| | whats the point of being a good man if your not seenPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | I know your gonna ask me a ? what is a good man. A good man is a man that tries to stick to family values and wants to be someone a woman can trust and feel safe around. I have tried and tried to message people on this site and its almost like women have so much I want I want on their list that they wont even give a man a chance. I am to the point where this site is making me feel like I'm more invisable than i was when i first came to it. I don't believe in being despite because that kind of man pushes a woman way, I don't hit women since I was raised better than that and I will not ever go as low as to cheat on a woman so can someone please tell me if thats my big mistake because it seems like idiots are all women like now adays Btw when did women stop believing in us men that actually wanted to make a difference in this world. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/9/2012 1:53:33 PM | What you fail to understand is that being a good man is its own reward.
You also dont seem to understand that being a good man is expected and a minimum requirement. It's all the other wonderful things you are that get attention.
Being "good" simply is the very basic requirement for living in a civilized society, it doesnt earn you any special consideration. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/9/2012 2:32:04 PM | So you think that not hitting women and not cheating on them is enough for them be lining up to date you? Why not look at those want lists that women have on their profiles and try to meet those requirements. When it comes to dating, women have most of the power and that's just a fact you will need to accept and adapt to if you plan to date.
And fyi, most woman do not want a good man (a.k.a. a boring wimp), they want a good man with bad boy tendencies (an assertive, confident, slightly dangerous man). | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:02:57 PM | | I think what it is is to find love on this planet you have to follow the worlds way of love and since I dont have that kind of heart its harder to find happiness. I believe in the kind of love that use to exist back when marriage meant alot more than it does today. I believe in a relationship that a man and a woman should be on the same level to where they work together and not aginst each other. I swear at times when i look out at this world all i see is people breaking promises and it makes me sad marriage is a bond that should not be breakable it is something that should be able to withstand any attack it takes. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:13:14 PM | OP, a man can be as nice as they come, but before even meeting in person, how is anybody to know? And even then, how is a woman to know that you don't hit women or cheat? Just because you say so???
Meaning to get attention you have to rev up your profile and as you say you're not getting replies to your emails, most likely your messaging style.
Maybe you want to take a look at these want lists in women's profiles you're referring to get what they say they want and tailor your profile accordingly?
Post #4: And fyi, most woman do not want a good man (a.k.a. a boring wimp), they want a good man with bad boy tendencies (an assertive, confident, slightly dangerous man).
While I believe assertive and confident are qualities any woman is looking for in a man, the other bad boy tendencies might not be appealing to women who are actually looking for a LTR with the goal of settling down. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:25:24 PM | Well first a profile review would help.
Your profile seems like you stumbled out of some 1950's church camp.
You have GOD as your top interest.
And family provider as your profession.
OK, I am not knocking your spiritual views
or you nobly providing for your family.
It is just we often use our noble virtues
as a blindfold to keep us from seeing what we need to know about ourselves....
to achieve our goals.
In your case, you only need stretch yourself abit.
and see the world in a new way to get to where you want to be.
You do not have to lose 40 lbs or buy a jag.
..so overall....you have it easier than most.
So let me gently unwind your mental bandanna to let in some light.
You should list your profession.
whatever it is.
Most women ALREADY provide for their own families.
That you do seems like bragging on what they do everyday.
(and don't brag about.)
It's a 1950s mindset that you need to leave behind.
2ndly your profile seems like the type of guy
that would come home from work,
open the paper or turn on the TV and just sit there.
What exactly would you and a theoretical GF talk about?
what would yall do? for fun?
Women have their own thing with God.
work and provide for their own.
How could you possibly enhance their lives?
Just be another place at the table?
This is where the stretching yourself abit comes in.
find the joy and happiness in your own life,
and then be willing to share it.
Get out and do stuff.(yes bring your kids along)
Take a different way home from work.
Open yourself to new things and ideas.
God wants you to be happy.
and make some woman happy.
but you gotta do the first in order
to achieve the second.
Like I said...not hard.
Enjoy the process.
and when you find that you do...
share.
:-P
Oh yeah...more pictures always help too. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:45:15 PM | | grrr im trying to get more pictures but i dont want to post all old ones of me and I sure as heck want to look nice when i get some pictures of me so im thinking of going to a professional to get it done and get some really good ones of me and btw I suck at making a profile and last time i put everything about me into one i was told I was a lier and looking for one thing when Im the kind of man that sees a woman for her heart and not her body. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/9/2012 4:32:03 PM | | I am happy being single its just I know i was put on this earth for more than to sit back and watch life pass me by on my own with a heart of gold I don't think anyone will understand how i am or feel because I think so different from most guys. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/9/2012 5:23:04 PM | I am to the point where this site is making me feel like I'm more invisable than i was when i first came to it.
Your profile was created in May of this year.
Only two months and POF has turned you into the invisible man?
What happens in another two...you turn into antimatter?
I don't believe in being despite because that kind of man pushes a woman way
Maybe you're not despite (sic erat scriptum), but fragile and dramatic certainly fits the bill, and they have as much push as desperation.
Your post implies that you are faultless. That women are to blame because they don't see your old-school values as attractive any more.
