slut!" start creeping in.
^^
I find this so laughable because while he's thinking that, I'm thinking "If he's like this with me, he must be like this with every girl. What a manslut!" | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:20:46 AM |
If a man said the words "1st base" to me.......I'd laugh myself right out of there!!
Oh gawd! What a relief. I'm so glad you said that. My fingers were twitching I wanted to respond to the base thing so badly. I thought the OP was really young but he is 30.
OP - We are all different. I have dated men that it took me many dates before we even kissed and I have had to virtually turn a hose on myself to settle down after one date with other men. I try to follow a man's signals. I am very socially awkward in a one on one situation. I know that men misread my signals all the time. It is a struggle. Perhaps you keep ending up with women like me.
I'm wondering when you hear women, especially on here complain about guys wanting sex, if they are talking about actual sex/oral sex etc., or they mean any physical intimacy whatsoever?
I am curious about how you differentiate "actual sex" and "physical intimacy". We are not in high school. Odds are one thing leads to another. I doubt many full grown women are taking it in stages. Are you taking these dates up to lookout point or something? Sorry. *hangs head* That was snarky... even for me. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:26:47 AM | There are Donna Martin's out there believe it or not that seem to want what I call asexual dating...even at this age.
The whole "If she does this with me, she does this with every guy" thing is bs. If anything I look at the woman as an adult that is comfortable with her sexuality.
I just seem to meet Donna Martin's that are completely comfortable with "dating" (if you want to call it that) with nothing beyond kissing.
All I was saying is that I perfectly understand if a woman wants to wait for sex, the differences between men and women when it comes to sex, etc., but if she's not letting me touch her body, to me it's just a friendship or a high school relationship that some of you are alluding to. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:37:05 AM | Dont forget most women are brought up thinking sex is bad.. and many never break from that thought pattern.
Dont forget some ***holes are using them for sex and lying to get it.
This creates the women you are talking about. If you dont want to deal with that then friendzone them and find someone more your style. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:44:26 AM | | Growing up I wasn't taught sex was bad, if a guy just wants to have no strings attached sex. Then he should say so, the problem is some guys don't. I don't get really physical on the first dates to make sure if that's the case, I can weed them out. I've had no strings attached sex before, I'm not totally against it. But I don't feel comfortable if a guy is saying Oh I want something long term, but his hands is telling me different. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 11:34:50 AM | | Op, I agree with you that it's intimacy that makes a relationship special, apart from being "just friends". Fooling around like cheek peck kiss's, fondling and or even just prolonged necking, I associate that with adolesent juveniles. That's what it was like back in junior and high school days from what I recall, "the make out sessions". Consenting adults should play like adults do in the xxx flicks, and make out a bit if desired, then get naked and "rock & roll"! | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 11:54:20 AM | | I think many women prefer to be in some type of committed relationship before having intercourse with someone. If a woman sleeps with a man on the 1st meet/date, she is left wondering why he hasn't been calling afterwards......which happens more than most think it does. I choose not to put myself in that ball park, but if there are sparks then its a good lead up to when we anticipate we will shed the clothes and get on it. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:39:13 PM | ^ You are so right! Even in the friend zone they will still chase it.
I have sex when I want, but never on a first date.
The second? If they make it that far they most likely will.
I dont find I have chemistry with everyone, and its rare when I do.
When I find it, yes I want to know if the sexual part is there.
Im too old to waste my time. | |
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| Fooling around while dating.
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:56:52 PM | I am not going to sleep with someone that would consider me a slut for doing so...
Not on a first date, not on the third or 3 months in -- I just wouldn't be sleeping with that kind of guy.
We are not teenagers anymore, adults have adult relationships, and sex is a part of that.
Don't get me wrong, I don't sleep around
-- but, if I have that connection with a man,
it is not going to be a game of lets see how long we can make him wait.
My knickers come off when I want them to... | |
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