| | Why so scared?Page 1 of 1 | | I am going to make this as simple as possible. Why are men so afraid of commitment? Such a cheesy question but this once stereotype has taken on a whole new meaning to me. Am I looking in the wrong peer group.? Is lack of commitment a lack of maturity? Ok well just food for thought. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 5:56:33 PM | You're 20 yrs old and all you can think of is commitment? Maturity? Yeah, you just finished high school - wait a few years....
I've done the commitment thing (waaaay more than your measly 5 years), got divorced and lost more than half of what I used to have. It's gonna take a long time before I decide on commitment. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:00:59 PM | | Listen I just don't wanna be used as a hookup anymore, I want something more special. Now I've been in a committed relationship before for over four years, so please get over yourself and contribute something positive to the forums please. Thanks | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:08:09 PM |
Am I looking in the wrong peer group.? Is lack of commitment a lack of maturity?
Contribute something positive? You started it with those "negative" questions....I'm just answering.
You said that you've been in a committed relationship, so you know it can happen. You're just ranting and expecting us to say "There. there." | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:10:43 PM | | If you either have patience or are willing to date down, you will find commitment. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:13:24 PM | Why are men so afraid of commitment? Such a cheesy question but this once stereotype has taken on a whole new meaning to me. Am I looking in the wrong peer group.?
Could you read "Why Men Are The Way They Are" and come back next week and tell us the answer to your questions?
IF you are just talking about immaturity in your high-school "friends", then try dating some 29-30yr old guys and see if one of them recognizes enough talent within you to give up his single life for a while, anyway.. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:20:38 PM | Dear OP. You have a delightful profile and your photos are beautiful. I'm sure you receive many messages from guys.
You're looking for friends which is a good thing at this stage in your life, as I'm sure most others your age are too.
Go out and have fun and when the right time comes you can then commit yourself to the one and only person for the rest of your life. xx | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:36:36 PM | Why are men afraid of commitment ? Easy... .
Because a large number of guys in your age range are still very busy trying to figure out how they are going to provide for themselves. Establish themselves in society, figure out the ins and outs of work politics, build a career, put some solid ground under their feet. Also, they don't want to look like an *ss to a girl they really like.
In addition to that, they want to have fun before they decide to settle down.
Making a commitment to a woman at that stage of their lives would add to an already heavy workload of things to accomplish (of which they have only a faint clue how they will get them done.) It would also introduce a person in their life (you) that won't be fooled by their "I know what I'm doing" image.
That explains why, in your age range, you are most times seen as a booty call - guys want to have fun. It explains why they won't commit - busy figuring things out and, not wanting to look like an idiot in front of someone they care about.
There is more than that but, those are the basic reasons. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:18:42 PM | As I said in your "other" topic that you posted, you're too young to be worried about this kinda questions. Get out and live,and you'll discover alllllllllll the answers you'll ever need to these life altering/changing questions. And then, just when you think you have it all figured out, you''ll meet a person that will blow your answers right out the water.
You ain't getting the boys to commit to anything right now, other than getting drunk on Friday, and trying to get a piece of pu s s y cat.
Edit to add:
Now I've been in a committed relationship before for over four years
That ain't committment dear. That's four years outta your life,that's it. If he and you were "truely" committed, you wouldn't be here,would you????? | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:20:04 PM | Peer group means that you're dating in your age group- say, within a few years older than yourself at 20 IMO.
When I was your age I remember thinking that there weren't very many men in my peer group who seemed very mature and who wanted to date exclusively but they are out there. As stated, be patient and get out with your friends and meet people through them- and meet people these new friends know, etc.
I think that a lack of the ability to commit to a relationship denotes some immaturity, but it doesn't mean that a guy who wants to date casually is immature. Many men you date just may not want to commit to anything at the time or they may not want to commit to you. Dating should be fun and enjoyable and not be a frustration. If you don't enjoy
someones company or you are told that they have commitment issues through either verbally sharing that or observing it over time, simply date the next guy whom you choose to date. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:30:32 PM | | Men aren't afraid of commitments. They are just waiting for the perfect one is all. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:35:49 PM | Men are not "afraid" of commitment. There's certainly no phobia here.
Some men do just not want to be tied to one woman. It's simple, really.
"Lack of commitment", as you call it, may be in indication of immaturity but it also could be a trait of a very wise man. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:36:20 PM | | Some shy away from it because they have been there and doubt the women is actually looking for commitment, despite what she says. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:52:25 PM | Give it time sweetie. They are still boys at 20. Commitment is a scary word at twenty. When I was 20 my commitments only lasted until breakfast the next morning (wink) And then life started all over again. Your just a baby now. Live life and have fun. Trust me you are going to have many years of "commitment" to enjoy ahead. No need to rush it.
Cowboy | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:58:54 PM | | Early 20's are still just the dawn of manhood.. Don't expect commitment from the vast majority of them that age. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 8:02:48 PM | Nobody is afraid of commitment. That's a made of term to comfort people from the fact the man/woman chose not to be with you. Nobody in your(our) age range is looking for a serious/committed relationship. You might think you know exactly who and what you want, but so does the next 15-year old girl who just fell in love with her first boyfriend. You all think you have it figured out, but the truth is what you want right now and what you need are not going to coincide...not for a while probably.
Just work on yourself and be open if something happens to come along, but don't have high expectations or rush into anything. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 8:12:50 PM | We are selfish, take more than give.
We commit only after we are sure that what we get is what we need.
Correction, some men...
They do not commit to you? Well... perhaps it's not them, it's you. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 8:38:00 PM | | If you're looking for a commitment, maybe you should change your filters to 24-30ish age group of men that can message you. Best of luck. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 9:07:29 PM | | Most 20 year old men aren't ready for a commitment, they are out having fun or going to college. Go to college(if you aren't already) and work on your career, you are pretty and seem reasonably intelligent so I'm sure you will find a good man. Your whole life is ahead of you so don't rush into a relationship just because you are lonely. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 9:24:19 PM | I know you asked the guys, but I've learned a few things in my life.
As simple and outdated as this may sound, men your age are in their prime.
Think of a strong, dangerous, potent lion.
It hunts, it captures, it feasts, and it mates.
Rinse and repeat for a few years. They're in their prime....let 'em have it!
Trust me, when you're my age and hitting your peak, you'll understand why they are the wonderful way they are. | |
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| Why so scared?
Posted: 7/9/2012 9:59:31 PM | | Women are just as scared as men are. | |
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