| | Is it good to lie about your number?Page 1 of 1 | | This is always an awkward conversation that happens, usually after I've gotten to know someone decently. I tend to avoid the "how many guys have you been with?" because quite frankly its none of my business and I don't like discussing the number of girl's I've been with, but it seems inevitably a girl asks me. So, considering I have only had 2 girlfriends, and both lasted less than six months, I've had quite a number of partners. Over thirty, actually. Is it better to just lie and give a much smaller number (and what would be a good number, if that's the case?) or should I stick with the truth, even though it seems to be an obvious turn off and sometimes a deal breaker? OR should I just tell her I don't want to answer the question? | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:39:35 PM |
Is it better to just lie and give a much smaller number (and what would be a good number
Would you want HER lying to you? And if she told you the truth about being with 30 guys, would YOU want to be with her still?
The most I could ever ask a man that I was thinking of becoming intimate would be if he protected himself through out all his fwb relationships. Even that could still be a lie, so the next obvious question would be if he has been tested recently. But this would be ONLY if I were with that person for a while and we were serious about being in an exclusive relationship. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:45:05 PM | WOW. Over 30? Maybe you ARE the creepy guy at the bar!! Just because you've only had two girlfriends doesn't mean you have to sleep with the whole town.. often people go months between relationships without sleeping with people..
I dunno, dude, usually I think lying is bad but in your case I think you should shave a few off the number or all the girls will run. Just make sure you don't lie about if you're CLEAN or not. | |
|
| |
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/3/2012 9:50:25 PM | Well, in my defense, I have only had two or three one-night stands. The vast majority are girl's I've either been genuinely interested in, but we only stay together for a few weeks, or they've been girls I've been friends with for months/years and we just have never dated.
I usually follow the number with "I've always been safe and have never had an STD" but it is still an uncomfortable conversation to have. | |
|
tehFi
| | Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 6 | |
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/3/2012 10:00:19 PM | | I usually go with "none of your business" when I'm asked... cause there really is no right answer. "Too low" and they assume you're lying. "Too high" and they react like... well, you've now seen how they react. :p And these forums drive me bonkers with their sex-negative attitudes sometimes. Over 30 just means he's having a good time. Maybe folks should quit with the finger-pointing, and give it a try sometime. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/3/2012 10:03:24 PM | I would personally never ask a man that unless it was becoming a serious relationship. It is NONE of my business how many people they have slept with and it's NONE of their business how many people I have slept with. The only thing I would be concerned with is are they clean and disease free. If a guy asked me that I would politely tell them "I'm sorry but I do not know you well enough to be discussing such a personal matter." However if this person was someone I was in a serious relationship I would discuss it with them. It's not the fact that I would want them to know how many people I have slept with, it's more of the fact that I would want my potential life mate to know everything about me.
Don't lie, just tell them you are not comfortable discussing such a personal aspect of your life. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/3/2012 10:40:46 PM | So, considering I have only had 2 girlfriends, and both lasted less than six months, I've had quite a number of partners. Over thirty, actually. Is it better to just lie and give a much smaller number (and what would be a good number, if that's the case?)
Well considering that you have just broadcast your number over the internet I suggest you tell them the truth .. unless you were bragging about your number to us here and the truth is a much lower number. If you can make the claim why not just say I have enough experience, I am STD and all my previous relationships are over and done with.
Thirty partners by the time you are 25... do you think you will be into the hundreds by the time you are 50??? | |
|
| |
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:03:18 AM | WOW. Over 30? Maybe you ARE the creepy guy at the bar!! Just because you've only had two girlfriends doesn't mean you have to sleep with the whole town.. often people go months between relationships without sleeping with people..
Really? That doesn't sound unreasonable to me...I mean, even if he started humping as late as age 20 (which is unlikely given the OP's looks) that would average to only one woman every two months.
The typical bar fly would bed more women than that. I don't think he's even close to being the creepy man slut.
OP, it's noone's damn business how many. Like blast said, all that matters is the safe and clean aspect.
Of course I wouldn't recommend saying, "It's none of your damn business."
Respectfully declining but offering to get tested for AIDS together would be a cute, romantic diversion. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:36:53 AM | I think if you are comfortable discussing the topic, then you should give your accurate number.
There is a double standard to stigma and sex when it comes to gender. A man's attractiveness in general to other women will often, IMHO, be seen as a plus. She might not say it, but I suspect it's a plus. Many women out there are insecure and it will validate many to have a man in a relationship that other women covet. The opposite isn't true however. Most women can get sex literally at will and so a huge number isn't seen as an achievement but a lack of discretion and possibly an inability to form a lasting commitment.
