| | Ex and CheatingPage 1 of 1 | | I have an ex that I am still friends with on facebook but we don't talk as I am never on there. Many years ago she cheated but I was too humiliated to ever ask about it. It's been bothering me for years. How would I ask about this? I don't want her to think I am asking so I can argue about it but just need to know so I can finally put this behind me. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:51:07 PM | 'Many years ago' and if so then why would you now want to know? What could she possibly say (even if she entertained you with a response after all that time), that would help you put it behind you? Some people just cheat, even if they give a reason it's rarely the real reason.
She wanted to do it & she didn't care enough about you to stop herself from doing so, even if it meant she'd lose you if she got caught. There's your reason. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:52:34 PM | You want to ask her if she cheated, or details about why she cheated and who she cheated with?
If it's the latter, you're only going to compound the pain and create drama where there should be none (it's been years).
You should already be moving on, and more information about this won't help your healing at all. It'll just create more anger, and a fight out of things.
You can't approach her about this. It would be like returning an item to a store, 3 years later.
Its beyond inappropriate, and you really need to let go. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:07:57 PM | It's completely inappropriate to ask this years later. The time to have done that would have been when it was happening but not now. You are essentially going to back her into a corner, however carefully you approach this, and that is never a good idea. Heck, she might not even remember the reasons why and if she does, she no longer owes you the truth.
As a side note - why is an ex who you don't talk to and aren't friends with, on your FB account ? Why give them all that access to what's happening in your life today. Mind boggling to me. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:11:14 PM | | She cheated years ago...YEARS AGO. Why does it even matter? You aren't together anymore, and you could probably save yourself the trouble by removing her from your FB. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 3:46:39 PM |
I was too humiliated to ever ask about it. It's been bothering me for years. How would I ask about this? I don't want her to think I am asking so I can argue about it but just need to know so I can finally put this behind me.
What could you possibly ask about it, especially years later? She cheated; the end.
YOU are the one to put it behind you. You’re giving this woman way too much power over your feelings. Haven’t you wasted enough time? | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:27:22 PM | oh get over it , it was years ago why does it matter why she cheated? she cheated and it was a long time ago
I know I would be put off if a ex asked me, mind you ive never cheated on a BF and I know the last two I dated cheated and I dont want to know why they are history to me. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:45:04 PM | | Erm.... your profile indicates you're married.... "Isn't seeking a relationship or any type of commitment". Married, on a dating site... asking why an Ex cheated on you. Really? | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:57:05 PM |
Erm.... your profile indicates you're married.... "Isn't seeking a relationship or any type of commitment". Married, on a dating site... asking why an Ex cheated on you. Really? t.
Looks like he has the 7 year itch. Now he wants closure he never had and is using it as an excuse to rekindle an old flame. Nobody goes searching out an ex unless it's for ulterior motives. I am sooooooooooooooo glad that I don't have facebook. I don't need anyone from my past sneaking up on me. But I doubt very much any of my exes are on there. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:24:57 AM | Why seek 'the truth' from someone who cheats? Do they even know what the tuth is?
Seek your own truth, be your own truth. That is all you can control, is yourself.
You missed your chance to hash this out when it happened. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/19/2012 3:13:56 PM |
Why seek 'the truth' from someone who cheats? Do they even know what the tuth is?
Seek your own truth, be your own truth. That is all you can control, is yourself.
You missed your chance to hash this out when it happened.
Exactly. You are not going to get the truth. It's just going to hurt, believe me. Just accept it and move on. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/19/2012 3:48:38 PM | | what they all said lol. seriously it was years ago. You're obviously living in the past, and that's what's going to make it hard for you to meet and move on with a new person. I figure if someone cheats, there's no point holding onto it or them, get over the hurt, don't pine, and move forward. If you keep holding onto that, especially after this length of time, you'll never be able to find your "happiness within" | |
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kja71
| | Joined: 12/21/2011
Msg: 13 | |
| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/19/2012 4:38:36 PM | | Let it go. You'll never get the answers that you're looking for. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/20/2012 7:38:30 AM |
Many years ago she cheated
It doesn't matter if it was many years ago or yesterday, the fact is it still bother's you and you need answers so that you can finally bury what has been tormenting you.
I alway's had this 'feeling' inside that my ex husband cheated whilst I was in hospital giving birth to our 3rd child. It ate away at me for years even after we broke up. I finally had the courage to ask him.
As we were both in new relationships at that time I asked him and asked him to be honest as we had nothing to lose.
He said the friend caring for our other 2 children did buy a bottle of wine and did try to seduce him, but he rejected her. I believed him and felt relieved.
It's amazing that things can eat away for year's...best to find the answer's if only for self satisfaction, don't let this eat at you anymore. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/20/2012 7:46:06 AM | Cheating is JUST an indication that they were the wrong person for you, nothing more.
I know it hurts, all rejection hurts, no matter how brutal, but you got to let it go and move on to the next. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/20/2012 9:49:31 AM | | lol grow some balls dude are you serious, I went out with my ex for 3 years and I KNOW she cheated I straight up confronted her about it, and asked her if she did, like you have to stick up for your own feelings and if you want to know something just go and ask! ...but anyways my ex said she did...im a human bieng so yeh it hurt like a focking ****...but now im over it..you move on..delete her from your fb and everything..she doesnt deserve you.. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/20/2012 10:22:42 AM | I have an ex
Take her off your Facebook.
we don't talk as I am never on there.
Take her off your Facebook.
Marital Status: Married
Take her off your Facebook.
Many years ago she cheated but I was too humiliated to ever ask about it.
Take her off your Facebook. And seriously, why do you still have any contact with her at all? 1. You're married, and 2. In my book, cheating is one of the most profound injuries one human being can inflict on another. And for that matter, if you know she cheated, isn't it enough that she cheated? Do you really want/need to know all the gory details?
Nothing personal, but you sound like a lot of the women on here posting about getting "closure". (where's the "gag me" emoticon?) | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/20/2012 10:34:23 AM |
I have an ex that I am still friends with on facebook but we don't talk as I am never on there. Many years ago she cheated but I was too humiliated to ever ask about it. It's been bothering me for years. How would I ask about this? I don't want her to think I am asking so I can argue about it but just need to know so I can finally put this behind me.
Oh the irony... you're married, on a dating site, looking to "date"... unless you're in an open relationship, which if you were, you should put on your profile. And you're an attorney?
Moving on... how do you ask her? Just by sending her a note and know that you have no control over her reaction. She may tell you all the gory details or she may tell you to MYOB, it happened years ago and she doesn't owe you anything. Then you move on. | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/20/2012 11:26:16 AM | AWW priceless
the married man who wants to know why an ex he claims he never talks to an has mysteriously added to his facebook page which he is NEVER on,, cheated on him many years ago..
fast forward to present time married man on dating site looking to cheat..
sounds like you can probably answer you own question as well and answer the same question to your wife about cheating.
however pondering minds would like to know just how many years ago did this cheating happen??? an also wonders where you married or attached at the time..be it that if that was the case then who was really cheating on who? | |
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| Ex and Cheating
Posted: 7/20/2012 5:05:25 PM | | Why do u still have her as friend on ur fb. Let go of the past and move on, dont let her think its been bothering u all these years why she cheated on you. | |
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