| | Pictures of your ExPage 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | | Im just throwing this out there, but my old boyfriend had kept pictures of his Exwife. I felt odd having them in our apartment when we lived together. They weren't wedding pictures- thank goodness. But do you, yourselves keep old pictures of your ex wives or ex husbands? Or do you throw the pictures away and move on with your life? | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 12:58:20 AM | Are said pictures "on display" around his apartment?
I mean, I have some pictures of the ex's around... either sitting in a box on the shelf in my closet (that I haven't opened in years, pre-digital), or a couple in a folder full of pictures out on my disk (post-digital), that again is probably a handful out of say 1000 photos - along with pictures of friends, old coworkers, etc - again, that I probably haven't looked at in years for most of them. If someone found those a "threat" for some reason, I'd kinda wonder how insecure they were.
Having them hanging around the house framed and on display, well, that could be a different story - would sound like some 'attachment' to them still. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 1:02:20 AM | I have no pictures of the x-men. Some took longer to get rid of than others but there are none remaining.
Oddly, I did hang on to some rings for way too long. I probably had them for so long because I don't wear much jewelry so rarely came across them.
Finally, one day (while getting ready to move), I took them all to a pawn shop (didn't want to "shop around" for the best deal from a jeweler nor sell them online......I just wanted rid of them).
In one big swoop......I sold an ex-husband and two ex-boyfriends! :) | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 1:18:01 AM |
Finally, one day (while getting ready to move)
Heh, haven't moved in 20 years, so yeah - you 'collect' stuff that might 'go' when you're looking to lighten the load when you move. Honestly, the "pre-digital" pics I have in a box, I haven't opened that box in probably 10+ years - if I recall I have pictures taken with an old 110 flash camera from a school field trip to DC when I was like 12 (?), plus some from a family vacation to Mexico when I was 14.... nothing more than a little 'nostalgia' and a few laughs I'm sure if I dug them out. Out of sight, out of mind. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 3:14:11 AM | I have some pictures in a shoebox.
I don't see an issue with a partner who has kept pictures of an ex. I would just be annoyed, if they had framed pictures all over the place. But if the relationship ended well, I don't see the point of ripping the pictures up. They're good memories, and as such I wouldn't want to forget them, but on the other side, wouldn't constantly re-visit them either (by going through the box--it's just there).
Pictures or even gifts, are irrelevant and shouldn't remotely affect your relationship, as long as you show tact in keeping them away from your current partner. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 4:08:52 AM | I am by my nature, an Historian (among other things), so I keep all sorts of things, including pictures of my ex wife. I have no ex husbands.
I think that you are showing a little unthinking prejudice by framing the question to include the only alternative as "Or do you throw the pictures away and move on with your life?" I would gently suggest you give some more consideration to the concerns and sense of place in existence of whomever you deal with who also wants to keep illustrations of THEIR LIFE, even after the chapter about it is closed. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 4:10:41 AM | I would never keep them on display, but i would also not throw them out for the most part, they were once a chapter in my life, a memory, and photos are just that memories. Having said that i have deleted the few i had of one person but for different reasons. If they kept revisiting the photos I'd be wary but as far as having them no.
I have never thrown out a single photo of my ex (my children's father) despite the fact these days i feel much differently lol, they have been kept for the children. A guy once took issue with the fact my eldest had one of us together on display in his bedroom. The photo was my son's and not mine and not on display in the main part of the house. (funnily enough this was the same guy i deleted all photos of lol) | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 4:18:50 AM | | I do not have pictures of my exes on display around my place and neither on my phone or laptop, but I do not throw them out. They are kept in boxes with all the other pictures. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 4:34:22 AM | I have a few pics of my daughter's father in a shoe box. Neither of us really want the git hanging around, but my granddaughter might be curious one day, never having met him.
I think I have a pic of an ex's booted foot next to my first dog. You can see where my priorities lie. :)
Someone having relatively recent photos of just their ex on display would seem a little odd to me, like they weren't terribly focussed on their current relationship.
Family photos from a long, long time ago, like 70 year old widows/widowers keeping a family photo from 40 years ago I find rather sweet and possibly arty, or stylish, in a retro kind of a way.
Apparantly, Herman Goering had portraits of his late wife, Carin, all over the walls of his home Carin Hall when married to Emma. She rationalised that if a man could love one woman that much, he could love another. I don't think any of that worked out too well, mind. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 4:53:09 AM | I have a few pictures of my ex in which he is with the children. They are in photos albums along with other photos of my children as they have grown. If at some stage in the future, the children want them, then at least they are there.
I wouldn't expect anyone to throw things from their past away for my own comfort level but there needs to be a balance. Keeping photos on display would be dependent on circumstances, I think, and quantities. If for example, their partner died especially if there are children, I don't have an issue with a couple of photos being on display but a shrine to someone's memory, would be excessive.