So before anyone slams me over the head with an Andrea Dworking feminist bible, I'll say again openly that it is a double standard and often a higher number will probably be seen in favor of the male.
If you are a good catch ( she likes how you look naked and you make good money or will soon in her eyes) then she's not likely to dump you for your sexual past as long as it wasn't criminal or socially seen as deviant.
But many women may lie about their number. But that makes sense to some degree. Many women know that the most desirable men out there, many don't want to marry a girl who is socially perceived as a whore or a loose woman. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:29:27 AM | Assuming you slept with these women of your own free will [weren't drugged or coerced], then you need to own up to that number. The only reason one would lie is if 1) they are ashamed of the number or 2) they worry potential dates will think less of you. If it's the latter, then that person is wrong for you anyway because your values don't line up.
Given that people these days treat sex pretty much as recreation without an emotional connection, love or marriage being a prerequisite, a number like 30 doesn't suprise me at all. But given my values and personal views on intimacy, if a guy told me he'd slept with 30 women, I'd thank him for his honesty and politely wish him luck in finding someone who is a good fit for him promiscuity-wise. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 2:01:54 AM | see? no offense intended, but that's the exact stigma I'm trying to avoid. I know people who haven't even slept with half the number that I have, but treat women like objects and only pay them any attention at all when they are trying to get laid, but going by numbers they are "reserved" compared to me.
As said, the vast majority of girls I've been with, I've dated, at least briefly. These flings or whathaveyou just never seem to develop into full relationships for one reason or another. But just because - for whatever reason - I'm not considered "boyfriend material" by the majority of girls I've gotten close to and/or dated should not mean that I'm stuck with the image of not wanting anything more than sex, because it's quite the opposite. I would much PREFER to have long, meaningful relationships and remain monogamous, but unfortunately that isn't how things have played out.
Which is why I'm with this dilemma. I don't want to offer up the information because it can paint a wrong picture of me, but at the same time I value honesty very highly. I also feel that (as a guy) if I refuse the information when asked, she would assume the number is either very low or very high, neither of which is favorable. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 2:37:56 AM | | Not that this is the case for you, but I don't think there's anything unfavorable about a very low number. I'd think it's a lot more special to one of a select few [intimacy-wise] than one of many. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 3:07:09 AM | Yes please lie. We want to know what else you lie about as well, as we all know one lie leads to many lies.
Deal breakers for some people are liars, period. Goodie for you, have had a lot of partners. Get tested every 6 months since some STD's are like Check writing. Good today, bad tomorrow.
I love people who cannot tell the truth. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 3:19:40 AM |
Well, in my defense, I have only had two or three one-night stands.
You said that you had over 30 one night stands, then you go down to one or two. Can't you keep your lies straight?
Good to see you back, Ironbelle. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 3:40:24 AM | If you don't want to answer the question and you clearly do have reservations about doing so, because you're asking us.....try a jokey response:
1. I stopped counting at 1000 (it has to be a number that highly unbelievable)
2. Do you mean today?? With a wink
3. Women? I only sleep with men (again joking)
4. Do twins count as 1 or 2?? Is your answer any different if I slept with them at the same time....whilst frying a steak?
5. Including or excluding family members?? | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 4:29:08 AM | This is always an awkward conversation that happens, usually after I've gotten to know someone decently. I tend to avoid the "how many guys have you been with?" because quite frankly its none of my business and I don't like discussing the number of girl's I've been with, I cant believe this is some huge problem for you. The last time I was asked this I was 17.
And I never kept count so by the time I was your age there was no way to of possible answered,
because quite frankly its none of my business and I don't like discussing the number of girl's I've been with, Then dont. Not sure what part of your own answer you dont grasp unless your posting this as another attention seeking thread to boast about how many partners you have had. Just tell them you have no idea on the number but that you are a HUGE studmuffin so be warned you may have diseases.
Cowboy | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 5:44:15 AM | | Of course you shouldn't lie. She deserves to know what she's getting herself into and if your values are in line. If you didn't want to have to tell a woman a number so high, then you shouldn't have been with so many women. My number is ridiculously low for a few reasons, including my comfort level, but I'm very conscious of the fact that some day I will need to explain it to my soul mate. You need to own up to your actions; you reaped the "rewards" and you should reap the consequences. | |
|
| Is it good to lie about your number?
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:27:23 AM | Only lie about anything, if you want to have what you get because of it, be a lie as well.
You can NOT build anything real and true, using lies. | |
|
Home
login 
