| | George CarlinPage 1 of 1 | I was just wondering of there were any other Carlin fans who'd like to share some of his more memorable quips...
One of my faves: "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
Also, I remember liking one of him going off on a diatribe about "proud parents," and how just because you think your child is interesting and adorable doesn't mean that other people are going to share the same opinion. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:49:47 PM | What exactly is "mid-air"? Is there another part of air besides the "mid" part?
George Washington's brother was the Uncle of our Country. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:57:27 PM | | A dog explodes on down town corner. No one was injured however several hundred flees lost thier lives in the blast. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/4/2012 7:06:03 PM | | My Fav.--I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/5/2012 1:00:04 PM | | People always tell me, "Get on the plane!" Screw you. I'm getting IN the plane. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:43:07 PM | I don't vote! I don't want to be responsible for what's going on.
Why do they call it hardware? Not all of it's hard, And you don't wear any of it. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:19:05 PM | | "Selling is legal, f##king is legal. Why isn't selling f##cking legal?" | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/6/2012 7:34:40 PM | | "The difference in men and women is simple. Women are crazy and men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid" (paraphrased cause quote is on my profile and I CAN'T GET ON SITE!!!!) | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:37:20 PM | George....most brilliant comedian ever. I can remember being a teenager and watching his HBO specials and just laughing so hard that I cried.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/8/2012 4:55:27 PM | The violence of comedy
Geez, I was DYING out there.
I KILLED 'em! KNOCKED 'em DEAD!
He was a RIOT!
A real SCREAM!
He FRACTURES me with his PUNCH lines...
And his GAGS
I BUSTED A GUT laughing!
My friend was in STITCHES!
RIB-SPLITTIN' / KNEE-SLAPPIN' / GUT-BUSTIN'
Laugh? I thought I'd DIE. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:04:30 PM | Damn, I love Youtube.
I like the uncle one :D
Obviously, Louis CK kinda blows yah? | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:31:09 PM | That's rich, I've been on a total George carlin kick recently (downloaded all his Albums and been listening to them at work)
"Haven't you noticed that most of the people against abortion are people you wouldn't want to f&*k in the first place?"
"I was a practicing Catholic until I reached the age of reason"
"Forget the drug dealers, if you want to slow down the drug trade you have to start executing these white bankers"
"A Manic will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo;
A Crazy Person with beat nine people to death with a steel dildo while wearing a Bugs Bunny costume.
We can't put all of them away, we need to keep some of them around just for the entertainment.
Like a guy who tells you that the King of Sweden is using his penis as a radio transmitter to send anti-semetic lesbian meatloaf recipes to Soupy Sails and Marvin Hamliech.
A guy like that, you want to give him his own radio show"
"I've always wondered, does a rapist leave the house in the morning with a hard-on?" | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/14/2012 3:58:06 PM | Guacamole!
It sounds like something you would say if you were on fire! | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:51:53 PM | | "And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man. No woman could or would ever **** things up like this." | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:56:40 AM | | I think the most profound Carlin routine for me is the one where he points out that it's actually the people that vote that don't have a right to complain, not the other way around. His basic reasoning is that it's these people that are supporting a broken system and also that the ***hole politicians that they vote into office are simply a reflection of the public. Brilliant political/social commentary and I agree wholeheartedly. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/16/2012 12:46:52 PM | "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."
If you're not from the UK, you probs haven't heard of Charlie Brooker and Frankie Boyle, also brilliantly abusive and funny. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:23:29 PM | | ^^ Sadly our comedy television channel in the U.S. is Comedy Central and they only like some hater named Tosh. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:33:09 PM | | "Brown shoes just don't cut it". | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/17/2012 1:08:56 AM | In the nearby city of Winnipeg, they're building a 'Human Tights Museum', organized by someone who's looking for a headline for their eventual tombstone. And the only way I could get behind it is it had George Carlin's You Have No Rights monologue carved in stone outside. Easy to look up, otherwise it's too long to quote. To wit, there are no rights, God would not have chosen those particular "God-given" rights, all countries have a different set of 'basic human rights' and they are, in fact, temporary privileges the government can take away whenever they please. The government doesn't care about you, just its power, and you have unlimited rights or no rights at all.
Yikes. Maybe I should have just riffed on the Hippy Dippy Weatherman! | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/21/2012 11:59:05 PM | | A Human Tights Museum. That I'd like to see. And I'm not even a dancer. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/22/2012 4:56:36 PM | | My favorite- I was dancing with a woman recently and she told me she had a yeast infection, and I told her 'well bake me a fukin loaf of bread!' Haha classic Carlin. | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/26/2012 3:17:05 PM | | "fighting for peace is like f***ing for virginity" | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/26/2012 7:19:55 PM | ''It's called the american dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.''
Saw him three times, was lucky enough to meet him briefly. Personally, I feel he and Bill Hicks will have philosophic recognition | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/26/2012 9:24:40 PM | | "There are some dumb mothaphuckers out there, I mean really dumb mothaphuckas" | |
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| George Carlin
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:55:26 PM |
Obviously, Louis CK kinda blows yah?
Nah. | |
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