| | Kissing EtiquettePage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | I have been out of the dating game for a while. I am surprised haven't seen any threads dealing with this topic on the search function, I don't think it is an unusual problem though.
The long story cut short is that there is a girl at work who I think reciprocates my feelings - based on eye contact, but I cannot easily engineer a meeting, bump into her after work on a friday night, and dont run into her often enough etc etc. Anyhoo, there is a work social event next weekend where I hope we can start something.
My dilemma is what happens with kissing? Assuming, I am witty, on form and she likes randomname13. When I was student it was fine to be very public and be all over each other like teenagers. This still is fine in some of the dubious nightclubs I have been to recently. Obviously, this behaviour is completely inappropriate for a work event and I don't plan on taking someone that I am trying to impress to a cattle market and exchanging saliva there. So what happens these days, do you give a girl you like a brief kiss at the door on the first date? Do you find a discreet place and kiss there? Or what? Seriously, I don't know the etiquette anymore and don't want to talk to my mates about it.
If it helps (though I think this is probably a universal age issue) I am definitively middle class, working in a very middle class central London environment. In fact the reason I don't have a photo on here is because I know someone who reports to me uses this website. I can go into more detail, but I think I have established the situation and I certainly don't believe that I am the only person with this workplace dilemma.
I may have reposted this from 5 seconds ago but I hope not. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:37:44 AM | For myself, I would restrict kiss attempts to places not populated by strangers.
That is my sensibility, having also been through the "anyplace is fine" randiness of my own teenage years as well. This is both because I have concerns about treading on other's sensibilities (the aforementioned strangers ), and because I myself consider kissing to be a personal, semi-sexual activity.
Past that, it depends upon the other person's sensibilities.
Basically, I think Abelian advises very well in this area. Just realize that as with most things of this nature, that there are no well established rules which one can ask about and reliably follow; there is instead only a general pattern of human behavior, which can shift subtly like the sands on the beach at mid tide, and thus appear solid at one moment, and all but non-existent at another. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:47:04 AM | Make sure breath is fresh.
Don't have to much saliva.
Don't force the tongue unless its invited by a parting of the lips/mouth.
No PDA until you know HER feelings on it.
Start gentle..................then
Go from there.
Oh and don't ask "May I kiss you?"
Just lean in..you'll know if she turns her head.
Other than that NO RULES really other than consideration as listed above..
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/15/2012 6:10:24 AM | Thanks guys. This is all useful stuff.
To be honest, I don't think I have any problem about knowing when to kiss, it is just what type of kiss eg a peck or something more passionate.
After reading the responses and thinking about it I think I know how to approach it and has been mentioned its a personal and private thing so whatever happens I don't intend to share that moment with my colleagues.
Thanks for your advice. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:09:41 AM | | When she tosses me her panties,and gives me the come hither look, I know I gots the green light. Well, at least the yellow one,which is basically a sign to put the pedal to the metal. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/15/2012 8:28:39 AM |
So what happens these days, do you give a girl you like a brief kiss at the door on the first date? Do you find a discreet place and kiss there? Or what? Seriously, I don't know the etiquette anymore and don't want to talk to my mates about it.
At the beginning of a first date? Depending on how flirty you two have been on the phone/texting/etc. maybe a kiss on the cheek to start out. Pay attention to her body language during the date, and perhaps at the end - in a discreet spot - give her a proper kiss. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:59:04 AM | | Kiss the woman, what can you get, a slap? | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:07:14 PM | I think you are generally getting good responses about kissing, but hey, do not date someone you work with! It's a recipe for disaster when (if) things don't work out. And if there is ANY power dynamic to your relationship (one of you has any supervisory capacity over the other), it opens up the possibility of sexual harrassment and/or discrimination charges.
Really, not a great idea to kiss someone you work with. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:20:01 AM | First the rules....
Make sure breath is fresh.
Don't have to much saliva.
Don't force the tongue unless its invited by a parting of the lips/mouth.
No PDA until you know HER feelings on it.
Then the maneuver.....
lean in to kiss a woman and then let her response tell me what to do.
The instructors have spoken.
Class dismissed! | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:58:25 PM | | Agreeing whole heartedly with Peppermint Petunias Don't ask, just do it. When Guys ask me that , I automatically get turned off. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:16:16 PM | This takes some practice so expect to fail at first.
