| | Where is the love??Page 1 of 1 | I have been on POF for about two years now. I feel like I have a great profile and very good pics.. I understand that everyone is particular about specific attributes they are looking for, I know I am, but is height really that big of an issue to you ladies? If so, I feel like you may be looking for the wrong things in a guy. Does anyone feel that there is something else I could improve here? Here is a link to my profile:
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=8832149 | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:24:12 PM | We are in an online environment, here we can almost only go by 'the check-list'
In real life it's easy to get influenced by things such as immediate attraction and chemistry, which often will decrease the importance of the more shallow criterias...
But it is hard to date, so we narrow the field by our preferences, maybe we will miss out - but dating 100 different guys a month isn't really an option. | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:54:09 PM | | Sunped1202, thank you for the response. I completely understand that we all must narrow our search criteria down in this environment but what can I do to do a better job of emphasizing all that is good in me and possibly decrease the shallow things that may cause me to be passed over? Did you have a chance to take a look at my profile? If so, what did you think?? | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:13:10 PM | | Unfortunately the height comes off as shallow, but it's an issue. I want to date someone taller than me that can hold me and make me feel safe, etc. etc. it's an instinctual drive. It might be shallow and I can admit it, but I can't get past it. Sorry I know not what you wanted to hear since you can't fix it. It is what it is and you just have to deal with it being a deal breaker for some. I hope you can stay patient and positive b/c your profile looks great and you will attract someone. Good luck. | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:19:50 PM | Height can be an issue for some, yes. But - you have some great photos and a very detailed well-written profile.
For me as a hypothetical viewer, I wanted to see more photos of your face closer up. When I clicked on the two pictures, they went a bit fuzzy.
What are your introduction messages like? | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:14:07 PM | | I will try to find some clearer photos. I tend to pull mine from facebook, which degrades the quality quite a bit. My introduction messages all depend on the person I am trying to introduce myself to. I try to get a feel for what they are in to and than I will ask a question based on similarities or things we have in common. I try to use humor occasionally but everyone has different senses of humor so, I feel like a lot of the time, humor does not normally work. I try to stay away from the typical "hey you are (cute,sexy,hot etc.)" I think that my introduction messages are the main thing holding me back. | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:21:42 AM | In all honesty I have to say, that because we are in an online environment, we only got our more shallow preferences to go by. In real life the immidiate attraction and the chemistry would decrease the importance of 'the list', but dating is hard and dating every single guy in here isn't really an option.
I think that you have listet too many interest....remember the are seachable and people would rather look for 'travel' than Hong Kong, Tokyo and Thailand.
The fact that you list 3 different kind of alcoholic beverages (and also mention them in your 'about me') makes it seem that you care a bit too much for drinking...Fair enough if you are a collector enjoy wine tasting and such, but just drinking them...not really for me anyway :)
I also find your about me too long, and it really dosen't have to be, on several occations you are telling the same things more than once....
Also about your career, I sounds like you disrecpect people who are staying in the military....no carreer is automaticly 'bigger and better' than another, it is the effort that you put into it, and what you make of it which is the key point.
but overall you come across as a nice guy | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:35:42 AM | I think you're generally on the right track with the messages. I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest:
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Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages:
Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name.
Do not say:
- Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time)
- I read your profile (should be obvious)
- you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message)
- let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message)
- check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already)
- hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate)
Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you.
If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband.
Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? YGF
See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose.
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Do leave the specific Interests. Women in your age range rarely have to search for guys and they even more rarely send first contact messages. The words are in blue in your profile which means they are searchable already, too. | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/17/2012 1:14:18 PM | | Thank you to both You go first and sunped1202. I will make some few small adjustments and hope for the best. Thanks again | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:20:31 PM | | I tweaked my profile a bit and if you guys could take a look, one last time =).... I would be very greatful | |
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| Where is the love??
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:10:54 AM | | I actually liked it better before, you just had to make som minor changes and it would have been perfect :) | |
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