Generally speaking, photos of an ex where the relationship simply came to an end for whatever reason, and where no children are involved, I don't see the need for photos to be displayed but likewise, I don't see the need to expect someone to dispose of them either. Tucked away with other memories for the past, is perfectly reasonable. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 4:54:12 AM | | I have pic's on file mainly just memories plus shed is the mother of my son. I have pic's of her on my sons wall, to show my son it's okay to have a pic of your mom on the wall. I want to show him just cause his mom & I don't get a long it;s ok for him to be in " contact" with both of us. | |
|
A_Gent
| | Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 12 | |
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 5:21:11 AM | | I'd be uncomfortable if the exes photos were on display. Yet they are a part of her life and she is entitled to keep them... neatly zipped up and stored in the corner/closet with the rest of the baggage. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 5:35:35 AM | Throwing them away....no. I wouldn't expect him to throw them away either. They are memories of times gone by.
Having said that, they shouldn't be displayed. They should be kept in a memory box or album to be looked at later in life, remembering the life that you led and the people who crossed your path. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 5:38:34 AM | I have an album with myself and my ex husband in pics together. Im keeping them for my son for when he has his own place. They are put away, not on display and I cannot even the recall the last time I went through them, but I do know it was with my son and he expressed the desire to keep them. So I will until he has his own place, then he can have them.
I dont keep pics of exes I 'just dated'. I dont see the point. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 6:06:40 AM | Sure I have pictures. Plenty of them. Ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, just friends, all of it. They were a part of events, trips, every day life, child rearing and important memories for me.
I see no need to toss out photos of times gone by to ease a new man's fragile ego.
I would not be attracted to someone like that anyway.
I have no problem in moving on with my life while maintaining a history with photos and I don't care in the least that my BF has a photo album of his former wife. She is kind of the unimportant part now... his daughter, other family members and events that he is able to tell a story with is valuable. Why take that from him? | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 6:33:21 AM | When my ex husband moved out of the house not much changed other than the fact that his clothes were no longer in the closet. I didn't feel the need to purge the house of everything that that reminded me of him and as the father of two of my children I would always have contact with him.
I started dating a man and on his first visit to my home he made a comment about a family picture on the mantle that had my ex husband in it. There were other pictures on display there and that one was the only one that had my ex in it. I didn't see what the big deal was (and still don't) but this guy seemed to have such a problem with it that every time he came over after that he would lay the picture face down!
You don't say whether this ex boyfriend of yours had a wall of framed pictures on display of his ex or if it was just a few shots containing group photos from some event hanging on the side of the refrigerator. You didn't mention if he had a child with the ex that comes over every other weekend (might be comforting to see a picture of their mother). All of these things make a difference.
Personally, I never even took notice of the family picture with my ex in it. When it was brought to my attention I felt it best to leave it there because I didn't want it to seem like I was trying to erase my children's father from their lives. I took it down after a few years when I updated all of the photos on the mantle. By pointing it out and acting childlessly about it all that boyfriend did was make me see how insecure and self centered he was. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 7:00:56 AM | | I gave the old pictures to the kids. Others with the kids & for display purposes in my home, I had altered to exclude the ex. Cost is relatively cheap nowadays & the last thing a guy should want is to piss off his significant other. | |
|
| |
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 7:09:24 AM | | Yes I have kept photo's of ex's, but I don't have them displayed. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 7:10:00 AM | | A picture is just a picture... a remembrance of past events..If someone is bothered by a picture then they have serious emotional issues. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:33:08 AM | KAKI...I agree....since I have taken 1000s and 1000s of pictures and value them for memories...or the artistic value...
I'm sure you might even think I'm nuts...but not only wouldn't I mind if they have them...but I use to store the photos for my most recent ex husband (had two) and I still have over 1000 pictures of his family on my computers...his exs and all. I don't get jealous and see them as part of the universe and if they weren't there...we all would be missing a piece of us, whether that's good or bad.
Several of my ex family members have me as a friend on facebook, so I can even see current pictures if I wanted to see what they are currently up to as well. No one around me seems to mind...and I wouldn't mind seeing their past either. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:58:15 AM | | I stopped "keeping" photos when digital camera came on the market. It's rare for me to print a photo anymore, and if they're on my computer, I eventually delete them. The only Kodak-style photos I have are from the 90's or earlier, and those don't include former loves. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 9:12:45 AM | I got rid of all the stuff from the first husband. He died a year later. I should have just packed them away. I regret doing that.
I did not get rid of stuff from the 2nd husband because we have children together. I did however sell most the jewelry and used the money to go to my oldest son's wedding. Sadly the jewelry was just covering up his lies. | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 9:42:34 AM | I have some pictures of my x somewhere
I am not going to throw them out
but they are no in any ones face..... | |
|
| Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 10:37:33 AM | When I got married my sister made us a beautiful, detailed photo album which took months to make. We also had a video of the wedding and reception. My first inclination was to chuck it all, but I realized that was a very happy time and I know my kids will want to see it when they get older. My throwing everything away would send an angry, bitter message to my kids....
There is one amazing picture of my father, my brother-in-law and my ex in Bermuda (in their Tommy Bahama shirts, lol) hanging in my sister's house and our beach house. My family asked if I minded and I said "no". That was the trip I found out I was pregnant, another really happy time.
Be respectful of significant other's feelings, but don't dismiss memories of your past either, if you don't want to. | |
|
Home
login 
