| | Health and dating over 50.Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | With old age creeping upon us.... we are faced with many health concerns we never worried about in our youth.
That being said.....
It is important that we take care of ourselves by trying to shed pounds, cut back on alcohol and fatty foods etc....
So my question is..... when you are on a meet and great or first date and you notice your date has very unhealthy habits and looks unhealthy or unkempt does this play a factor in repeat dates?
Personally, it does for me. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 12:05:06 PM | I certainly don't want to date a man who needs a nurse to take care of him or owes a small fortune in medical bills.
I have met a few diabetics who drink pepsi and beer like fish.
Sad.... | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 12:08:35 PM | | I have bad habits. But I am healty, low bp, low colesterol.. active. So as long as we have the same bad habits I'm good with it. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 12:17:59 PM | Yes if he looks unhealthy I would pass on him.. I met one man that I was sure was not going to live another year. I highly doubt he will.. Unfortunate nothing he can do about it at this point.. I will trust my intuition give him 12 months at best... He tired after walking a few blocks and his skin color was scary.. When I questioned him a little found out he was in fact under doctors care..
Awful when you meet someone that you instantly know is on the road home..He was really nice soul what a shame.. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 12:43:21 PM | from my perspective, it depends on the degree of health or unhealth ... I've not known many people who
were NOT "under a doctor's care" to one degree or another ... I mean, you all DO have annual physicals,
don't you?
I think it would be more of a reason to back off if a person WASN'T "under a doctor's care" ... I mean, if
they bragged about having never seen a doctor when they're in obvious ill health ... some people seem to be
frightened about going to the doctor when, if they would see an M.D., there might be a simple "fix" to their
medical condition ...
at my age (older than you'all, I suspect without checking) ... I expect some sort of medical monitoring to
be going on ... for example, I have asthma and see a pulmonologist annually ... he's a cute guy and we both
enjoy our annual visits ... for the most part, we laugh and he tells me some sort of joke ... he monitors my
breathing, hands me another "rescue inhaler," writes another script and I'm off until next year ... I'd
certainly hope people wouldn't avoid dating me based on me, taking care of me ...
edit: Stella ... what kind of fish are you hanging with who drink Pepsi and beer !!! ???
| |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 12:46:07 PM | No drinkers, smokers or men who eat unhealthy. No obese men or drug users. They do not have to be a vegan or body builder, but no falling apart guys...
I would not be attracted to such a man...sorry if it sounds stuck up! | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 1:17:38 PM | I am a bbw chaser so there are certain conditions like type 2 diabetes that a man with my sort of preference is going to have to live with. I cannot be in a relationship with a smoker because cigarette smoke makes me sick. I don't want to be in a relationship with an active alcoholic although someone with five or more years in A.A. is fine with me.
The older we get the more likely we are to have survived some sort of health scare be it cancer, a heart attack, m.s. or diabetes. Even people who took care of themselves and did everything right will find that they cannot outrun genetics forever. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 1:48:20 PM | I wouldn't have anything in common with an unhealthy inactive type of man ... I wouldn't even go and meet him in the first place let alone have a relationship with him.
NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Do you get my drift? | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 2:38:59 PM |
I mean, you all DO have annual physicals,
don't you?
I think it would be more of a reason to back off if a person WASN'T "under a doctor's care" ... I mean, if
they bragged about having never seen a doctor when they're in obvious ill health ... some people seem to be
frightened about going to the doctor when, if they would see an M.D., there might be a simple "fix" to their
medical condition ...
at my age (older than you'all, I suspect without checking) ... I expect some sort of medical monitoring to
be going on ..
Annual physicals, blood work done , blood pressure checked, and the list goes on.. However I am on no medications and am not under a doctors care since he has yet to treat me for anything.. So do not consider myself under his care as in treating me.. That is not to say I would not date someone who was it would depend on what they were being treated for as well as their prognosis.. | |
|
qnd
| | Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 10 | |
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 3:02:08 PM | The issue to me is lifestyle, not necessarily the naturally aging condition of someone's body. I don't like the smell of cigarette smoke. People who eat stuff that I won't put in my body often have BO that really repulses me. I can't have a cooking date - shopping for groceries, chopping veggies together - with someone who eats foods that I won't put into my body.
