| | I'm not sure what I'm doing wrongPage 1 of 1 | I'm attractive, well educated, and humorous. But it seems like I'm not attracting the men that I am into. What's up? Am I doing something wrong? Am I not attractive?!?!
It's getting frustrating to see my roommate get SOOOOO many more messages than me. She'll get like 15+ a day. Some days I might only get 1. We are both equally attractive. What the hell? | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:57:59 PM | Well, for starters, this is online dating. People pick and choose who they want to contact [or not] and no one *owes* you a certain amount of attention, regardless of how pretty, smart, fun, etc. you may or may not be.
Secondly, don't ever compare yourself to anyone else (like your roommate) - trust me! Do that and you're dooming yourself to a life of self-pity and feelings of inadequency. There's only one "you" on this planet. Learn it. Live it. Own it.
Now onto your prolife . . .
I think the first 2/3 is great. But then we get down to this part:
***"I have standards. I'm allowed to have them. I'm looking for someone that is ambition and educated. If you have a minimum wage career, or a career that requires no skill such as: line cook, waiter, sales associate etc. I am not interested. By "career" I mean you have no intention of leaving/improving your current situation and are satisfied living paycheck to paycheck. That may be okay for you, but that is not how I want to live my life."***
You just put down a whoooole mess of people and made yourself sound mighty condescending, not to mention defensive. The way you worded this part, you may as well have said "and if you're a feeble peasant, don't bother to look at me, pondscum!" Sure, we all want to meet someone with goals, but to lecture a bunch of people you've never met [people in service jobs] makes you look awfully snooty - NOT an attractive quality.
And then you throw out this doozy:
***"No Fatties..."***
Wow - could you be any ruder? It goes without saying that people want to be contacted by someone they find attractive, and for many people, that would be someone who is not overweight. But again, stating this makes you sound like a jerk by trying to forbid anyone you deem unworthy from contacting you. Here's a thought: if someone you find unattractive contacts you (whether it be because of their weight, race, height, etc.) just delete or ignore the message.
In conclusion, keep it POSITIVE. Respond to who you want to don't worry about the rest. | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 4:37:19 PM | I have standards. I have an education and a career. I have ambition. Still, I would never send you a message because you put down a whole lot of good people. Cooking, cleaning, waiting on tables, working in a store is honest work performed by decent people. They are the sort of people who remind me that God gave me my education. I would rather spend time with someone like them than someone like you. You just revealed something about your character that is ugly to the bone.
Google the word "humility". | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 4:56:20 PM | | Bombshell? That doesn't project self-confidence. It reeks of conceit. That along with your rude comments about people make you a very unattractive person. | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 4:59:06 PM | I agree with the above posters, so there's no need for me to reiterate what I am thinking since it's already been said.
keep 4 idiots from killing themselves.
REALLY? You find this quip necessary? I find it crass.
You come across as unrefined, parvenu and your list of ultimatums; you're looking down your nose at a good caliber of people because they don't suit your bid.
*no fatties*
You could simply state you prefer men to be athletic. It's only a preference.
No need to be so rude. Simply, delete the message or ignore if someone not suited writes. No need to show your ignorance.
A little imperturbability comes to mind. | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 5:20:12 PM | of course I appreciate what you're saying. and I will consider it, but I HAVE tried to say those things in a nicer way and yet I still receive messages from people that just don't see to care.
I've revised this profile like 400 times. I was saying things like "I make homemade meals from scratch with lots of veggies, chicken and fish." or "I live a healthy lifestyle and I am looking for someone that shares in that" but seriously it just seems like people on here don't care what you want out of a person.
I didn't have that last part in until recently. My roommate had a similar thing at the end of hers where she stated what she didn't want and trust me... her list was way worse than mine. If it worked for her I don't see why it wouldn't work for me either. So I gave it a try, but apparently it's okay if she looks snobby, but not me? guys don't seem to care either way. I bet they barely make it past the 2nd paragraph before they decided if they're going to message someone or not. | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 5:26:53 PM |
keep 4 idiots from killing themselves.
REALLY? You find this quip necessary? I find it crass.
I take it you don't play WOW. It was meant to be humorous, but i suppose it's only a humor one would understand in the video gaming world, which is the type of person I am trying to attract, so those type of people would think it was funny. Maybe not you, but I think they would.
also "no fatties" was meant to be funny as well. | |
|
| |
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 5:37:31 PM |
Bombshell? That doesn't project self-confidence. It reeks of conceit.
my username... that's all you got?!?!?! I only chose it because "cherrybomb" was already taken and that's been my online handle for the last 15 years. "bombshell" is just a variation. I like to keep the bomb part.
not very constructive but thanks... i can't exactly go changing my username. | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 5:43:01 PM | Hun, "no fatties" is NEVER funny.
What if someone said "no four-eyeds" or "no pale chicks"? How would YOU feel?
Just because your roommate is snobby doesn't make it right for you to act the same. And her getting messages doesn't validate her behavior - it just means that men are shallow enough to message her IN SPITE of it.
Lastly, even if you previously put your, ahem, "qualifications" a little more subtlely [i.e. healthy looking for the same as opposed to "no fatties"] but got contacted by those you didn't desire doesn't justify being flat out rude. If anything, it could potentially backfire and scare off guys who DO meet your physical and career standards but have no interest in meeting a woman who looks down on others. | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:04:53 PM | No, you're right. I get what you're saying. But honestly, I probably wouldn't care if someone said "no pale girls" I would respect their feelings/preferences... without judgement... but that is the kind of person I am. I am not easily offended.
And you were probably the only person that responded and said it in a way that wasn't personally attacking my character. I'm not mean, I'm not rude and I'm definitely not "parvenu". I've been a waitress. I've been a sale associate, but I've also dated guys that were content doing those things for the rest of their lives and I just don't want to start dating someone that is in one of those positions and then decides that it's good enough for them and never makes anything of themselves. Then I end up looking like an ass because I'm leaving a guy for being a "loser" when society tells me I should stick with him because of "love"... a for better or for worse type of situation. I'm just trying to avoid that whole messy situation.
The point is I did have all of this worded a lot nicer. and you are probably right about the kind of guys she is attracting. | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:42:32 PM | | Some guys may take your jokes and humor as not being a serious person. If I see a girls profile I like and it has a lot of jokes I don't think she would be serious or ever want to hang out or talk. Just my two cents. | |
|
| I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Posted: 7/9/2012 8:00:01 PM | Does she have the same Username?
Does she have the same pics?
Is she wearing the same clothes?
Does she have holes poked in her face?
personally attacking my character. I'm not mean, I'm not rude Really?
Then I end up looking like an ass You said it, not me.
There is a lot wrong with your profile, and it can all be easily fixed.
But, you just attacked and alienated some of the best reviewers on the site. So, good luck.
Every word (even individual characters) have a cumulative subconscious psychological impact on the reader. Username, Headline, pics, pic captions, basic info answers, Interests, About Me, First Date and Mail Settings are all factors. The guys reading your profile were able to make an appropriate decision based on those factors and they didn't even have to read your searchable forum posts. | |
|
Home
login 
