| | Trying to not date someone based on looks...Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | | So I met this person I believe is pretty cool and we hit it off some.... but looks wise I'm not crazy over her or anything. By that I don't know if I'll have that much sexual attraction. I think she has a beautiful face but I don't know if its fair to try to continue out things if in the end I don't have enough physical draw towards her. Is it possible to throw looks out the window? | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:30:35 PM | | If it wasn't possible then all single people would be ugly and all attractive people wouldn't be.. and that's obviously not the case is it? This is another personal thing. If you can look past it, then you can. If you can't then you can't. It all depends on you and what you can do. If everything else is enough to overcome the looks thing then good.. if not.. then looks like a friend zone. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:37:07 PM | | Sure it's possible, but only if you really feel that way. If you are faking it, it's not going to work. If her looks are a turn off for you, it's not like you are faking that, it's how you really feel, so be honest with yourself and move on. You don't have to tell her she's not good looking enough for you, you can tell her it's not working for you. There's being honest and then there's being harmful, she looks how she looks, she's not required to look a way you need. If you see what I mean. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:37:48 PM | | if you aren't attracted to her, then don't take things any further. no, you can't just throw looks out the window. you have to be physically attracted to the person. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:40:15 PM |
So I met this person I believe is pretty cool and we hit it off some.... but looks wise I'm not crazy over her or anything. By that I don't know if I'll have that much sexual attraction. I think she has a beautiful face but I don't know if its fair to try to continue out things if in the end I don't have enough physical draw towards her. Is it possible to throw looks out the window?
It's not possible for me. I'm sure it's possible for others, but not me. (If you're implying she's overweight, I want to caution you about one thing: sometimes people with beautiful faces lose weight. I recall being told, "You have a beautiful face, but....." when I was 20. He was singing a different tune a year later when I'd dropped 50 pounds. By then? I wanted nothing to do with him.) JMO  | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:40:22 PM | Yes and No.
While initial impressions do count for alot, people do become more and less sexy as you get to know them.
For example, a person passing gas at the wrong time, or a person dancing well can change an impression of how attractive someone is. Similar to their choice of clothing, selection of colors, demonstrated aptitudes and skills such as cooking, artistic skills, athletic ability, success in career, good with children can all influence impressions and levels of attraction.
If you have someone that is "close" to passable, they can move up... of course, it's nowhere near guaranteed. They can move down as well. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:43:50 PM | try and look at it this was.
To other women, though you may be funny, smart, and a great person all around, your looks may not match to their standards, yet they give you that opportunity to shine above all of your flaws physically. When things are past the first few stages and you're still talking to this girl, and she's still has your interest cause you can't stop talking with one another, what should a physical flaw be than anything more than a flaw you see past all other good traits she possesses.
If you are doubting whether you should continue, don't push yourself to try and keep doing something you don't want too, because in the end, you'll end up wasting your time and hers. She will get hurt, we all do, but would you kick yourself for being so "shallow" and have this be a constant struggle for every other woman out there?
We all can't have the supermodel girlfriends or boyfriends, but if you really are not attracted physically, and dont want to kiss or touch her, than there would be no point. Emotional and Physical attraction usually (if not always) come hand in hand. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:45:14 PM | | How long has it been? I was set up on a blind date in 2005 with this tall, handsome guy and at the first meet, I could tell he was attractive (you mention your girl ha a beautiful face) but just wasn't my type. He came in to get a haircut with me and let me do it however I wanted : ). As I saw him more I realized he really was my type even dressed the way I like and had really sexy glasses. Seven years have passed and I am convinced I will NEVER meet anyone more attractive than him. Something to think about ; ) | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:57:25 PM | | So you are saying she is over weight,lol...It is very possible, to date someone more so for their personality...Just have sex with her 5 times a day, and she will thin out in no time... | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:57:51 PM | | Of course it is, if the attraction is not there you can't make it happen! Better to know that early on than to lead someone on. Personally I would respect someone much more if they were upfront, we're only human. :) | |
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Bezoa
| | Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 11 | |
| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:26:59 PM | This guy gets with this hottest woman, gets in a relationship with her. At first, he finds her so hot, he can barely contain his attraction to her, but eventually he gets accustomed to being with her and she becomes average to him.
This other guy gets with this cool girl he finds not too attractive, he gets in a relationship with her. At first, he finds a lot of flaws in her looks, but eventually he gets accustomed to being with her and she becomes average to him.
