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| | Emphasis on music, dancing, moviesPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Are music, dancing and movies REALLY among the most important items in many women's lives? It frequently appears so from emphasis given "what kind of music and movies I like" in profiles – often occupying a considerable percentage of all that is said in "About Me."
What if a man liked different music or was not particularly interested in dancing? Would that be a "deal-breaker" for them? | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:14:11 PM | | This woman I used to go with was into metal and that entire scene. I HATED IT, but I tolerated it because it was one of the few three things that irked me about her. I don't think something like music, dancing, or movies is a big deal, they're trivial things a lot of people tolerate since those are just personal interest preferences. Not a big deal. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:15:31 PM | profiles like that are good for weeding the wolves from the sheep tho.
people who will answer stupid general vague questions about themselves thinking they are going to be taken seriously
and people who think up more genuine real content so as to present who they really are. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:16:24 PM | Some women are that obsessed with your interests matching up with theirs. It's fine to have interest in movies, music, or dancing but to have it as a requirement for anyone they meet seems excessive. I just lump them in with the rest of the crazies. I don't particularly want to be with somebody that requires that I have the same taste in entertainment as them, there's more important things when considering a relationship.
"We've been together for 5 years and we absolutely hate each other but at least we both like Jay-Z." | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:21:22 PM | I'm sure they'll say some yes some no. I suggest however, that you think about what I call "profile writing dynamics" for a bit.
Ask yourself why you answered how you did, for example. Do you write your interests in, in exact order of importance to you, or did you write them in as they occurred to you when you happened to fill in those blocks?
Music, dancing and movies occur to lots of people quickly, simply because they are given as examples, or because they see them in other profiles.
Next, think about how much of what you write is because you like to 'talk about" such things yourself, and how much of what you wrote is because you thought that the people/person you are looking for might want to see that in your profile.
I generally think that the best way to read a profile is in a more general fashion, looking only at the specifics, to find immediate deal breakers for you, and specifically against you (such as if they hate smokers, and you smoke). But past that, read to get a general sense of how the person writes, whether they seem "moody" or not, whether they seem to have a general "flavor" you are attracted to. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:21:48 PM | Why not? Simple pleasure & for the most part cost little.
I found dancing to be a deal breaker for some women. Apparently they got their 2nd wind in life for it, after divorcing a man that didn't & are unwilling to settle for it again. Can't say I blame them one bit either. Most have varied music tastes that change, so that's no real biggie & anyone that says they don't watch movies in this day & age & with so much technological choice, is full of crap. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:51:51 PM |
anyone that says they don't watch movies in this day & age & with so much technological choice, is full of crap.
As a person who does NOT watch movies (or videos or porn) and who does NOT own nor watch television, I challenge your statement. This is not a recent position of mine but one that has been true for decades.
A primary intent of movies and television is to stir or affect the emotions of viewers -- and those that fail to do so are "flops." My thoughts on that are 1) If something is to influence my emotions I want it to be real not contrived, not vicarious and 2) I will gladly forgo the tiny bit of accurate, truthful information presented in movies and on television to avoid the propaganda and promotion (preferring to obtain information elsewhere). | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:52:17 PM | movies/music/etc. are among the site's suggestions for writing a profile. many people have no idea how to talk about themselves in this format, so they tend to follow suggestions.
as igor notes, the tone of a narrative provides much more info about personality than the nuts and bolts of what they say. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:00:03 PM | | It's not a deal breaker for me...But I do happen to enjoy music, movies and dancing. I hope that the guy I meet has his own taste in music and movies and he doesn't just like something because I do. And as far as dancing goes, it would be nice to be able to go dancing but it's not a requirement. Besides, I am willing to lead and teach ;) | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:10:12 PM |
anyone that says they don't watch movies in this day & age & with so much technological choice, is full of crap.
Actually it's the movies that are full of crap,not the people that don't watch them. And there are a whole lot that don't. Get outside and check for yourself.
I think the people that put this kinda stuff up on their profiles don't know what else to put on it. Listing the type of music you are interested in can't be a bad thing,can it???? And for those of us that don't watch movies, finding out a person likes to see a movie or two a week is good information to know. I put watching movies right up there(or should I say down there???) with shopping on my list of things "to do". | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:14:39 PM | As a person who does NOT watch movies (or videos or porn) and who does NOT own nor watch television, I challenge your statement. This is not a recent position of mine but one that has been true for decades.
A primary intent of movies and television is to stir or affect the emotions of viewers -- and those that fail to do so are "flops." My thoughts on that are 1) If something is to influence my emotions I want it to be real not contrived, not vicarious and 2) I will gladly forgo the tiny bit of accurate, truthful information presented in movies and on television to avoid the propaganda and promotion (preferring to obtain information elsewhere).
