|Review me!Page 1 of 2 (1, 2)|
|I have been on about month lots reviews not a lot of anything else! Any advice? I am looking for new friends and open for anything that feels right! Not to mention I am shy but working on it..please any advice will help! I didnt want to leave anything out..also I had few bad experiences I want to weed out the bad apples before they happen again!|
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:21:18 PM
|maybe pics are not that great?|
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:26:50 PM
|Your profile's okay. |
Your header is confusing. A touch of desparation there maybe?
I'm not sure the spark plug analogy works well. A lot of guys will know what a spark plug is and what it does and won't exactly relate to this analogy. Try firebrand or something instead.
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:34:46 PM
|Ok thanks! I changed heading..I was getting frustrated one night when I changed it..I have pile of people to "chat" with but no one ever want to meet or anything lol! Now for the "firebrand" thing I am not sure what you mean by that! LOL|
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:43:58 PM
|Yeah much better header! You're the one doing the choosing, remember!|
Firebrand kind of means that you're incendiary. You can find the meaning of both words on Google ;)
Posted: 7/13/2012 2:19:20 PM
|you have nice pictures so nothing wrong there I proceeded to read but stopped here|
I have standards I wont vary from..no job, unacceptable..no vehicle, wont happen...and MOST important a true gentleman only..knows how to take a girl out on a date!
you are saying here that you have standards and wont date a guy with no car? yet your profile says you dont have a car yourself.
Also I think you should remove the "if you meet my standards" part they shouldve gotten the clue the first time you mentioned them, it makes you sound like a diva or like you are the boss and they must abide by your rules that would turn a gentleman off...dont tell a man to work hard for you make him want to :)
Posted: 7/13/2012 3:06:08 PM
|I need to change that..I do have car, I prefer not to use it..lol...I value yur opinion..but I have had TONS of losers..no jobs..no cars..no ambitions...like I dunno where yu live BUT here I have to deal with lots "stay at home dads" like for real?? As for getting a clue..I have actually found they dnt..not all of them. I know it makes me sound diva ish..but honestly i wont lower my standards I would rather be alone. So this should weed out the undesirables!|
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:41:22 PM
|Your new Heading is as demanding as the rest of your profile. |
You say "Nothing Serious", then DEMAND he ONLY have eyes for you.
You say Single, but then are wearing a wedding ring in your pics.
You look older than your stated age, then are only looking for young guys.
On top of all that someone poked holes in your face.
Ain't happening. they are running for the hills!
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:36:24 PM
|WHAT??? I am not wearing a wedding ring never been married in my life thanks...have you looked at yurself ?? Like really..and yes thats my given age....|
Posted: 7/13/2012 7:14:39 PM
|First impressions: IS THAT A CHIN STUD? Thank you for playing we have some wonderful consolation prizes.|
I'm sure that you're proud of your body jewelry, but not in your main pic. To me, that's right up there with a mom holding up a baby in her main pic (I'm sure that moms are proud of their kids, but kids are not bowling trophies and nobody cares about anyone's trophies).
Add some interesting/humorous captions to your photos.
"Wants to date but nothing serious." says "I wanna get laid". Change it to "Looking for a relationship". You see, if you put "looking for a relationship" and meet a guy you just want to take home for the night, it's easy to move from "relationship" to a one-night stand. But it is really difficult to move in the other direction from "nothing serious" to "relationship" if you find someone you really like, get it?
Also, it's a little early for "I only have eyes for you". Don't put the cart before the horse. How about a date, first? Besides, it contradicts "wants to date but nothing serious". Given that goal, do you really expect an exclusive relationship?
Pets: Other. Raising insects? Put your actual pet here, it might even generate interest.
Occupation: Hard Worker. What are you hiding? Will anyone care if you're a janitor? A call girl? Unless your job is really weird (evangelical snake handler), illegal, or such that you can contaminate someone or make them sick, just put your job here.
Do you have a car? N/A. Do you or don't you? No one cares either way. I have never even checked that section of anyone's profile.
Add more interests, up to about 9 or 10.
"A little about myself:" Cut that. The section is already called "About Me". Unless you add another section called "About You" like I did in my profile.
"When people are sometimes asked to describe me, the term "spark plug" is often used". Waaay overused on POF.
Make definite statements instead of timid ones. None of that "I consider myself" crap. Say "I am". No "People tell me". Say "I AM".
"little meat on the bones" means skinny. Better to say "I like a little MORE meat on the bones".