It's not rational to believe that there's not one woman out there who views relationships the way you do.
So try to dig a little deeper than the easy blame game for the reasons why you are not attracting these types of women.
What if it's *you and your actions* that are responsible for your visibility?
Wouldn't that be empowering? Then you could change what you're doing and get better results!!! WOW!!! HOORAY!!!!!
For example, Straycat's excellent post gives you a nicer version of this:
You've put little effort into your profile.
You admit your main pic is old.
Mystery profession...hmmm, since you don't tell me, I'll guess....FOODSTAMPS? SSDI?
Minimal information about your interests and lifestyle.
Boring, humorless text.
What to do next:
Get a profile review, some new pics, a profession, a positive attitude, and put your best foot forward.
Edit:
with a heart of gold I don't think anyone will understand how i am or feel because I think so different from most guys.
From what I can see, there's nothing special about you--however, you certainly seem to think that you are.
It's your job to communicate that uniqueness to your demographic.
People are not here to dig and excavate that information and do the work FOR you. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/9/2012 9:00:00 PM | | funny that you should say that I finally read it and decided to change it, Im not really that good at writeing profiles so :P but i did get more pictures and will have better ones really soon. Second of all right now I'm taking care of my 71 year old grandma and it gives me a chance to spend time with someone that I know someday wont be around, Not sure if that counts as a job. I am gonna be going back to college soon and get a Marriage Counselor Degree, I finally realized that having a big heart may be a good thing to use to help other people. I know its a big thing but i have always believed if you can dream it you can achieve it you just have to believe in yourself. Btw I don't blame woman for anything I just feel like women are putting to much I want i want and not letting destiny give them their dream come true. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/10/2012 6:29:17 AM | | I hate stray cat answers.....just kidding. Guys like you will always have it tough, hang in there, be you. Yes, spruce up the profile, get some new pics, update often. Try to put yourself in situations where you might actually meet someone, women very rarely knock on your door as in never. Might try picking up a sport or activity women are likely to be involved in. Tennis is a good one for that, golf is ok if you can stand the frustration. Lots of women doing Yoga. I hear more and more women are showing up at the gun range these days. Just read your profile, I know a woman in Trinidad, I'll give her a call, see if there are any women around your age looking for a nice guy. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/10/2012 8:43:26 AM | Man i dont know what a good man is either,
i think you get affected too much with online advertisement,
why dont you skip,use it as a helpful shortcut in your search, you dont have to go over yourself to meet
a princess requirements with a long want list , you might find what you are looking for ...
women wont see and know you if you dont do some work , create opportunity in real life as well through your interest
just a thought | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/10/2012 11:23:08 AM |
whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
I'm only going to respond to this.
A good man is a good man because he is good in his heart. It doesn't matter who 'sees' you or not, that shouldn't change your behaviour. You see yourself, and you should be your only judge.
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/10/2012 5:49:28 PM | | Women get bombarded by men on here so even more so than in real life you need to stick out. Almost all messages get read and that in of itself is the woman giving you a chance so the question is more the content of what your sending. Are you trying to be charming or witty in your messages, do you come off insincere, are you copy pasting messages, are you leaving short generics like "hi" or "whats up cutie". These may seem obvious but sadly they arent to all, any man can win any women with the right words. So when you have sent out a ton of messages with no replies its not them its you and maybe its time to re-evaluate your approach. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/11/2012 6:02:36 AM | You shouldn't be a good man for the sole purpose of getting noticed by women. You should be a good man because that's simply what you are and the responsibilities you have created out of the decisions you have made in your life necessitate you being a good man. That's like asking why should I believe in God if He doesn't reveal himself, or why should I do anything if there isn't an immediate and positive consequence? You don't dictate who and what you are to expedite your love life.
G | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/11/2012 7:17:07 PM |
I don't think anyone will understand how i am or feel because I think so different from most guys.
Newsflash: You are not unique. You're just another nice, generic, boring male in a sea of other nice, boring, generic males. What exactly makes you stand out? | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:35:16 AM | Your whining is really off-putting. Perhaps the type of women you think are your type are really not the best type for you.
Do you think that your kindness is something so special that it should reward you with people and attention rather than be a requisite of a living human being? I'm extremely nice, intelligent, and supportive, but that is my responsibility; being an ***hole isn't being responsible, so I don't behave that way, and when I do, I own up to it. | |
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| whats the point of being a good man if your not seen
Posted: 7/13/2012 12:09:20 PM | I looked at your profile. It is much too short. You are competing with men who write as much as Stray Cat. I personally would never respond to you because you had about 4 typing (grammar) mistakes and you don't have any full body (with clothes on!) photos. So I would assume you are fat. And you didn't even capitalize the G in God.
I'm sure it's likely you are a good man but there is a lot of competition out here. You need to list some cheerful hobbies, say some reasons it would make you happier to have someone to share your life with. As someone else said, 2 months is almost no time at all. I've been on here for years and every so often someone wants to meet me. I haven't done so yet. I have met one man on but he just broke my heart.
You need to have a friend (or total stranger) take a LOT of photos of you and then pick the 8 best ones. And clearly you need help proof-reading everything you write.
Stray Cat, I loved what you wrote. | |
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