The rest of the civilized world finds artistic & entertainment value from it. Same with the music & dancing. Your post makes more sense now knowing your aversion & paranoia of such things. Kind of like "me Mr.Uni-bomber looking for a Mrs. Uni-bomber" creepy though. Good Luck anyway. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:20:08 PM |
This woman I used to go with was into metal and that entire scene. I HATED IT, but I tolerated it because it was one of the few three things that irked me about her. I don't think something like music, dancing, or movies is a big deal, they're trivial things a lot of people tolerate since those are just personal interest preferences. Not a big deal.
Agreed - it's not a *big* deal if the important elements are there.
However, a question, BlackJacket87: did she ever throw an awful metal CD into the car stereo when you were arguing just because she knew it would piss you off? | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:20:46 PM |
As a person who does NOT watch movies (or videos or porn) and who does NOT own nor watch television, I challenge your statement. This is not a recent position of mine but one that has been true for decades.
...sounds like it is a HUGE deal-breaker for you. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:22:39 PM | OP: "A primary intent of movies and television is to stir or affect the emotions of viewers -- and those that fail to do so are "flops." My thoughts on that are 1) If something is to influence my emotions I want it to be real not contrived, not vicarious and 2) I will gladly forgo the tiny bit of accurate, truthful information presented in movies and on television to avoid the propaganda and promotion (preferring to obtain information elsewhere)."
What a curious idea!
Do you feel the same way about literature - fiction in particular?
If t.v. and movies are places of propaganda then where do you think you can get 'truthful' information? Radio? Print? | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:33:00 PM | C of a crutch
movies/music/etc. are among the site's suggestions for writing a profile. many people have no idea how to talk about themselves in this format, so they tend to follow suggestions.
as igor notes, the tone of a narrative provides much more info about personality than the nuts and bolts of what they say.
Agreed.
There's also an element of the 'wish list'. The potential partner should like or be.....blah, blah. This would be a no-winner for 'hot women'. Most of us guys will jump through hoops to conform to what she wants...sure, I believe Jesus too...yup, country music is great...your toy dogs sure is cute. Doesn't mean us guys are dishonest as much as we tend to go into 'gaga' mode over a pretty face.
When I meet a woman I like and she mentions some liking... I then go to Google or Youtube to absorb as much about it as possible before seeing her again. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:37:28 PM | | I guess it depends how you look at it...I could see if I was really into scary movies and the other person does not watch them...If I loved to dance and it was a passion, but the other person would never attempt to, or would not, and so on...I could see definite problems... | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:01:50 PM |
If t.v. and movies are places of propaganda then where do you think you can get 'truthful' information? Radio? Print?
Perhaps many you (generic term) do not realize that information can come from sources OTHER than television and movies. That is not surprising.
Many have little or no interest in, or be unaware of, books, periodicals, Internet (considering and evaluating a wide range of sources worldwide outside mainstream), articles by experts in many fields (not the "doctor" on television), direct personal experience, etc.
Do you feel the same way about literature - fiction in particular?
I have read some fiction but prefer factual, real world experience and information. Yes, fiction and parables can "get a point across", sometimes better than a factual and true account. People often respond emotionally and intellectually to a story, even if untrue in the real world, more strongly than an actual presentation of information for them to process mentally.
...sounds like it is a HUGE deal-breaker for you.
It would be a deal-breaker for me if a woman was obsessive about music, television, or movies – particularly if she expected me to share her enthusiasm for such things. What she does on her own in that regard is not of concern to me – though I might question her judgment.
The rest of the civilized world finds artistic & entertainment value from it. Same with the music & dancing.
Correction: SOME of the "civilized world" finds artistic value in television and movies – perhaps the majority – the majority of the US population is also overweight or obese (and perhaps sedentary spectators). If "everybody thinks so" does that make it right or desirable?
I do not question that many find "entertainment value" in watching things happen on a screen presented by actors and promoters of products. I, personally, prefer to DO things rather than to be entertained watching others. I appreciate human accomplishments, but do not care how many teacups someone can balance on their forehead, or who can run the fastest, or who can play with balls better than others.
Your post makes more sense now knowing your aversion & paranoia of such things. Kind of like "me Mr.Uni-bomber looking for a Mrs. Uni-bomber" creepy though.
In your mind is a person who doesn't watch movies and television "creepy" and like "Uni-bomber?"
Paranoia? If one states a personal preference that disagrees with your favored entertainment media they must be "paranoid?" Perhaps that reveals some insight into your thought processes, values and judgment.
Actually it's the movies that are full of crap,not the people that don't watch them. And there are a whole lot that don't.
