| | is the army a turn off? Page 1 of 1 | so i was wondering if telling girls im in the army, and deployed a big turn off even if im returning soon.
my basic messge goes long the lines of this i try to change it up tho
hi, my name is steve im 21 and in the army. then i either say some more shit about my life and intrests, or ask them stuff | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:37:44 AM |
so i was wondering if telling girls im in the army, and deployed a big turn off even if im returning soon.
my basic messge goes long the lines of this i try to change it up tho
hi, my name is steve im 21 and in the army. then i either say some more shit about my life and intrests, or ask them stuff Of course it is unless you are messaging women looking for email buddies. You are deployed. Its a huge deterrent for most women if you were HERE in the states. Thats a hard enough sell for someone wanting to date. BUT DEPLOYED??? Come on you have to know the answer to this question. How has your dating been working for you when you are 4000 miles away? Wrap your deployment and try then. For now try facebook for email/chat buddies.
Cowboy | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:46:20 AM | Why are you using your real name as your screen name? Why is your name plastered on your profile?
I don't get that. For security reasons, for any site that you sign up with, don't use your real name or show it your profile.
Wait until you get back to the states, before you go messaging a bunch of people. In the meantime, work on your profile | |
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tehFi
| | Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 4 | |
| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:02:23 AM | Depends on the woman. Plenty of dudes in the army who deal with periodic deployments manage to have girlfriends, wives, familiies, etc.
I personally wouldn't date someone who was deployed simply because I don't see any long-term potential for the relationship-- those ladies who'll raise kids and keep the household 24/7, solo, for months on end are saints. I simply am not that selfless.
Sorry this answer isn't more helpful-- the world rarely operates in black and white, unfortunately! Best of luck in your search. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:56:59 AM | | I don't see anything wrong with it. Keep messaging. It will help pass time and who knows, maybe you will have a date set up before you even arrive home. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2012 1:19:30 PM | OP, think about a famous movie star. That's probably someone who travels and is busy for large portions of the year, and probably away from their mate and spouse. Plenty of women out there will wait 9 months out of the year for a wealthy good looking guy with a nice career and stands out against other men. But for those in the service, and I respect the duty and sacrifice of all men and women in uniform, there are simply a lot of servicemen out there and the relative pay rate is not going to be enough to sway most women to wait for you.
IMHO it will always come down to how women perceive you look and how much wealth/money you have, relatively speaking.
The "safe answer" is if you are leaps and bounds the best option for a woman, even against her other local options, then she's probably going to be more prone to wait for you or ride out your circumstances. If you are not, likely she won't.
I agree The Long Spring here, you are revealing far too much information than needed to maintain your dating profile. Please change your screen name, remove your duty location ( people local to you can figure it out to some degree), MOS and obscure/remove anything showing your name tape. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2012 1:53:07 PM | It isn't so much a "turn off" for me personally as a FEAR. Fear of possibly losing that person in action? No Army Wife here obviously, so sure I'll make some not so accurate Military remarks. Like a LOT of women, I find the man in uniform (women too!) just incredibly sexy. I think that appeal has to do with confidence too. It takes a VERY confident, brave person to enter in to service and I commend you all for that. I could never have that courage and I bless you and thank you for yours!
I know a few different friends who's loved one came back a little hurt on the inside too. One has some sort of bipolar fits now. But I've had as many or more friends who's loved one has been fine. One of my best friends I grew up with, he was deployed a few times and he's a pretty awesome guy. Now if he'd just stop smoking he'd be perfect! Lol
I agree with everyone on you putting out too much information. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:37:23 PM | | Its probably a turn-on for most chicks. Most of em just think of the possible benifits plus they know 100% that your CoC and CO will force you to pay child support. Hahaha. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:58:27 PM | You are hung up on this! You do not need the distraction of trying to have a relationship while you are deployed. You should be concentrating on staying mentally tough and building those bonds with those around you.
And for fvck sake....figure out a user name that isnt your actual name. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:30:36 PM | | It's not specifically that it's the military, it's just not even a long distance relationship which many (like me) wouldn't ven consider. I agree with Steel, you're just not in a situation where you can find a local girl and date right now. When you're located in a permanent place, it'll be different. Right now you're a penpal, pretty much. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/7/2012 3:25:17 AM | For me, Yes. But that's just my personal opinion!!!
I fear an army man. I fear that he will be cold, emotionless, lifeless, cruel... I know that none of these things are true! It takes great strength and determination to do what those in the army do!
I know I couldn't... I wouldn't even care to try.
I've only ever had one true friend in the army. His name was Kenny. I actually didn't even start talking to him until he was in basic training. He use to call almost nightly, after getting my number from a guy I had dated. Kenny had called to see if I was a good girl for his friend, but by the time I got the call, his friend and I had already broken up.