You REALLY need to work on your spelling, punctuation, syntax and grammar. Use a word processor (like MS Word) to create your profile, use the spell-checker and when it is all correct and pretty, cut-and-paste it into your profile.
Instead of "no car, no job, no date, how about "I will only date a guy who has a stable career and his own vehicle and I DON'T mean a scooter!". NEVER be negative or talk about what you DON'T want. Think positive. Talk about what you DO want. Instead of "dinner" say "a meal". Lunch is usually a more easy and casual meal anyway (and is usually perceived as less expensive). If he suggests dinner, Great!
By the way, lots of guys, especially in big cities, don't have cars. Some very successful people in New York city never learn how to drive.
Fingers getting tired. Must rest. Good luck.
Posted: 7/13/2012 7:32:55 PM
|The pic with the well dressed blond isn't helping matters. Either she's over dressed or you're under dressed for the occasion.|
Posted: 7/13/2012 7:58:55 PM
|Mister right is right! never use a pic that might distract people from YOU! Next thing you know, men will be writing, asking you about your blonde friend!|
Posted: 7/13/2012 11:01:02 PM
|If you've never been married then WHAT exactly is that on your hand in your second picture. I almost have my driver's license so if anyone else here is running for the hills I can pick you up and give you a ride.|
Posted: 7/14/2012 5:39:10 AM
Any advice? ... please any advice will help! Remember, you asked for it. What you have isn't working, that's why you are here.
Your profile's okay. Obviously bad advice because it ISN'T working.
Beginning at Msg #6 you have received good advice.
Intent: you can find that at a bar, this is a dating site where 70% are looking for relationships.
Pics: Poor quality self pics, a shinny metal band on your left ring finger, multiple face piercings, a hat, hair up, dark-drab-cluttered backgrounds.
Car: Evasive. (Double standard.)
Kids=Yes, without disclosure of how many, howl old, how often. = Evasive.
Interests: Minimal effort, uninteresting.
About Me: DEMANDING!!! Negativity just chases away the good guys, you still get the bad ones. Don't you?
Full of yourself. Proclaiming beauty and intelligence is never good, even worse when...(enough said).
Age settings, shallow and unrealistic. Delete them, screen in your empty Inbox.
have you looked at yurself ?? Like really Yes, I have. So have the 2 (quality) women a week that I get new first dates with, and the women who contact me daily. They see a 139# smoker, drinker, with acne scars, a burn scar, stained teeth, on disability, and some great/positive profile text and want to date me. 75% want to see me again. Go figure.
But, then again, I don't come off like a total B****.
(I didn't make that up. Three different users who follow my reviews have messaged me saying "She is a total B****".) That is the impression your profile and posts give off.
Posted: 7/14/2012 7:00:35 AM
|Picture 1 is a great pic...and then it seems to be downhill from there.|
Posted: 7/14/2012 7:02:10 AM
|Telling her to change the header from "does anyone WANT to go out?" was good advice. Advising her not to use the spark plug reference was good advice (someone else also suggested getting rid of it). You might not like "gentleman only" but I think it is far better to be too demanding than to sound desparate, hence the improvement. |
From my point of view, my suggestions were only quite minor because I didn't find the profile nearly as objectionable as a lot of other people seemed to. Saying the profile was "okay" is not saying that it can't or shouldn't be improved, and I wouldn't expect her to take me saying that as an excuse to ignore whatever other advice she's receiving.
All you're really criticising here is my failure to be critical enough, and I'm not going to apologise for that. With the amount of stick this lady's getting from yourself and others, perhaps a mildly nice comment or two from someone is in order. Everyone has a threshold for how much they can handle being criticised, and I'd expect your input to this thread to exceed the threshold of the average person, especially when you're making comments like this:
"Proclaiming beauty and intelligence is never good, even worse when...(enough said)."
Okay, so she made the comment about "have you looked at yourself" but that was only after you made a pretty harsh comment about all the men running for hills. If you're the one who's being successful on here as you say (and it seems pretty plausible based on your profile), try being the bigger man and maybe even being nice every once in a while...
Posted: 7/14/2012 7:41:44 AM
|We frequently see this style of profile and responses like:|
I know it makes me sound diva ish..but honestly i wont lower my standards I would rather be alone.My experience with those is that you have to be direct and harsh to get their attention.
I have done several reviews of similar women's profiles that have "gotten the message", then later post or e-mail me telling me how much they appreciate the wake-up call. They also tell me how much their results have improved since taking my advice.
