| | Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.Page 1 of 1 | | So I broke up with my long term boyfriend in May, but our relationship really ended before that. He did not want the same things from life as me but it took me a really long time to face that and move on. A few weeks later, I made a POF profile. I started talking to a really smart, funny, cute guy. We talked for a few weeks, and then he asked me to dinner. We had an awesome time, he spent the night, and we continued to talk every day. We hung out again about a week later. After our second night together things started to get weird. We never talked on the phone, just texted. And he did not seem as interested. After another week and a half I finally asked him, via text, what was up. He said he didn't want to see me anymore. I said okay, good luck. One thing with this guy, I knid of sensed from the beginning he was emotionally unavailable. I mean, we NEVER talked about emotional things. I let him lead and he never led there and I was okay with it because I thought it'd come in time. But it never did, and I feel like I had no closure with him. And now I feel so stuck on him. And I can't figure out why. It makes no sense! He was really cool, but so are plenty of other guys. I kee thinking he is going to call and say he made a mistake. I think I had an isea of who he was and the reality is so different, I just can't face it. Or something. So what is up with this and how do I move on? I am so out of practice with this dating stuff. I have decided I'm not going to date anymore until I am "over" him, but how long should that take when we only talked for about 6 weeks and met twice? | |
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| Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.
Posted: 7/7/2012 3:14:47 PM | | You met him after talking a few weeks and let him spend the night? that may be your answer. He got what he wanted, what is there to stick around for? | |
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| Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.
Posted: 7/7/2012 4:15:30 PM | lol what are you getting over your imagination..... he's not spending one moment in time trying to get over you if he even remembers your name...... You move on by developing intrests, loving life
((( pet peeve... pictures of children in your profile with so many nuts protect your children..)))))) | |
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| Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.
Posted: 7/7/2012 4:36:43 PM |
You met him after talking a few weeks and let him spend the night? that may be your answer. He got what he wanted, what is there to stick around for?
BINGO!! | |
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| Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.
Posted: 7/7/2012 5:44:17 PM | It's not him you have to get over, obviously. It wasn't him you "fell for."
He probably wasn't really "emotionally unavailable," either. That you could think so after a SINGLE meeting, even as part of a one-night-stand, means that you were yourself the OPPOSITE of emotionally unavailable, you were in full rebound mode, and dumped your entire emotional life into a relative strangers lap, while deluding yourself that he was the savior of your broken heart.
You probably would be wise to discipline yourself to JUST date for companionship and/or activities for a while, until you can become clear in your mind, how much of what you think you perceive is actually the other person, and how much is your wishful thinking running away with you. | |
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| Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.
Posted: 7/7/2012 6:52:15 PM | | You are 34 years old....and have kids. It sounds to me like you are very emotionally immature. He spent the night on your first date? And you want closure now? He got what he wanted and you thought this was going to lead to a mature, adult relationship? Maybe you should start dating when you graduate from middle school...if not for you-- for the sake of your kids anyway. | |
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| Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.
Posted: 7/9/2012 12:14:30 PM | | There wasn't even a relationship to seek closure for! But in any case, you DID get closure. Its not like he just disappeared, he told you he was no longer interested. BAM! Time to forget it. 6 weeks? You should be over it now. | |
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| Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.
Posted: 7/13/2012 7:00:43 AM | Theres nothing confusing about dating, its just a case of getting your priorities and self respect right.
When will people learn that to have sex soooooooooooooo bloody quick is a sure fire way to screw up. You talked for 6 weeks and met twice. There is no way on this Earth you would know him well enough to bump uglies with AND keep your self respect.
He got what he wanted. Simple. Theres no need for him to hang around now. | |
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largo2
| | Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 12 | |
| Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.
Posted: 7/13/2012 10:21:30 AM | This is for Gurugi
Healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes. This is not a forum to make personal attacks based on your personal preferences. | |
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| Forgot how confusing dating is... UGH.
Posted: 7/13/2012 11:48:39 AM | | First, I'm sorry you're hurting because no matter how little sense it makes to anyone else, those are your feelings. I'm MUCH older than you, still not in a relationship, was recently dumped by a wonderful man who told me for 1 1/2 years that he didn't want to be in a relationship. Then 2 months ago he decided he wanted to date a women he knew before me. I didn't know she existed. I'm crushed. But I do agree with everyone else that you had sex WAY too soon. I usually have used the 4th or 5th date as a rule but even then a lot of men are gone as soon as they get sex. I really disagree with all the people who have said you must wait til you're over him to date. The longer you go without seeing other men, the more important this one will stay in your heart. That's why I've been on here again, as well as going to public things such as dances to try to meet someone new even though my heart is still broken. Again, sorry for your pain and they guy who said you're fat, well that was just mean. | |
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