I agree. But it seems as though there actually not too many people who do not watch television or movies. Most have been raised with or by television and many glorify movies and celebrities. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:13:07 PM | ___J0hnDavid___
I feel like you oversimplify the benefits of the performing arts or arts in general. There's value in the arts even if it's not derived directly from the work itself. I dislike the vast majority of movies I watch and still benefit from them in that it's a shared experience with others. I can discuss my point of view, why the film was lacking, and hear the opinions of others. At the very least it gives you a conversational topic to gauge others' thoughts and value systems.
It's fine to want to do activities instead of watch movies or television. I rarely watch television or movies but I'm not going to go hiking or biking in the middle of a blizzard, or maybe I'm sore from whatever excursion I went on the prior day. It's something to do with family, friends or significant others on those off days. Of course, you can do whatever you want with your time, but the point is that there's some value there. It's not all just emotional manipulation or propaganda. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:15:11 PM | | I'm not big on music, dancing, or movies either. I only listen to music in my car, and it's easy listening. I absolutely do not dance, and I actually consider it a turn-off if a guy likes to dance since I figure he's going to eventually want me to dance with him. As for movies, I enjoy the movie theater occasionally, but I don't like to rent or own, and I couldn't care less about actors' personal lives. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:20:23 PM | | if ignoring the intellectual wasteland of mainstream hollywood makes someone unabomber-like, you can call me Mr. Kaczynski. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:29:06 PM |
if ignoring the intellectual wasteland of mainstream hollywood makes someone unabomber-like, you can call me Mr. Kaczynski.
Well said.
Many people seem incapable of expressing ideas or discussing topics without reference to television or movie characters or situations. What does this tell about their real-life knowledge, ability and experience? | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:38:47 PM | If a man doesn't dance, it would be a deal breaker for ME because I dance every day, and go out dancing at least once a week.
And that might be a deal breaker for YOU too. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:49:16 PM |
Are music, dancing and movies REALLY among the most important items in many women's lives?
Personally speaking, music is a yes. My brother started teaching me audio recording, production, and mixing when I was 11 years old or so and it sure stuck. I eventually started making my own music, studied sound design and post-production in college, and had wanted a career in film title design and/or scoring. I didn't get to finish my BFA program (leave it to me to go to an overpriced college overseas) and I've since gone in an entirely different direction, but music is still very important to me. I still make it for fun, and most of my day is spent in headphones listening to it. Yes, music is in my profile.
Dance - I dance daily for fitness purposes. I also study a bit of dance history for fun since it tends to go hand in hand with some of the international music I listen to. So I guess you could call that a little important. No, dance is not in my main profile, but it does make an appearance in my Interests.
Movies - what can I say - they're fun from both an entertainment and production point of view. Despite my shameless fascination with bad pointless action flicks, I do actually find myself often engrossed in the music, sound design, and Foley work of a well put together film. The script, editing, costume design, and cinematography also catch my attention. I enjoy geeking out with people over those kinds of things. Hugely important, nah, but fun nevertheless. Yes, movies are in my profile.
What if a man liked different music or was not particularly interested in dancing? Would that be a "deal-breaker" for them?
Considering some of the music I listen to is kind of "out there," I'm totally fine with someone who doesn't share similar preferences. Nothing wrong with that at all. Similarly, no interest in dancing is definitely not a deal breaker, either, though it would be kind of awesome having someone to shake it with. Most men I've dated didn't dance at all. Never been a problem. Interestingly, dance history conversations happen every so often, and it's not always me who starts them.
Long story short, sometimes there are reasons why someone has these things in their profile beyond "music iz kewl, movies r kewl." Sometimes they are genuine interests and not just filler suggested by the profile tips to pump up the word count. Sometimes. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:58:12 PM |
If a man doesn't dance, it would be a deal breaker for ME because I dance every day, and go out dancing at least once a week.
And that might be a deal breaker for YOU too.
A woman's dancing interest would not be a deal-breaker for me unless they expected or required that I join them or share that interest. "Go dance, have fun, I have other things that interest me. We can do together what we share -- and not limit the other from doing what they enjoy." If we (generic term) have little or nothing in common to enjoy together, let's not waste time trying to force-fit. If your life is oriented around music and dancing and mine around other pursuits, we probably don't have much in common. | |
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| Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 3:06:04 PM | OP, I read your profile, and it seems that you value nature, country living and non traditional ways of thinking. I assume that like many of us (with different sensibilities) it's a needle in a haystack situation finding a par amour.
As an aside, I understand from your profile that you are separated, which for some women might be an issue. I would say, though that many women would be uneasy dating a man who is still wearing his wedding band. I'm assuming it's a dated photo. You might want to reconsider the photo. Just saying! Good luck. | |
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