Most of my reviews are "nice" (while direct) and based on many years of internet dating experience, extensive knowledge of psychology, and lots of research.
A wise woman named Deb once said:
... you need to be brave to post in forums, even braver to ask for advice, and braver still to ask for a Profile Review. You have to be ready for all types of responses.
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:00:55 AM
|I hear what you're saying man, but you did insult her looks and her intelligence. I doubt she'll be thanking you for that. I agree it's brave to ask for a profile review, which is why I think there's a limit to how much you should slate someone. I also believe in the short sharp shock sometimes, but not sure if you overdid it here. |
There are things you've written that I'm trying to get my head around, like the thing about ONLY having pictures of yourself on your profile. If I look at a girl's profile and see noone else in the photos it conveys to me that she is the only person in her world. If she is around others it conveys that her life is full. I'd assume this is similar for women, especially since women particularly value interconnectedness with others. Could you point to a thread where this has been discussed more fully perhaps?
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:14:59 AM
There are things you've written that I'm trying to get my head around, like the thing about ONLY having pictures of yourself on your profile. If I look at a girl's profile and see noone else in the photos it conveys to me that she is the only person in her world. If she is around others it conveys that her life is full. I'd assume this is similar for women, especially since women particularly value interconnectedness with others.
Hopefully you were joking right. They should outlaw group photos on here entirely. Your pics on a dating site should be just you. We are not dating the other people and they probably have no idea their pics are plastered on some dating site without their permission.
You assume WAY WAY to much from pics for sure if you are assuming someone has "FULL LIFE" because they posted a pic here with someone else in it. I would assume they just dont have many current pics and had to use a group photo.
Thats never a wise decision. No group photo's. No photo's with kids. Dogs and cats are fine as long as YOU ARE IN THEM.
Posted: 7/14/2012 9:01:58 AM
|I wasn't joking, and all I will say is that a hell of a lot of people on here do use group photos and often the ones who don't fail to convey anything except "I'm just hanging around at home in front of my bathroom mirror". Of course I'd rather see a photo of someone hanging out with a group than a photo taken especially for the purpose of this site, cos it conveys something of what the person is doing in their life. It's not like group photos are a freak occurrence on here, about half the profiles have them, so no, it shoudn't shock you that I'm not joking. |
Of course I'm not really assuming that someone actually has a full life just because they have a few group photos. I said it CONVEYS that, and for the purposes of first impressions, that's what counts.
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:07:25 AM
|The ring on my finger is my FAMILY ring! Why does that finger have to be empty??? I have a family and I love them..|
Thanks for all the responses. I will rework my profile a bit.
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:31:58 AM
|Ok fixed it up a bit! ...how is this now..PS I cant put my pet he is a horse and it wont let yu..hence the other.|
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:56:34 AM
Of course I'd rather see a photo of someone hanging out with a group than a photo taken especially for the purpose of this site, cos it conveys something of what the person is doing in their life. You cant possibly really believe people take group photos for this site. I mean come on buddy.
They use group photos because ITS ALL THEY HAVE. You really think they went out drinking at a bar and suddenly someone shouted HEY LETS TAKE A PHOTO FOR MY DATING SITE!
Or at a birthday party he said "Hey everyone crowd around so I can take a photo to add to my dating profile!"
Come on... Lots of people simply dont have recent pics but they should take NEW ONE just for this iste. Not use group photos of other people that have no idea their mug is now plastered out on the internet.
It's not like group photos are a freak occurrence on here, about half the profiles have them Lots have them the point is THEY SHOULD NOT.
The worst are the ones where a 5'5" inch blonde has only four group photos and all in the photo are blondes.
I dont need to see drunken friends or mom and dad or grandma or pics with the cute gals at work from last xmas party.
I am not trying to date them. Pics here should be of JUST YOU. A variety of pics both inside and outside. Closeup and full length. But ONLY YOU should be in them. It is unbelievably RUDE to use group photos in anyway unless every person in them gives their permission. Photos can show the person has a life and enjoys activities without using anyone else in their photo's. This is common sense. Which may not be your strong suite here obviously.
Posted: 7/14/2012 2:03:12 PM
|The main pic is good.|
Pic #2 shows a wedding ring. Also the room is a mess. It looks like the bed isn't even made. Pic #2 is a problem.
Interests are okay. It might be better if you changed 'My horse' to 'horses'.
You could get picky on grammar if you wanted to. (little bit = bit, waiver = waver, initial = first)
There is at least one run-on sentence and other structural anomalies.
Your participation in the forums is good.