| | On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a FriendPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | I went out on a first date and this guy said I don't know how many times, that he's looking for a good friend, someone he can feel close to, then he kept mentioning the nice hotels he likes to stay at, etc ....
I think he really gave me mixed meanings, that he wants a friend he can sleep with! Aint gonna happen with me.
If I have guy friends, they are in categories for me, I don't sleep with these guys period. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/7/2012 9:51:39 PM |
Why didn't you just ask him what he was looking for?
because if there is attraction, (she sounds possibly attracted to him)to point blank put her pointey-gun hand gesture to his temple and ask, means- that alone could scare him off....on a first meet, this may or may not be the best move. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/7/2012 10:56:06 PM | | Yeah, I had three dates with a guy who gave me mixed messages the entire time. I realized after awhile that he seemed to be hiding something, so I simply said goodbye, and--POOF--I was gone. LOL | |
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Bezoa
| | Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 9 | |
| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/7/2012 11:04:33 PM | Maybe, he's thinking a good lay may be better than a friend; doesn't mean that if that don't pan out friend may still be in the cards. Maybe he doesn't see friend in you so he's going another way; that doesn't mean he hasn't thought of friends at some point. Maybe he'd **** anything that moves, so that is is priority, and lying isn't that big a deal to him; who knows?
See, you're thinking a friend, maybe a boyfriend if he's good enough; or so it seems. It's just different points of view. You're probably not all black and white yourself. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/8/2012 6:27:02 AM | Because he asked me!
He's not bad looking at all. If he were American, saying I'm looking for a goo d friend I can get close to, and then mentioning the nice hotels, I would know for sure what he wants.
Since the guy wasn't born American, I think his words might be a little bit mixed up.
We first met for drinks, then he picked the most fancy expensive restuarant, for a first date, meeting. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/8/2012 7:47:46 AM | The way you describe things, it sounds as though you were sexually attracted to him, and that's why you accepted the Date (you call it a date, I would myself would call looking to build a non-sexual relationship something else, but I'm picky). But you were offended that he only wanted an FWB arrangement, and so after the fact, you decided that foreigners are all hinky after all. Then to make yourself feel better about the fact that you were yourself hoping for more than simple friendship, you posted this thread to try to get a bunch of other people to say you were right to be disgusted with him, and that you are right to categorize people, not as simply different, but as "defective" versus "okay."
Personally, I don't see the point. You gave it a shot with a guy, he turned you off with the FWB thing, so you passed on him. No need to broadcast about it. No need for "votes." If you feel bad about pretending to only want friends when you were really after more, then sort that out with your conscience, and do better next time. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/8/2012 7:54:18 AM |
What mixed signals?... """I don't know how many times, that he's looking for a good friend..mentioning the nice hotels"""" .....nothing mixed about it.. fwb....
Maybe he was just trying to make it clear he wanted to go " Dutch treat!"  | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:51:23 AM | | I don't think he wanted to go dutch, he kept pulling out his cc the whole time, and he picked that fancy restuarant, I wasn't even dressed that nice for it, but they let me in. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/9/2012 4:11:14 PM | I'll fill in at a later time, I'll fill in at a later time, I'll fill in at a later time, I'll fill in a later time, I'll fill in at a later time.
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Nice profile! You hardly qualify as a friend so if this is what turned him onto meeting you, he prolly meant he was
willing to spring for the room if you just moaned a few more vowels. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/9/2012 4:41:05 PM | First of all Laccey, You have put yourself on a dating website that is called "plenty of fish", So you have already degraded yourself to a FWB at best. Come on now, if any woman including myself thinks that there is going to be a life long romance from this website , they are simply crazy. See Laccey you aready have been tagged as a peice of fish/ass at best. Now you thinks you can put him in your friends list? Good Luck!
Just as you went home and checked your email for another victim, He also did the exact same thing. therefore everybody will get played and lead astray here for obvious reasons, This website is a legal PIMP front for both men and woman. Go meet someone face to face and let nature take it course. The fact you dont show your picture also means your cheeting on your spouse or ytour not pretty enough to get a date. RED flags for anybody. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/9/2012 4:57:12 PM | ^^^
Hey romance is possible.
Just not with the majority of guys that email you.
Email who you like to increase your possibilities.
As to the OP's question:
Ask him.
Never assume.
If you like him, negotiate your dating parameters.
If he's interested, he'll deal.
If not, he will just have to get that hotel room for someone else. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/9/2012 5:47:06 PM | | He is looking for friends with benefits of course. If he is on a dating site he wants sex. If you are not interested in that, or attracted to him, then move on. Men dont want to be friends only with women usually unless they feel that some day they may get them in bed. That is natural and only gay men want women friends I would say. Men say they want friendship in order to make you feel that it wont be a short term or one night stand thing, to get you into bed and then they may be gone or want to continue with FWB. If he is really wanting a relationship with you then he will wait until you are ready for intimacy. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/9/2012 5:50:59 PM | Never married and no kids. He may say that and if he is from another land you would not know his true history anyway.
If you cant check up on his background then I wouldnt risk an involvement. That he mentions hotels is a red flag for me that he may not want anything more than sex and is married or partnered. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:17:33 PM | He wasn't sending mixed signals at all.
He was hoping you would go to one of the hotels with him and struck out. Can't blame a guy for trying. Yes maybe he is just checking you out to see if you are a lady or a professional , but I doubt it.
Probably end of the story with this guy.
But I would definitely not get anywhere alone if he is that pushy. One vague reference he should have taken the hint. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:09:11 PM | He was fairly straight forward. Sounds like the problem was he was cute but only wanted to sleep with you.
He could have been less direct, lie about how he has feelings for you, or wants to be friends first, take things slow, blah blah, then do the pump and dump. | |
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| On First Date, Guy Says He's Looking for a Friend
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:38:49 PM | newonthescene76
It sounds like the guy was feeling around to see your reaction to a FWB situation.
yup what she said.
typically if a guy says he looking for friends he means fwb Or perhaps possiable dating down the road..
only time when a guy means just strict friends is if he is gay or has completly given up his life an penis to God.. | |
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