I agree with the above rules, frest breath, etc etc
I look for gestures throughout the date. Is she partipating in the conversation, hopefully laughing at my jokes, I might do some light touching on the arm or shoulder to see her response, etc etc. Usually as we are walking to our car/s I will accidentally have my hand bump into hers, this is a light bump to see if she jerks away or if her hand stays in place. By the time we reach the cars we could be holding hands. At this point I might direct the conversation to something about her hair, lips, smile or just something I noticed about her during our date. I will look for eye contact to see if she matches mine, if she is I will gently give her a tug towards me (meaning I'm holding her hand ). If she comes closer its a good a good sign if not, then its not. Then as we are conversing about whatever it was that I was focusing on throught the date I move slowly towards her lips. If she mimics what I'm doing or is not pulling away its a good clue. Then my first kiss is gentle and we go from there. The time line of all of this varies, each woman is beautiful in her own way.
Many clues are given throughout the date and its up to you to figure out what her nonverbal gestures are saying . Like I said it takes practice and you really need to adapt your own style. Sometimes its a clear NO from the start, other times it leads to something very nice and other times depending on how she kisses I might have to get up early in the morning lol | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/19/2012 2:56:42 PM |
Agreeing whole heartedly with Peppermint Petunias Don't ask, just do it. When Guys ask me that , I automatically get turned off.
I echo these sentiments too! | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/19/2012 11:42:58 PM |
The long story cut short is that there is a girl at work who I think reciprocates my feelings - based on eye contact, but I cannot easily engineer a meeting, bump into her after work on a friday night, and dont run into her often enough etc etc. Anyhoo, there is a work social event next weekend where I hope we can start something.
My dilemma is what happens with kissing? ...do you give a girl you like a brief kiss at the door on the first date?
No offense, but you don’t even know if this woman is even interested in you. Eye contact, really? What feelings do you think she is reciprocating through eye contact, exactly?
Maybe you should focus on getting to know her first, before you start stressing about making out with her. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/20/2012 12:01:35 AM | | kissing is a fantastic form of nonuerbal communication...if the conversation is leaning that way...at the end of the night..lean in and go for it...just be a gentleman about it, and dont perve on her too much especially in public:) | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/20/2012 4:11:56 PM | i lean in but i also say very confidently "i'm going to kiss you" as i look her in the eyes.
Gross... it's such a mood-killer when men feel as if they have to"warn" a woman they're going to kiss her.
A truly self-assured man would be more natural about it and just lean in and do it. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/20/2012 7:03:47 PM |
after a fun and successful date with Halcyon Skies i'd lean in and say,"i'm going to kiss you Halcyon!"
Halcyon's response, "i've been waiting for a big wet one since i first laid eyes on you Tom!!"
she follows me around on all the forums so i may as well grant her wish and take her out on a date and make out with her!
Only in your dreams, Tom. By the way, I follow the postings of quite a few men in the forums that have, to put it delicately, "controversial opinions", so don't get too c0cky about it. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/20/2012 7:15:19 PM | | I agree with the other ladies.Being told he's going to kiss you or being asked, instant mood killer. Read the signals and being. The response will tell you how far to take it. | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 8:01:59 PM | I always stay away from announcing or asking for a kiss! When we get to that point its already an agreed understanding.
I must say Halcyon is an attractive woman, so Tom would be a lucky man. Nice lips, eyes, and love the straight hair but just my opinion. | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 8:49:21 PM | Eh, I like for a man to tell me what he’s gonna do to me, preferably whispered in my ear.  | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 8:55:39 PM | | fleuron, i enjoy it when you give me tips on how to better seduce you. | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 9:02:51 PM | "Eh, I like for a man to tell me what he’s gonna do to me, preferably whispered in my ear. "
I do like to spend some quality time kissing then comes the soft whispers! I do like the way you think fleuron :) | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 10:14:49 AM | Eh, I like for a man to tell me what he’s gonna do to me, preferably whispered in my ear. reading Fleuron's posts, she seems like she has a profound cleverness and charm that just draws you in towards her that mere good looks or an outward appearance just can't match. as you experienced in the above post, she has this sexy animal magnetism that makes you think naughty thoughts! lol BIG PLUS: Fleuron is as funny as hell. her posts contain hilarious witticisms that make you wonder if she has a team of comedy writers behind her. she'll keep you smiling all day. while Halcyon is the arm candy, Fleuron is the WOMAN.
I agree she would be the perfect fit for you, Tom---you could reach her ear quite easily. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/26/2012 5:48:05 AM | | Drag her by her hair back to your man cave and plant a big wet one on her. You don't have the time to mess around dude, get the job done, if she responds great, if not kick her to the curb, fling a few bucks at her, tell her to call a cab. NEXT! | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/26/2012 7:59:18 AM | | The first thing you do is you burp. Then excuse yourself to her and tell her that you just needed to get it out. Dissipate any possible bad breath you may have, then lean forward and kiss her. | |
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| Kissing Etiquette
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:56:51 PM | I dont mind being asked. I suppose its how you do the asking.
One man said "Can you repeat what you just said, I didn't hear you because I was too distracted trying to figure out how to kiss you." So I just stopped talking so much and kissed him. | |
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