If you can't get up a flight of stairs because you were a long distance runner in your younger days and your knees are starting to hurt, I'd be happy to push your wheel chair for the rest of our days together. Weight, blood pressure, eye condition, appearance of teeth and gums, amount of pain in joints - these are some of the conditions that can change for the worse as we get older, sometimes because we DID use our bodies in our younger days, and in many cases, there isn't a darned thing that we can do about it. That they change in some folks is OK by me; that some folks make the decision to live a slovenly lifestyle that interacts negatively with those changes is not OK.
Equally bad, however, are the people who focus on appearance rather than lifestyle. A profile deal killer for me is the line, "I'm in the best shape of my life." I always want to write to those women to say, "Lady, if you are in the best shape of your life at age 55, you must have been a twenty year old in really sad shape." Unnaturally white teeth in a fifty something is a turn-off to me; the gal is not living a healthy lifestyle, but is instead attempting to fake it by spending money on something that looks as stupid as bald guys in the seventies who looked like clowns in their ill-fitting toupees.
So yes, unhealthy lifestyle habits, not body condition alone, create a deal killer for me. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 3:09:49 PM | You know, I dated a guy for five months.
He was very unhealthy and I did everything I could to help him eat healthier and exercise and help him get off the many RX meds he was on. But, in the end he was just plain lazy and wanted the attention he received from being so sick.
I finally had to break up with him because I did not want to be with a man who didn't care about his health or wanting to live longer. Pills are not going to make you live longer, they only mask the problem especially if you can control the problem through proper nutrition, etc.
So yes, it does bother me if I went on a date with a man who refuses to take care of himself or not eat something he isn't supposed to eat.
You only live once and you only have this one body, take care of it! | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 3:22:04 PM | | My guy and I like our beer, but only 2-4 a couple of times a week. We are healthy, normal BMI, no meds, and in good shape, well, he more than I on the last part. It's hard for me to get motivated to work out. Luckily, I am pretty active at work. And though we get checked out once a year, I don't consider us under a Dr's care. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 6:35:52 PM | | I take my vitamins & compounded progesterone too. I look healthy. I could not stand being w/ an unhealthy man, it would drag me down...plus I want to be w/ someone who looks as healthy as me & who is emotionally healthy as well! | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:14:16 PM | Yes, that matters to me -- not only whether the guy works out, but what his diet is and whether he smokes or drinks excessively.
I've had problems in this area with a couple of the guys I dated recently. One, an avid cyclist, has high blood pressure but doesn't take his meds and eats NO vegetables, ever, but plenty of high salt processed food and Mountain Dew and doughnuts for breakfast every day. He is only 48 but cruisin' for a stroke or heart attack. The other guy has a big beer gut and eats a lot of fatty foods....the one time I asked him to go hiking he asked me "how far?" And he hadn't been on a bicycle since high school, although he was gonna buy one soon.......
Needless to say, these relationships didn't work out for me. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:31:11 PM | | Yes, it is a major factor. I eat healthy and am physically active. I want someone who is compatible. By sharing a similar lifestyle, you also support each other. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 8:46:32 PM | | I am a nurse so it's impossible for me not to think about the effect of disease on life expectancy. I will probably outlive even a healthy man of my age so if he isn't in good health I'll be left alone even sooner. I don't want to fall in love with someone who is guaranteed to die prematurely. Now if he's a 90 yr old billionaire I'll run off to Vegas for a quickie wedding. Just kidding!! | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 9:08:21 PM | i just came back from grocery shopping- lots of fresh produce, greek yougurt, beans, nuts, soy products, whole grain & multi grain products, I even got that thing "yonana" to make healthy fruit sorbets, etc...I stay on a diet all freaking week & eat out once a week now, I only deviate when it is vaca or my birthday, I like healthy stuff on holidays too...so what do I need w/ a man who wants crappy food all the time?