So you see, in my opinion, it's only the beginning of the relationship that may be a little different when it comes to looks. But that's how I am of course; doesn't mean you are like that at all. Al's I know is that there are a lot of guys cheating on gorgeous women out there; bored with them and what not.
I'll go for personality any day. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:36:48 PM | | Might be possible for some, but I can't do it no matter how much I'd maybe like to. I even meet the ones that don't have a picture on their profile, but in most cases just not there when I meet them. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:55:29 PM | | It is possible I believe for some, for others it may not be. I am a very visual person and looks are important to me. Probably more than they should be but I guess that is just how I am wired. Idk. It takes a banging personality to overcome looks for me, and it has been done a few times. I met a guy one time who wasn't all that attractive but his personality was rockin and he totally won me over with that. Sometimes a personality makes a person more attractive, just sayin'. Also another thing I tell myself, looks do fade. We don't stay attractive forever. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:59:15 PM | in the end I don't have enough physical draw towards her. Is it possible to throw looks out the window?
At your age you should have plenty of options for dates, if you can't easily pick her up you shouldn't throw anything out that window...
People can change their body weight over years IF motivated enough to actually eat low-calorie high nutritional diet and also exercise daily and make that complete lifestyle change that's required.
Do you think your attractive face friend would actually change lifestyle enough? To lose 50lbs in a year? Not many would, so don't count on it. Many people gain 10lbs every year instead.
Could be okay to stay just friends and date others in the meantime, after all you are so young and should be dating around. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 11:13:24 PM | I personally think that it can be overlook, however; as bad as I hate to say this - it seems that around 80% of relationships these days are based on physical attraction. I do understand that you do need to be somewhat attracted to the person physically but I've noticed being disabled that looks is much more important than they'll tell you.
Granted, I think that a relationship is so much more than just looks. There are so many aspects that make up a great relationship and in my humble opinion, many of those traits and understandings have become a lost tradition if you will. Personally - if you like her then give her the opportunity to shine but just my opinion man.
Happy hunting! | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/8/2012 11:26:46 PM | There are so many top people out there M/F that don't get 1/2 a chance of finding a relationship based on physical judgement. So the moral of "don't judge a book by its cover" is a lie after all???
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/9/2012 1:20:41 AM | I think physical attraction is not just based on look, this is why I try to meet people in person, there is so much else going on.
My ex smell drove me wild, I swear. One of my mate is tall and athletic and his girlfriend is short and BBW, she has really dark eyes and he confess me that when she gives him a bj and look up in his eyes he feels like in heaven, something that never happened with other girls.
I suppose those things are attraction don't based on look, of course when you see a good looking girl you think you would be with her, but I think physical attraction is more complex, there is also personality involved. It is that thing that drives you crazy and does not make you think about anything else a part that be with that person.
Maybe it is just me. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/9/2012 1:49:46 AM | | Sometimes, once in a blue moon, you fall in love with who they are and looks fall to the wayside. It's not something that's easy to explain, you just know it's possible once you experience it. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/9/2012 2:53:20 AM | | Hey OP,... if her personality hasn't made her seem more attractive, then your wasting both your time,... let her find someone that will adore her, and you find someone that you can adore,... simple as that ;) | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:20:50 AM |
I think she has a beautiful face but I don't know if its fair to try to continue out things if in the end I don't have enough physical draw towards her. Is it possible to throw looks out the window?
Meaning,she's overweight, but pretty?
No,it's not fair to lead her on romantically, if you don't have any sexual attraction to her.Period.
It's only possible to throw looks out the window if you want a friend,but she has a right to
informed knowledge from you about your lack of sexual interest in her before you continue this with her.
Do the right thing or you WILL hurt her feelings down the line. | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:47:34 AM | I made the huge mistake in the past of dating men that I liked for certain qualities but was not attracted to in the physical sense...DISASTER...and not fair to them either!
Now that I am older, it is very rare for me to encounter an available man who I find attractive... | |
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| Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:53:57 AM | | Initial attraction takes place rather quick....then the hard part of learning comes in and what you have in common....looks arent everything BUT they do play a part in attraction also.....I dated a woman for 5 yrs and considered the attraction more toward the inside and actual person rather than the outside.....in the end and sad to say she was a busy mom which I admired very much and had no time for the relationship.....and yes feelings were there and yes it sucked to say good-bye.....evaluate your situation.....good luck! | |
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