Kenny and I talked about the most random things! But one day the phone calls stopped. I can only assume that he got out of training? It's been years now, almost 10, since I've heard word of him. I've tried asking mutual friends, but no one knows where he is or what happened to him. ((Honestly, I don't think they really remember him...))
I fear that most of all.
If I could track Kenny down I would tell him that I prefer creamy peanut butter over crunchy. That was a question he had asked me that I never got to answer. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:21:19 AM | lol Why is there so many "guys" replying in a ask a "girl" forum? Where you all ladies in a former life?
And worse of all there giving conflicting advice to the ladies.
"FairOaksChick " seems to be giving the most sound and straight forward advice, but what do I know, I'm just a guy. :P | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:31:37 AM |
lol Why is there so many "guys" replying in a ask a "girl" forum? Where you all ladies in a former life? And yet the obvious irony of your post somehow was lost on you (long sigh...) Amazing. Truly amazing.
Cowboy | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:40:36 AM |
And yet the obvious irony of your post somehow was lost on you (long sigh...) Amazing. Truly amazing.
Cowboy
Not that amazing. I saw your response coming a mile away. Very clever. (even longer sigh.....)
Hoped the guys would be above a witty retort, see the point I was trying to make, and just let the ladies respond.
Guess I was wrong. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/7/2012 9:21:38 AM | | A nice woman who isn't just after your benefits might take pause due due to the fact you may not come back or may come back as damaged goods. Also you will be gone again and can be asked to move to BFE at a moments notice. I work for the army & see a lot of young soldiers married to ugly, fat , emotionally unstable women. You are so very young and it's tough on you there but please take your time when chosing a partner. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/7/2012 11:39:50 AM |
Not that amazing. I saw your response coming a mile away. Very clever. (even longer sigh.....)
Hoped the guys would be above a witty retort, see the point I was trying to make, and just let the ladies respond.
Guess I was wrong.
The OP has had a couple of threads asking the same thing, Its funny that you see only one sugar coated answer as the one that actually helps a guy that is deployed, and may not need the distraction. I did see that the young man changed his username so I guess he did get something from us guys......{Extremely Long Sigh}.....
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/7/2012 11:49:55 AM | Hopeshere.. Look up the "dependapotamus" in the urban dictionary as well as the u-toob song a troop did.
MountHeartbreak
I don't think an Army paycheck is a comparable female libido motivator to a movie stars. Even as a Guardsman with a great civilian career, great wardrobe and a little Italian vehicle collection.. Many who show interest in me first in real life lose it fast when I mention the guard. Even before I found out I am deploying.
OP
In most cases yes it is a turn off.. In other cases they love it. I am former regular Army and in the Guard since then. At least from what I have seen in So-cal even the Guard can be a turn off.
I am on my way back over starting next month with the guard. I had a relationship end because she could not handle the deployment. Dating between the break and heading over can be challenging. I do mention the Guard and a pending deployment in my profile so those who would bail if I dropped that bomb on a date are weeded out already.
Take into consideration that I am selective and only emailing those with an education, career, no kids to one kid, active, outdoorsy and a 7 or better.. Each week between POF, ()kcup!d, and M@tch I email 50 or more with individual original short emails specifically composed for each. The results are 1-2 dates during a two week period. When I put up better photos and stuck with the strong but short email strategy I was already doing responses increased a bit.
IMHO.. On your way home tinker with online dating a bit. In your profile be positive about getting home, about wanting to have fun, finding someone and treating her right. If that is still slow don't worry. Because coming back off a deployment you usually have a bit of extra confidence, swagger and a I don't give a ^&* about the little problems in life attitude. This should help landing dates when you meet them out on the town. | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/7/2012 11:56:57 AM | | There was a subject on watchdog some time ago apparently, that warned women on dating sites about the dangers of guys talking to them from the forces. Evidently, some guys go on posing as in the forces, always widowed, with a child and are targeting lonely and vulnerable ladies. I have had such guys contact me on numerous occasions, but because of this piece of bad "advertising" I for one wont now take a chance even though I am neither lonely or vulnerable. I did have one guy for instance, talk to me for three nights a couple of years ago, from Afghanistan, then he suddenly wanted me to send him a mobile phone and some money saying they werent allowed to have mobys there. I looked it up on the internet and found that America had donated Orange phones to all the troops of Afghanistan, so I quickly blocked him, even though I had already told him no. Maybe this has answered your question, if a little long winded | |
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| is the army a turn off?
Posted: 7/7/2012 12:01:09 PM | I must admit shamefully that it used to be a turn off for me because I thought it was selfish, I didnt want to date someone that I could fall for only for him to not be there when I need him.
Now that fear is still there but its not a turn off for me I actually think its rather sexy that a man is brave enough to do that then I fell safe (theres that security thing again that women need)
But I think it depends on the individual woman | |
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