I do not hike, I used to walk alot & am recovering from surgery & also used to go to the gym, I will be going back soon...what do I need w/a lazy man?
Now if he's a 90 yr old billionaire I'll run off to Vegas for a quickie wedding. ditto- one good session should kill him off! at least he'd go w/ a smile on his face ;oP | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 9:20:49 PM | | I quit drinking pop and switched to whole wheat bread in the last year. I think that helps keep the BMI in line. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/7/2012 10:37:39 PM | Yeah I went to the store today too.. got some fried chicken from the deli, and some sushi, and a diet dr. pepper.. first one I have had in months :)
this morning I rode two horses, weed eated my garden, harvested, dug up an irrigation pipe and fixed it, watered everything, cleaned the chicken coop.... etc in the hot sun, just kicken butt getting things done.
I may not be into all the health food stuff, but I raise most my food, enjoy an active life. I think we are all wired differently, and altho I don't follow the proper health protocol I would venture to guess i am as healthy if not healthier than many. My heart, bp, all that stuff is in very good shape.
I guess my point is, lifestyle doesn't always mean you are healthy or unhealthy... a lot of it is genetics too. You can tell health issues pretty easily in most cases. If they can't keep up, its gonna be a drag for ya....I get that. But you can't always "judge" by what you see. Finding someone "compatable" is always the goal...right? | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/8/2012 2:04:24 AM | I, personally, would not throw away a chance at meeting somebody reasonably just because he was under the care of a doctor. It could be - or any one us - now or at some point of time in the future that it happens for us. Since I have a moderate case of nosophobia (after seeing my dear, beloved great-grandfather suffer through terrible medical problems related to Emphysema), I exert effort in keeping illness and death in perspective and not allowing natural progressions in life to sully my happiness.
It's why I stay away from fanatical healthnuts. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/8/2012 3:55:45 AM | OP wrote
It is important that we take care of ourselves by trying to shed pounds, cut back on alcohol and fatty foods etc....
So my question is..... when you are on a meet and great or first date and you notice your date has very unhealthy habits and looks unhealthy or unkempt does this play a factor in repeat dates?
I do understand that I do not want to end up pushing her wheelchair around next year, but genetics does rule sometimes. Make certain after the third date, that the forth date is a blood sampling date at the hospital for a full blood work-up.
OK, now I will not take her out for fried tofu and drinks. I'll make it baked tofu and organic green iced tea w/o the honey.
Bottom line: One way or the other, six feet under.
Yes, I do weigh five hundred pounds and still love only thin women. So? What the point? | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/8/2012 6:32:31 AM | | Alot of it is genetic though,as I have never been into junk food(don't remember the last time I ate fast food)mostly fruits and veges,take alot of vit and herbs and have worked out in some form for 40 years,still have high cholesterol(rans in the family). | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/8/2012 6:42:31 AM | | Good health in a dating partner is an issue. As a male I find many women are on antidepressants or other psych meds. Although I date such women I would never consider them as life partners. I have known men who were quite healthy and successful at dating; then something happened that affected their health and women did not want to date them anymore. So it works both ways. Most people going in want a healthy partner although of course over time we all age and eventually develop health problems if we live long enough. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/8/2012 6:51:27 AM | There are no guarantees in life, just ask Arthur Ashe- a world class athlete who suffered a heart attack at the age of 36 despite his high level of fitness. You can do everything by the book and still have a blocked artery.
I can understand (and concur with) not wanting to date someone who seems determined to destroy their health, but just because they are under a doctor's care for some condition? It is possible to recover from and/or live a long and active life with a health "challenge." I guess for me, it depends on what it is and how they are dealing with it.
Having observed the end stages of my parents' and grandparents' lives, I have come to the conclusion that one way or another we all end up alone. I live for today. | |
|
| Health and dating over 50.
Posted: 7/8/2012 7:24:44 AM | | What a hoot! This is like a diet and lifestyle version of Monty Python's Four Yorkeshiremen sketch! ;-) | |
|
Home
login 
