| | Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?Page 1 of 1 | | Hi, I've never had a girlfriend before and I was wondering if this is a good place to start. I've never been a "natural" when it comes to meeting women and I don't drink so meeting women at a bar/club isn't an option. Am I on the right track being on this site or am I doing it wrong? Thank you for your opinions. | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/5/2012 2:48:20 PM |
Hi, I've never had a girlfriend before and I was wondering if this is a good place to start. I've never been a "natural" when it comes to meeting women and I don't drink so meeting women at a bar/club isn't an option. No I would rate this as maybe the worst place to start. You are going to get rejected on here over and over and over. Now how is that going to do to your non-existent self confidence?
Try meetup.com meetup groups geared towards your hobbies or interests. Not sure how you got to be 25 and never had a GF at all? You need to focus on learning how to talk to women in real life not playing online. This site is not for the weak at heart or for those without self confidence. You will get chewed up and spit out here. You have to have thick skin. You seem to be the exact opposite of what it takes to succeed here. Try dance lessons. Classes at a local community college. Co-ed sports leagues or anything but here.
Cowboy | |
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tehFi
| | Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 3 | |
| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/5/2012 2:48:26 PM | I think the dating site is what you make of it-- there is no "doing it wrong" unless you allow any rejections to become personal, and end up all bitter and angry at women/dating in general... and it happens! I really think a thick skin is essential to having "success" on these sites, particularly for men.
Maybe try getting to know some women on a friendly level first? I find men who genuinely like women and have female friends are very attractive-- they come across as more sincere, imo.
Best of luck! | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:13:49 PM | You don't have to lie, just don't volunteer it!!
Dude, you don't have to put your life story on your profile
You're on POF to get dates, that's it
Your whole profile has to be geared towards setting up dates, and you omit anything that detracts from that. | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:16:23 PM | I would agree with the poster who said that this site is what you make of it. I would caution you to keep your expectations realistic, however. A lot of men get frustrated because they send out tons of messages but get no response back. They are also under the impression that this site is some kind of magic genie that will produce their perfect woman . . . and quickly! For most people, this is not the case. But hang in there, don't take things personally if/when you don't hear back from people you message [after all, every person is looking for something different], and make sure you are putting yourself out there in the real world as well.
Good luck! :) | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:20:37 PM |
Why shouldn't it be mentioned? It doesn't seem like it's a big deal. So I need to lie about my dating history to have success on this site? You dont need to LIE he said dont mention it. Its not like its some prize for someone to have to train you on how to be in a relationship. Being 25 and never having a gf is sorta like a 35 year old guy thats a virgin. Which btw is where you are headed if you dont start working harder to get a friggin GF. You need to paint the most favorable picture you can. Thats not lying.
I mean you say you never had a GF. Do you DATE or anything? You have made out with gals etc... right?
Cowboy | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:29:08 PM | I just want an honest opinion from people. Is it a good place to start or am I just wasting my time? Its a terrible place to start. So how is your confidence going to be rocking when you send out 200 msgs here and get 3 replies?
WORK ON MEETING WOMEN IN REAL LIFE! You need confidence here. You get that by doing it. You need to be taking dance lessons or cooking classes etc so youlearn how to talk with women and make small talk etc...
Starting here is like trying to jump from 3'rd grade to high school.
Cowboy | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:04:38 PM | I'm 23 and never had a relationship either...heck I've never even really been on a date! Now I doubt we are the only two 20 somethings in the world who have never been in relationships.
I really don't think its that big of an issue. However, I have found that when I tell people this they assume that I lack experience in other aspects of "love". Those people have never heard the saying "Never assume because it makes an ass of me and an ass of you." You will most likely encounter the same.
I have been on here for a bit and haven't had much luck finding "men." At our age it is actually much easier to meet people out in the real world. I suggest getting out more, ask your friends if they know anyone single, etc. and keeping your profile on here as well. Nothing wrong with having a plan B or scoping out options in two different pools of people.
Goodluck!! | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:09:29 PM | You are a good looking dude with a profile that at least looks like you put some thought to it...you should do just fine. I would put up a few more pictures.
This is a dating site...you dont need to have had a girlfriend before to accomplish that. | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:12:17 PM | I think of it as just another venue to meet new people you MAY want to date. Not any better or worse than any other, that being said, don't make it the only one. It should be an addition to a fairly rich social life.
If I were 20 years younger......haha....well be glad I'm not. | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/6/2012 5:25:10 AM | I'm with Bucsgirl. ANYPLACE is a good place to start to try to find your first girlfriend. Except perhaps the Men's locker room.
Because you are a total beginner, anywhere you go you will find things that you know nothing about, and where you can embarrass yourself to no end, while gradually figuring everything out.
Now if you were wondering if this were a good way to get started in a less painful manner than you would have in a live venue, then yes it is, in it's way. Online has the advantage that there isn't a crowd of other people who can see you walk across the room and try to strike up a conversation with a gal, and see you get publicly shot down, as you will find in bars and clubs and such.
But since women are women wherever you go ... wait a minute. I should probably mention that one of the dangers of Online is, that some of the women are actually psychotic a-hole men, who get kicks from pretending to be women in order to get another guy to make a fool of himself.
Anyway, do a ton of reading in the forums. It WILL help you, if you do enough of it. | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/6/2012 5:42:32 AM | | I think if you are going to stay on here, just be careful and don't let it affect your self esteem. I had a hard time with that when I first started. I do however think it could help you when it comes to practicing covos back and forth with the messaging. Just be cautious, there are a LOT of false profiles with fake info, or pictures that are copied from the net...and if there's only one pic...really be cautious. I think in most peoples situation, having a profile on here can't hurt..so give it a shot but don't put all your eggs into one basket...try to find other ways besides bars to meet women. I know it's hard, I dont' drink either but definitely look other things in your town! Good luck! | |
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| Are dating websites a good place to start if you've never had a gf?
Posted: 7/6/2012 8:49:04 AM | I haven't been in a relationship in four years myself, and I've just decided a couple of months ago that I wanted to start dating again. So I'll be doing the whole routine - the more you go 'out there' and do things the better your chances are. Friends who know singles, hobbies that get you out of the house, and classes (I do karate) are all offline activities that increase your chances of meeting someone.
These online dating sites, to me, are just another way of improving my chances of finding someone. I put some thought into writing a genuine profile and I've messaged a few girls who seemed interesting. If they don't respond, then they are the ones missing out as far as I'm concerned. The problem with online dating in my limited experience is that everyone has this checklist of who Mr/Ms Perfect should be like in their magical fantasy land of imaginary men/women, which really does not apply to the real world. | |
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