| | Emailing again after they haven't replied in a monthPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Ok, so I have this question but first a little back story.
About a month or two ago I was talking to this girl via pof. We seemed to click and exchanged numbers.
Then after a few days of fairly frequent texts I stopped hearing from her and she stopped visiting the site.
I had figured that she had found someone else and didn't give it another thougth.
That is until the other day when I noitced that she had visited the site again.
Now I'm wondering if I should try and contact her again after all this time has passed or if I should just move on and look somewhere else?
I would still be interested in getting back in touch with her again but I don't know how doing so would be received.
Any insight would be very much appreciated. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:02:10 PM | If she stopped talking to you in the first place there was a reason for it
I.E/ She felt that another option was better (whether it be another guy, staying single etc etc)
It doesn't seem like a good foundation for getting back in touch with someone.
Ofcourse you've got nothing to lose, this being online dating..
She'll either reply or she wont.
(but again going back to the original statement, expect an obviously made up reason for losing contact with you) | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:06:08 PM | Sure based on the fact you guys were actively messaging online before and you have no clue as to why she bailed send her a message.
Just say "Hey I noticed you stopped by the site the other day. Glad to see your back. I would love to chat with you again and catch up".
You have nothing to lose really.
Cowboy
VVVVV Walt old buddy he is talking about sending a single line message to one woman he lost connections with. Not sure how that some huge waste of time. He isnt trying to send messages to a bunch of women. Just ONE short message | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:10:54 PM |
You have nothing to lose really.
As long as the OP takes everything he hears,or reads with a grain of salt, or it can be easily a lot more wasted time. But,if he's got time to waste, I will agree with ya. Me???? I guess it would matter on my mood,and how young the lady is in question. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:38:34 PM | She could have simply been looking for a diversion and you fit the bill. Not even going to get into the possibility that she is playing/cheating on someone...
Apparently, you've only text her. If that is so, get an actual voice conversation going with her and ask a few pointed Q's while intently listening to her responses. If you get the feeling she is juggling many options cut it off.
However, if you believe her excuses, ask her out immediately.
If she hesitates, you are simply a diversion for her.
If she agrees yet "forgets" to show up then cut her off...typical flake
If you do go out and she then becomes distant or hard to get a hold off drop it.
If you navigate all the above and she continues to show interest week in and week out then congratulations...there is a chance this could go somewhere and you've proven bona fide old 'o fashioned perseverence. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:53:32 PM | It never got past texting. She barely knows you, so having some "flakiness" on her part is nothing personal. There could be a thousand reasons why she did an about face. Send a message. She may be wanting to message you, but feels too embarrassed after such a long time.
Sometimes it is easier to say "He/she won't want to talk to me again" than to take a risk. | |
|
| |
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:00:26 PM | | How many times have you been talking to several women/men and then wanted to give one of them a try. You went out, it didn't work out, so you are back here. That could be the same. People usually don't want to know that and the tend to get wearded out to reveal or to hear that is what happened. But it happens a lot. So my advice is simple, send her a message. Be casual and fun. It shouldn't be any big deal. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:12:59 PM | What Outmind said.
It's a double standard to feel that you can stop communication with people when you found someone to date exclusively, then when it doesn't work, you come back online, but that other's cannot do the same.
Send her a message if you're still interested in her. Maybe now is the right time. | |
|
| |
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:16:13 PM | | Maybe she was too busy at the time or getting tons of emails and needed time to sort through it all. It can get overwhelming. I would give her the benefit of the doubt and see. Too early on to tell. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:37:38 PM | | I don't know how in depth your messages went for each other or how long they went on for but doesn't hurt to send a simple message to say hi and see how she is doing. Worst that could happen is getting a rejection message or no response at all but she may be happy to hear from you and interested in something with you. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 7:24:35 PM | i hope i wouldn't be considered flakey doing the same thing.
