| | E wants to be friends...Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | I'm in the military and had been in a long distance relationship for about 2 years until it broke off in February. By April she was texting me a lot and told me I should come home in the summer and see where things were at. she began texting me all day everyday. This continued until about June when she waited for me to confirm I was coming home to tell me she was seeing someone. She keeps saying she wants to be friends though. She even texted me that I am the only person she shares things with and we have connections she won't have with anyone else. She has said that the guy she is with is not a serious relationship, yet shes taking him to meet the parents, refuses to meet me while I'm home. She is the one that pushed for the relationship, knowing I'd be gone a lot, brought up marriage, brought up having a kid, brought up reconnecting, and pushed things to be a relationship again before this new guy. Her parents still text me and talk to me and want me to stay at their house. Am I crazy, or is she? | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:09:49 PM |
Am I crazy, or is she?
Its not so important whether she's crazy, or not.
Just ask yourself if you are crazy, or not.
Ask yourself how desperate you are.
Ask yourself if this situation is how you want to have a relationship and a family?
You cannot control her, you can only control your own actions.
If you want to accept her the way she is, its in your control.
If you want something different, that's also in your control, but you need to find it somewhere else. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:11:42 PM | | I wouldn't have anything more to do with her. She waited until she knew you were coming home before telling you of a new boyfriend? She is seriously messing with you and you deserve better. Please don't take her back or you will end up crazy! | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:19:24 PM | My brother dealt with a chick like this. She kept him as 'backup' in case things went south with the new guy, but his job wasn't good enough, he wasn't hunky enough, so on. It's insecurity, and selfish. If she's got a new guy, fine, she can have him. She should have told you instead of playing games with you. If she can't share things she shares with you with her current dude, she's got a serious problem. She likes you, but for whatever reason she doesn't think you're good enough. I hate chicks like this. Maybe it's because you're in the military (and thank you!) but that's you're choice and if she can't live with it, well, she needs to find someone who isn't.
IDK, she just sounds like your typical in a hurry insecure chick. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:54:23 PM | | OP: The only problem you have, here, is if you keep her in your life. She's toxic. Move on. You don't need this kind of person in your life. Find someone without the soap-opera drama. Endex, endex, endex. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:23:26 PM |
Am I crazy, or is she?
Aren't you happy that you didn't get married or have a child with this woman?
It would be a major disaster by now.
You are not crazy you are normal. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:32:52 PM | Your military home skillet got it right.
You are stationed on a small base in the middle of no where,
and miss female companionship and correspondence.
Dont make the same mistake as a million other soldiers do.
LET HER GO! She wants a meal ticket with her cake.
Wake up darlin'. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:32:59 PM | | she sounds extremely self-centered and immature....break it off, all the way off...say goodbye to the parents and end all the crazyness. Take care of you and get awaaaaay from the drama. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:49:25 PM | | I do not think any of you are crazy...Life be crazy...Long distance is hard physically for some people I would think...Mentally you were always there for her...now it is what it is...I would stay her parents,lol | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:51:20 PM | Talk is cheap.
Actions speak louder than words.
What do her actions say? | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 8:12:07 PM | ~OP~ No one is actually crazy. She's just an idiot playing with other people's emotions. You might be crazy if you continue to communicate with her, but at this point? It's just "the games people play." Not the least bit appropriate, but happens nonetheless. Cut off ALL communication with her and move along to someone who will treat you properly. JMO  | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:01:05 PM | she began texting me all day everyday.
This by itself would make me think someone is crazy, regardless of your history or the situation. I'd be sick of it (and her) within one day. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:08:26 PM | | it's over. she can't handle the long distance, which pretty much tells you all you need to know. please don't waste your time with this woman. you can't be friends with her. what for? so she can keep you hanging around just in case things don't work out with this other guy? forget that! move on! you deserve so much more then this! do not talk to her anymore. it's over. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:09:02 PM | | sorry to say, op-friends don't keep beloveds on an emotional string by throwing out carrots every now and then. In case you missed it, she is not treating you like true friend or a beloved! | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:17:12 PM | I was coming home to tell me she was seeing someone. She keeps saying she wants to be friends though.
She is the one that pushed for the relationship, knowing I'd be gone a lot, brought up marriage, brought up having a kid, brought up reconnecting, SHE is the one telling you lies.
Let her and her parents GO.
Any woman that says she wants all this and backs out just when you come home to meet her ... has been leading you on all the while. I would instantly remover her from my contact list, stop all text messaging, tell her parents thank you for your kindness just the same but I will be staying elsewhere. And leave. She comes with drama let her leave with drama. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 10:14:09 PM | | Thanks for the replies everyone. I know deep down you all are probably right. It's one of those things where I love this girl so it's hard to just let her run. But I think you all confirmed what I had thought to be true. So thank you all for the advice. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 11:07:18 PM | | E wants a lot of things from the way it sounds. Being involved with someone who is not in their life on a day to day basis in person is hard on a relationship. This one has taken its toll, that is why she can boast about the new man in her life, she's playing games with you and I would by no means stay at her parents house....there is surely going to be some headaches involved with that, you should back out of this girls life and while it may be hard for you to deal with the emotions of doing that you will see that is is better this way. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 11:18:06 PM | Cut and run brother. You are a back up plan and safety net for her. All that will happen is you are going to hear about how every guy she is banging and then gets tired of is a jerk and blah blah blah..You stroke her ego and make her feel all good and comfy,yet she has to invest NOTHING. You have got a free ticket on the midnight express to friend zone and the brakes have given out.
As for her parents... You can politely refuse the offer given the circumstances and meet them for dinner someplace neutral if you enjoy their company and wish to remain in contact with them.
Thank you for your service. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:06:14 AM | | This woman sounds a little flakey to me. However, that's for you to decide. Being a military wife is always tough, long periods of away time is the norm, but not always. Saying you're in the military could mean a whole lot of different things. Are you in a relatively safe area or a ground pounding grunt taking fire every day? Officer or enlisted? Makes a huge difference. Career military or waiting for your discharge? I would think any prudent woman would have to take these things into consideration. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:42:40 PM | | Everytime you miss and think of her, remind yourself she can't be trusted. Game over, sorry. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:44:58 PM | | Shes being a sly dog and leading you on, get rid of it. You know it. Dont get blind sighted by bullshit. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:58:46 AM | | Thanks again guys for all the opinions. It's definitely helped make my decision easier. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:13:38 AM | | Crazy or not she's manipulating your emotions, something which you personally can ill-afford because it could get you or someone else killed, period. | |
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| E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/5/2012 11:41:18 AM | | you are the sane one she should understand that being away for long periods of time is part of your job you should take time out be by yourself have some fun whilst on r and r but tell her straight she has to be with her new fella both of you will never forget what you had but she made the decission to move on you sound a decent bloke do whats right for you | |
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