i actually don't know how to tell when someone is online and am not in the habit of going online to this site every day.
it's sporatic.. real life always gets my time and attention.
if it were me, i would hope you would contac me again, just to say hello and ask how things are going. you can probably tell from her response (or non response) if she is interested in keeping up the communication. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 7:27:38 PM | It's been said " the best predictor of future behaviour is past behavior "
OR
Do you really want someone who would lose interest in you in the first place or someone who couldn't possibly ? | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 8:55:54 PM | this happened to me before. flirty exchange of private messages followed by a few texts passed along through phones, then nothing for almost a year. then I saw her profile back on pof, dancing around the random section on my profile (you know that part on your profile where other local users pictures show up), and since I no longer had her number in my phone, I sent her a message on pof.
Hey, I remember you. It's V---, right?
and she responded, but then again found another distraction. And I was fine with that, because her spelling was atrocious. She was just looking for a meathead without all the vocabulary, I'm sure.
So, I guess the point is, sure, go ahead. It's much easier to be done with someone when you're already over them. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:46:50 PM | She gave you her phone number and you didn't bother to call her? Read some of the threads on text messaging. A lot of people only use texts as a prelude to a phone conversation and then a meet.
Did you really think you were the only guy she was in contact with? Somebody else actually used the phone number she provided to call and ask her out. It didn't work out so nows she's back. Why haven't you called her yet? | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:25:11 AM | | ^^^^^yes, agreed with above comment! You have nothing to loose. We are busy in real life and don't take any assumption what had happened. Give her a call and make plan to meet face to face. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:47:27 AM | I recently received a msg here on POF from a guy I exchanged msg's with way back in 2006!
There was never any hope of us meeting of course back then because he lives in Canada and I live in Australia.
One day I disappeared and cancelled my account on here because too many changes happened.
I loved the forum's but they changed the format. I lost interest in the site.
I was overwhelmed when I received this msg from this guy.
A simple 'hello, I remember you how have you been?' cannot possibly hurt anyone so go for it...What's the worse scenerio? | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:06:02 AM | Hey, OP...a lot depends on your confidence.
Do you come across better in 'real life' than in non-personal contact? She didn't pick some other fellow over you for the last month but someone who might just have come across better in correspondence. You as a 'real' person need not feel as if you were put aside.
I'd push to meet her in a few days. Show her your best and what she almost let go of. Go for it.
Very important. Always show class. Women really, really like a guy that doesn't get his back up, pout, get angry, etc, when they are rejected. Never burn your bridges. she's sometimes had a partner that reacts negatively so best to you put forth an image on an 'altogether guy with integrity' . It can keep the door open for a second chance in future. Nice women really do prefer nice guys. | |
|
| |
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:50:35 AM | Agree with shooting her a casual hello. Worst case scenario she doesn't respond and you are back where you were before you sent it :)
Also agree that if you start talking again, call her so you get beyond that initial communication stage. | |
|
| Emailing again after they haven't replied in a month
Posted: 7/17/2012 10:00:00 AM | To take the stance that "she ditched you once so she's going to ditch you again" is utterly ridiculous considering how preliminary and superficial your interaction was up to that point. As has been said, there are countless possible reasons for her falling off the map--most of them completely non-sinister-- and let's face it, at that stage she doesn't owe you a thing (not even an explanation, IMO). That's online dating for you.
Even if she stopped talking to you because she chose to pursue something with somebody else, so what? To look at yourself as "second choice" only holds any real meaning if she knows exactly what both you and the other guy are like at the time she makes the choice. That's clearly not the case here.
As for the reasoning that if she was interested, she would re-establish contact--how can you be so sure? What if she simply feels like "dang it, I blew that opportunity, best to just cut my losses" and is secretly hoping you'll initiate contact?
I'm just saying, you never know. If you found her interesting then you're only short-changing yourself by not at least checking it out before shutting the door for good. | |
|
Home
login 
